Headhunter wrote:Rack the fuck out of R-Jack. Verrah nice rant. You did, however, forget to ramble on about the Calvin Pissing stickers, so I have to give you an A-.
I concur
or the "My kid is a cumsquat elementary honor student" stickers....
Terry in Crapchester wrote:
But this board doesn't exactly represent reality.
How 'bout the oh-so-hip-and-trendy "alternative religion" folks who plaster their vehicles with witch...oh, I'm sorry, I mean 'Wicca" stuff? You know, the "My Other Car Is A Broom" crap? I realize that these folks feel more cool than the rest of us, what with picking up a "religion" that they learned about between bongs while at a Womyn's Action Coalition meeting, but they never apparently read up enough to find out that the "womyn centered faith" (that they claim predates Christianity) was pretty much cooked up by a British dude in the 1960's.
The ultra-Christian folks are almost as laughable, with the Jesus Fish thing and the "My Boss Is A Jewish Carpenter" stickers.
THE BIBLE - Because all the works of all the science cannot equal the wisdom of cattle-sacrificing primitives who thought every animal species in the world lived within walking distance of Noah's house.
Just to be a dink I had thought about getting a "Darwin Fish" to put on my car, but I'd been warned by other bio teachers that they'd had their cars vandalized by "Christers" (folks trying to pull of the "fish," breaking it, keying the car...) whenever they had 'em. Verruh nice. Very tolerant and loving...
THE BIBLE - Because all the works of all the science cannot equal the wisdom of cattle-sacrificing primitives who thought every animal species in the world lived within walking distance of Noah's house.
I would have to agree with this rant, and then this past year my daughter came home from school one day;
"My kid is a cumsquat elementary honor student"
My wife and I looked at each other and we let out a collective, "Oh Fuck". We flipped a coin and I los... errr won, yea that's it.
She has subsequently brought home the "Citizen of the Month Version" which I'm sporting on my '97 rig also. I modified this one with a strip of white tape below on which I scrawled, "SHE DID NOT GET IT FROM ME", for the occasions that i'm driving like a complete asshole.
atomicdad wrote:You've got to pick and choose your battles. You will figure that out soon enough after your woman squirts out a couple of toads.
Sorry, that's not a battle I'm passing up. That my wife also happens to agree with my take on this helps. Fuck this whole self esteem culture that makes everybody "student of the day" or whatever life affirming PC bullshit they think up by the time my kids get in school.
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
A-Dad, when my step-son won student of the month and was put on the honor roll, I told him that we'd be happy to put them both up on the fridge, but neither were going on the rig. He was fine with that.
atomicdad wrote:You've got to pick and choose your battles. You will figure that out soon enough after your woman squirts out a couple of toads.
Sorry, that's not a battle I'm passing up. That my wife also happens to agree with my take on this helps. Fuck this whole self esteem culture that makes everybody "student of the day" or whatever life affirming PC bullshit they think up by the time my kids get in school.
RACK. When our 10 y/o (at the time) won student of the month, I asked what he did to get the honor. He responded, "It was my turn." BWAHAHAHAAHAHA. Less that sticker going on the rig, thanks. Naturally, since he was stoked about it, I didn't piss in his campfire, but I'm not going to support that type of "everyone's a winner" culture either. Fuck celebrating existence and mediocrity.
Different strokes, although if it was a newer year car the outcome would have been different. Seeing how it is on a '97 Blazer, one of the more dangerous cars in crash test studies by the way, I don't really care too much about it.
Besides the honor roll one covers the gash in the plastic bumper cover I picked up somewhere along the way.
Even the kids have figured out the stupidity of the "everyone's a winner" self-esteem crap.
One of my students summed up the "Most Improved" award they give out for every team this way: "You really sucked before. Now...not so much!"
The teachers also like to rag on the Attendance awards. Giving someone a frigging award for just showing up? Considering that schools give the kids breakfast, lunch, a venue for their social lives, etc. and that for all their bitching about the place THEY WON'T GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BUILDING AT 3:15...the place is like their frigging second home.
THE BIBLE - Because all the works of all the science cannot equal the wisdom of cattle-sacrificing primitives who thought every animal species in the world lived within walking distance of Noah's house.
Another annoying thing is the dumbass pawprint stickers that a local school district has to show support for their team, the "Bulldogs."
I have a two-year-old. You know what a frigging pain in the ass it is to walk through a parking lot with a "Blue's Clues" - addicted kid in your arms, flailing around to repeatedly point and scream A CLUE!! A CLUE!! at every frigging car in sight?!?
THE BIBLE - Because all the works of all the science cannot equal the wisdom of cattle-sacrificing primitives who thought every animal species in the world lived within walking distance of Noah's house.
Mike the Lab Rat wrote:Another annoying thing is the dumbass pawprint stickers that a local school district has to show support for their team, the "Bulldogs."
I have a two-year-old. You know what a frigging pain in the ass it is to walk through a parking lot with a "Blue's Clues" - addicted kid in your arms, flailing around to repeatedly point and scream A CLUE!! A CLUE!! at every frigging car in sight?!?
Livonia?
If it's any consolation, consider this: we play them in youth football. I still remember them playing "Who Let the Dogs Out?" everytime their team scored from the days that my stepdaughter was a cheerleader.
My son starts youth football this year. I can't wait to hear that fuggin' song again. :brad:
War Wagon wrote:The first time I click on one of your youtube links will be the first time.
Mike the Lab Rat wrote:Another annoying thing is the dumbass pawprint stickers that a local school district has to show support for their team, the "Bulldogs."
I have a two-year-old. You know what a frigging pain in the ass it is to walk through a parking lot with a "Blue's Clues" - addicted kid in your arms, flailing around to repeatedly point and scream A CLUE!! A CLUE!! at every frigging car in sight?!?
LMAO at the thought of regaling my Livonia based relatives with that story.
"Once upon a time, dinosaurs didn't have families. They lived in the woods and ate their children. It was a golden age."
—Earl Sinclair
"I do have respect for authority even though I throw jelly dicks at them.
The OL asked me to get some hawaii bumper sticks before I leave. Think maybe I'll forget to. I'd hate to be driving down the road one day and have R-jack or hupel behind have a fukking anuerysm because he's pissed that somebody got to go someplace nice.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
I'm not down with the bumper stickers either, but I don't mind them on other cars. It gives me something to read while I'm sitting at a really long red light. The best are the 18 year old bulldog pierced-up angry man haters in their Geo Metros who have to have every inch of the rear of their vehicle plastered with political bumper stickers. Yeah, you're just soooooo deep, that you believe all of life's answers can be summed up in these "clever" little four word sentences slapped onto adhesives.
I always figured I should be sporting one that syas "Single childless dude on board...go ahead and hit me."
And don't even get me started on dweebs with "Keep Portland Weird" bumper stickers, which are invariably sported by someone who moved here 6 months ago.
smackaholic wrote:The OL asked me to get some hawaii bumper sticks before I leave. Think maybe I'll forget to. I'd hate to be driving down the road one day and have R-jack or hupel behind have a fukking anuerysm because he's pissed that somebody got to go someplace nice.
Or worse, you feel something fucking your ear socket and eating your brains.