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socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:20 am

My son turns 14 Sunday. He's getting a rock from me for pulling the second semester swan dive on his progress report. It'll give him something to do besides homework.

But aside from the rock and a swift kick in the ass, what might you get the 14 y.o. who already has an iPod Mini, a Fender Strat, and his old man's knack for procrastinating and disorganization.

Phoenix Rob, your thoughts?

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:24 am

socal wrote: a Fender Strat

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:45 am

He seems like he might need some guidance. Be strong socal.
Tough love.

Maybe some understanding. Teach him to respect what has been given to him out of love.

Hook the little ungrateful bastard up, you SoCal fag.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:25 am

age 14 ain't unique, jst another b-day. get him a cake, buy him a video game, steer clear of his friends on the day.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 7:54 am

take him to a fucking dodgers game!

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:01 am

Go get one of those radio operated model planes with the gas motor, You and your son go to the air field and fly it

Ang · Post by **Ang** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:22 am

When you figure it out, please let me know! My son will be 14 in 4 months, has the same toys and the same swan dive with grades.

I think at this point, they need a good kick in the ass...but for a birthday anything involving a few friends and some music would be good :) I think we are going to a baseball game or a road trip nearby for our son's birthday and just take him and friends and stand by out of the way..but it's in summer when there is no school so that's easier.

I think kids that age are naturally just sort of growing away from parents, but still like that parental attention for special things. We force our kid to go places with us for special things, and he says he hates it...and then says later that he really liked it but please don't tell anyone he really liked it. So don't be afraid to just be goofy and take him somewhere and have some fun!

13-14 is a hard age. They are so ready to grow up and are there in many ways, but not enough to really have their feet under them like later in teen years.

good luck!

tough love · Post by **tough love** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 10:52 am

Drugs.

Options:
Boot Camp
Buy Off his teachers.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 1:38 pm

As a teacher of 14-year-olds (9th grade biology), I can attest that the swandive in grades and attitude is pretty common, but by no means universal. The kids are still trying to get the hang of high school, which is a completely different set of rules and expectations from junior/middle school (think of it as analogous to freshman year in college).

Teachers also pull their hair out trying to get these kids to do their homework (and do a quality job), study, focus in class, etc.

My suggestion is to get a hold of your son's teachers and communicate fairly regularly so that you guys can present a united front. Kids like to play parents and teachers against each other, and that strategy gets shot to hell when the kids realize that "uh oh, Mom and Dad have been talking to my teachers and know the real story..." Ask the teachers to call or e-mail you whenever your son doesn't do homework, admits to not studying, bombs a quiz/test, etc. Ask the teachers to post assignments on a website so you can see what's been assigned, when quizzes/tests are, etc. I do that and the parents in my district love it.

Teachers live for parents who are involved and help hold the kids accountable. Any teacher who gives you anything other than full cooperation in becoming a team with you in educating your son should be shitcanned.

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 4:06 pm

Thanks for the tips.

BTW, Screw Michigan, we're going to the Freeway Series game tonight, a gift from my sister. I'm a cheap bastard.

TTB, he's got an amp. Not one with so many dials, of course.

Chowd, you sick fuck.

Ang, the awkwardness of this age is tough. You're dead-on with the "hates-it-loves-it-later" scenarios.

Music's been done. Video games are out until May or June.

MtLB, I've been in contact with his teachers, and I am one. I think we have a handle on that part for the time being. He's an eighth grader with an acute case of "senioritis". He's just struggling with his newfound "free time", time when he's not under mom and dad's thumb, when he chooses to play games and not hit the books. He believes he can leave things, like his independent lab project and a research report until the last minute.

The one class he's nails in is Algebra. He's able to analyze and solve puzzles pretty well.

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 5:49 pm

Mace,

The boy had a similar drop earlier this year then finished the semester with a flurry to avoid his first C.

Then this week the progress report for the second trimester: two D's! Missing assignments. Blah, blah, blah. They're C's now but he's on thin ice.

Buh bye soccer if'n he can't finish his two assignments this weekend.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:53 pm

Boys of that age usually respond well to that kind of technique. Seeing their friends having fun when they can't and yet being able to actually do something (like passing tests and doing homework) so they can join in is a great motivator.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 8:59 pm

It's nice to hear some parents with the same problem. My 8th grader will be 14 in July. Always been pretty much an A student but now pulling B's and C's on his progress report...missing homework etc. It's like he just doesn't give a shit anymore.

