Another "things drivers do to piss you off" thread

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:04 am

We've heard em all. Let's try and keep these limited to some of the more underrated things that drivers do to piss you off. Anecdotes are welcome.

What I really hate is when a driver is turning left from a driveway and the driveway is stretched wider than Mike Backer's asshole on a Friday night...and yet, the asshole STILL stays as far to the right as possible, making it so you cannot take a right-hand turn. Sometimes I end up going offroad, and onto the curb to make that right turn, not out of impatience, but to make the point to the driver about how they need to scoot the fuck over next time to give others room to turn. This is one of the more inconsiderate moves in the history of transportation.

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:23 am

things drivers do to piss you off

Put the key in the ignition.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:26 am

It seems as if TTB was going to avoid any thread, this one would be a good choice.

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 12:56 am

TenTallBen wrote:
things drivers do to piss you off

Put the key in the ignition.

and that's all she wrote.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 1:09 am

Risa wrote:
TenTallBen wrote:
things drivers do to piss you off

Put the key in the ignition.
and that's all she wrote.

Bike riders are like Canadians. Their opinion doesn't count.

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 1:41 am

Risa wrote:
TenTallBen wrote:
things drivers do to piss you off

Put the key in the ignition.
and that's all she wrote.

RACK.

Aside from that, as far as I can tell these days, stupidity on the road far more often than not involves some form of cellular phone.

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 1:56 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:It seems as if TTB was going to avoid any thread, this one would be a good choice.

That was the old TTB. People change.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 2:14 am

Senior citizen drivers piss the hell out of me....

- slowing down and tapping their breaks as they approach EVERY DAMNED light, regardless of how fresh and bright green it is...

- driving a consistant 8-12 miles under the speed limit at all times...

- refusing to exit a ramp, make a turn, etc., unless the road is perfectly clear -IN BOTH DIRECTIONS- for at least a mile...

- using a turn signal a county or two before the actual turn itself appears...

My God, bluehairs, if your reflexes have truly atrophied to the point that these steps are necessary, then turn in your driver's licenses and deal with public transport, mooching off friends/relatives for rides, or just staying the hell home. It's damned ironic that in your urge to prevent a traffic injury due to your enfeebled synaptic capacities, that you piss the rest of us off to the point that one of us will go "road rage" on your wrinkly asses and snap your osteoporosis-riddled frame like a pretzel.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:07 am

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:It's damned ironic that in your urge to prevent a traffic injury due to your enfeebled synaptic capacities, that you piss the rest of us off to the point that one of us will go "road rage" on your wrinkly asses and snap your osteoporosis-riddled frame like a pretzel.

Wha...:?

Who stole your password? Very unbecoming.

Respect your elders, son. You must always show the utmost tolerance towards bluehairs, no matter how big of a hurry you're in.

We'll all be there soon enough.

Rack the geezers with enough stones to stay on the road with the rest us impatient motherfuckers.

Once I see the Buick Century ahead, I immediately make allowances and then tip my hat as I eventually, someday, pass...

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:19 am

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:Senior citizen drivers piss the hell out of me....

- slowing down and tapping their breaks as they approach EVERY DAMNED light, regardless of how fresh and bright green it is...

my roommate does that. apparently he was taught that that was the safe way to drive. i can see not immediately going as soon as the light turns green -- too many redlight rushers. but when the light is green and you're slowing down in the intersection because it's safer? what the fuck?

so if other people are doing it, that means at some point people were taught that that really was the safe thing to do. so, what was going on in that time period when people were learning to drive, that even a green-for-a-while intersection meant slowing down before the intersection and within the intersection.

me, i was taught, watch for pedestrians, keep the flow going, and once you're in the intersection get out.

he's also the same person who will tailgate someone at a redlight, you know, nose as close as possible to the other person's rear. i know, everyone does it, but the way *i* was taught was that you don't wanna be all up in someone's ass because you don't know what's happening in front of them. they could need to move backwards or sideways and you're preventing it.. and worst of all, if someone crashes ahead of you, that chain reaction is gonna mean more damage to your vehicle if you're that close to someone else.

so anyway, again, what was happening that an entire generation or two of people had to be taught that it was safe? what was going on in the roads? because that's fucked up if you have to slow down in the intersection even when you've had the green for a while. Americans are shit drivers from way back when it comes to paying attention to the red, i take it.

