"Don't worry dude, I used to have a Road King..."

[Van]

Man, my job can be such a hoot.

"This one makes a whole helluva lot more torque than your last bike. You need to be ULTRA careful with the throttle for the first hundred miles, especially on brand new tires which are very slick with a fine sheen of cosmoline. Just pull in the clutch and ease your way through corners until you get a feel for where the throttle comes in. Give the tires time to warm up and learn this thing slowly."

"Don't worry dude, I'm used to Big Power. I used to have a Road King..."

"

Again, seriously, you need to be careful on this one. Going from a Harley to this thing is Flintstones vs Jetsons territory."

"I'm good."

~five minutes later a new customer comes strolling up to me as I'm reading PSU's comment which now appears as my sig...~

"Umm, there's a guy stuck under some cars in your back parking lot. I think he crashed his bike."

Oh.....goddammit.

Sure enough I head outside and there's five employees there, lifting this guy's bike up and pulling him out from beneath the rear fender of a newly fucked up Honda Accord.



Chalk up another dude who couldn't make it out of our parking lot today. This time, knucklehead had the great comedic sensibilities to take out three of our employee's cars along the way, including the BMW of the owner's daughter.

This time the Evil Vehicle was a Suzuki M109R, which is just a big gay cruiser!

The guy followed up this display of utter ignominy with the ultimate in Bitch Moves: bawling like a giant Baby Huey in front of the whole store, including his wife, who looked like one of those chicks in those "Wanna get away?" commercials.

Nice.

Okay, what's for lunch?

[Dinsdale]

Okay, what's for lunch?

Trailer hitch.

Sin,
Dude Who Wasn't Smart Enough To Know New Bike Tires Are Really Slick

[Van]

Okay, what's for lunch?

Trailer hitch.

Sin,
Dude Who Wasn't Smart Enough To Know New Bike Tires Are Really Slick

Bwaaahahaaaa!!!

Fuggen exactly.

[Mister Bushice]

lemme guess - mid forties, overweight, balding?

[Van]

Late thirties, I'd guess. Balding and overweight, yep, and black, and a very cool, solid guy overall.

Easily the most embarrassing moment of his life, he said afterwards.

[Dinsdale]

White men can't dance.

Black men can't ride a cruiser.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

The guy followed up this display of utter ignominy with the ultimate in Bitch Moves: bawling like a giant Baby Huey in front of the whole store, including his wife, who looked like one of those chicks in those "Wanna get away?" commercials.

Good-fucking-lord.

You know that awkward jolt that runs through your body when you feel really embarrassed for somebody? That happened to me, and I only read the account. Can't imagine what it was like for you actually being there.

What do you you even say in that situation?

I'm pretty sure I would've just went like this: "Uhhhhhh, I gotta go."

[Van]

What can you do, other than attempt to be supportive to the guy and his wife...

"At least you're okay, and that's all that really matters, you fucking retard."

"It's just parts. They can be replaced. Oh, that's right, you chose not to get insurance, not even basic liability coverage. Have fun at the parts and service counters then, you fucking retard."

"Yeah, you're going to be liable for those three cars you nailed, including the BMW, you fucking retard."

"Yes, Mrs Chagrined Wife, he is in fact every bit the dork you now suspect him to be..."

[Atomic Punk]

Van, what's your take on the Kawasaki ZX-14? Have you ridden it yet or know anyone that has?

[Van]

With that spider's head of a headlight arrangement plus a back end that looks like a Burgman scooter plus all those acres of cheap plastic louvers covering the frame it's easily the ugliest bike of the last ten years or so, and that's saying something.

That being said, it's a very good bike, if you like that sort of thing. For a Kawi it's especially a well sorted bike.

Because of the voluntary 300 kmph ceiling the original Hayabusa will remain the only stock production bike to ever do a real 200 mph but the ZX-14R is definitely the new HP king, with some tests coming in at a real world dyno reading of 174 and 104 lbs of torque at the rear wheel.

That's AMA Superbike numbers from only five years ago, only with a helluva lot more torque.

Funny thing though. This bike's real reason for existing is to best the 'Busa at the dragstrip. Problem is, the 'Busa's superior ability to launch still allows it to beat the Kawi in most dragstrip tests.

One other thing...

Per usual, Kawi is going to be a day late and a dollar short. For the last fifteen years or so they've just always been unfortunate enough to introduce their new world beater bikes precisely at the same time as everyone else does the same thing, or, at best, they get a one year run at the top. That's the case this year as the 'Busa is going to be all new next year and if history is any indication it's going to ruin everything else out there by a wide margin, as Suzuki is the one company that isn't shy about not just edging out the competition but instead going ahead and completely blowing apart the goalposts...