Here's the ultimate story of unfathomable procrastination:

He's in the concert band as well as the jazz band, which is an after school on Friday thing. First trombone in each, and our music program always wins top honors in every competition. They have an annual trip scheduled for Magic Mountain next week, which is the big competition every year. The teacher passed out permission slips on Friday the 17th and they were supposed to be in on Thursday the 23rd. But...like everything else that gets passed out in that class, we never saw it. My wife volunteers every Thursday, selling snacks out the auditorium's ticket booth to raise funds for the trips. The band teacher stops by with a permision slip and asks if we had gotten one. It turns out that the idiot kid's name has been on the chalk board and she has asked him for it every day for a fucking week.

His excuse is that he "just keeps forgetting". :?
I ask him what he was planning on doing when the trip came around and he didn't have a permission slip, and the answer is the usual "I don't know". I was going to keep him home from the trip, but they've already reserved a room for him and a place on the bus. I think I need a fuckin' 2 x 4.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 9:26 pm

I coached a 14,15 and 16 year old HS basketball team for a few years back in the day. After the first couple of weeks they got a little casual about showing up on time for practice. Instituted a rule that for every minute any player was late without a written note why, the rest of the team ran 10 sprints while said player stood on the side and watched them run.

Only had to enforce it once. :)

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:41 pm

Mikey wrote:It's nice to hear some parents with the same problem. My 8th grader will be 14 in July. Always been pretty much an A student but now pulling B's and C's on his progress report...missing homework etc. It's like he just doesn't give a shit anymore.

Here's the ultimate story of unfathomable procrastination:

He's in the concert band as well as the jazz band, which is an after school on Friday thing. First trombone in each, and our music program always wins top honors in every competition. They have an annual trip scheduled for Magic Mountain next week, which is the big competition every year. The teacher passed out permission slips on Friday the 17th and they were supposed to be in on Thursday the 23rd. But...like everything else that gets passed out in that class, we never saw it. My wife volunteers every Thursday, selling snacks out the auditorium's ticket booth to raise funds for the trips. The band teacher stops by with a permision slip and asks if we had gotten one. It turns out that the idiot kid's name has been on the chalk board and she has asked him for it every day for a fucking week.

His excuse is that he "just keeps forgetting". :?
I ask him what he was planning on doing when the trip came around and he didn't have a permission slip, and the answer is the usual "I don't know". I was going to keep him home from the trip, but they've already reserved a room for him and a place on the bus. I think I need a fuckin' 2 x 4.

[tearsjerrytears]BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHA!!![/tearsjerrytears]

Mikey,

We seem to be in some strange parallel universe.

Yesterday was the school's annual "Dad's Donut Day", a time we dads can visit the school, take a family Polaroid in front of a giant donut, eat a donut, throw back some coffee, listen to the school's jazz band play a few numbers, hang out on the playground, then go into the classroom for a few minutes. This was the ninth consecutive year and the last one for the boy as he's moving on to high school next year.

After donuts we sat in the auditorium and listened to the jazz band perform. He was in jazz band up until this year when he decided to give it up because it conflicted with sports. He has music as an elective but it wasn't the same. And it was obvious to anyone seeing him slumped in his chair that he was missing it. He has friends in the band and whatnot.

When the band finished playing we helped bring equipment back to the classroom. I walk in there and deliver part of the drum set, start bullshitting with one of the dad's looking about the room when...I see my kid's name on the board. Something about no handbook paper signed, no trip to Disneyland.

"Hey, boy. What's up with that Disneyland thing? What do you need a signature for?"

He smiles sheepishly. "Uh, the handbook."

"When was it due?" I'm thinking in the last week or so. I mean he has an A in this class.

"Uhh...September."

Me. <-----------Incredulous. It occurs to me that this handbook is the packet of information he got the first day of class. His name had been gathering dust since September 10th.

"Do you have the handbook with you?"

"Yes."

"Take it out of your backpack."

He hesitated for a moment. There was a look on his face that said you mean I can take this piece of paper out of my binder, fill it out, have my Dad sign it, turn it in to my teacher, then have my name taken off the board?

"Just take it out."

He takes out the handbook, tears out the last page, and hands it to me. I sign it. He fills out the name, rank, and serial number. He hands it to his teacher. She laughs and says, "This is a momentous occasion, Little Socal. Do you want to take your name off the board?"

