Getting hitch in Ochos Rios, Jamaica, any scoop on it?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 9:50 pm

0-0-7

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 9:54 pm

PSUFAN wrote:0-0-7

big time racks there. just what I was thinking.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 1:10 pm

Van wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Van wrote: If you read my post you'd see where I described what a third world shithole it is once you leave the resort area.

So, yeah, of course we leave the resort and check out other parts of the island. In that regard, yep, Jamaica as a tourist locale is far too impoverished to compete with wealthier Caribbean islands.

Their resorts though are amazing, and they're really all Arch is asking about regarding his wedding plans in Ocho Rios. I doubt he's thinking of grabbing a room in town, ya' know?
And I was replying to your consideration of purchasing a timeshare in Jamaica. Doesn't make much sense based on your second paragraph above. I had already separately offered to Arch my opinions on a couple of the Ocho resorts. Eye on the ball and whatsuch.
Follow me here...

Yes, a time share...on the beach...in or adjacent to one of the resorts.

See, they typically don't sell time shares in the middle of Shanty Town.

So you’re thinking of buying a timeshare on an island so you could repeatedly visit there, even though “we leave the resort and check out other parts of the island. In that regard, yep, Jamaica as a tourist locale is far too impoverished to compete with wealthier Caribbean islands.”

Why not buy the timeshare on a much nicer island? Why even consider Jamaica? No, not too sure that I follow you there. If I were mvscal, I’d probably be calling you a dumbfuck right about now.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:18 pm

Goober, we've already checked out the island. We don't need to keep doing it. The purpose for the time share would be the bitchin' time share property itself, at the resort.

An occasional week or two there at the resort, that'd be it.

Susan loved the place, and the people. So, as far as she's concerned it ain't broke and it doesn't need fixing.

I'd have no aversion to checking out other places, other islands. Thing is, as long as they're resorts they're most likely all going to be awesome so it'd be difficult to choose one over another.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:43 pm

Trust me on this, Van, some are way more awesome than others. Antigua was really nice, and Aruba in particular really stood out. We’ve stayed twice at a great resort there; beautiful beach, fantastic food, nightly floor shows, a cozy little casino.

One of the problems with the all-inclusive vacation packages is that you tend to eat all of your meals at the resort because hey, they’re all paid for. This particular one, though, gave us each $150 in dine around coupons good at numerous restaurants on the island. And Aruba has a number of outstanding restaurants.

You just don’t see the kind of poverty on Aruba that you do on some of the other islands, and the crime rate is much lower, Alabama school-girl chum slick notwithstanding. Believe me, if you spent a week bumping around that island, you would have no difficulty whatsoever making that choice.

lk_pick1 · Post by **lk_pick1** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:32 pm

Congrats, first off.

Second off, RACK the hell outta van. I can't stop laughing.

Moorese · Post by **Moorese** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:56 pm

The Whistle Is Screaming wrote: I've been to the Bahamas & Grand Caymen (both by cruise ship). Of the 2 I guess GC is probably the nicer/safer place, but it was hard to tell. Bahamas was definitely a shit hole away from the resort & port area.

More research is needed. ;-)

I had a great time in the Bahamas a few years back and the pics turned out pretty well. Definitely worth a return trip.

http://www.thesmackbat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8344

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:01 pm

Ever try to explain the concept of Moorese to somebody who's never visited these boards?

I have, on a couple of occasions, including showing them Moorese's Greatest Hits thread with his above mentioned vacation vignette.

People just look at you weirdly when you try to get them to get Moorese, but it doesn't matter. YOU know the shit's funny, and that's all that matters. Fuck 'em if they don't get it...

My wife, in particular, she just thinks I must be a total idiot to hang out with such debauched maniacs. She thinks it in a good way though, so I got that going for me. Most people just look at you like you whipped out a picture from your wallet of a baby being shat on by an elephant...

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:05 pm

Van wrote:Ever try to explain the concept of Moorese to somebody who's never visited these boards?

