South Korea

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:22 am

I arrived on my new 'home' soil last Friday evening. Intend to live here for 2 years ...... maybe more. We'll see. Wagon has set the over/under at 90 days. haha

First order of business at the airport in Inchon was to exchange some American green into Korean won. One US dollar will get you about 940 korean won. So just roughly, if you want to buy something that would cost $10 you'd fork over about 10,000 won. Walking around a shop at the Inchon airport I was immediately struck by the number of zeros behind the listed price for each item. This book costs 8,500 won, that bag costs 11,000 won, this goes for 10,000 won.....and so on. Hey, it might be time to update your currency system and LOSE a few of the zeros, slants. But, what the hell does a yankee know...?

My wife's brother picked us up at the airport. His name is Yong Mun. He has an older brother who lives in Houston, and his name is Yong Un. There is yet another brother who I will meet later, and I fully expect his name to be Yong Yun ..... but I dunno. Sort of the George Foreman, all five of my sons are George, sort of deal, I guess. Yong Mun is a sweet guy. My wife tells me his is the nicest of her four siblings. When he first saw me at the airport he gave me a VERY warm handshake. Not a nutcracker handshake, but a warm..... e x t e n d e d ...... shake, ya know...? Wouldn't let go of my hand. Feeling me up. Looking in my eyes. Warm. Swear the man had a mind to kiss me on the lips. But....naaaah. Seriously, a VERY nice man.

Drove about an hr to Yong Mun's 'house'.....where my wife and I have been staying for the past few days until our apartment is ready later this week. Very gracious of him to let us stay in their 'house'. BUT, a house it is not. It is a small 2 bedroom apartment. Most all folks live in apartments here in S. Korea. Land is scarce, and only the very wealthy can afford to purchase land to put a house on. You'll drive (that's another story) for a while and see nothing but beautiful hills and low mountains, and then arrive on a few square mile area where there are 20 to 30 20-or-so story apartment buildings. So what you've got is pockets of VERY dense population. We arrived at Yong Mun's apartment building complex fairly late, around 11:00, and we were flat SCREWED on finding a parking spot. None to be found. Cars parked slanted EVERY damn direction all over the friggin' lot. Cars boxed in, and what not. Yong Mun shrugged it off, obviously having seen it all many times before. Said if you don't get home by 6 or 7 o'clock at night you simply won't get a place to park your car that night. I laughed. He drove us up to the door of the building, weaving in and out and around cars placed in all different directions. Yong Mun, my wife, and I unloaded our many bags from the car, and Mrs Yong Mun then came out to take the car 'somewhere' to park it for the night. Yong Mun helped us carry the bags to his 5th floor apartment, and his wife came back from parking the car somewhere about 30 minutes later, sweat on her forehead. haha
Most peeps take the train system around Korea, and it didn't take me long to see why.

I had serious jet lag, so I slept until 6pm the next day (Saturday). My wife, Yong Mun, and his wife went out around 3:00 to do a few errands, and she woke me long enough to inform me that they'd be back later, but that Yong Mun's son, Ye Chan, was in the living room playing some computer games. If I 'needed' anything I was supposed to get help from him. At 6:00 I came out of the bedroom and walked into the kitchen to see about a cup of coffee. Immediately, I felt the laser eyes of Ye Chan on me. Kid was dialed in on EVERY move I made. Appeared that the sight of a yankee rustling around in his kitchen had him shaken just a bit. haha He's 11 yrs old, but that's actually 10, because kids are considered to be one yr old at birth in Korea. Smart boy, Ye Chan is. He approached me, introduced himself to me, saying, "I am Kwon Ye Chan". Last name first in Korea. Ye Chan helped me make some coffee, got me some yogurt and toast to eat, and then showed me how to dispose of my garbage. Yes, 4 separate bags to place garbage in. One for plastic, one for light paper, one for heavy paper (newspaper or cardboard), and one for food. You can't just slop everything into one bag like you can in the good ol' US of A.

After I ate, Ye Chan took me across the street to a NICE park to place some soccer with him. He took a liking to me, and just kept on rambling on and on and on to me in Korea lingo. I'd just sort of nod, smile, and say "yeah? really? is that right?" And on and on he'd prattle about who knows what. Lovely park it is. Five nice clay tennis courts, five clay badminton courts, a nice skate park, a track, a heavily wooded walking hill, with many trails, and a VERY nice soccer field with field turf. Folks all over the area, doing their thing. Saw a sign at the entrance area and could make out that it was built in 2002. Still looks new. Couldn't help but think of my 'hometown' of Houston, and wondered how long a beautiful public park of this sort would last there before the vandals tore it all to shit. Hey, the people here are not interested in tearing their shit up. Refreshing.