He grabs the eraser and wipes the whiteboard clean.

Anyway, Mikey, I just had the boy read about your son's dilly-dallying ways. As he was reading it he asks, "Is this guy's kid like my evil twin?"

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:49 pm

Simple...

He's 14, and his grades are slipping?

Get him this...

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:50 pm

I think they're all like the Boys from Brazil or something.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 4:56 am

Toddowen wrote:
chowd103 wrote:He seems like he might need some guidance. Be strong socal.
Tough love.

Maybe some understanding. Teach him to respect what has been given to him out of love.

I swear to fucking god that your's is perhaps the most pathetic advice I've ever seen offered by an alleged parent.

Oh I'm a Terrible parent. Look at how you turned out.
Still draw faces on your socks, wear 'em on your hands and have drunken conversations, you 1/2 wit. Still an attentention-craved bipolar retard.

I'm not proud of you. Not at all, Toddy. I'm ashamed of you.

You never acted like a son to me.

None of my tools are going to you when I pass on, you damn fool. Your brother and cousin Shemp get 'em all. Even the table saw. :x

Now apologize for fucking up socal's thread, you ingrate.

You are hereby dismissed.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:20 am

socal wrote:My son turns 14 Sunday. He's getting a rock from me for pulling the second semester swan dive on his progress report. It'll give him something to do besides homework.

But aside from the rock and a swift kick in the ass, what might you get the 14 y.o. who already has an iPod Mini, a Fender Strat, and his old man's knack for procrastinating and disorganization.

Phoenix Rob, your thoughts?

ROLODEX® Electronics Touch-Screen Organizer $14.95

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:41 am

chowd103 wrote:
Tardowen wrote:
chowd103 wrote:He seems like he might need some guidance. Be strong socal.
Tough love.

Maybe some understanding. Teach him to respect what has been given to him out of love.

I swear to fucking god that your's is perhaps the most pathetic advice I've ever seen offered by an alleged parent.

Oh I'm a Terrible parent. Look at how you turned out.
Still draw faces on your socks, wear 'em on your hands and have drunken conversations, you 1/2 wit. Still an attentention-craved bipolar retard.

I'm not proud of you. Not at all, Toddy. I'm ashamed of you.

You never acted like a son to me.

None of my tools are going to you when I pass on, you damn fool. Your brother and cousin Shemp get 'em all. Even the table saw. :x

Now apologize for fucking up socal's thread, you ingrate.

You are hereby dismissed.

Don't even bother responding to this shit troll. He has absolutely no credibility whatsoever.

Shit troll = ignore/don't feed it

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:53 am

Atomic Punk wrote:
chowd103 wrote:
Tardowen wrote: I swear to fucking god that your's is perhaps the most pathetic advice I've ever seen offered by an alleged parent.

Oh I'm a Terrible parent. Look at how you turned out.
Still draw faces on your socks, wear 'em on your hands and have drunken conversations, you 1/2 wit. Still an attentention-craved bipolar retard.

I'm not proud of you. Not at all, Toddy. I'm ashamed of you.

You never acted like a son to me.

None of my tools are going to you when I pass on, you damn fool. Your brother and cousin Shemp get 'em all. Even the table saw. :x

Now apologize for fucking up socal's thread, you ingrate.

You are hereby dismissed.
Don't even bother responding to this shit troll. He has absolutely no credibility whatsoever.

Shit troll = ignore/don't feed it

Oh.

You mean if I stop feeding it, it dies?

Cool.

Does his family collect?

Leagally, he's my son.

:ashamed:
Do I get any insurance money?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:56 am

chowd103 wrote: Do I get any insurance money?

Yes, you collect 1/10th of his NAV. This equates to right about nothing.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:56 am

chowd103 wrote: :ashamed:
Do I get any insurance money?

Not only no insurance money, you have to pay for the funeral and all the food at the wake afterwards.

chowd103 · Post by **chowd103** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:11 am

Food @ Toddy's wake seems like such a waste.

Why don't we just chip in and buy some fireworks?

tough love · Post by **tough love** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 11:37 am

Geeez, I hope that "Pay Off his teachers" option wasn't out of line, what with socal being a teacher and all.

