This is how Dick Cheney rolls

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:46 pm

There's so much material here. Who would have thought the VP incapable of changing his station himself? Who knew he prefered those "liberal" papers? And who the hell know he requires a constant 68 degree temperature to maintain his kryogenic state?

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:48 pm

Jesus. You guys are fanatical. Like any other politcians demands are any different.

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:52 pm

...yep, quite different from Bubba...all he needed was a desk, cigar, and a fat intern! But hey, different strokes for different folks.

You might think Bubba cost us far less, but hell he cleand out the White House when he left. Plug in the cost of replacing all the stash they pilfered and it prolly works out pretty close. :wink:

mothster · Post by **mothster** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:52 pm

dude drinks decaff? now thats inside scoop

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:57 pm

I think he's pushing his luck asking for a "private bathroom". Those sure are hard to come by in your own hotel suite.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:13 pm

RACK the Mole.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:34 pm

No gun rack?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:38 pm

ChargerMike wrote:...yep, quite different from Bubba...all he needed was a desk, cigar, and a fat intern! But hey, different strokes for different folks.

You might think Bubba cost us far less, but hell he cleand out the White House when he left. Plug in the cost of replacing all the stash they pilfered and it prolly works out pretty close. :wink:

You always were a sucker for urban legends.

BTW: We're not outraged mv, we're laughing at the pompous old fool.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:39 pm

NY Times ??

I call bullshit

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:40 pm

Wolfman wrote:NY Times ??

I call bullshit

It's true. You don't seriously think Cheney buys the "liberal media" crap he spews to you?

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:42 pm

BSmack wrote:
ChargerMike wrote:...yep, quite different from Bubba...all he needed was a desk, cigar, and a fat intern! But hey, different strokes for different folks.

You might think Bubba cost us far less, but hell he cleand out the White House when he left. Plug in the cost of replacing all the stash they pilfered and it prolly works out pretty close. :wink:
You always were a sucker for urban legends.

BTW: We're not outraged mv, we're laughing at the pompous old fool.

I repeat.. :wink: :wink:

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:44 pm

No shotgun? I call Bullshit.

"Super Volunteer"? Methinks:

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:51 pm

PSUFAN wrote:No shotgun? I call Bullshit.

"Super Volunteer"? Methinks:

Well, that worked out rather nicely.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 6:52 pm

ChargerMike wrote:I repeat.. :wink: :wink:

Pretty much stuck on hold are ye?

mothster · Post by **mothster** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:04 pm

his list is tame compared to the green m&m crowd

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:10 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:FOX News?!?! You're kidding! I'm stunned.

That's what stuck out in my mind, as well.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:19 pm

His requirements aren't "understated", douchbag. When you drop a list on the host like this, you are basically SCREAMING your requirements.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:20 pm

Bizzarofelice wrote:
Sudden Sam wrote:FOX News?!?! You're kidding! I'm stunned.
That's what stuck out in my mind, as well.

He wants his news "Fair and Balanced."

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:20 pm

"All lights turned on?"

Who knew that Dickie was afraid of the dark?

titlover · Post by **titlover** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:27 pm

PSUFAN wrote:No shotgun? I call Bullshit.

"Super Volunteer"? Methinks:

D4GG3R!!!1111 ^^^^^^^^^^

DMike316 · Post by **DMike316** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:28 pm

"We'll leave the light on for you."

- Tom Bodet (Motel 6)

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:38 pm

"What was THAT?? Is somebody there? M-Mister Marbles?"

Sin,

Dick Cheney

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:37 pm

mothster wrote:his list is tame compared to the green m&m crowd

Have you ever heard the story behind the green M&Ms? It's a classic. And it shows that Van Halen had a head for business.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:40 pm

No love for Cheney here, but that list isn't bad at all. You should see the rider for even the shittiest of bands.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:45 pm

ElvisMonster wrote:No love for Cheney here, but that list isn't bad at all. You should see the rider for even the shittiest of bands.

Werd!

Signed,

former "runner"

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:50 pm

BSmack wrote:
mothster wrote:his list is tame compared to the green m&m crowd
Have you ever heard the story behind the green M&Ms? It's a classic. And it shows that Van Halen had a head for business.

I’ve never heard the story, please do tell. Hopefully you’re not in as pissy a mood as yesterday.

P.S. Now playing on 93.1 The Lake: Van Halen, “Cabo Wabo”. :wink:

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:51 pm

ElvisMonster wrote:No love for Cheney here, but that list isn't bad at all. You should see the rider for even the shittiest of bands.

