Sweet Home

[Softball Bat]

Atmore woman crowned Miss Alabama in National American Miss pageant




https://www.wkrg.com/alabama-news/atmor ... geant/amp/



The finalists...

[FiatLux]

Where's the blood?







-Carrie

[Carson]

More like Eatmore.

[Roux]

I kept looking on that website for some disclaimer, some notice that it was satire, or something like the Onion.

Nope. It is legit.

Roll tide.

[Softball Bat]

It's real.

https://www.wkrg.com/alabama-news/atmor ... s-pageant/




#too_funny

[JPGettysburg]

Welcome to the new reality.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

This is the risk you run with no swimsuit competition. You allow ham planets to wear circus tents and score points espousing the correct political message.

[88BuckeyeGrad]

Completely unrelated to the current topic...



https://www.elevenwarriors.com/the-ohio ... ming-queen

[Dr_Phibes]

Maybe the food in Alabama is really good.

[Diego in Seattle]

Maybe the food in Alabama is really good.

The food in Alabama is all deep fried & washed down with sweet tea.

[StrawMan]

This is the risk you run with no swimsuit competition. You allow ham planets to wear circus tents and score points espousing the correct political message.

Throwback alert! Thank G0d for the wayback machine. Ham fatties and butter monsters!!

WAR fatchicksinpartyhats RIP Miguel

[bungle clone]

You allow ham planets to wear circus tents and score points espousing the correct political message.

Daayum dude man what a rough no holds barred take! just have a man
1

I got some 34% THC herb thye call Layer Cake. I think it's a hybrid. Yeah man it has that canny feature of enhancing the edges of perception man!

So uhhhhh wtf was it... oh yeah... I guess your post struck me as just a brutal, crude and personal type of missive at a... target, yeah. After years of layoff from such mental mosh pits of the other the, the launch pad and kcclones.com and... I forgot again. Anyway I got some edibles from the dispensary too and they are fourty mgs each and they last a loooooooong time.

this is good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9e8CPULjW4&t=4s

I uh oh yeah drugs... so the best possible fit that I know of to explain your "edginess" has to be meth. see, hermano that devils powder you don't need! It'll rot your very soul unless you are 1smoothG. Another synaptic intervention could be the cure. Like the herb, man, the herb could be an antidote to the over the top ogre behavior exhibited with like the aggressive take down of someone calling her a fukking "ham planet".

[Sudden Sam]

Maybe the food in Alabama is really good.

The food in Alabama is all deep fried & washed down with sweet tea.

Diego confirms that our food is really good.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

You allow ham planets to wear circus tents and score points espousing the correct political message.

Daayum dude man what a rough no holds barred take! just have a man

I might be a little too olde school for you. If you need a kindler, gentler smack chat, I'm sure a fair number of posters will oblige. For me, I'm going to tell you the truth even when it's hard and has knobby bits on the end.


Look, this girl is fat. Not "big-boned," not "curvy," not "living her authentic life," just fukkin FAT! Unhealthy by every unit of measure evaluating human biology. Her joints are not designed to carry that kind of weight. Her epidermis cannot keep up with the expansion of her dermis. Her organs are being crowded by globs of internal fat, restricting their function. Her heart is pumping 120 weight fluid through 250,000 miles of capillaries when it's designed to pump 20 weight fluid through 100,000 miles of capillaries. Parts of her body are going to die and fall off because she can't get blood to them. Her body has run out of places to store fat molecules so it puts fat in the liver and heart sack. Holy shit, this woman is in metabolic failure. If she was a cow we couldn't sell the meat because her glands and organs wouldn't pass USDA inspection. Get it? Do you understand? I don't malign her simply because she looks like a stack of nasty-assed buckwheat pancakes and smells like feet when that dress comes off. She is unwell. Why are we forced to elevate and celebrate unwell people?

And whose idea was it to put her in a beauty pageant? Some cruel fucker thought it was a good idea to pump lies into her head and parade her before the world as a paragon of virtue. Fuck whatever psychopath came with that idea.

You notice it's Alabama who gets to signal this virtue. Why not New York? Or California? Why didn't those states send a fatty to the stock show? Why's it gotta be Alabama? Is this a backhanded fuck you to the South and their reputation for being overweight? Probably. There's a high probability some metropolitan judges sat in a back room and hashed out this plan to dunk on Alabama while making news headlines as "a diverse and inclusive organization."

Fuuuuuuck you! Get this girl a meal plan and a dog to walk, not a meaningless plastic crown.

[Softball Bat]

Rack that take!

[88BuckeyeGrad]

HPG's take would go viral if it was posted in the right place. Racketh.

[Diego in Seattle]

Maybe the food in Alabama is really good.

The food in Alabama is all deep fried & washed down with sweet tea.

Diego confirms that our food is really good.

I'm good with sweet tea & fried chicken, but only KFC, not Popeye's.

[Sudden Sam]

The food in Alabama is all deep fried & washed down with sweet tea.

Diego confirms that our food is really good.

I'm good with sweet tea & fried chicken, but only KFC, not Popeye's.

I get fried chicken either at Publix or at a gas station about 7 miles from my abode. That damn gas station has great meals. I eat there at least twice a week.

I should live at least another 7-10 days.

[FiatLux]

I might be a little too olde school for you. If you need a kindler, gentler smack chat, I'm sure a fair number of posters will oblige. For me, I'm going to tell you the truth even when it's hard and has knobby bits on the end.


Look, this girl is fat. Not "big-boned," not "curvy," not "living her authentic life," just fukkin FAT! Unhealthy by every unit of measure evaluating human biology. Her joints are not designed to carry that kind of weight. Her epidermis cannot keep up with the expansion of her dermis. Her organs are being crowded by globs of internal fat, restricting their function. Her heart is pumping 120 weight fluid through 250,000 miles of capillaries when it's designed to pump 20 weight fluid through 100,000 miles of capillaries. Parts of her body are going to die and fall off because she can't get blood to them. Her body has run out of places to store fat molecules so it puts fat in the liver and heart sack. Holy shit, this woman is in metabolic failure. If she was a cow we couldn't sell the meat because her glands and organs wouldn't pass USDA inspection. Get it? Do you understand? I don't malign her simply because she looks like a stack of nasty-assed buckwheat pancakes and smells like feet when that dress comes off. She is unwell. Why are we forced to elevate and celebrate unwell people?

And whose idea was it to put her in a beauty pageant? Some cruel fucker thought it was a good idea to pump lies into her head and parade her before the world as a paragon of virtue. Fuck whatever psychopath came with that idea.

You notice it's Alabama who gets to signal this virtue. Why not New York? Or California? Why didn't those states send a fatty to the stock show? Why's it gotta be Alabama? Is this a backhanded fuck you to the South and their reputation for being overweight? Probably. There's a high probability some metropolitan judges sat in a back room and hashed out this plan to dunk on Alabama while making news headlines as "a diverse and inclusive organization."

Fuuuuuuck you! Get this girl a meal plan and a dog to walk, not a meaningless plastic crown.

Bwhahaha

[StrawMan]

The finalists...

You guys are slipping! 2, 4, 3, pass, pass

... and RACK HPG