I'm thinking this is around '85 or so, and I'm working at the time, East Precinct. The city has expanded and it now called, Southeast Precinct. Back then we had a nagging prostitute problem hanging around Union Avenue, which is now called MLK or Martin Luther King Blvd. Around Burnside street it is pretty bad. Drunks, whores, whino's, and dopers up the ying yang.
The Sgt.'s grabbed me and asked if I would run a prostitution mission down in the "Lower Burn" area. The only reason they selected me is that I've done it numerous times before, and my Dinsdale dome, and the general old codger type of look made me a believable Joe who'd ask for pussy and be willing to cough cash.
I offered the use of my old Dodge pickup...a beauty...1968, Shortbed, kind of a faded light blue, missing the oil cap cover and the guts to the air filter system. Damn, the thing ran like a raped ape at times...
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[/align]Needless to say the above picture is not my truck. I always could play the part of the pussy paying pud pretty well. I went to the dry cleaners where I frequent and scored a pair of those goofy Texaco or whatever work shirts with the name of "Dwayne" on them, and hung them in off the gun rack in the rear window of my truck. Just baitin'...
I agreed to do the detail for only one day. I told them I could guarantee them at least 4 whore busts, but I wanted a designated uniform car to cuff and book the prostitute. They gave me one of those "memo mates" a mini-tape recorder, so I could record the details of each pinch. Typically if you would rewind the tape and replay it, it would sound like this:
Arrest at 1355 hrs, SE 7th and Ash. Wanda ******* blah blah blah. Agreed to bounce my balls on her chin and blow me down for $25. Transport was Officer ********** *********.
Anyway, at the rollcall briefing I took a fair amount of bullshit from the guys/gals. One guy said his mom would blow me for a ten spot if I could get it hard in the locker room. Cocksucker...I never really liked that pompous prick and him and I had a brief conversation at a later time.
The D.A. has to brief me on the latest elements for probable cause. Yeah, yeah...we have to agree to exchange money for sex...I can't show my love club to prove I'm not a cop. I will have to do something else to prove I'm not a cop to make the deal. Oh, we can lie to the customer, but we cannot expose ourselves etc.
A buddy of mine, states in roll call that he'll bet I don't pinch 5 whores during the 8 hour shift. The bet is fitty bucks. Rookies are looking at me like I'm John Holmes in an undercover outfit. I just say, "You are on."
The Sarge suggests I go down to the Vice unit office and pick up one of those inflatable cocks for the detail tonight. I try to get out of it as I had to use one of them before...disgusting. It was basically a strap on inflatable dildo, with a metal air release valve. It had one of those bulb squeeze things that inflated the D-Dough into the hardness that you wanted. I went and got it, but I kept it under the front seat along with my badge and weapon. Driving out to the whore zone I was thinking, "I went and majored in college for this? I should have my head examined."
My first pickup zone was easy to select. This was the feeding frenzy section of our precinct...SE 7th to SE 9th and Burnside south to about Stark. I remember pulling up and the first gal was Black. I had my Dwayne shirt on, and told her I was an electrician. She didn't contest me even though above my name it said, "Texaco." I whipped around the corner and she asks if I'm a cop.
"I wish I was," I said.
She grabs my right hand and shoves it under her sweater and I'm now touching big ol' milk chocolate titties. "OK" she says, ... She wanted to make money so fast that she didn't contest the situation. Cops can't touch poon or titty...but she took the hand and did it herself against my volition (fvit fvit). She agrees to hum the organ for $30, but I thought I'd sweeten the pot. How about a deal for half and half..."$50" she says and directs me to the old parking structure at the now defunct Sears department store parking structure.
Busted...she went with my designated cover cop.
A bunch of pinches followed but I don't really remember them. The last one in the feeding frenzy zone actually kind of bothered me. Some of the prostitutes are really pretty nice gals, and over the years I had a bunch for snitches. The meth/doper whores were useless as informants, but the average prostitute was actually a bevy of info.
She got in my truck and I could tell she was older...probably a mother...but I couldn't see any signs of drug abuse. Her arms looked alright, the clothes were clean and fresh, her hair was clean. But she was scared to commit to a "deal." I drove around the lower "Burn" area trying to get the probable cause. She just wouldn't agree to exchange sex for moola.
Finally, we are in the basement of the old bowling alley near the Lido Cafe. It is around SE 11 and Morrison or so. She's telling me she got popped for prostitution last week and she's got a kid...blah blah blah. She wants to see my peenie and I'm bullshitting her that she's so clean that she's probably a cop and will bust me for Indecent Exposure and for sure I'll plead guilty instead of fighting it off in court instead of telling my family. Whew. She won't agree to the terms.
Finally I tell her that I'll just drop her off on the street as I spotted some other prostitute who knows me...blah blah. She finally says, "Ok, I'll blow you for $25.
Busted. The war was on. She was biting my hand that was trying to call on the radio for my cover to take her away. We roll out into the bowling alley concrete, it is dark and now 3 fat fucking bowlers come out the door and challenge me.
"You pervert...let her go."
"We'll kick your fucking ass...let her go."
Me: "I'm a cop...can I get a little help here?"
Them: "Sure your a cop...let her go."
I didn't want to, but I had to. I drove that bitch down to the pavement like a bad sack of seed. My cover arrived with a siren or two and the bowling fuckers disappeared like a bad 7-10 split.
The last redeeming pinches had me out near Sandy Blvd. The Parkrose area...102nd and east...Titty bars, and cheap Mexican Restaurants. I popped Sunshine for my 8th pinch about an hour before the shift cut off bet deal. Sunshine was a tall blond with big ol' hooters. I pulled up and she asked what I wanted, and I said, "I'm an electrician, I've got 50 bucks and I want head and a buck-a-roo ride." She laughed, leaned into my truck and grabbed my crotch...and miraciously I had just placed the thunder dong into my pants. She says, "Oh yeah, you are primed and ready to go." hahaha
She went to jail, quick. Finally, the last pinch was a reach. She went to the gray bar, but it was an iffy pinch. I pick her up several blocks down in a dark area just past the titty bar. She hops in and immediately grabs my Johnson, or at least my phoney Johnson. Obviously it wasn't at room temperature and she declines. I felt so stupid with her hand around that stupid inflatable with the rubber bulb down by my real balls. After she got out of my truck I pulled the fucking thing out and flung it up against my dashboard. The cover officer came and got her for "Soliciting Prostitution" which is a step down, per se.
I won the bucks, but I swear my balls itched due to the goofy rubber love bulb that I had to haul around.
So....how was your job?
Rip City
Final tally: 8