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:26 am

Roach wrote:Are they so stupid they don't know Two cars can be at the turn. So stupid they don't know why the horn honks behind them.

Two cars at the turn.. two cars at the turn.... oh god, are you talking about two cars trying to make a left hand turn, and are both stuck in th emiddle of the lane?

NO FUCKING WAY is that safe, nor should it be legal. I've seen too many people -- especially people in big ass trucks -- just bogard their way to the intersection BLOCKING the view of the person who was there first, and then bogarding their way into the flow of traffic. If you're gonna do that, whoever was there first should have right of way, and shouldn't have their view blocked. If you're gonna do that, just don't. Way way WAY unsafe.

And then add others from the opposite direction trying to make their own left hand turns? Way way WAY unsafe.

If you're talking about two cars in the middle of the street trying to go in opposite directions but are now stuck in the middle... why don't people just do the safer thing, make the right hand turn, merge into the leftmost lane, then make a U-Turn at the nearest break in the median? I mean, to me, not only is that safest, but it saves a hell of a lot more time than waiting for the perfect break.

At least, it's the safest when there's no one trying to make left hand turns at the same median break you're gonna attempt the U-Turn at. Too many people think they have right of way when there's more than one person.

So what's the real rule on all this?

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:55 am

Risa wrote:my roommate does that. apparently he was taught that that was the safe way to drive.

You have a dude for a roommate? How hasn't he blown his brains out yet?

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 4:06 am

we have hardly no interaction whatsoever, though he was kind enough to put some stuff on and bandage my arm when i took a spill 2 weeks ago. that was not cool. :) i'm just glad it was the left arm, otherwise i'd have taken that gun myself

Mike Backer · Post by **Mike Backer** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 4:53 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:What I really hate is when a driver is turning left from a driveway and the driveway is stretched wider than Mike Backer's asshole on a Friday night...

BWA!

Rack my freshly probed cornhole.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 2:23 pm

War Wagon wrote:Respect your elders, son.

In general, a good rule of thumb.

War Wagon wrote:You must always show the utmost tolerance towards bluehairs, no matter how big of a hurry you're in.

Bull-fucking-shit.

Driving is a privilege, not a right - a fact clearly laid out in the DMV manuals and in driver's ed. If an individual's ability to control their vehicle is compromised enough that they have to do compensate by taking the frustrating steps I've mentioned, then odds are that their ability to detect and react to unexpected dangerous situations is also compromised.

I'm not asking them to pull off Popeye Doyle maneuvers or be a pace car at a race track....just APPROACHING the damned speed limit and not acting as if every traffic light is out to get them would be a nice start.

War Wagon wrote:We'll all be there soon enough.

So? When my driving abilities deteriorate to the point where the presence my Queen Mary-sized Buick (which, apparently I'll be forced to buy once I hit "bluehair" status) slows traffic to an almost standstill, pissing off the dozen or so drivers behind me as I refuse to pull over, then I hope that God grants me the grace and presence of mind to turn in my license.

War Wagon wrote:Rack the geezers with enough stones to stay on the road with the rest us impatient motherfuckers.

It's not "impatient" to get pissed off when Myrtle, Clem, Gertie, etc. insist on adding 50% or more to your travel time just because they refuse to follow the speed limit (or keeping slowing down for every sign advertising a flea market, antique show, etc.). It's not "impatient" to get pissed when they drive around parking lots completely oblivious to pedestrian crossings and almost hit my kids. It's not "impatient" when 10, 15, 20 cars are stuck on an off-ramp because Mildred can barely see over the dashboard and insists on not going until she can't detect a whiff of car in either direction. It's not "impatient" when these freaks don't even have the presence of mind to pull over as an flashing ambulance rushes to an emergency (as happened yesterday on my way home...).

The fact that we all -if we're lucky- get old does not, by any stretch of the imagination, entitle these folks to at the very least, inconvenience others, or at the most, endanger themselves and others.

It also pisses me off when Hezekiah and Dottie completely block supermarket aisles with their diagonally-oriented carts as they yammer about last night's bridge game, but at least in that case I can gently nudge their cart over (after multiple futile "excuse me" attempts...). "Clean up in aisle 3" isn't as big a deal as "clean up on I-390"....

