I Blame Paris Hilton

[See You Next Wednesday]

I go out yesterday to the bookstore and I see something like 4 or 5 women carrying around little micro rat dogs in their purse or some other form of bag.

To those people I say...No.

Just...don't.

Do not carry your dog around like your handbag. The dog does not enjoy you dragging him or her around to make sure all eyes are on you. And if it was more than just a little piece of crap dog it would probably gnaw your throat out while you slept.

Are rat dogs as fashion accesories an exclusively idiotic LA thing or is it more universally idotic?

[Mikey]

Actually the rat dogs that I've seen do seem to love it, which makes it all the more imperative that not only should the practice of carrying them around be outlawed, but all of these useless creatures themselves should be exterminated. Preferably by stepping on them really hard with large high top boots.

Next up:

Dogs that sit or stand on their "mistress'" lap with their nose out the window while said mistress is operating a motor vehicle. This trio (dog, mistress and car) should all be crushed simultaneously by a speeding commuter train.

[the_ouskull]

I found this rant that is (loosly) about Paris Hilton online...

For those of you who recognize the name, Henry Rollins, first of all, congratulations. Secondly, it is he that I draw some of the inspiration for this blog from. If you do not recognize the name, then I recommend that you do one of two things: 1) Familiarize yourself with him. The man is a genius and a musical legend, or 2) Go to your fridge, open the door, stick your head in, close the door until the light goes off. (In your head, not the fridge...)

==========

Rollins called them Iron Reminders... they were basically instructions for living your life as he lived his. He was, to say the least, a very intense individual. I used to have a few of them as well, borrowing the first one from him:

1) Do not attach; to anyone, or anything.

2) Trust others only in regards to their incompetence and their mistrust of you.

3) React. The first thing that you think, feel, or say in a given situation is usually the best one. Action leaves room for thought, which can work against you in many situations.

4) "When without a previous understanding, the enemy asks for a truce, he is plotting." - Sun Tzu

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First, I'd like to ask the four of you that actually read this crap, do YOU have any "Iron Reminders?" Did you in the past have any, as I do, that are no longer "iron clad?"

I think that the primary reason that they existed for me in the first place was because, during the formative years, very few things about life are "iron clad." The person you're dating, the people you hang out with, your job, the places you go... all of these things are fluid. Youth is characterized by fluidity. These reminders were guideposts for me; a sort of safe port in the storm of growing up. If I ran into a situation that I wasn't able (or didn't want) to deal with, I'd have this list to fall back on. Some girl started being shady? So what, I wasn't attached. Etc...

Well, seeing this list the other day got me to thinking a few things...

1) At what point did I stop using guidelines and start taking things on a case-by-case basis? (ie - when did life slow down enough that I didn't have to lump everything together)

2) What kind of person doesn't have some sort of guidelines to their life at some point? I think that I want to take the second one first...

Can any of you legitmately imagine Paris Hilton thinking? I mean, legitmate critical thought? I don't want to launch into a "Paris Hilton is retarded" rant here because it's been done to death and is no longer original, or funny, really, and because it's not the point I'm trying to make. But, the type of person that she is seems incapable of deeper thoughts. Is this because, ever since her grandpa and / or daddy (I don't know which) put up a couple of people for the night, she's never had to want for anything? I think it may be. I've said in the past that maturity occurs when dreams meet reality and are found wanting, and, by these guidelines, Paris Hilton will NEVER mature. She will NEVER want for anything that her money cannot buy her... except maybe self-respect, but she's honestly too stupid to realize THAT even if it ever WERE to happen. So yes, her life may be fluid, but not in the way that normal people's lives are. Her schedule is hectic, but it's all with frivolous crap. She's not struggling to graduate. She's not worried about where her rent check is coming from. She wants for nothing... she has all that she needs. (Once again, except self-respect, but she's too stupid to ever be taught that. See also, Simpson, Ashley.)

