Okay, this is just going to be funnier than hell...

[Van]

Five Words You Never Wanna Say To Any Black Woman Who Doesn't Go By Chocolate or Ebony

She never did say what those five words are...

Actually, yep, I'd kinda like to hear her fill in the blanks and finish that story but in the meantime that phrase pretty much screams for a "caption contest" of sorts...

Step on up people and gimme your best shot regarding the five words you never wanna say to any black woman. (Doesn't matter to me whether her name is Chocolate, Ebony, LaQueesha or Quadreviola; once you people get to percolatin' on this one this is going to flat out rule...)

After spending a very unfortunate hour at the DMV last week listening to these embarrassingly loud and guttermouthed 'hood rats yammering away on their cell phones I'm going to have to start this one off with...

..."Shut the fuck up, dirtbag!"

A big 'ol trucker dude had finally had enough of these nasty chicks doing the Loud Ghetto thing and he finally snapped and barked that exact phrase at the two worst offenders.

Their reaction?

:D

Exactly what would you expect?



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~the largest and most gelatinously sloppy "female" water buffalo says into her phone, "Baby, hold on a sec. I gotta deal with something here..."~

~accompanied by an audible whooshing moan from the plastic government issue chair she heaves her bedraggled drawered rotundity up to where she's standing semi erect, hoof on hip, the head starting its Oprahfied bobble dance...the humongous flabby arm starts to raise up, posturing to make her point...~

"Ohhhhh nooooo you DIDN'T!!! You did NOT just tell ME to STFU!!!"

Before she could delve any deeper into her InnerOprah a little 4'8", 85 lb Vietnamese grandmother put down her grocery bag, stood up next to LaHeiffer and said, "Ahhh, yes, he did. And I think I speak for everyone else here when I say YOU ARE VERY INCONSIDERATE WOMAN! WHY you talk so trash? Why you yell everything?? You talk so loud that 'Baby' you talkin' to don't even need phone to hear you! You in a public building! Quiet down!"

Unfortunately, it went no further. Before LaHeiffer could come back at the trucker and the little Vietnamese lady a rent-a-cop came over and forcibly escorted her yelling and screaming ass out of the building.

It was pretty sweet though to hear LaHeiffer's trailing yell, "Get your fucking hands offa me! You can't take me outta here! My number's next! My number's neeeeexxxxxxt......"

[Bizzarofelice]

Words You Never Wanna Say To Any Black Woman

[Moving Sale]

Another steaming pile of horseshit post from Van. Please kill yourself.

[Screw_Michigan]

It was pretty sweet though to hear LaHeiffer's trailing yell, "Get your fucking hands offa me! You can't take me outta here! My number's next! My number's neeeeexxxxxxt......"

rack.

[Van]

LOL!!!

TVO, you're such a pissy little vagina.

[Goober McTuber]

“Thank you for calling, Annie”.

[Cicero]

Please, go back to Africa?

[BSmack]

Before she could delve any deeper into her InnerOprah a little 4'8", 85 lb Vietnamese grandmother put down her grocery bag, stood up next to LaHeiffer and said, "Ahhh, yes, he did. And I think I speak for everyone else here when I say YOU ARE VERY INCONSIDERATE WOMAN! WHY you talk so trash? Why you yell everything?? You talk so loud that 'Baby' you talkin' to don't even need phone to hear you! You in a public building! Quiet down!"

You should have invited the Vietnamese woman to post here. Sounds like she's got some smack to run.

[trev]

Before she could delve any deeper into her InnerOprah a little 4'8", 85 lb Vietnamese grandmother put down her grocery bag, stood up next to LaHeiffer and said, "Ahhh, yes, he did. And I think I speak for everyone else here when I say YOU ARE VERY INCONSIDERATE WOMAN! WHY you talk so trash? Why you yell everything?? You talk so loud that 'Baby' you talkin' to don't even need phone to hear you! You in a public building! Quiet down!"

You should have invited the Vietnamese woman to post here. Sounds like she's got some smack to run.

Rack Calalily.

[Cuda]

You're right, Van. A sub-5 minute meltdown by TVO is always funny as hell

[Van]

Please, go back to Africa?

Okay, we're not even ten minutes into this thing and we already have our clubhouse leader for "Worst Effort".

Cicero, did you seriously just hit "submit" with that??

[DMike316]

YO HOLMES!!! That shit don't be funnizzy at ALL!!

Sincerely,
The group of 18 thugs outside of a convienence store in the "bad" part of town talking shit to no more than 1 or 2 white people entering/leaving the store.

[Van]

You're right, Van. A sub-5 minute meltdown by TVO is always funny as hell

I wouldn't get your hopes up. We shouldn't necessarily count on that little taint dribble of his being his only retort. He's way too obsessed for that.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

Please, go back to Africa?

Okay, we're not even ten minutes into this thing and we already have our clubhouse leader for "Worst Effort".

Cicero, did you seriously just hit "submit" with that??

No Van, used his "brain" first.

I weep for the future of our country if he's an indication of the next generations best & brightest.

[DMike316]

I bet after she got the boot from the DMV she went outside and walked slowly across the street right in front of a moving vehicle.

[Van]

D Mike, no such luck.

What she did do however was to hoof it directly into the largest store in that little strip mall, which happened to be a discount furniture store.

As I was pulling away on my bike I could see her through the glass doors of the furniture store and even through my full face helmet, my ear plugs, the sound of my bike's motor and the closed glass doors of the furniture place I could still hear her yelling into her cell phone.

The wild arm gestures she kept making were just the icing on the cake. She wasn't budging either, even though there were two little shopkeepers frantically gesturing to her to take it outside their store.