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 5:38 pm

The thing that pisses me off the most is that when I'm on the road, I'm always surrounded by people who have such sad, pathetic, empty lives that they actually get worked up by what other people are doing on the road. It's hard to believe that these people are driving on an American road for the very first time, but that's obviously the case, since anyone who had actually driven more than 5 miles in the city before is going to realize that those little annoyances are happening every minute of every day in every city in America. Reacting with anger or annoyance at other people's bad/rude habits is so incredibly dumb -- you KNEW what was going to happen as soon as you fired up the car, yet you CHOSE to do it anyway.

Something to ponder -- YOU knew what was going to happen as far as the behaviors and delays, and YOU'RE getting your blood pressure up over it....so, that in mind, and regardless who you're yelling at out the window --- WHO'S the "idiot" again?

If it takes me 45 minutes to get there, or if it takes me 50 because of an "idiot" -- when the day comes that I ever get the slightest bit worked up about how the guy in front of me drives, it will be my last day here on earth. I do my best to enjoy every minute of every day (a lesson which "real life" has has been reminding me of too much here lately), and if traffic makes it take 10, 20, or 30 extra minutes to get across town, I'm going to enjoy that time, since it's still being deducted from my total allotment of Minutes To Live that I've been given.

Enjoy every moment, and live each day as if it were your last, for this truly could be your last...especially if you're in front of me at the intersection and don't go after the light turns green.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 5:49 pm

Way to read into it waaaaaaaay too much, there Dins.

A giant "NO SHIT" to everything you just said.

I've been posting on these boards for about 7 years now, and it still amazes me as to how so few people "get" exactly how it is that we roll here.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 5:54 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Way to read into it waaaaaaaay too much, there Dins.

A giant "NO SHIT" to everything you just said.

I've been posting on these boards for about 7 years now, and it still amazes me as to how so few people "get" exactly how it is that we roll here.

Yeppers.

Way too many folks honestly believe that 100% of the crap we put up here is the way we honestly deal with life. Exaggeration and hyperbole are par for the course and make for damned fine posts...

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:04 pm

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Way to read into it waaaaaaaay too much, there Dins.

A giant "NO SHIT" to everything you just said.

I've been posting on these boards for about 7 years now, and it still amazes me as to how so few people "get" exactly how it is that we roll here.
Yeppers.

Way too many folks honestly believe that 100% of the crap we put up here is the way we honestly deal with life. Exaggeration and hyperbole are par for the course and make for damned fine posts...

You mean FTDC doesn't really throw his food trash out the car window????

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:06 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I've been posting on these boards for about 7 years now, and it still amazes me as to how so few people "get" exactly how it is that we roll here.

Yeah, you're right.

Coming in to a thread and taking a position different from everyone else's, and using this position as evidence that everyone else here besides me is an idiot, certainly is very inconsistant with "how it is we roll here."

:rolleyesbiggerthantheMilkyWay:

Oh, and maybe if you go back and read that again, maybe....just mayyyyyybe, you'll catch the joke in there. I know that whole "subtle humor" thing isn't really how it is we roll here, which is once again evident from it sailing miles over some heads. But every once in a while, it kinda makes for a nice change of pace from "you're an idiot...no, YOU'RE an idiot, and you're gay."

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:07 pm

FTDC

That dude cracked me up. Too bad he jumped ship to one of the idiot boards.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:07 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: how it is that we roll here.

Rule #1 -- if you don't get the joke, start screaming "you take this place too seriously" from the mountaintops.

That's always a winner.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:13 pm

Some advice for you: If you feel the need to point out your oh so clever and "subtle" little bits of comedy, then it probably wasn't very funny. If that's your MO, I'd seriously drop the comedy routine and just stick to being that guy that flips out over every...little...fucking...thing. You're much better at that.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:19 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: how it is that we roll here.

Rule #1 -- if you don't get the joke, start screaming "you take this place too seriously" from the mountaintops.

That's always a winner.

Rule #2 -- if someone calls you out for acting like a douchebag, start screaming "you obviously didn't get the joke" from the mountaintops.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:26 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:["you obviously didn't get the joke"

Yup, you obviously didn't.

But I'm here to help, Mangoo. I'm kinda generous like that.

See....I spent three paragraphs explaining how idiotic and immature it is to get worked up about traffic. In jokewriting, this is referred to as the "setup."

I then finished up the post by threatening to kill people for not taking off immediately after the light turns green...see how that works? Despite my denegrating anyone and everyone for getting annoyed by traffic, I then went so far as to imply that I's actually kill people for committing a monor annoyance...get it?