Th · Post by Th » Sun Apr 02, 2006 12:25 pm

A little lesson/introduction to a solid work ethic?

socal · Post by **socal** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 2:37 pm

^^^I was thinking more of a push mower with a really dull blade. Either that or a pair of scissors.

TL, I'm passing the hat. Could ya help a teacher help some teachers out?

tough love · Post by **tough love** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 5:15 pm

^
Can do...Always willing to help out the salt of the earth.

By me; dedicated teachers are a part of the unsung heroes of this world.

Huge Props go out to your vocation.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 6:03 pm

TL, as you lay your rose petals before SoCal's anointed footy paws just keep in mind that while many a teacher might have the altruism market cornered our boy SoCal here is in fact only in it for all the free Teen Ass...

socal · Post by **socal** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:03 pm

Van,

Don't confuse me with RC. You remember RC dontcha? That drug-addled, middle school trolling, basketball pundit, andfellow Lakers fan who did time in L.A. County? The one who MacGuyvered his way over the razor wire using only a plastic spork, earwax, and a bedsheet from the hospital ward? The one who carjacked Dinsdale and picked you up on the side of the road on your way to the Alamo?
.
.
.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Apr 02, 2006 7:14 pm

Yes, I remember him, and I miss him, and I miss you and he and our shared three roadies to the Piggly Wiggly to pick up on underage fat chix.

Thing is, he and I, I and he...we've moved on.

You...you...became a school teacher. Just couldn't give up the underage fat chix fetish, I suppose.

Rock on, my brother of another blubber.

socal · Post by **socal** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:36 am

Van Lobo wrote:
I'll never forget the day
We motored stately into big L.A.
The lights of the city put settlin'
Down in my brain
Though it's only been a month or so
That old car's buggin' us to go
We've gotta get away and get back on
The road again

:P

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Apr 03, 2006 4:33 am

Damn...

~snuffles~

All this reminiscing...

I miss R.C. I miss his crazed meth addled episodes at the coin op carwash.

SoCal...

Fuck...SoCal...

Mr Steady, that guy. We could always count on SoCal. Dude was never late, and he always brought the Krispy Kremes. Fucker used to always bogart the best ones though. The box would always be rifled through by the time he showed up. SoCal was never late, no, but he always looked like he came straight from a lesbian porn shoot.

One thing I bet you guys never knew about SoCal...

Dude is a dead eye with a shotgun. You never saw a guy as happy as SoCal when he'd sit up on his favorite San Diego Freeway overpass. He'd usually choose the main LAX exit.

"Loads of unsuspecting Slants! Fuckabuncha Charlie!", he'd say with an evil grin, flashing back to a war he read about a couple times.

SoCal held the dominion, in his mental nether world.

Anyway, here'd come a minivan taxi full of camera toten "Charlie", departing from the various strip joints near their hotels by the airport. Socal would lay down by the mesh fencing of the overpass, the ubiquitous six pack of Yoohoo at his side, readying his tripod.

"Dude, why don't you use a regular rifle, like every other mentally deranged random sniper?"

"There's no aesthetic in that. Ever notice with the shotgun blast the way the windshields turn into a galaxy of random tendrils and beautiful little galaxies? Shit makes my dick hard. You can't buy that kind of pleasure."

"Uhhh, okay. I think I'll leave now."

"Pussy. Okay, later..."

Fucken' good times.

tough love · Post by **tough love** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:44 am

Van Wrote:
TL, as you lay your rose petals before SoCal's annointed footy paws just keep in mind that while many a teacher might have the altruism market cornered our boy SoCal here is in fact only in it for all the free Teen Ass...

What about Mike the Lab Rat?
I'm picturing Samuel L. Jackson in Formula 51.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 2:54 am

socal wrote:This was the ninth consecutive year and the last one for the boy as he's moving on to high school next year.

Which grade did he repeat? :)

socal · Post by **socal** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:56 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:
socal wrote:This was the ninth consecutive year and the last one for the boy as he's moving on to high school next year.
Which grade did he repeat? :)

He's at a K-8.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 2:44 pm

It's really quite simple: Buy him a banjo.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:20 pm

And a cordless drill.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 4:14 pm

Holy smokes, some creative writing up in this bitch.

RACK Vannar.

quacker backer · Post by **quacker backer** » Tue Apr 04, 2006 4:47 pm

Dins
who says "holy smokes" anymore???
did you move to Molalla or something?

T1B

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