You know you're a Canadian when...

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

• Your other ride is a Zamboni

• The word Trudeau triggers multiple generations of your family

• Your mom yells at you because you're melting in a curve on your CCM replacement blade on her stove

• Your family doctor recommends you switching from Indica to Sativa

• You get a couples of Loonies in change from a $20 bill buying a jug of maple syrup

• While driving north, you'll know you've gone too far when you stop seeing trees

• You have an article of clothing or a key-chain with Bonhomme on it, tabarnac!

• You know someone who's uncle went to school with Anne Murray

[EAP]

You forgot about "making passionate love to Celine Dion, as the titanic's stern goes fully erect.

[Slap]

You dream of a titanic black cock splitting your ass cheeks.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Guys, c'mon...this is serious... :(

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

You dream of a titanic black cock splitting your ass cheeks.

Close, but that's actually "You know you're Mikey when..."

[Innocent Bystander]

Questions for Funkywhiteboy.

Canada is just the US after Britain wins 1776. Exact same people, only one pledges allegiance to a living person and the other pledges allegiance to an intangible concept.

If Canada won 1812, why didn't Canada extend its empire?

[Chernobyl]

You dream of a titanic black cock splitting your ass cheeks.

Close, but that's actually "You know you're Mikey when..."

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Holly Golightly]

The SADDEST thing about Schlomart is that he tries to be funny but isn't funny at all.

Almost every one of his posts is an attempt at humor...where he fails completely.

The only thing more sad that trying to be funny and failing
is meeting somebody from the internet, flying thousands of miles
to meet them, posting pictures on the internet and the girl is six
inches taller than you....you fall in love and ask her to marry you

And she says "You are too short and you have a tiny penis"

How does one overcome so much humiliation?

Schlomart from Canada...How do you still post here?

You are a internet laughing stock...NOBODY is laughing with you....

They are laughing at you!

You are even worse than Jokey!

Nobody is worse than Jokey, but YOU!

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Wisconsin Queer says what?

[Holly Golightly]

Wisconsin Queer says what?

The SADDEST thing about Schlomart is that he tries to be funny but isn't funny at all.

Almost every one of his posts is an attempt at humor...where he fails completely.

The only thing more sad than trying to be funny and failing
is meeting somebody from the internet, flying thousands of miles
to meet them, posting pictures on the internet and the girl is six
inches taller than you....you fall in love and ask her to marry you

And she says "You are too short and you have a tiny penis"

How does one overcome so much humiliation?

Schlomart from Canada...How do you still post here?

You are a internet laughing stock...NOBODY is laughing with you....

They are laughing at you!

You are even worse than Jokey!

Nobody is worse than Jokey, but YOU!

[BSmack]

If Canada won 1812, why didn't Canada extend its empire?

There was a small problem in Europe happening during the War of 1812.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

We whipped Shorty's ass.

When was the last time you ever sat down to a delicious Beef Napoleon.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

"This color drawing from 1798 mocks both the French navy’s abysmal performance against Nelson’s fleet and the French hope to invade England; in the style of Gillray, it depicts a grotesque, gargantuan woman, straddling the English Channel and urinating into French ships while her trident pierces France and breaks off pieces to be seized by Britain."

[EAP]

You dream of a titanic black cock splitting your ass cheeks.

No no no. You completely misunderstood the situation.
While you '"go down " on the titanic cock, I'd have finished making love to Canadian icon,
Celine Dion.

You're in davey Jones's locker.
While we are safely back on shore.

[BSmack]

We whipped Shorty's ass.

When was the last time you ever sat down to a delicious Beef Napoleon.

Like I said, it was a small problem. TVO sized.

[Dinsdale]

People still believe "Napoleon was short" myth?

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

People still believe "Napoleon was short" myth?

Of course it was true. Next you're going to tell me the "Black Legend" wasn't true...

WHO ARE YOU SHILLING FOR!?!?!?

[EAP]

People still believe "Napoleon was short" myth?

First of all, napoleon was real short with a 1 inch dick, at full staff.
He suffered from "little man's complex".
Secondly,
It's called "Beef Wellington".
And a napoleon is a french pastry.
Hope that clears things up.

[Dinsdale]

Napoleon was above average height for his day.

http://mrodenberg.com/2013/10/24/how-ta ... bonaparte/

Sucks to be ignorant, eh?

Marty -- I see what you did there.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

[Dr_Phibes]

Canada is just the US after Britain wins 1776. Exact same people, only one pledges allegiance to a living person and the other pledges allegiance to an intangible concept.

Not really, a sense of paranoia did set in after the victory.
There were attempts to create an Indian free state along the Michigan/Ohio border to act as a buffer zone and a cushion against further invasions, no different than Poland between Germany/Russia after the Great War. That came to nothing, the Indian Confederation collapsed after the treaty, they couldn't agree on anything - North America would be drastically different had it come to fruition.

Immigration to Canada became restricted largely to citizens of the British Isles, ethnic make-up cannot compare. Nobody wanted any drastic ideas drifting up from the south and rocking the boat. New loyalties to the Crown were introduced, cementing the future Dominion's loyalty to the Empire. The allegiance to 'a living person' actually translates into a legal entity. Probably difficult for an American to understand, but the Crown and Royal Assent are a safegaurd between the government and the population.