See, that's known as the "punchline."

Hopefully, this little lesson helps you from looking the ass in the future.

Of course, I fully realizing that actually trying to drop a good, thought out joke is is inconsistant with "how it is we roll here."

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:37 pm

What the fuck is wrong with you? Didn't I JUST outline this for you?

I'll reiterate...

If you feel the need to point out your oh so clever and "subtle" little bits of comedy, then it probably wasn't very funny

I don't make the rules. I'm just here to point out your failure on the matter.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:39 pm

probably

That "probablility" is enterely dependant on the audience. And in the case of THIS board...well...

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:40 pm

Yeah.

I wouldn't bank on a truckload of drive-by racks for that brilliant little piece of "comedy gold", there Jerry.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:54 am

I hate it when they force you off the road and nearly cause you to hit a utility pole head-on...

That's not the type of excitement I wanted to have on my last day off this week. I was running errands on Friday morning and this lady is behind a car turning left in the left lane while I'm driving by in the right lane. Without a signal or any warning, she makes a hard right to go around the car in front of her when I'm literally right next to her. I had to react quickly and go off the road to avoid getting hit. I stopped for a moment to collect myself. No harm no foul but the ironic part of it is that she doesn't stop to see if I got in a wreck but instead just goes on her way and it appears she was heading home and her house was like two blocks from where this happened. I can't imagine she was in that much of a hurry. What made is worse is she had kids in the backseat of the car and I couldn't have lived with myself if she did hit me and caused and accident and anything happened to the kids who are completely innocent in the matter. It would've been completely all her fault but I'd feel guilty if something had happened to them.

Later in the day, I don't know if it was related to the incident or not but my back left tire blew out just out of the blue while going the road. I don't think I ran over anything to cause it to happen. I wonder if was linked to when I had to go off the road to avoid the accident earlier and maybe I drove over some debris or broken glass. Thankfully it only set me back $10 bucks to replace the one tire.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:35 am

Dinsdale wrote:I's

monor

I fully realizing

inconsistant

I didn't even read this post in its entirety until now. This is from the guy who's made a career out of "denegrating anyone and everyone" over grammah and spelling.

Quality stuff. And I didn't even have to do anything to bring it out in you.

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:28 pm

Shoalzie wrote: No harm no foul but the ironic part of it is that she doesn't stop to see if I got in a wreck but instead just goes on her way

That's because she didn't see you, and if she didn't see you, you don't exist. If she'd ran you down, she could claim she thought she hit a deer :roll: or a box in the road -- like all the other fools do. It's her and the road, Shoalzie, everyone else can get out of her way.

and it appears she was heading home and her house was like two blocks from where this happened. I can't imagine she was in that much of a hurry.

Sure she was. Now, whether what she was driving in such a shitty way for was actually worth hurrying for.. that's the question.

What made is worse is she had kids in the backseat of the car and I couldn't have lived with myself if she did hit me and caused and accident and anything happened to the kids who are completely innocent in the matter.

You didn't do anything wrong, according to your story. It's not on you, it's on her for endangering her children's lives. Hell, you probably would have done better and right by those children than she, even as she schooled them in faking a neck injury.

(The last accident I witnessed, the bitch at fault was the one who was making the most noise about 'i can't stop shaking i can't stop shaking' and pulling the 'i'm about to faint routine'. The people she hit were calm as day. I hope they busted the fake bitch.)

Fuck her, and her insurance premiums.

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:30 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
FTDC
That dude cracked me up. Too bad he jumped ship to one of the idiot boards.

No one appreciated his culinary tales here? or were his other trolls banned from here?

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 3:32 pm

Diego in Seattle wrote:
Mike the Lab Rat wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Way to read into it waaaaaaaay too much, there Dins.

A giant "NO SHIT" to everything you just said.

I've been posting on these boards for about 7 years now, and it still amazes me as to how so few people "get" exactly how it is that we roll here.
Yeppers.

Way too many folks honestly believe that 100% of the crap we put up here is the way we honestly deal with life. Exaggeration and hyperbole are par for the course and make for damned fine posts...
You mean FTDC doesn't really throw his food trash out the car window????

Given how many people pull that shit, why is it hard to believe someone would admit to doing it, though?

T1B

Another "things drivers do to piss you off" thread

Another "things drivers do to piss you off" thread

Re: Another "things drivers do to piss you off" th