It's a small world

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:20 pm

Okay, I've got a big problem. Probably the shittiest thing that I ever did in my life occurred 15 years ago and it's about to come back to bite me in the ass...I just know it.

Way back when, my lease at my apartment was up and I had a gap of about three weeks before I could move into my new place, so I was fu*cked as far as living arrangements go. This dude that I knew from work told me that I could crash on his couch for as long as I needed to, but he'd have to clear it with his wife and sister (who lived there also) first. The next day, he tells me that both were cool with it, so starting that night I began crashing there.

Dude's fat sister made it clear from pretty much minute one that she'd take my hog in any orifice. She was fat, but alright-looking in the face. But I needed to stay there for three weeks, so no way was I fuc*king my situation up by porking some fatty, even one bold enough to show me the size of her tongue while describing her prowess at giving head.

So... One night while the husband was out working, it was just me and the two ladies at home watching tv. They start giggling and asking me questions like what if the sister just blew me and I didn't have to nail her. Would I be down for that? I said "No, because eventually she'd be begging for the hog or get resentful."

Then the wife asked, "Well what would you do if you woke up one night and I was sucking your dick?" She totally sounded like she was just goofing around, so I figured I'd play back and said, "That would depend on whether your husband was home or not. Hahaha."

Errrr...how come I'm the only one laughing? - me to self

After that she wouldn't leave me alone. I'd wake up with her hand in my pants, her tongue in my mouth, etc. As soon as her husband was out the door, she'd pounce on me, and I'd be fighting her off, saying, "Are you fuc*king nuts?! I am *not* doing this."

Then one day, for some reason, I basically just gave in. She had worn me down and I hadn't been laid in a few months, so I agreed to nail her in a hotel room. We got a room that night and had sex for a few hours. Afterwards I felt like shi*t. I couldn't believe I had done it. Worst part was, she kept making it clear that she was expecting it to be a regular thing from that point on. But there was no way *that* was going to happen.

I ended up staying only a few more days. Every day when hubby was gone at work she'd want me to fu*ck her there in the house. When I refused time after time, she got pissed and started being nasty. She started fu*cking with me by saying that she might be pregnant, then told me that I should probably get an AIDS test.

I was outta there. I don't remember where I stayed for the last week or so because it was so long ago, but there was no way that I could stay there any longer. Too much guilt with what I had done and too much psychotic action from dude's wife and his sister with the Gene Simmons tongue.

So here's the problem... I just found out that my older sister has been dating the now-divorced husband for quite some time and that they're in love and quite serious.

Now I just *know* that when they got divorced that his wife threw it in his face that she had sex with me. I *know* it. That's just the type of chick that she is. And that's what made it particularly stupid for me to nail her in the first place...but I did. So I just know that at some point at some family event he's going to ask me about it when we're alone. You know, the "Hey, you mind if we take a walk for a few minutes" type of thing?

I know his OL told him about it, but she's famous for being an outstanding liar. He knew it, everyone knew it. She was one of those gossipers that used to make shit up to talk about if there was nothing good going on. So I could act shocked and tell him that I have no idea what he's talking about and be totally believable or I could come clean. This isn't something that's eating me up because it happened when I was 19 and I'm now 35, but I do feel like I owe it to him to tell him the truth. Then again, there's another part of me telling me to take it to my grave...

PrimeX · Post by **PrimeX** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:51 pm

Pics of the bitches please.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:53 pm

mvscal wrote:Well now he's fucking your sister so you're even.

No worries.

RACK

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:55 pm

If he's still your friend, and/or you think he might tie you up behind the car & drag you, stick with "everybody know what a liar that bitch is" story

Otherwise, feel free to make his life miserable by telling him the truth

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:56 pm

PrimeX wrote:Pics of the bitches please.

I know, rules, but it was 15 years ago. Gimme a break.

Well now he's fucking your sister so you're even.

No worries.

RACK

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 3:57 pm

Cuda wrote:If he's still your friend, and/or you think he might tie you up behind the car & drag you, stick with "everybody know what a liar that bitch is" story

Otherwise, feel free to make his life miserable by telling him the truth

I joined the service shortly after that and haven't seen the guy since.

JCT · Post by **JCT** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:02 pm

Dear Penthouse, this one time...

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:02 pm

Oh.