True, but on the other hand, people usualy WANT the bands to come to town. A Presidential or Vice Presidential visit may make for nice headlines, but it's really just a big fucking headache for whatever city they happen to descend upon.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:53 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
BSmack wrote:
mothster wrote:his list is tame compared to the green m&m crowd
Have you ever heard the story behind the green M&Ms? It's a classic. And it shows that Van Halen had a head for business.
I’ve never heard the story, please do tell. Hopefully you’re not in as pissy a mood as yesterday.

P.S. Now playing on 93.1 The Lake: Van Halen, “Cabo Wabo”. :wink:

Here's the way David Lee Roth explains it.

. . . Van Halen was the first band to take huge productions into tertiary, third-level markets. We'd pull up with nine eighteen-wheeler trucks, full of gear, where the standard was three trucks, max. And there were many, many technical errors — whether it was the girders couldn't support the weight, or the flooring would sink in, or the doors weren't big enough to move the gear through.

The contract rider read like a version of the Chinese Yellow Pages because there was so much equipment, and so many human beings to make it function. So just as a little test, in the technical aspect of the rider, it would say "Article 148: There will be fifteen amperage voltage sockets at twenty-foot spaces, evenly, providing nineteen amperes . . ." This kind of thing. And article number 126, in the middle of nowhere, was: "There will be no brown M&M's in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation."

So, when I would walk backstage, if I saw a brown M&M in that bowl . . . well, line-check the entire production. Guaranteed you're going to arrive at a technical error. They didn't read the contract. Guaranteed you'd run into a problem. Sometimes it would threaten to just destroy the whole show. Something like, literally, life-threatening.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:54 pm

If I were the VP my list would look something like this:

Good view
Whirlpool tub
Magic Fingers on bed, turned up to 11
Fridge stocked with Hamm's and Summit Pale Ale
Two packs of jelly with all orders of toast
Hot plate
Jiffy Pop Popcorn ("The Magic Treat, as much fun to make as it is to eat.")
Covers tucked in on bed ("That's one tuck, one no tuck...")

Guest Area:

Ski hill for skiing down or running up
Sauna
Large pool
Killer arcade
Exercise room

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:55 pm

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote:
ElvisMonster wrote:No love for Cheney here, but that list isn't bad at all. You should see the rider for even the shittiest of bands.
Werd!

Signed,

former "runner"

I use to work for the group that brought shows to Mizzou. Riders are a funny thing. The smaller indie bands ended up eating barbecue we made at our house. I'd just like to thank Versus for being cool despite being major Red Wings fans. I remember making phone calls for a third wave ska act to "hook them up" with some sticky green leaves. That wasn't on their rider.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:05 pm

My first show as a runner was AC/DC. Learned very quickly why they call you a "runner". :-)

Their rider was crazy, but we got to eat and drink everything they left in the dressing room. Angus did take the oxygen tanks I bought for him and all the fittings for it, I coulda make some cool waterpipe/bong masks with it.

Rock stars want it all & they get it.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:07 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:Hot plate

L4WNM0W3R!!!1

Wait...

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:10 pm

Fester,

Regarding that Summit Pale Ale, I bought a 6-pack, and it was decent beer, but I’ll be damned if every one of those 6 bottles wasn’t filled to a different level. The worst one was about ¾ full. I’ll stick with the Three Floyds Alpha King, and the occasional Sierra Nevada.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:39 pm

Anyone ever had Hornsby's??

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:46 pm

Cicero wrote:Anyone ever had Hornsby's??

Yea, like 15 years ago. It's not all that.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 9:47 pm

I didnt think so either. My big bro in the Fraternity swore by it, but after one or two I was filled up. You cant pound the things.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:10 pm

Regarding that Summit Pale Ale, I bought a 6-pack, and it was decent beer, but I’ll be damned if every one of those 6 bottles wasn’t filled to a different level. The worst one was about ¾ full. I’ll stick with the Three Floyds Alpha King, and the occasional Sierra Nevada.

I think the guy at the liquor store probably saw the liquid gold and was taking sips on the sly.

As for Three Floyds, I don't drink anything that comes from Indiana. If the company's marketing department put out t-shirts like this....

-I might be persuaded to change my mind.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 1:09 am

I'm sure glad they specified that the Sprite had to be caffeine free.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 5:57 am

Televisions?

He can't see well enough to tell the difference between an old man and a little bird. how many TVs does he need to tell him what he wants to hear?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:52 pm

"I just want to make sure I don't miss Neil Cavuto. That boy is like the son I never had."

- Dick Cheney