US Open

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:02 am

L45B wrote:Back before he coached AA, Gilbert wrote a great book called "Winning Ugly"

And based on Andre's history with babes, that must have been a dating handbook.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 8:16 am

Marcos Baghdatis

Caption ... ?

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:50 am

Jesus......
Reading all that was like re-living a shitty segment on Rome's Radio Show. In time Men's Tennis might almost be as riveting to watch as fishing.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 7:12 pm

RACK old bald guys with bad backs.

Andre is my hero.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 7:15 pm

Y2K wrote:Jesus......
Reading all that was like re-living a shitty segment on Rome's Radio Show. In time Men's Tennis might almost be as riveting to watch as fishing.

I dunno...

Last night match was hard to beat, especially when baghdad bob got all cramped up in the 5th set. Dude just doubled up with leg cramps but had to keep on playing.

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Sep 01, 2006 9:00 pm

Old mental images die hard. This

pretty much sums up in a nutshell why I never rooted for Agassi, back in the day. I always preferred Sampras, who dressed more conventionally for a tennis player, and never tried to make a spectacle of himself, just wanted to beat your ass.

I took my bar review course in 1994, so of course, I don't remember that much from it anymore. But I still remember this line, from one of the instructors describing the legal status of assignees:

There's a very easy way to remember this. Assignee rhymes with Agassi, and Agassi always loses.

I LMAO at that one at the time.

Still, Andre deserves credit for turning his career around in the second half. We can debate the reasons why until the cows come home, but the bottom line is that he did it, and he deserves props for doing it. It feels kind of strange rooting for him now, but I can't help it this time around.

Rack Pop's ranking of modern tennis players, btw -- pretty dead on at this point, imho.

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 10:01 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:
Y2K wrote:Jesus......
Reading all that was like re-living a shitty segment on Rome's Radio Show. In time Men's Tennis might almost be as riveting to watch as fishing.
I dunno...

Last night match was hard to beat, especially when baghdad bob got all cramped up in the 5th set. Dude just doubled up with leg cramps but had to keep on playing.

Interesting reason to watch any sport, when you think about it for a while:

Last night's NASCAR race was hard to beat, especially when that driver's brains were splattered over the first corner in the 5th lap

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Sep 01, 2006 10:47 pm

Y2K wrote:Jesus......
Reading all that was like re-living a shitty segment on Rome's Radio Show. In time Men's Tennis might almost be as riveting to watch as fishing.

Yeah, the athletic ability required to play tennis and fish at the highest level of competition is remarkably similar.

Great take...not so much.

I didn't watch the match, but from all reports it was a classic. Rack a 36 year old Agassi wearing down a much younger, quality opponent in a 5 set marathon.

Go Andre!

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:09 am

Band Wagon wrote:The match, but from all reports it was a classic. Rack a 36 year old Agassi wearing down a much younger, quality opponent in a 5 set marathon.

Go Andre!

Quite obviously "Spit Bitch" is going outta style..............
Rome seems to be collecting quite a set of hungry parrots.

Ang · Post by **Ang** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:45 am

Sports news, like other news, sometimes goes immediatley to the disaster scenario...like the Baghdadis cramping or Agassi's bad back.

The match, all 3 hours and almost 4, was more great tennis than the disaster stuff. You either like it or you don't, but if you like tennis you would love that match. So many shots right on the line, guts out tennis. Glad to have seen it.

I've been a tennis fan for a long time, and didn't particularly like Agassi's first act. But once he came back and got into the game instead of going through the moves because he was supposed to...he's been really fun to watch because the real tennis player came out.

A great read that I only found because I was waiting forever near a table with an SI mag is..this article.

I don't think anyone expects an Agassi/Federer final like last year, but it's fun to see him play so well this far, and put in 2 matches so far that will be replayed on rain out days in the US Open for like...forever til there's a better one. Then again, you gotta wonder how long that back can hold out with the kind of play it's taken to get this far.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:15 am

The phantorino wrote:
Mister Bushice wrote:
Y2K wrote:Jesus......
Reading all that was like re-living a shitty segment on Rome's Radio Show. In time Men's Tennis might almost be as riveting to watch as fishing.
I dunno...