I must say, however, that I don't know if there is a shower curtain to be found in Korea. The Koreans are technologically AHEAD of the US in some ways (I'll discuss another time), but they are strangely VERY far behind in bathroom ways. ha
Yong Mun's shower tub has no curtain, and the shower head is a hand-held job. Yeah, water flies EVERYDAMN where, and..... that's how it's supposed to be. There is a set of rubber flip-flops at the entrance to the bathroom, and you are to put them on whenever you go in the bathroom, because there is routinely water on the floor, ..... and everywhere else too.
I don't think I'll get comfortable with this.
Hand-held shower head sprays water, flushing up into Yong Mun's Chatahoochie Canal, and all manner of unimaginable matter is sprayed up into the room, on the mirror, the toilet seat, the floor, .... and the sink where I brush my teeth.

:?

Mix in a shower curtain, Ping...?

More later.

Peace to all, and may God bless the US of A.

Greatest land on the face of the earth.

Out..............

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:05 am

Been there, done that.

God Bless, the USA.

You go, Pop.

Rip City

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:09 am

No more 9:07 chat?

Van Plowboy · Post by **Van Plowboy** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:12 am

So, we're all dying to know...

...what does dog taste like?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:19 am

poptart wrote:I arrived on my new 'home' soil last Friday evening. Intend to live here for 2 years ...... maybe more. We'll see. Wagon has set the over/under at 90 days. haha

Wait til you go out and have to take a shit in a public restaurant...and have to squat in order to do it. I've been to Taiwan and spent seven unholy days there.

I'm revising the Over/Under estimate to 45 days.

Don't drink the fucking water, 'tart.

The Assassin · Post by **The Assassin** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:30 am

What time will the Raider games come on there?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:35 am

The Assassin wrote:What time will the Raider games come on there?

Monday morning at 3.00am...better set your alarm.

The Assassin · Post by **The Assassin** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:29 am

War Wagon wrote:
The Assassin wrote:What time will the Raider games come on there?
Monday morning at 3.00am...better set your alarm.

yikes!

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 3:32 am

You got it, Wagon.
3:00 a.m Monday morning for home 'dud games on the tube here.
NFL football will be on here.
MLB is on every day, and NBA playoff games have been on too.
They're shown through ESPN, TNT, FSN, or whatever, feed, BUT, the commentary is all done by Korean announcers.
It's a trip.

An ya ha so yu kee Derek JE-tar. We ku nim zu be gool JE-tar. Derek JE-tar suk sukee weeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooo..........

Btw, faggotry is worldwide, friends.
Korean TV ratings must hit the roof whenever a gooked-up metrosexual appears, 'cuz they are ALL over the place.
TV here is also all about the COLOR and the gayity.
Bright orange, pink, lime green all over the sets, and the people.
The more gaudy, the better.
Me thinks that Korea is going through the equivalent of the United States' '70s.
Chuck Baris, Rip Taylor, Chuck Nelson Reilly.
C'mon down.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:14 am

'tart, you may be in Korea for a good reason, but I don't have to rikey it.

Back away from sushi table, head to the nearest airport, and get your ass back where it belongs.

This won't work.

How the fuck come you didn't ask your buds before making such a rash decision?

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:21 am

How the fuck come you didn't ask your buds before making such a rash decision?

Now, Whitey... you haven't made any rash decisions lately?

Rip City

trev · Post by **trev** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:30 am

WTH are you doing in Korea?

I MISSED THE MEMO.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 4:53 am

Luther wrote:
How the fuck come you didn't ask your buds before making such a rash decision?
Now, Whitey... you haven't made any rash decisions lately?

Whitey?

I've told you before, my friends around here call me Wags...and you can go fuck yourself. I won't be buying you any Depends when you're down and out should you beg to differ.

Capiche?

As for making rash decisions, moving to Korea hasn't been one of them.

How's about you step the fuck off while I talk to my boy 'tart?

That'd be a good idea, you spoiled little brat. I won't suck up to you like most will, and that must drive you crazy.

Luther posted..pant, pant...let's sticky this sumbitch.

Fuck off, asshole.

And don't send me any PM's.

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 5:39 am

trev wrote:WTH are you doing in Korea?

I MISSED THE MEMO.

2nd

Be safe my brother.

Side note: Yeah pop, the kids out there dress crazy as mad FUCK-and its all NEON shit as far as the slant eye can see.

