Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, and a thank you...

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:11 pm

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas from my family to yours. It has been a very good year for us and we hope your '06 is as good as our '05 has been.

As I was sitting in the hospital early this week I was debating with myself about this annual holiday post. I even went so far to ask Indy if he had kept a copy of one of the previous posts and he forwarded to me a copy of an abridged version that PSUFan had held onto. But upon further reflection I decided I needed to post this again, partly for those who haven't heard it before, but more importantly for myself. Anyways, the message is always important for all of us to keep in mind this season.

Imagine for a moment a family, Mother, two kids, it can be any family. The mother and two kids are at home eagerly awaiting the spouse/father to return home from a business trip. The father has called home to let his family know he will be home shortly as he just landed and is getting into his car. The mother is putting dinner on the table. They know in just a few minutes their family will be all together again.

At some point the mother begins to wonder to herself, I wonder what is keeping my spouse, he should have been here already. That wonder turns to outright worry as the dinner is now cold. She is frantic by the time she hears a knock on the door, and wonders why her husband would be knocking. As she opens the door she finds two police officers both holding their hats and asking if she is Mrs. Maxwell. She responds in the positive and asks what problem might be. The officers doing their duty deliver the news that her husband was involved in an accident and has been declared dead.

Now imagine another family. Same evening, same situation, waiting for the father to arrive. This family know that their spouse/dad has been in town and is late returning home because he was going by a local bar to have a drink with buddies to celebrate some business deal. This family also goes thru the wonder, worrry, fright cycle before there is a knock at their door. This time the officers inform the family that their father is on his way to the hospital but that he will be fine.

I was a part of the first family. My dad was murdered by the dad from the second family. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. Now with age and the passing of time I have lost some of the anger at my dad's killer. I still am angry at him and want him to suffer like I have and my family has. After he was released from prison he wrote to each of us and asked if he could meet us to appologize in person. I went and listened to him and when he was done I told him I hoped he felt better by appologizing. I let him know that his appology didn't make me feel better one bit. I told him I hope he carries this burden to his death bed like we would.

As always this story isn't told to make you feel sorry for me. I tell this story for my own recovery, and to plant a small seed in your head. I don't want to see any of you guys be the dad in either of the families above.

Don't drink and drive this season. Take a cab, call a friend, call your spouse. On the same token, don't be afraid to take the keys from family and friends that have been drinking. Yeah, it may create a difficult situation, but that is much better than planning a funeral or visiting your buddy in prison. Offer up your couch, your guest room, or even your floor. Call a cab and designate a driver. And this isn't one of those things where I don't live what I am saying. Skull, OUMO, and Shine can all verify that I have taken cabs after drinking with them. Hell, the Cab ride in Norman back to OKC cost me more than all the drinks.

Just be safe and have a very Merry Christmas!

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 12:47 am

RACK

Happy Holidays, Seater

T REX · Post by **T REX** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 1:55 am

I know this one well.....

Cabs or walking......

Nolesy · Post by **Nolesy** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 2:03 am

A timeless story that bears repeating.
Sitting in the hospital? Hope your ma is okay. We have been doing the hospital vigial this past week with my brides mom.

Lefty, I want you to know that I did Christmas presents for needy kids in your pops honor again this year.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a......................................you know the end.

Laxplayer · Post by **Laxplayer** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 3:38 am

Each time I read that story I get pissed. Pissed that there are still assholes out there that drive drunk and pissed that you don't have your dad with you. I just hung out on the couch with mine watching The Santa Clause and now we're going to have ice cream. Cherish the moments.
Peace and prayers to Lefty and his family....and everyone else on the board.

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 4:15 am

My wife is my DD. I don't D&D either and skull can vouch for me as well.

This is the second year I have read Lefties post about his father and I don't think it will ever stop pissing me off.

Cornhusker · Post by **Cornhusker** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 4:45 am

Each year I read your story Lefty I feel so guilty of my petty problems and insignificant complaints in life.
I've never had to experience such a devistating experience.
I feel it's so unfair anyone should.
The Bible says God doesn't give us anymore than we can endure.
I believe you're a testiment to that.
His blessings to you, (your family), your mom and sibling.
You've posted this for the purpose of protecting those on this board you know and care for, and the innocent people's lives we could foolishly affect.
For that, I'll always admire and respect you.

Merry Christmas,
Butch

Oh yeah, and RACK Nolsey and his kiddy care gifts!

BraveFan · Post by **BraveFan** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 8:28 am

Especially now.... after having had the opportunity to meet LS.... this story gets the eyes watered up every time I read it. Despite his hatred of the Big Ten :wink: , LS is always a class act in my book. He'll also always get credit for paving the way for my annual pilgrimage to the Army v. Navy game, which moves him up even another notch.

I can say without hesitation that this story has had, and continues to have an impact on my life..... as recently as tonight. I let my wife get hammered and make a fool of herself while I drank Coke and made a fool of myself (Marylanders just can't seem to get as excited about Ohio State basketball as me). I thought of LS's story every time somebody asked me if I wanted a beer.

Happy Holidays, everyone.... and thanks again, LS.