In terms of property rights, there was no difference and remained no difference after the war - despite the rhetoric.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Immigration to Canada became restricted largely to citizens of the British Isles, ethnic make-up cannot compare.

Specifically, NO Germans.
Americans were almost 1/4 Germans at some point, I understand.

[Dr_Phibes]

Probably why they love to dress up and play Frederick the Great during football games. Either at your feet or at your throat.

[Dr_Phibes]

Pretty sure Dins likes Kraftwerk aswell

[Innocent Bystander]

If Canada won 1812, why didn't Canada extend its empire?

There was a small problem in Europe happening during the War of 1812

Perfect time to exert some independence from the Crown.

[Innocent Bystander]

Not really, a sense of paranoia did set in after the victory. ...

The allegiance to 'a living person' actually translates into a legal entity. Probably difficult for an American to understand, but the Crown and Royal Assent are a safegaurd between the government and the population.

You're right, it is difficult to understand. Explain.


As for buffer states, Natives hate each other, even if they hate non-natives more. That's why they were easy to manipulate; they were manipulating the newcomers right back. The Poles (Prussians) have an organic shared identity. Natives had a forced shared identity imposed on them by outsiders. A buffer zone would have only worked with majority half-breeds and Native creoles -- and who wants that?

[Innocent Bystander]

Immigration to Canada became restricted largely to citizens of the British Isles, ethnic make-up cannot compare.

Specifically, NO Germans.
Americans were almost 1/4 Germans at some point, I understand.

Who could hate the Amish? Too Protestant for anti-papist Catholics (Anglicans)?

[Wolfman]

Looking across the St.Lawrence River you can't see any difference between both sides. A drive along the Rio Grande obviously different. I married a Canadian gal over 56 years ago. Still hot looking.

[Innocent Bystander]

Looking across the St.Lawrence River you can't see any difference between both sides. A drive along the Rio Grande obviously different. I married a Canadian gal over 56 years ago. Still hot looking.

First time I drove to El Paso floored me. Nice campus, though.

You're from Maine, did you feel closer to Canadians than the rest of the States?

[EAP]

Napoleon was above average height for his day.

http://mrodenberg.com/2013/10/24/how-ta ... bonaparte/

Sucks to be ignorant, eh?

Marty -- I see what you did there.

So above average on the height,
But what about the 1 incher?
It's common knowledge that he had "little man complex".
Why else would a supposedly secure man of means, try to conquer all?

[Wolfman]

Not from Maine, from Syracuse NY. Went to college, U of Maine and even played a little football there. Was living in Ogdensburg NY at my first teaching job when I met Mrs.O in April 1963. The Canadian girls would come over to a favorite watering hole of mine and dance to the tunes of their Saturday night house band. Saw a very sexy looking young lady, asked her to dance. Love at first sight and we were married in August. I do have Canadian relatives as my maternal grandmother was also a Canadian.

[BSmack]

If Canada won 1812, why didn't Canada extend its empire?

There was a small problem in Europe happening during the War of 1812

Perfect time to exert some independence from the Crown.

Canada might have broken away were it not for the American army sent Canada acting like an invading horde.

See the story of the burning of York and the massacre of innocent civilians during that invasion. Any chance for Americans to turn Canadian public opinion their died with the burning of York.

[Kierland]

That number is zero.

[mvscal]

Immigration to Canada became restricted largely to citizens of the British Isles, ethnic make-up cannot compare.

Specifically, NO Germans.
Americans were almost 1/4 Germans at some point, I understand.

Who could hate the Amish? Too Protestant for anti-papist Catholics (Anglicans)?

Anybody can hate anybody or anything. I think a quick perusal of history should make that clear.

The Amish initially settled in Pennsylvania colony which was, originally, a Crown Colony chartered to William Penn and the Quakers. They were notably broadminded folk. Benjamin Franklin was a fair son of that colony and its philosophy. It's no accident that Philadelphia was the intellectual center of the early colonies. In the unlikely event that you aren't a shit troll and are sincerely interested in the subject, The Americans: The Colonial Experience by Daniel Boorstin is an excellent read on the early colonial settlements and their various charters.

[Dinsdale]

You know your a Canadian when you suck moose cock.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Hardly anyone in Canada sucks moose cock.

[Dr_Phibes]

Canada might have broken away were it not for the American army sent Canada acting like an invading horde.

See the story of the burning of York and the massacre of innocent civilians during that invasion. Any chance for Americans to turn Canadian public opinion their died with the burning of York.

Which is ridiculous, Upper Canada is the heart of Empire loyalism. That sort of arrogance lost the war.

And in fairness, drawing Americans into reprisals was a British tactic. The burning of York was response for the detonation of the grand magazine at Fort York - that was a massacre. Without the manpower to defend the border, Empire troops drew them into irrational engagements. You've probably noticed that in your own studies, fighting along the whole St. Lawrence quickly became disjointed. Practical strategic results were abandoned for pointless vengeance missions and local bloodbaths.