Last night match was hard to beat, especially when baghdad bob got all cramped up in the 5th set. Dude just doubled up with leg cramps but had to keep on playing.
Interesting reason to watch any sport, when you think about it for a while:

Last night's NASCAR race was hard to beat, especially when that driver's brains were splattered over the first corner in the 5th lap

Not really what I meant. If you had watched it, you'd know what I meant.

Dude was actually beating andre, and had come back from two sets down 4-0 in the third. He was hitting the lines and running down everything andre hit, then his thigh cramped up BIG time. It doubled him over, but he could not stop playing (because of the rules) he had to finish the game. He stretched it out, wincing in pain, and hobbled around for 60 seconds, then spent the next several minutes fighting off Andres serves and returns, staying in the game and forcing several more deuce points despite the injury and obvious pain.
He got treated after that game and came back in still limping a little, but still managed several aces on 124 MPH serves. Dude was just a warrior. He never gave up.

But andre played smart points ( at least most of the time) and eventually the injury caused baghdad bob to lose. He had lost his accuracy, but it was a hell of an effort all the same.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:24 am

It is for this (among other) exact reason that I always maintain that tennis is one of the most demanding sports to play.

If a player cramps (or has some other physical or mental problem) in basketball, soccer, baseball , or whatever ....... what happens to him ... ?

Coach takes him out.

Not tennis.

You suck it up and play balls to the wall for the entirety of the match or you get your brains kicked in.

Top tennis pros are among the athletes to be most admired in the world of sports.

Studs.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:46 am

Top tennis pros are among the athletes to be most admired in the world of sports.

Of course....
Born from the nations best Country Clubs (Avg. Sunday Brunch $14.50)
some special athlete finds his game.
Athlete makes "game" his job
Fans of Athlete are in awe over shit dude has been doing every day for years and thinks 36 is old because some media whore on CBS said so.
Special Dude works laying wood to hot women in NYC into an injury with commentary.
This is different than Disney's Superstar's on Ice featuring (insert retireing Olympic Champ here) how?

Tough game..........
Private Lessons/Coach Required.........

Good for them..........

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:57 am

36 is very old for tennis because it's a one man v. one man sport.

You don't think a 24 yr old man has more in the tank than a 36 yr old .... ?

If you can't grasp that you're a little light above the neck, guy.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 9:21 am

poptart wrote:36 is very old for tennis because it's a one man v. one man sport.
You don't think a 24 yr old man has more in the tank than a 36 yr old .... ?

If you can't grasp that you're a little light above the neck, guy.

Tart,
Give me a fucking break.........
It's Tennis...
next to Golf this is the ultimate non-contact sport, the only injury Tennis player deals with is because they were playing their Pong Game really hard........:bigMedsrolleyes:

Tennis isn't some "brutal" sport and somehow I'm supposed to be super impressed by...

You don't think a 24 yr old man has more in the tank than a 36 yr old .... ?

Who gives a fuck... The guy's still playing the game because he can, he's probably not as quick as he used to be but since he's got the on court resume playing the games best, money to buy any coach or trainer needed to win and the drive to still play, all of an old decrepid age of 36?

Good for Tennis Stud but hardly anything overly impressive.
I hope he wins.
This ultimate sports moment will make at least 2 days of "filler" material instead of 1 as it's stuffed into numerous Gamebreaks in sports that actually don't induce "deep sleep" or injury to the first person to call dibs on the Remote.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 9:54 am

It's Tennis...
next to Golf this is the ultimate non-contact sport

In a stunning display of naivity, some people like to compare tennis to golf.
It's a piss-poor comparison.

Golf is a skill sport.
It requires a degree of physical effort, yes, but it is not in the same realm as tennis.

Tennis requires great skill AND physical effort.
Just because nobody gets hit in the mouth during a match doesn't mean that the physicality of the sport should be underestimated.
To do so is a gross misjudgement.
Yeah, I've played a LOT, and I know of what I speak.

In team sports a 36 yr old can 'mask' the growing physical limitations brought on by age, but in tennis it is not possible.
There is nowhere to hide.