Well, that's about the time that it hit me... when we're younger, we're all immature little Paris'es running around, only seeing what's in our own lives; what's right in front of our faces. It sucked, but I was right. When I was 21, 22 years old, I could give a sh*t less about the feelings I was hurting. Some of the things I used to say to people -- to girls -- back then, I'd be embarassed for myself now. Call that getting old if you will, but if I'd have seen the world from a broader view back then, I'd have been pretty pissed at myself. What's even worse is how selective I was... Nice to this person, mean to this person, neither for any particular reason. Saying precisely what was on my mind, no matter how inappropiate. (Q: "Danny, are you playing me?" A: "Absolutely.") When something went wrong, I looked for excuses instead of answers. When someone chastised me, I looked to fight instead of improve. Now, years later, I am able to look back on myself and be happy and sad. Happy that I made it out without more ass-kickings, and sad that I was like that at all. (Not ENTIRELY sad, mind you... my past makes for some pretty funny f*ckin' stories sometimes...)

Now, I see kids running around, and I'm confused... Part of me knows, for a fact, that I didn't come off as bad to others as they appear to be to me. Not because I'm just going with the natural assumption in this situation, but because I know how bad I was and I wasn't that bad. But, at the same time, I don't know them either. I'm just judging them based off of what they show me; their "public persona," which is EXACTLY what I used to get so pissed-off at other people about when I was younger, running around talking about, "Man, why are these people judging me just 'cause I'm a skater with long hair? They don't know me. They don't know that I'm an honor student, etc, etc, etc..." And I think about that and I laugh, 'cause with the look that I give some of the kids I come into contact with, that's probably exactly what's going through their heads. And then I laugh even more 'cause I think that, in fifteen years, if I were to run into that same kid again, we'd BOTH be laughing at the next generation.

BUT...

That "next generation" has changed a great deal. The internet has broadened the world focus to the point where now, everybody thinks that they're an expert on everything. Everybody has an opinion on every topic out there... Blogs like those on this page are the coffee-shops of our generation. Instead of sitting around over a danish with a few buddies, talking about what we read in the paper about the government, people can now sit in the privacy of their own home and, using nothing more than a computer, get 100 different opinions on the same subject. The problem with this is that kids can do the same thing.

When I was a child, information was filtered through the people that provided it for us. We were left to form our own opinions, yes, but the outlets that reported the information, television, newspapers, and radio, all had accountability. There was a limit on what they could report to us, and once that line was reached, we rarely, if EVER saw it crossed. Now, there's an Ann Coulter on every corner of the internet, saying whatever she feels like with virtually no accountability... and people are reading it. The new generation mirrors it. There is no accountability. When I was little, if you acted up, you got spanked. In school, you got paddled, and getting paddled f*ckin' hurt. It kept you from acting up. It was a deterrent. Detention is NOT a deterrant. It just gives you more time to think up more sh*t to do. If a child were paddled in school now, there'd be a lawsuit on the doorstep before the kid stood back up all the way. Hell, some kids are suing their PARENTS over spankings. (How dare you try to make me a more well-adjusted human being! I'll sue you!)

Now, I'm not one to make light of a tragedy, but if corporal punishment were still allowed in schools, does ANYBODY think that the Columbine incident of 1999 would have happened? Me either. When I was a kid, if you looked at somebody the "wrong way," you fought them. Chris Rock said it best... "There were six of them..." If a guy is caling you names, fight him. If you stomp a couple of "the white hat crowd," suddenly, there's no shootings. You beat them up, they beat you up. They're all better for taking the *ss-whipping. The end. There's no blaming Marilyn Manson, or drugs, or "our society," etc... No bodybags. Just a few bloody noses. It's like the movie, "Friday." People carrying guns around; scared to take an *ss-whoopin'. Scared of being accountible for themselves and their actions; or, more accurately, their REactions...

THAT is the defining moment of the new generation. Not Columbine, but the moment that accountability was removed from our society. It's been a number of different factors, all working together to make it happen that's done it, but it HAS happened. It IS done. We no longer live in an accountable society. Nobody has anything to fear anymore. A younger kid can mouth off to an older one and hide under the blanket of, "I'll tell," and it actually WORKS now. It's pathetic. It's pathetic because for whatever warped-*ss reasons, our society cares more about something that stupid than any major pressing issue. We'd rather give $50 million worth of aid to a foreign country that needs it BECAUSE we blew them up than take spend it to care of the homeless here; or education. Speaking of needing a good education, Texas taxpayers HAVE to be pleased with the legislation that someone actually proposed to ban high school cheerleaders from shaking their hips during dance routines. This is tax money hard at work, no? These are just a couple of examples... people worry too much about the things that do not matter PRECISELY because they do not matter. Worrying about them requires no thought. They can just have an opinion, which does not matter, voice it, move on, and feel like they did something good for that day.