Theres a ton of donut shop/dry cleaner jokes to be told, but im too damn tired. :D

Take care pop, and keep us updated.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 5:43 am

What trev said ... what are you doing in Korea, pop?

RACK the color commentary of the airport and your digs.

Btw, I wouldn't worry too much about the shower curtain. It's the curtain rod that's important, especially toward the end of the NFL season when you're a Raider Fan, no matter what country you're in. :wink:

With the World Cup coming up, its' going to be a big party there in about a month or so. When S. Korea beat Spain in the quarterfinals (I believe it was) of the 2002 WC, one million people were out in the streets of Seoul celebrating ... with no major incidents.

Be safe, bro, and keep on keepin' on with the updates.

M2 · Post by M2 » Wed Apr 26, 2006 5:56 am

War Wagon wrote:
The Assassin wrote:What time will the Raider games come on there?
Monday morning at 3.00am...better set your alarm.

This is the quintessential reason I know America is surrounded by tards within.

War remedial wagon...

Can you see where you may have had a small brain fart again?

Let me help you out... I'm cool like that.

#32 lives in Vegas... he really doesn't have to set his fuckin' alarm for 3 am... ever!

...if he wants to watch a Raider game ever... while he's in the states!

PS... Good luck in a very cool culture, tart!

Just get outta the way when they drive.

m2

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 7:04 am

Sounds cool 'tart. How are they taking to a 7 ft. tall tennis player so far? I've only been there once for a 4 hour layover to refuel (we went there to spend money out in town in Osan which is south of you).

I don't know that I'd want to live there for more than a few months but at least you have family there. So that's cool. You need to start posting pics of the area as it is rare when SS or Luth post pics of their travels.

I think you'll like playing on clay courts also. It's pretty fun and is easier on your knees if I remember correctly.

Cool deal and keep the stories flowing!

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 12:51 pm

trev wrote:WTH are you doing in Korea?

Poptart got ran. Clear out of the fucking US of A. I have monumental BODE.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Wed Apr 26, 2006 1:02 pm

Poptart will have a gang of new posters here in short order, please excuse their grammar (as their english will be better than most of the tards here).

Good luck pop and keep us tuned in.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 2:08 pm

I lived in South Korea for 2 years. Went to Kindergarten and 1st Grade over there. I was a little to young to remember a lot of stuff, but my father said he enjoyed his time over there and that the people were extremely nice.

Pop,

Dont drink the water and dont eat the chicken. Its either dog or rat.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:56 pm

To answer the why question.

Can we talk...?

I'm a fugitive.

Canada, Mexico...?

Too predictable.

Well, might have something to do with family, job, or personal business and interests.

But seriously, friends.
Very important things going on here.

You'll read it all when my memoirs come out.

I'm currently staying in an apartment complex that must be housing 15, 20, 30,000 people??, I dunno.
It is a LOT, that is for sure.
You'd think that an occassional stray dog or cat would be seen.
None.

Thanks for the idea, TWiS. :wink:

8:56 a.m thursday, and I am OUT............

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:58 pm

dude you're like in the future!

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:43 am

trev wrote:WTH are you doing in Korea?

I MISSED THE MEMO.

You missed more than a memo:

Unofficial US Envoy to South Korea expected to shake things up.

Mon Apr 24, 12:54 AM ET

SEOUL (Reuters) -

In a surprise arrival to this east Asian Nation Poptart, an American, held a news conference today to outline his plans to run Kim Jong-il, the current leader of the DPRK.
ADVERTISEMENT

"No big deal really" Says Poptart, formerly of Houston, Texas. "We have a Saturday evening chat scheduled for 9:07 cst. Provided Mr il shows up, He'll be run".

Kim Jong-il has raised tensions throughout Southeast Asia with an aggressive missile development program and a history of unpredictable behavior towards the west.

"I don't really see a problem here" Poptart said, when asked how he would deal with the Leader of North Korea "I've run bigger tards than him without even trying hard"

"Poptart has a well known history of "running" "Tards", which is internetspeak for getting rid of stupid people "Mr. il certainly fits that profile" Poptart told Reuters by telephone.

As a recent US transplant, there has been somewhat of an adjustment for Poptart in moving from Southern Texas to South Korea. When asked what he saw as the biggest difference so far, Poptart said "So Far the biggest difference I've seen is that the Petcos in the US don't have menus".

"But now I know what they mean here by the slogan "It's where the pets go"" He added wryly.

When asked what he thought he would missed the most in moving from the US to South Korea, Poptart hesitated, then said "I believe that would be the letter 'L' ".