If you don't want to appreciate the top tennis players then that is one thing.
Everyone has their opinion.
However, to not recognize the inherent disadvantage a 36 yr old has v., say a 24 yr old, in an individual sport requiring strength and stamina then you are not the brightest bulb on the tree.

Like Agassi still kicking ass on kids near half his age, I bet I'll still be kicking ass in here on slopes like you when I'm near 60.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 5:27 pm

Yep, I've played both sports (golf and tennis) and agree with Tart. 4 hours walking on a golf course in the heat, as opposed to 4 hours running on concrete in the heat? No contest.

Not to mention that there is no time in tennis to assess shot strategy except while the point is being played, while in golf you do that prior to each shot. In golf it's a one shot deal - you are one and done. The equivalent to a golf shot in tennis is an ace, but that's just one point in one game of one set. In a competitive tennis match you could easily hit the ball in one set as many times as you would in an entire round of golf, unless you suck at golf like I do. ;)

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:02 pm

Y2K wrote: It's Tennis...
next to Golf this is the ultimate non-contact sport, the only injury Tennis player deals with is because they were playing their Pong Game really hard........:bigMedsrolleyes:

Tennis isn't some "brutal" sport and somehow I'm supposed to be super impressed by...

Just a hunch, but I'll wager that you've never even stepped on a tennis court or held a racket in your hand your entire life. Yes? Yet here you are passing judgement on a sport that you obviously don't know a damn thing about. Dude, if you had to stand on the other side of the net and face the serve of even an average week-end hacker, you'd shit your drawers and run home to mommy...after said hacker took your lunch money.

As for Ping Pong, I'm quite sure that any 10 year old could punk you at that also.

Tell us Y2K, just what athletic activity are you good at, besides spanking the monkey?

socal · Post by **socal** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:21 pm

War Wagon wrote:Tell us Y2K, just what athletic activity are you good at, besides spanking the monkey?

Wags, you best step the fuck off as Y2K is gifted in the arts of battery chucking, transcontinental moves, and 16 ounce curls.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:31 pm

just what athletic activity are you good at, besides spanking the monkey?

So whitey - when you and your friends do circle jerks you considered that a team sport?

Jerking off an athletic activity? What the fuck kind of freak are you?

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 2:21 am

Mister Bushice wrote:
just what athletic activity are you good at, besides spanking the monkey?
So whitey - when you and your friends do circle jerks you considered that a team sport?

Jerking off an athletic activity? What the fuck kind of freak are you?

Whitey's more stuck the in the middle pep and cheer girl for his circle jerk heros, even at his age he still has the talent to take multiple money shots for the team. Andre would be proud that Whitey is still at the top of his game at such an advanced age, but one could imagine it was the result of hours and hours of practice. At least he gets as many Protein Shakes as he wants for free.
Agassi has the "US Open"......
Whitey Wagon's got the "Open Wide".........

"Just Do It"

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:31 am

Y2K, you pretty much suck at this smack thingy, but at least try to have a decent sports take now and then, will you please? This is, afterall, a message board based on sports.

Is that all you got?

Don't make me pull a Dins and threaten to ignore you. Bitchshice (whom you unwisely tried to latch onto) crossed that threshold long ago.

Don't like tennis? Don't frigging watch it then, but stay the fuck out of a thread devoted to it...a thread where when you show your ignorance, you'll get your shit hammered in a backhanded way by the likes of Ang...bless her heart, Angela must think that you suck.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:41 am

Here ya' go Y2Jackoff, read this for instructive purpose about having a take that doesn't suck.

Ang wrote:Sports news, like other news, sometimes goes immediatley to the disaster scenario...like the Baghdadis cramping or Agassi's bad back.

The match, all 3 hours and almost 4, was more great tennis than the disaster stuff. You either like it or you don't, but if you like tennis you would love that match. So many shots right on the line, guts out tennis. Glad to have seen it.

I've been a tennis fan for a long time, and didn't particularly like Agassi's first act. But once he came back and got into the game instead of going through the moves because he was supposed to...he's been really fun to watch because the real tennis player came out.