...and that brings me to my second (actually first) question: At what point did I stop using guidelines? For that matter, at what point did I (and others) stop using forethought of any kind? I think that I stopped when everybody else did; when everybody else got lazy and stopped caring whether or not anybody was held accountable for the things that they did. I mean, Hell, OJ (allegedly) killed his wife, and walked. The government couldn't do anything about it. Maybe because it was tied up with [Brad Pitt voice] sh*t we don't need. [/Brad Pitt voice] It took an individual family that still believed in accountability for one's actions to get something done in the OJ case, and let me repeat, HE (allegedly) CUT HIS WIFE'S F*CKING HEAD OFF!!!.

Basically, it's pretty hard to give a damn; to try to get things done in your own life, when you're surrounded by people who don't care whether or not they get anything done. It's even worse when the people who are supposed to be providing the ultimate accountability; our government, is one of the most corrupt and *ss-backwards agencies out there. ...and I don't need to launch into a tirade about the failings of our government. It's not about who's in power now, either. It's about the fact that, WHOEVER is in power can never get anything done because of all of the bullsh*t standing between them and being able to do anything that is legitmately helpful. The major problem I have with government is that, instead of trying to do what is "right;" morally right, they do what pleases the most voters. Not the most PEOPLE, mind you, but the most voters. Not all PEOPLE vote. All VOTERS do. All that matters to them is keeping their lobbyists happy enough to get enough votes to stay in government so that they can continue to do nothing of societal value.

...and, sadly, it's only gonna get worse... a major government lobby, the Parents Television Council, is rather upset about the content of a recent Carl's Junior ad, calling it "basically soft porn."

Guess who "stars" in that ad?

Yeah. Full f'in' circle.

the_ouskull

[Derron]

^^^^^^^^

Try posting something normal people will take the time to read.

Are rat dogs as fashion accesories an exclusively idiotic LA thing or is it more universally idotic?

If these women are trying to emulate Paris Hilton, why not ask them if they would like to wrap both hands on your throbbing cock and suck it while you then film it and post it on the internet ??

I mean thats what that slut is famous for ??? Right ??

[The Assassin]

Here is another reason to laugh at her.



Paris Hilton Plans Reggae, Hip Hop Album
Tuesday May 30 7:00 AM ET


Paris Hilton says her upcoming album will be a mix of reggae, pop and hip-hop, with the first single being a reggae song called "Stars Are Blind."

Hilton will also do a remake of the Rod Stewart song "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?," she was quoted as saying in the June issue of Hong Kong magazine Prestige.

"The whole album has so much different music on it. I like all music. It's not like I only like pop or only rock. I want to have something for everybody," Hilton said.

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Hilton said she wrote the lyrics to seven of her songs. The article didn't say how many songs are on the album.

She said she had to overcome shyness to become a singer. double


"I have always had a voice and always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. I think that is the hardest thing you can do, to sing in front of people. When I finally let go and did it, I realized it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most," Hilton said. triple

Prestige reported the single, "Stars Are Blind," will be released this month by Warner Records and her own label Heiress Records, followed by a full album later this year.



That howlings you hear are dogs all over the world getting a listen to her music.

[Taint]

Try posting something normal people will take the time to read.

Let me guess, not enough pictures so you couldn't follow along?

[Headhunter]

The whole album has so much different music on it. I like all music. It's not like I only like pop or only rock. I want to have something for everybody," Hilton said.

You know what I like, Paris? I like mimes. Could you please have something for me, Like a whole tribute albumn to Marcel Marceau? Thanks!

[Bizzarofelice]

This album sounds tight.

Sincerely,
KFed

[Cicatrix]

I want to have something for everybody," Hilton said.

Upcoming lesbo, dwarf and horse fucking flicks?

[Y2K]

My bad,
I though this thread was about the gals from the Conduct's Board posting their clams on the Internet.

[Mister Bushice]

I want to have something for everybody," Hilton said.

I'd like to request a fiery automobile crash and pics of her and her rat dogs charred corpses inside the wreck.