Your Favorite Burger

[Mikey]

What's your favorite burger?
Is it at a fancy restaurant?
Fast food?
Local dive?
Something you make at home?

Post a picture and description here, in the Cooking Forum:

https://www.theoneboard.com/board/viewforum.php?f=17


This Baja Burger is pretty damn good.

[Kierland]

One of the things we do in our travels is look for good burger joints.
Kroll’s across from Lambeau Field? Excellent.
Capital Burger in DC? Same.
Border Burger in Manitou Springs CO? Bought two they were so good.
Burger She Wrote in LA? Was at one time my fav, slipped just a little.
The Butcher and the Bar in Boynton Beach FL? Absolutely my fav Triple D burger place.
The Spot in Carpentaria? Great old school burger.

And the Winner is- The Cozy Inn Salina KS, every thing a burger should be including priced under $1.50 (not a typo)

I like them traditional, but if I am going trendy it’s going to be teriyaki/pineapple or mushroom/Swiss.

[Wolfman]

Culver's Mushroom/Swiss---- double--- huge moist and tasty. Pricey at $6.69.

[88BuckeyeGrad]

I posted in the cooking forum. Locally, I find the burgers at Brooks Burgers (https://brooksburgers.com/) to be the best around, other than my own.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

Since this thread is in the smack forum I'll tell you about my worst burger experience. I think I told this story at .net but here it is for you degenerates.

August-ish 2021
Dickinson, NoDak
Burger King

Chain restaurants were just starting to reopen their indoor dining spaces after Covid and there was some chaos as restaurants navigated mine fields of rapidly changing and often conflicting city, county, state, and corporate mandates. I can testify Grifter's Gas had some interesting challenges with the heath department. Striking a balance between "You can act like a human again." and "YOU'RE GOING TO KILL EVERYONE!" was not a simple task. Unfortunately, this Burger King went full retard in the transition.

Before you give me crap about eating at Burger King, I had been on the road all day and the thing I wanted most in the world was a place to sit and eat that wasn't behind a steering wheel. When I saw the interior lights on I got excited and walked through the door like Vince McMahon.


Immediately, I was assaulted by a variety of pungent odors. It's obvious they had been cleaning but...damn...is that licorice and bleach boiling in a pot of rancid assholes sprinkled with powdered soap? *deep sniff* Mmmmaybe? Is there a grease trap backed up? Again...maybe?

I should have walked out. I didn't.

At the counter a pasty, genderless anthromorph struggled to find Big Fish plus tomato with extra tartar on the keyword-searchable, illustrated point of sale system. Fine. Whatever. I've got plenty time for xer to work through a vicodin fog. Just happy to be not driving a truck for a few minutes, but...what the fuck is that smell???

Paid my money, took my cup to the freestyle machine, and had no confidence at all this fish sandwich was going to have tomato on it. I was right; it had no tomato and no tartar because EXTRA means NONE when you can't figure out if you have a dick on purpose or on accident, but that's not the point of the story.

I sat down at a table that promised to be CLEAN. A small laminated card read "CLEAN" and in smaller print, "When you are done, flip this card over." The other side of the card said unclean or needs cleaning or something along those lines. Groovy, the table is clean. I sat on the hard plastic bench and tried to slide over. My pants were sticking to the bench and would not slide. Wha?? I put my hands down and lifted myself off the bench to shuffle sideways and my hands stuck to the bench. Then my forearms stuck to the table. Thafuk is everything sticky for?

So, I start experimenting in this sticky fun house. If I toss the CLEAN card like I'm dealing blackjack and it doesn't even try to slide across the table. Flick...stick. I notice the floor is sticky also. My boots make a "schlurck, schlurck, schlurck" sound when I do a little seated tap dance. I try a few other seats and tables. Same thing. I start to wonder if Randy Marsh got here first.



Everything I touch smells like straight soap. I can only assume the fear of killing grandma resulted in using undiluted cleaning solution. Overcompensating like Nostra at a basketball tournament.

My big fish was fucking awful. The bun was dry, the fish was soggy, and I threw away the second half. I considered asking Allexys the Magic 8 Ball of Gender to fix my meal but xhe was busy closing one eye and trying to find Combo Meal #1 with three more people in line. Sometimes the win isn't worth the fight.

With that having sucked from start to finish I can't wait to get back in the truck. I think there's half a box of powdered donuts on the floor; looking forward to it. The last thing I need from this road side attraction is a place to piss.

I walked down the hallway toward the restroom and that weird smell of black licorice and rancid assholes got stronger and stronger. When I opened the door the odor was actually tangible. Like...I could feel it on the roof of my mouth. Two other dudes were in the restroom. One looked at me like "What is happening in here?" The other guy was on his way out and refused to make eye contact.

Burger King management had removed all the flush handles from the urinals. I swear on my life they REMOVED THE FLUSH HANDLES! I glanced into the stalls and the handles on the shitters were gone also. There is nothing Hamas has done to compare to the horrors in those johns.

I assume they removed the handles to prevent Covid spreading through touch but what a trade-off! Did anyone think that through? The piss mellowing in the urinals was dark yellow/orange and had a glossy sheen on top. How does that even happen? Is someone pissing vegetable oil? At first I thought it was a skin on top like scalded milk. I spat into it and nope, just oily. Gawd...damn. I should have walked out. I didn't. Having already committed to taking a piss, my middle-aged bladder insisted it was going to empty itself somewhere so it might as well happen here.

I stood back from the urinal -as many other dudes had done if the huge wet spot on the floor and wall was any indication- and released my stream in a smooth arc, trying to manage kegel flex to maintain a steady stream. They say a 50% winning percentage will get you to the playoffs and 70% will get you home field advantage. I made it to the wild card.

I went to the sinks to wash off any dick sweat and smegma clinging to my dick beaters. THESE PSYCHOPATHS TOOK THE HANDLES OFF THE FAUCETS!

You can't flush
you can't wash your hands
the floors are sticky
the chairs are sticky
the tables are sticky
the employees are shitting on top of each others' shit!
and everyone just keeps making sandwiches like nothing!!!!!
ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

[The Seer]

Nice story but you didn't even order a burger.

At least it wasn't a fish taco.

[FiatLux]

At least it wasn't a fish taco.

I love fish tacos. I just like them when they smell and taste sweet. They're not easy to find. Trial and error. It's a hit or miss. But worth the effort.

Every place should have fish tacos.

[Mikey]

At least it wasn't a fish taco.

I love fish tacos. I just like them when they smell and taste sweet. They're not easy to find. Trial and error. It's a hit or miss. But worth the effort.

Every place should have fish tacos.

I make them at home once in a while and they’re pretty fucking awesome. One of Mrs. Mikey’s favorite meals. I’ll post some pics next time.

[The Seer]

I love fish tacos. I just like them when they smell and taste sweet. They're not easy to find. Trial and error. It's a hit or miss. But worth the effort.
Every place should have fish tacos.

Shaved, waxed, or au naturale...

[Kierland]

Hey look, the new sophomore tried to make a pussy joke.