A great read that I only found because I was waiting forever near a table with an SI mag is..this article.

I don't think anyone expects an Agassi/Federer final like last year, but it's fun to see him play so well this far, and put in 2 matches so far that will be replayed on rain out days in the US Open for like...forever til there's a better one. Then again, you gotta wonder how long that back can hold out with the kind of play it's taken to get this far.

Saw the replay during the rain delay today, Ang.

Great stuff. Bagdaddy played his freaking heart out despite the cramps, but it wasn't enough against Andre the Assasin. As I wrote in my opening post, the Open is some great theater.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 4:23 am

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaa

Whitey,
Just because you're a sniveling dipshit that whimpers when you get what you ask for you can feel free to shut the fuck up with your so called "Smack Smarts" I'll post what I want whenever or wherever I want and if you don't like it please refrain from thinking I actually give a fuck. Whitey talking about shitting on threads is the ultimate Pot/Kettle argument, maybe Whitey's spends to much time helping fellow forklift artists over the fence or he's just to fucking stupid to realize what a whimpering pussy he is...... who cares.

Your Smack sucks
This is a sports board and you're smack isn't appropriate.....
If you don't like Tennis go away.....

What the fuck is wrong with you? Quite obviously God was unkind and dealt you the genetic makeup so seriously fucked up that you make kids in the Special Olympics look like Steven Hawkings.
Whitey,
There's always openings for T1B's next kneeling Bitch and as is the usual you are a frontrunner setting the bar to unreachable heights. .
Whitey says..
"Bring it!"

Why doesn't it surprise anyone here that you are so full of your self absorbed myopic bravado that you're convinced you are something more than the an absolute laughing stock? With work Whitey you'll might make it up to someones sock puppet but not until you get used by Jess in a porn induced jerk session.

Ignore me Whitey......
It really works out well for you in the long run.
having to beat to a bloody pulp what few working Brain Cells a Pathetic Douchebag like you still posess isn't a pretty sight ..............
but it has to be done because that's how we roll here.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 4:36 am

Pathetic...

Christ, you're a mess.

Try to quit slobbering all over your keyboard next time before you pound that sloped forehead on the monitor.

Idiot.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:00 am

War Wagon wrote:Pathetic...

Christ, you're a mess.

Try to quit slobbering all over your keyboard next time before you pound that sloped forehead on the monitor.

Idiot.

Sorry I made you cry Whitey.....
A White flag works better and we don't hear the sobbing in the background.

get back to your tennis chat

Pussy

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 5:30 am

White flag? Don't flatter yourself, putz.

You may have somehow managed to convince yourself that you're something of an icon around these boards, but pulling your pants down and giving you a snuggie is waaay too fucking easy.

Sucks for you that jtr isn't on the other end of this exchange, huh? That's all you can handle.

You're just another dumbfuck pounding his caved in chest on a message board. You seem to think you're "all that" and a bag of chips. In reality you're just another punk craving attention, but not an ounce of cattle to go with that hat emblazoned in bright red letters that says "I'm a dumbfuck".

You may now go back to your regularly scheduled program of sucking your own dick, loser.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 6:01 am

ChumWagon,
Save your drivel for some stupid fuck who'll buy it.
I was talking about tennis and age and silly shit like that and you opened your piehole and got punked.
There's no "Bravado" or "Bode" in flushing a Simpleton Turd like you because you
tend to do all the swirling and Spinning your way down the Shitter on your own.
This is what makes you so "Special" and stuff.
I figured appropriately calling you "pussy" would get a few of those overheated synapses to fire sooner or later
and you would catch up with the rest of us "normal' folk.
Honestly MeltWagon
"Going Dins" was your best bet all along.

It's to bad you're to fucking stupid to follow your own advice.

Bitch....

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sun Sep 03, 2006 7:34 pm

You seem to think you're "all that" and a bag of chips.

I see you brought your "A" game today, whitey.

:rolleyes:

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 12:59 am

I wathced the last couple of sets or matches orgames or wahteveer constitutes the near end of a tennis "game" with Mr Graff today and uhh...all I have to say is ...theres crying in tennis!,ugh enough said about that sport.

