"And IIIIII-EEE-AYYYYY Will Always Hate JOOOOOOOS"

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 10:47 am

Shocking revelations about Osama bin Laden

Osama bin Laden was obsessed with Whitney Houston, a new book claims. The al Qaeda chief even wanted to marry the American singer, according to Kola Boof's autobiography. The Sudanese poet and novelist says she was kept against her will as bin Laden's mistress in 1996.

Excerpts of her autobiography, Diary Of A Lost Girl, have been published in Harper's magazine.

"He told me that Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen," it reads.

"He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum.

"He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives."

Bin Laden would also speak constantly about "how beautiful she (Houston) is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is."

But he reportedly believed the star had been "brainwashed by American culture and by her husband - Bobby Brown".

He even talked about having the rapper killed, the book says.

Boof also claims the al Qaeda supremo would "ramble on" about his favourite TV shows, The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver.

Perhaps the US Army shouldn't have wasted their time in Afghanistan and should have investigated Patty and Selma's cellar.

Diego in Seattle · Post by **Diego in Seattle** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 11:18 am

Kareem Abdul JaBlunt must be "truely Islamic" as well.

AJ · Post by AJ » Tue Aug 22, 2006 12:29 pm

Killing Bobby Brown isn't such a bad idea.

pron · Post by **pron** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 12:44 pm

"He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives."

WTF is that camel ass smelling sand ni66er talking about his color rule? Like he is too fucking good for any woman.

One day the world will see his rotting dead corpse, and that will be a good day.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:06 pm

So... OBL gots nuts on the american infadels because they cancelled his 3 favorite tv shows? If I knew OBL had a dvd player I'd send him the first few seasons of MacGuyver and Miami Vice.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 2:22 pm

Have him watch a few episodes of "Being Bobby Brown"......

that'll change his mind........

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 8:01 pm

Kola Boof?

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 8:42 pm

Nishlord wrote:Shocking revelations about Osama bin Laden

Osama bin Laden was obsessed with Whitney Houston

"He told me that Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen," it reads.

Bin Laden would also speak constantly about "how beautiful she (Houston) is, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is."

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 8:44 pm

I didn't think that these freaks were allowed to look at a woman if her face wasn't covered? I don't think that this is 100% accurate. By the way - PLEASE kill Bobby Brown. On top of all the rest of reasons, that show showed him to be whipped too.

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 8:56 pm

mvscal wrote:
The phantorino wrote:I didn't think that these freaks were allowed to look at a woman if her face wasn't covered?
Ask the Imam

Iries' meth-dealer and mvscal?

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Tue Aug 22, 2006 9:19 pm

I'm wondering if Osama has seen her since she bought her one-way ticket to skeezerville......

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 11:32 am

My services are still available, Whitney, although the price has gone up about fiftyfold.

Sincerely,
Kevin Costner

PS: The Greatest Whitney Moment Of All

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:06 pm

That's why we can't find him, he's busy watching MacGyver and listening to New Edition tapes with the Egyptian in some cave.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 1:48 pm

Kola Boof is a Sudanese poet and member of
the Sudanese People's Liberation Army. She
claims she was kept as a sex slave by Osama
Bin Laden in Morocco in 1998. Kola tells us
that Osama:

* Is a big fan of Miami Vice.
* Answers to the nickname "Somi"
* Liked her to dance naked to B52s' Rock
Lobster, while he shouted at her "Dance
like a Caucasoid girl!"
* Respects Van Halen
* Is very good at deep sea fishing
* Liked hunting birds and wild boar
* Was obsessed by Whitney Houston

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:46 pm

I'm trying to shake the image of OBL jumping about, playing air guitar to Everybody Wants Some while dressed like Don Johnson.

If I knew how to animate .gif's, the War on Terror would be over right now.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:03 pm

He's rolling around the mountains of Pakistan on a black donkey with Phil Collins' " in the air" blasting off an infidel tape deck.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:24 pm

Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply, Whitney Houston, had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie? It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation and dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:27 pm

So do you think the air force should be listening for the faint sounds of " I wanna dance with somebody" coming from deep underground and drop a bunker buster on it?

YD · Post by YD » Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:34 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply, Whitney Houston, had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie? It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation and dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.

woops! bwahahaha! thats the huey lewis scene

this was from the whitney part..haw haw

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:01 pm

timmay wrote: this was from the whitney part..haw haw

Nope.

The "Whitney" scene was at Paul Allen's place where he had the hooker and the red haired bitch over. He was waxing on about Whitney as they were dyking it on the couch.

YD · Post by YD » Thu Aug 24, 2006 7:22 pm

sorry for the misses 'goo

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Did you know that Whitney Houston's debut LP, called simply, Whitney Houston, had 4 number one singles on it? Did you know that, Christie? It's hard to choose a favorite among so many great tracks, but "The Greatest Love of All" is one of the best, most powerful songs ever written about self-preservation and dignity. Its universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it's not too late to better ourselves. Since, Elizabeth, it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves. It's an important message, crucial really. And it's beautifully stated on the album.

damndumbdodoself

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Aug 25, 2006 1:26 am

Nope, that's not it either.

T1B

"And IIIIII-EEE-AYYYYY Will Always Hate JOOOOOOOS"

"And IIIIII-EEE-AYYYYY Will Always Hate JOOOOOOOS"

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