Meatball Soup

[Dr_Phibes]

As you all know, my wife Dagmar Phibes was a former hotshot Bay Street lawyer, turned supermodel and spokeswoman for the Communist Party.

Recently, I accompanied her to yet another photoshoot for 'Big Tits Magazine' when suddenly an American airliner crashed nearby and in the explosion she twisted her ankle. She was layed up for while and guess who had to do the cooking!!

Things you will need:

carrots
celery
potato
onion
garlic
beef
tomato paste

Warm a pot, low heat and throw in your veg. Add one can tomato paste. Clear out the fridge if you'd like to add anything else. How much? Depends on you.
Stir often, don't burn the veg. When soft, turn up the heat and add 8-10-12?cups of water. How much soup do you want? Bring to a rolling boil.

Get 1/2 - 1 pound mince beef. Pinch off bits and chuck it into the soup.

Turn the heat down and let simmer, time to season your soup. Put in whatever you like, salt, pepper, oregano etc. Tabasco, Lea & Perrins. The longer it simmers the better, it grander the day after. When serving, grate heaps of cheddar and throw it in. (important)

Top notch! When Dagmar looked at me with her big beautiful eyes and said 'Phibes, this is the greatest soup in the world from the greatest man on the planet!', I knew all of our struggles had been worthwhile.

[Dr_Phibes]

Handy trick:

Mickey, if you set fire to the kitchen when making this soup, simply run out the front door, then run back in again. Shout 'OMG who was cooking in here!?'

[Mikey]

Sounds really good. Too much work though.

PS…I never have to wonder who else might have been cooking in my kitchen.

PPS…Please don’t tell Mrs. Mikey I said that.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

Racketh Phibes.

[mvscal]

Handy trick: if you set fire to the kitchen when making this soup,

I have NEVER set fire to the kitchen....while making soup.

RACK Phibes. Honestly, I do make something vaguely similar on the regular in winter. Cabbage roll soup. It ain't fine dining, but it's cheap, filling and damn tasty.

[Dr_Phibes]

Honestly, I do make something vaguely similar on the regular in winter. Cabbage roll soup. It ain't fine dining, but it's cheap, filling and damn tasty.

That's the whole thing, when it's endlessly frigid and you're dragging your arse around, it puts some spring in your step.
Also recently stolen a page from Grandad's book and taken to beef tea (Bovril paste). When it's fresh boiled add some grated cheddar to give it some body and you're off to the races.

[mvscal]

Honestly, I do make something vaguely similar on the regular in winter. Cabbage roll soup. It ain't fine dining, but it's cheap, filling and damn tasty.

That's the whole thing, when it's endlessly frigid and you're dragging your arse around, it puts some spring in your step.
Also recently stolen a page from Grandad's book and taken to beef tea (Bovril paste). When it's fresh boiled add some grated cheddar to give it some body and you're off to the races.

Have you considered starting a You Tube cooking channel with your...well endowed wife? You could have her microwaving cans of soup whilst smearing honey on her erect nipples. It could work.

[Dr_Phibes]

Fame and fortune aren't for us. All that matters are the freshest of ingredients and simple, time-honoured recipes and our love for each other. And there's simply no time, little Tractor Factory and Red Dawn are as precocious as they come and demand a lot of attention.

[Dr_Phibes]

Handy Tip II:

Don't put Old El Paso hard taco shells in the toaster oven to accelerate the heating process. Due to the complexities of science, they are highly f*cking flammable. I had to unplug the toaster and throw it out the back door.
Next morning I went to clean it up and got a few glares from the neighbours.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

Handy Tip II:

Don't put Old El Paso hard taco shells in the toaster oven to accelerate the heating process. Due to the complexities of science, they are highly f*cking flammable. I had to unplug the toaster and throw it out the back door.
Next morning I went to clean it up and got a few glares from the neighbours.

There's a timer on it for a reason. Maybe use that.

[mvscal]

Handy Tip II:

Don't put Old El Paso hard taco shells in the toaster oven to accelerate the heating process. Due to the complexities of science, they are highly f*cking flammable. I had to unplug the toaster and throw it out the back door.
Next morning I went to clean it up and got a few glares from the neighbours.

There's a timer on it for a reason. Maybe use that.

In fairness, he might have been legitimately distracted by Dagmar's heaving breasts.

[Meat Head]

In fairness, he might have been legitimately distracted by Dagmar's heaving breasts, dripping hot honey from her enormous engorged nipples.

[HighPlainsGrifter]

Almost there...