Truly...

...One Shining Moment.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I haven't seen a black woman as happy as you since I ate pancakes.

[Van]

FIVE WORDS, Mgo!!!

Just five. Gotta limit it to five.

(T'were still funny though, and exceptionally mean spirited. How'd you get this way anyway, being so young and all?? :-) )

[Terry in Crapchester]

Can't speak for all black women, but here's five words I never want to say to my wife, at least not without a HUGE running start:

"Honey, I lost my job."

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I used to be in sales.

[Y2K]

We can't genetically alter color?

[Cicero]

Please, go back to Africa?

Okay, we're not even ten minutes into this thing and we already have our clubhouse leader for "Worst Effort".

Cicero, did you seriously just hit "submit" with that??

No Van, used his "brain" first.

I weep for the future of our country if he's an indication of the next generations best & brightest.

Yeah, I am the only one that actually submits a response and your cunty ass gets all pissy.

[Mikey]

Van, take your pissy cunty ass outside and STFU.

[Van]

1.I 2.used 3.to 4.be 5.in 6.sales.

Five, Mgo.

1...2...3...4...5!


Terry, considering it's your wife (and your particular, errr, penchant... :-)), what about:


"Huge tits? So? Huge ass! "


( <-----Doesn't count as a word.)

[Terry in Crapchester]

Terry, considering it's your wife (and your particular, errr, penchant... :-)), what about:


"Huge tits? So? Huge ass! "


( <-----Doesn't count as a word.)

Funny, but I don't think that would piss off my wife as much as the five words I strung together. But that's just her.

[Van]

Van, take your pissy cunty ass outside and STFU.

"Ohhhhh nooooo you DIDN'T!!! You did NOT just tell ME to STFU!!!"

Sin,
Van


Now seriously, do you really think IB could have finished her story....ANY story....in just FIVE words? No, didn't think so.

Mace

Still, I'd like her to answer the question as to what those five words are? Also, why are those five words okay to use on a black chick as long as they're named Chocolate or Ebony?

[Van]

Terry, considering it's your wife (and your particular, errr, penchant... :-)), what about:


"Huge tits? So? Huge ass! "


( <-----Doesn't count as a word.)

Funny, but I don't think that would piss off my wife as much as the five words I strung together. But that's just her.

You've been working too long anyway. So what if you lost your job? It's about time she takes care of YOU for once, right?

Besides, she should already count her lucky stars since she's already that rarest of black women: A black woman who's married to a guy who actually has a real job!

~bada bing~

[Moving Sale]

LOL!!!

TVO, you're such a pissy little vagina.

You start a pissy little vagina thread and I'm the PLV? Is your brain always on off or is it only off when you are posting?

[Van]

"PLV", I like that!

There ya' go, TVO. From now on (well, at least until next week or whenever, when we're best buds again... :wink:), instead of TVO I'll just call you PLV.

Perfect.

Even better, you'll be needing a new avatar to go with the new nic. You're a fairly creative dude though so I trust you'll come up with something good.

Maybe something Asian, and diabetic?

[Moving Sale]

Can ya hook a Brother up?

[Van]

Dude, just grab a camera and roll over and start shooting nether region pics of your latest SLO bar hopping conquest...

Do the lipstick inscription proof thing again too.

"PLV...Yep, he is what he eats!"

[Mister Bushice]

You start a pissy little vagina thread and I'm the PLV? Is your brain always on off or is it only off when you are posting?

This thread was starting to beocme entertaining until your bleeding little cunt of a post started leaking pus. You are forum death just like risa.

The DMV getting over on an obnoxious fat black woman with the assitance of a vietnamese lady is funny shit.

FYI - Don't test drive the sofas across the street, dude, unless you like the smell of french fries dipped in ass on your clothes.

[tough love]

I saw you on Maury.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

1.I 2.used 3.to 4.be 5.in 6.sales.

Five, Mgo.

1...2...3...4...5!

No van, I was responding to your question.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

1.I 2.used 3.to 4.be 5.in 6.sales.

Five, Mgo.

1...2...3...4...5!

No van, I was responding to your question.

That's 8 words, not 5.

:D

[Van]

Mgo, I'm still in sales so yep, good answer.

[Risa]

I wasn't gonna click on this thread, and I hadn't, because your name was attached and I figured it would be something the rest would get a kick out of, but that I wouldn't get. But I needed a break from Mexicans doing the Protesting Americans Won't Do.

"Huge tits? So? Huge ass! "

That's also part of the story of January (as well as August and 2 weeks ago) so funny you should mention that, because I'd forgotten about that part of the

Words You Must Never Utter


storyline. They just aren't within the phrase itself.


You know this one. We talked about it. A very, very long time ago. :?

[Risa]

Can't speak for all black women, but here's five words I never want to say to my wife, at least not without a HUGE running start:

"Honey, I lost my job."

That's cute.

Except I was gonna get serious, and make a comment
about that, and how most black women would LOVE to
have a man who has a job instead of doing
everything themselves while he looks and
is either legitimately kept out of the workforce...
or

but i'm not gonna say, because that would be
anti-black male. :? and we all know, no one's
gonna support them except us. even when they
hate us, don't respect us, etc etc.

but i've said too much already.

She ain't gonna hate you for losing your job.
Shit happens. That's where being a Strong Woman
comes in She will have your back, even if it
means putting some whip marks in it.

do you get keloids? :twisted:

[Risa]

I used to be in sales.

rozy? or mvscal?

[Van]

Annie, would you just quit dancing around the subject and tell us what the five word phrase is? And...why is okay to say it if the chick is named Ebony or Chocolate?