More on this story as it develops.

internet correspondent T. Juan Bord contributed to this report.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:44 am

rack bushy!

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:46 am

m2 wrote:
War Wagon wrote:
The Assassin wrote:What time will the Raider games come on there?
Monday morning at 3.00am...better set your alarm.
This is the quintessential reason I know America is surrounded by tards within.

War remedial wagon...

Can you see where you may have had a small brain fart again?

Let me help you out... I'm cool like that.

#32 lives in Vegas... he really doesn't have to set his fuckin' alarm for 3 am... ever!

...if he wants to watch a Raider game ever... while he's in the states!

Went right over your dazed and confused head, I see.

Not that I'm surprised.

I'd explain it to you, but you probably wouldn't get that either.

It might have had something to do with Assasin learning about time zones and not asking stupid questions.

frigging idiot.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:48 am

Mister Bushice wrote:
Kim Jong-il has raised tensions throughout Southeast Asia with an aggressive missile development program and a history of unpredictable behavior towards the west.

Good thing their missile guidance systems will be only a few thousand miles off.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 1:09 am

RACK Bushice.

I wun Kim Jong-il, 9:07 pm

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:04 am

Hang in there, Pop, you'll be fine. Years from now, you'll be able to tell stories about your stay and you'll appreciate it one way or another.

When I was a freshman in High School we moved to Yokota AFB, Japan. We lived in a paddy house for awhile, and I can still remember the sounds of rats running rampant throughout the piping. I still laugh when I recall my mom screaming when some rat stuck its head up in the terlit.

I remember because it was during the Viet Nam war, the late/great '60s music was on the military based radio station, and I wanted to be back in the US of A.

Rip City

p.s. We had this maid that came once a week and her name was Suzie. I used to have a picture of her and her head was even with the light switch in our shithol...err base housing.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:05 am

hey luth was there a chick on your trip named lili from arizona?

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:09 am

No sir.

Closest to Arizona we had were the two retired prison guards from New Mexico. I asked them if they knew Risa and they just looked at me like,

. haha

There were a couple of ladies with "Overseas Adventure Travel" yellow tags on their carryon luggage, but they ended up going to Africa.

Rip City

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:29 am

ok just wondering cause one of my eharmony matches named lili said she went on about the same trip you mentioned, must have been before you went.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:34 am

jtr wrote: one of my eharmony matches .

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:10 am

I know what it feels like to be a hot chick.
I walk outside and I feel the eyes of Asian on me.
Stare at me, Ping...?
I don't think my fly has been open.
Well, maybe down a tad after an afternoon squirt yesterday.
But definitely NOT gaping.

Walking down a street in Suwon yesterday, mom and 3 yr old cutie approach.
3 yr old weeble wobbles a few strides ahead of mommy, showing a bright toothy smile.
She then sees .... me ...
Mouth opens, eyes widden, yellow facial skin lightens a shade or 4.
Tucks tail, does a 360, and scampers back to hide safely behind mom's skirt.
.... until dangerous Yeti clears the area.

The Koreans must be the most hyper sumbitches on the face of the earth.
Everything has to be done at warp speed with these folks.
Whatever has to be done should have been done... like .... last Tuesday.
Don't know if it's the overcrowding, if it's genetic, or what, but it's bizzare.
Took a number to wait my turn at the visa office yesterday.
# 255
They were on # 187, so I knew it'd be a while.
Settle in to my seat, slink down a bit, .... rest myself.
Every time a number is called a new ADD sufferer sprints to the counter.
Like a freaking Indy pace car.
As if they'll skip past his number if he doesn't make it to the counter in .07 seconds.
#235 tripped on my outstretched leg when he was called.
"Chill, Yumi", I said under my breath.
Don't think he heard me.
Not sure.

Roofer · Post by **Roofer** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:29 am

Mister Bushice wrote:
When asked what he thought he would missed the most in moving from the US to South Korea, Poptart hesitated, then said "I believe that would be the letter 'L' ".

Fucking hirarious.

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:22 am

If I could rick your rabia, then all is rovely.

Sin,

Us

Rip City

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:27 am

Bwaaaah

Luth made me spill my Kimchi.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri May 05, 2006 12:30 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:When asked what he thought he would missed the most in moving from the US to South Korea, Poptart hesitated, then said "I believe that would be the letter 'L' ".

