Jessica Alba stalking update

[Bizzarofelice]

Y'all know babygirl is in town filming a movie about an entire town where people could stand to use about 20 lbs., but the bitch keeps following me around.

I'm down souf visiting my parents when I pass by the Oberweis ice cream place with giant lights outside of it and a new sign covering the establishment's usual banner. They were filming as I was driving by. You may see me in the DFV (Damn Fine Vehicle) on the silver screen. WORD!

On Sunday a store at the mall in my neck o' the woods is turned around for filming. They still haven't started filming at my coffee shop, but I've been camped out waiting.

I'm telling you motherfuckers it is destiny. I will be three knuckles deep in that ass come July.

[BBMarley]

I'm telling you motherfuckers it is destiny. I will be firing off knuckle children to wythched pictures of her come July.

FTFY

[Smackie Chan]

firing off knuckle children

Nice gloss!

[Bizzarofelice]

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that the rest of the board thought going to the bathroom with cocoa-butter in my hand closing the door behind me locking it very tight and thinkin’ of all the naughty things me and Jessica Alba did last night was a bad thing.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

firing off knuckle children

Nice gloss!

Sin,

Peter Griffin

Nice reference, anyway.

[poptart]

Let us know when her panties are hanging from your rearview mirror, stud.

'Til then nobody's interested in your ten-minute ticker.

[Shoalzie]

If she takes you to court for stalking, the lawyers would love to get their hands on this thread.

[Allah Akbar]

The only one being stalked is you infidels. Keep indulging in your unwholesome lusts as you await the sword of Allah.

Allah Akbar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bizzarofelice]

'Til then nobody's interested in your ten-minute ticker.

Sorry, tart. I'll just stick to eagerly anticipating your next excursion into taking a shower in a land of short people.

[poptart]

Didn't I motivate you .... ?

I don't know if that's the coach's fault or the player's fault.

When in doubt, blame it on the playah.


Take a lap and think it over.

[Bizzarofelice]

I'm out there doin' it. I'm out there livin' it. Every once in a while this board needs something other than "Bush Hates Minorities" threads.

[poptart]

It's all under control, Bace.

Risa's here to put the place on her back and carry it HOME.....

[Bizzarofelice]

Risa's here to put the place on her back

I think we lost the Ween forum in an especially deep stretchmark. Biggie's new forum is hidden, but its a stinky hidden.

[poptart]

Biggie was run.


Well, we could talk about Griffy Jr moving into a tie for 11th on the all-time HR list (Mike Schmidt).

Anything funny, sexy, intriquing, or controversial in that ... ?

Anything there that'll titillate the masses ... ?

Or maybe BSchlepp will comment and make an ass of himself.


I'm just brainstormin' a bit.

[PSUFAN]

If she takes you to court for stalking, the lawyers would love to get their hands on this thread.

And then she would get to read the content?

mmmm...let me get off a memorable one :twisted: :P :twisted:

I'd luv to explode a warm gooey load of j**z and have my c*m swimming in her steaming s**t like a blast plankton shot into a freshly shucked clam.

Sick bastard. If she reads this, she'll never be down with all of that.

If confronted with this


I'd never think of deviant poopysex. I'd use the tool God gave me and slip it into the box God gave her. Then later, she could use the bathroom demurely, and keep the poop away from me.

Sick, sick bastard.

[Cicero]

Powerhouse Ass