Tennis is right up there with soccer in the acting prima donna man puss type sports. I love playing soccer and tennis,but shit,give me a break with this acting crap.

Btw,steefi looked kinda hot today

Ang · Post by **Ang** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 6:34 am

Weird route the thread took. But the whole idea of tennis being a sport for wusses just needs a reset on how freaking fast they hit the ball. Tell me a guy whose on his last legs and can still return a 130 mph serve in the court, and then get back and return again and again is a wuss? I don't think so.

The good thing is that Agassi had his moment and he left on his terms. He admitted that early on in the match his back was hurting bad and he knew it was his last match. After the career that he had, and thinking on how other stars of their games have left much more stoically and then did other stupid things to try and come back, I think that a few moments of crying with his fans cheering is just a good way to cap it well. With the tears and the cheers, he somehow retired with more grace than anyone else I can think of not only in the tennis world, but in other sports as well.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Mon Sep 04, 2006 11:38 am

Meanwhile R. Federer is through to the 4th round and hasn't even broken a sweat.
Three consecutive straight set wins, and none of those sets even going to a tiebreaker.
I don't see anyone on his side of the draw that can seriously challenge him.
Possible exception might be M. Safin, who if he's in the zone, can be a spectacular shotmaker.
The American crowd would like to think that J. Blake can give him a go, but I don't see it.
He's not in Federer's class.

The bottom half is looking at a very possible Hewitt v. Roddick quarterfinal match and THAT could be fun.
Nadal will be waiting to play the winner of that in the semis.

I'm going out on a very brittle limb and calling Roger Federer to win the tournament.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 2:36 pm

I know Derron’s gonna call me gay, but this is a nice-looking man:

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 3:23 pm

McFly?

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 7:24 pm

Didnt that middle guy try to Karate kick Dave Lettermen in the 80's?

Ang · Post by **Ang** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:44 am

poptart, I hear ya. No one looks ready to beat Federer, although Nadal has had pretty good success at it so far. Federer is just a tennis machine, the whole deal of perfection in all the shots and shot selection. When folks hang with him for one set or two, it always seems like he's just tuning up for the kill. Plus, he beats Mauresmo for the best looking guy on the court :).

Not to dis Maursesmo, but she does look pretty masculine, as a few folks have pointed out already. She has upped her game so much in the last year or so that she IS the woman on the tour right now. Not that the others are bad..many are right on her heels, but she has two grand slams this year, and seems to have gotten over the yips she had in earlier years. And even though all her still photos and even her game face look so masculine, when you see her in interviews her character comes out and she comes across as a a really sincere young woman just doing what she loves. I really liked what she said the other day about having to face Serena so early in the tourney, and she just laughed and said...well, someone had to.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 4:19 pm

Was it just my imagination, or was there a tennis player in the US Open with the last name, "Bag-of-Donuts?"

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:31 pm

poptart wrote:It is for this (among other) exact reason that I always maintain that tennis is one of the most demanding sports to play.

If a player cramps (or has some other physical or mental problem) in basketball, soccer, baseball , or whatever ....... what happens to him ... ?

Coach takes him out.

Not tennis.

You suck it up and play balls to the wall for the entirety of the match or you get your brains kicked in.

Top tennis pros are among the athletes to be most admired in the world of sports.

Studs.

No, guys don't get taken out of soccer games unless they've torn something, or tactics change.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:40 pm

The phantorino wrote: No, guys don't get taken out of soccer games unless they've torn something, or tactics change.

Right.

Soccer player flops on ground writhing in agony after being "tackled" and they bring a stretcher out to haul his ass off the "pitch". 5 minutes later Allah has miraculously healed his injuries and he's back in the game.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 10:49 pm

Ang wrote:poptart, I hear ya. No one looks ready to beat Federer...

Roddick might have something for that Federer feller, Ang. Are they on the same side of the bracket?

At least I'm hoping so. It's high time an American wins this U.S. Open tournament, and Andy has raised his game a notch or two since being under Jimmy Connor's tutelage.