Top 10 things poptart misses ...... other than the letter 'L'

10 blond hair and blue eyes
09 dryer (as in washer &)
08 inches, feet, yards, miles, ounces, lbs... etc
07 rock and roll
06 real sports*
05 a discernable (round, robust and righteous) American female ass
04 parking spaces
03 chairs
02 forks
01 shower curtains

* The slants televise a sport called Jokball. It's a court game played in an area a bit smaller than a tennis court, and with a net about as high as a tennis net. It's a 6-on-6 game, and rules and procedures are very similar to volleyball except the ball is spiked over the net by KICKING it.

Picture that.

The stud players on TV (prolly in the 4 digit salary range) get their foot up above ear level and then bash the ball downward into the opponents court. I haven't played any Jokball yet, out of fear I'd split my avocodo and drop my almond joys right down on center court.

Perhaps one day (when I'm feelin' spry) I'll get busy with a 2 hr groin stretch session and then ball-up and get after a little Jokball.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri May 05, 2006 1:30 pm

poptart wrote:다만 나가 이 개 타코를 끝낼 하자마자, 나는 너희 모두를 f아gs 달릴 것이다.

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Fri May 05, 2006 1:32 pm

I remember when we lived in Korea. The smell was unbearable at times. Esp when you went into "town." Back in '85 my father had a nice car and you would have thought we were the Rockefellers by the way they would mob the car when we drove thru "town."

Keep on, keepin on, pop.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat May 06, 2006 10:46 am

I asked my wife to tell me what you wrote, Dave, and she said that it said something to the effect of ......

As soon as I finish this dog taco I will run you all.

I laughed my ASS off, and she just gave me a bemused look.

RACK you.

Cicero, yes, odd smells abound.
Smells of days-old garbage, food, dying fish, feces, smoke, rodents, urine, shower-less gooks, etc....
You'll walk along for 30 yds or so and smell nothing unusual....
And then all of a sudden....WOAH..!!
Where'd that come from...?

I went to Kim's Club supermarket Wednesday.
Sort of a Korean Sam's Club, if you will.
An 'everything' store.
Smallish building to be housing EVERYTHING, but.....that's par for the course here.
Too many folks jammed everydamwhere, man.
This ain't Tejas, Toto.
Two pm on Wednesday afternoon and Kim's Club is crawling with people.
Every aisle flooded with slants.
The number of people, you'd think it was Macy's on Christmas Eve.
Strangest phenomenon yet though is the 'aisle barkers' that many stores employ.
Kim's Club is one of 'em.
Think carnival barker and that is essentially what an aisle barker is.
They are positioned at 'bout every other aisle in the mart, CONTINUALLY yelping at the customers to buy something down their aisle.
Surreal, it truly is.
Get your Kotex heeeeee re ... Kotex!! Kotex .. here, here....get your KO-TEX.
Well, the people are eager for work, and if Kim's Club manager offers Ting 4 bones an hr to bark at folks to get the goodies down his aisle, then fine.
I guess the strategy pays off for the store owner, otherwise such barkers wouldn't be employed.
The Koreans are gullible...?
Myself, if I need an item I buy it.
If not, no.
No amount of yappin' is gonna sway me to purchase kimchi if I don't need it.

People slurp and slobber their food here .... on purpose.
Cultural thing.
Lots of noise, and saliva flying around.
Mucho open-mouth chewing.
Sick.
Well, if you slobber up your meal it is a sign that you are enjoying the hell out of it.
If someone fixes you a meal and you don't slurp and slobber it it means the cook blew it.
Around age 5, mom slapped the mouth off my face when I slurped my Campbells.
I'm just not resigned to slurping yet.
Maybe in time I'll fit in.

I'll tell you one thing though.
There are NOT a lot of obese fucks waddling around Korea like there are in the US o' A.
I've been here two weeks and I've seen all of about 5 people who would be considered obese.
Seriously rare to even see an overweight person.
It's the lifestyle (lots of walking) and diet.
Hell, in the States you can't walk outside in public ANYWHERE without catching sight of a handful of fat fucks within 2 minutes time.
Fucking sloppy, spoiled, piggish Americans.
Yep.
Advantage Korea.

10 am weekdays, doorbell rings.
Dry clean pick-up....and delivered back to us the next day, same time.....and CHEAP.
Advantage Korea.

VERY nice walking path running along a stream in downtown Anyang (where I am living).
Nice scenery, nice place.
First time I walked there I was struck by ....... the lack of garbage laying everywhere.
It's essentially litter-free.
Sloppy, spoiled, piggish Americans.
Advantage Korea.

Hey, don't get my wrong.
I ruv America.

T1B

South Korea

South Korea

Re: South Korea