The wife. She wondered why I was laughing to the point of crying. I felt like an idiot explaining it to her until she laughed at the concept of a midget speared on a schlong yet still pumping its little legs in a vain attempt to escape.

Couple days ago I paused the movie "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" to point out "a guy who is on that web page where they insult each other all day" (Jess).

socal · Post by **socal** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:46 pm

Perhaps you'd sell more bikes if you weren't conveying the smooth stylings of Waitman Wade Beorn (sp?) and GPete.

I'd have enough trouble trying to explain Van let alone Moorese.

I'll just let the youngin' crack back on me for spending so much time at that smackchat/old man myspace place and let sleeping dogs lie thankyouverymuch.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:58 pm

SoCal, believe it or not, occasionally lapsing into some Moorese/WWB Speak is exactly what's called for to close a deal with some of the lobotomites that come rolling through here...

A well placed F Bomb often times closes a deal quicker than anything and if you go the whole Monty and give a full on WWB narrative they instantly worship you.

Works for me, anyway.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:58 pm

I hate when you guys fight.

:cry:

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:05 pm

Van wrote:A well placed F Bomb often times closes a deal quicker than anything and if you go the whole Monty and give a full on WWB narrative they instantly worship you.

By "worship," you mean "find the patience to wait ther while you 'ask my manager...he's in a good mood today' "...right?

Terry in Crapchester · Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:10 pm

Drive by rack for Dins for the Wendy Lou Who reset.

And as for this . . .

Van wrote:Most people just look at you like you whipped out a picture from your wallet of a baby being shat on by an elephant...

\/ \/ \/ Thanks, Van.

Arch Angel · Post by **Arch Angel** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:35 am

My goodness....

I go away for a few days and see that Van has hijack the thread. Actually, you did a good job, very funny stuff.

Thanks to all who've chimed in. I have been all over the world, but one place I never been was the tropics. It was her dream to have a tropical wedding and I just told her wherever she wants it, she can have.

As for pictures; there is no way in hell I would do that. You sick fucks will twist it, doctor it, or worse like before, change it out for some crap I have no idea what it is about and say it is me.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 12:37 am

Arch Angel wrote:I have been all over the world, but one place I never been was the tropics.

You haven't gotten any smarter than the last time we saw you.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:44 am

Arch Angel wrote:My goodness....

I go away for a few days and see that Van has hijack the thread. Actually, you did a good job, very funny stuff.

Hijack the thread??

I was the one who made the effort to actually give you a serious response!

Man, now I'm all butthurt and shit.

:wink:

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 4:47 am

Arch Angel wrote: 34 - 26 - 28 - C cup

Arch, if I was you, I'd be saving my pennies to buy the future Mrs. Angel an ass.

Please tell me that was a typo?

Congrats, by the way. The world needs more mulatos running around to help get us past this stupid race. Besides, biracial chicks tend to be smoking hot. Good luck fending off the hordes of hormonally crazed boys you'll have to deal with about fifteen years after your first daughter is born.

As for where to go, spend a little more and come here to hawaii. I have been to the carribean. It is lovely, but, there is something to be said for going to a tropical paradise which is actually part of the US. No crushing poverty, lawlessness and all the other things that come along with the third world. That or go to Antigua. It is beautiful. You can walk through town without fearing for your life. You can fukk your wife on a beach, in the middle of the day, without the distraction of a nazi cheering section. Jamaica is where you go for single drunken debauchery. Antigua is where you go for a honeymoon, unless ofcourse you have a freak for a wife like Van, that lucky bastid!!!

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 5:00 am

Everyone's wife is a freak; with some women thankfully it's all the time and with other women it's just when they allow themselves to let loose in a place like Jamaica.

If she's not, even in a place like that, hey, just cut your losses and leave her there at the airport 'cause she's ultimately going to be utterly worthless to you as a wife.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:33 pm

Van wrote:Everyone's wife is a freak.

true dat