Nolesy · Post by **Nolesy** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 5:39 pm

Besides the obvious don't drink and drive message I see another lesson to be learned here. That being rising above it. Probably would have been very easy for Lefty to grow up letting bitterness control him. Seemingly he has risen above that "easy path" and fashioned a great life and sense of self . Not saying the pain and emptyness ever leaves just pointing out that we always have the choice of letting it rule us.
Never had the pleasure of meeting the lefter but certianly see him as a stand up feller based on traveling around various boards with him the last few years.

LOefty, wishing you and yours a blessed Christmas.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 6:47 pm

Thanks for your inspirational post(s), Lefty. They are definitely some of the highest points of this community over the years.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 7:01 pm

Lefty, a nice sobering reminder that deserves an annual posting....

We of the folk that like to imbibe, know your limitations and responsibilities...don't drive impaired...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

MiketheangrydrunkenCUfan · Sun Dec 18, 2005 10:55 pm

I can't imagine anyone would need more evidence than that post to not drink & drive, but as someone who has actually gotten a DUI, let me say that it is simply not worth the risk.

First of all, "too drunk to drive" and "legally too drunk to drive" are not the same thing. You might be perfectly capable of operating your vehicle after a few beers, but the breathalizer might have a different opinion.

Secondly, keep in mind that even if you are capable of driving, and even if you think you are obeying all traffic laws, a cop can pull you over for whatever bullshit reason he decides to make up. At that point, it doesn't really matter. You're fucked. Who are the courts going to believe? A cop or some schmuck who blew a .124?

Until my own father died a couple years ago, I can honestly say that getting a DUI was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. I lost my license for 3 months. I had to pay a shitload of fines. I wasted even more money on a lawyer who talked a good game but, in reality, couldn't do shit for me. I had to do 24 hours of community service. That might not seem like much, but try spending three 8 hour days on what would normally be your day off whacking weeds at the Boulder Reservoir. I had to take some alcohol education classes that also cost a couple hundred bucks. And I had to buy a bike to get around because I didn't want to risk driving on a suspended license, and riding the bus is a joke.

After all was said and done, it probably cost me $1500-2000. I was arrested in my apartment complex's parking lot (yes, I made it home, but I try not to dwell on that), so any of my neighbors that looked out the window could see me going through the whole field sobriety test and eventually get handcuffed and put in the back seat of a cruiser. I had to spend several hours in jail while they processed my paperwork. I had to go to a bunch of court dates, plus the aforementioned community service and alcohol classes. Basically, it was a black cloud that hung over my head for a full year.

In the end, the lesson I learned wasn't "don't drink & drive because you can hurt or kill yourself or someone else." It was "don't drink & drive because if you get caught, you're life is fucked for the next year." But the end result is the same - I don't drink & drive anymore.

So if you read Lefty's story and thought to yourself, "well, I'd never get behind the wheel if I was that drunk," maybe my story will convince you to just not do it at all. Considering that what happened to me is actually the best case scenario if you get busted drinking & driving, ask yourself - is it worth it?

L45B · Post by **L45B** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 1:21 am

^^^ RACK that, as well. My cousin got a DUI a couple weeks ago, and I know for a fact he wasn't too drunk to drive, if you will. But nonetheless, he had been drinking and got behind the wheel. And got caught. And exactly what Mike said, happened. Totally fucked.

Sky · Post by **Sky** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:41 pm

While I understand the last two posts and in the past, I have been that guy who drank but "wasn't too drunk to drive," I think they avoid the real issue at hand. The least qualified person to determine whether someone is able to drive is the person who has been drinking.

While we all have limits, it just isn't worth it. Mike and LB, your points have validity but we all know even a little alcohol clouds our judgment. I regret the times I have done that and thank the Lord that nothing worse happened. However, none of us ever want to be involved in LS's situation, on either side. Thanks for the post LS and for the rest of you, I hope you all have a wonderful and safe Christmas and New Year.

buckeye_in_sc · Post by **buckeye_in_sc** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:13 pm

Lefty: Thanks for the reminder...I can honestly say that while I have fallen under the couple beers and I have driven group in the past...now if I do go out with friends i am the guy who has ONE beer as soon as we walk in the door and then shut it down and go to ice tea or diet coke...sure I get ribbed but I would rather be safe than sorry...

I can also honestly say the only time I really drink is when we have card night in our development and I can walk accross the street to the clubhouse and walk home...I always volunteer to be the DD and hope that some of you do as well...

Lefty again sorry for your loss and I take from your post that I continually preach to people to use cabs, DD's or whatever other means necessarry than them getting behind the wheel...

everyone be safe and have a nice holiday season...

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:39 pm

Thanks for the post, Lefty. Always a good reminder.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Dec 19, 2005 10:25 pm

I'll drink to that!

(Within the confines of my own home, of course)

Terry in Crapchester · Tue Dec 20, 2005 1:10 pm

Lefty,

Thanks for the reminder, and once again, sorry for your loss. As someone who's also lost his father, I can understand, at least to some extent, what you're going through. At least in my case, I lost my father to a debilitating disease that no one can be blamed for, and while you're never totally prepared for it, I could see him declining at every turn, and at least I had a chance to say goodbye. You never got that. I also gather that you were much younger than I was when it happened.

One advantage to living in the land of the ice and snow is that weather conditions are a hint and a half not to engage in this sort of behavior, especially around the holiday season. The roads are treacherous enough as it is.