You're talking about IRIE, aren't you?

You never tolds us you were used to be a meth dealer

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:10 pm

Since they have divorced he's probably aware of the fact that she's a lying, whore, cunt. You telling him won't make any difference. Deny, deny, deny!!!

As an aside...whenever a broad fucked me over, another had to pay the price. The follow up chick never got treated well. Whatch out for your sister is what I'm saying.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:11 pm

So Mike, dude invites you into his house, and you plug his old lady. Is your buddy’s name Russ?

Ace · Post by **Ace** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:25 pm

Best thing to do is lie. No need to have to relive old mistakes. If the wife was a lying cunt, then he'll believe you.

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:35 pm

At least you wont be tempted to screw his new girlfriend...or are you?

Solo · Post by **Solo** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:35 pm

WolverineSteve wrote:Since they have divorced he's probably aware of the fact that she's a lying, whore, cunt. You telling him won't make any difference. Deny, deny, deny!!!

Good advice, I'd take it mike.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:38 pm

So I just know that at some point at some family event he's going to ask me about it when we're alone. You know, the "Hey, you mind if we take a walk for a few minutes" type of thing?

I have no personal experience with this type of scenario, but if daytime TV is correct, I think you're supposed to throw a chair at him and then beat him with your shoe.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:43 pm

Mike,

Look at it this way. At least he doesn't have to worry about you nailing his OL again.

Does he?

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:02 pm

mvscal wrote:Well now he's fucking your sister so you're even.

No worries.

Another RACK for that

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:10 pm

I'll take "option C."

Look up psycho-ex, and take her as your date to the next family function.

Why be ordinary, when you can be extraordinary?

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:30 pm

[align=center]

[/align]

OCmike wrote:
Then one day, for some reason, I basically just gave in. She had worn me down and I hadn't been laid in a few months, so I agreed to finger her in a hotel room. We got a room that night and I fingerbanged her for few hours. Afterwards I felt like shi*t. I couldn't believe I had done it. Worst part was, my finger smelled like WWII cheese and then just fell the fuck off my hand.

Rip City

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:34 pm

mvscal wrote:Well now he's fucking your sister so you're even.

No worries.

RACK

Deny it, if he asks. If he wants to rumble, then just beat the shit out of him.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:39 pm

WWII Cheese? GAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:44 pm

Ace wrote:Best thing to do is lie. No need to have to relive old mistakes. If the wife was a lying cunt, then he'll believe you.

Dude: Did you fuck my ex wife?

Mike: You mean when I stayed at your house that time? No way. I would NEVER fuck her at your house, man. She was constantly trying to get me in bed while I was there but I wouldn't, not as a guest in your house man! Hell, I even woke up on your couch with her trying to do me a couple of times but I told her no everytime she tried it. Then she got pissed and started threatening me, and that's why I left early"

^ THAT, worded correctly, is no lie. :)

You don't have to see the bitch anymore (hopefully), but you might have to live with this guy in your family for a long time. No sense in making an enemy for something that happened so long ago.

PS

He doesn't post here too, does he?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:48 pm

Ace wrote:Best thing to do is lie. No need to have to relive old mistakes. If the wife was a lying cunt, then he'll believe you.

There's the small part of the dude's sister being around to verify this shit. Mike's only chance is that she went Momma Cass on a ham sandwich before having a chance to verify the ex-OL's story.

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:35 pm

Maybe a meat wash from the pig would've been the wise choice.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:55 pm

Yeah, really...I was worried that you greased the hog while the wife watched and your friend walked in or something.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:59 pm

So your troll posted this?

YD · Post by YD » Wed Sep 20, 2006 7:16 pm

bwahahahaa! @ url of that pic

I lmao

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:24 pm

OCmike wrote:
After that she wouldn't leave me alone. I'd wake up with her hand in my pants, her tongue in my mouth, etc. As soon as her husband was out the door, she'd pounce on me, and I'd be fighting her off, saying, "Are you fuc*king nuts?! I am *not* doing this."

Bri is right when he mentioned that she has a sister to verify the story. If you lie about it, you would have fucked up twice. Just don't bring up the subject when you are around him again.

Don't beat yourself up/off about this. If she was a whore, then do you think you are the only guy she had an extra-marital relationship with? Think of it that way. Some girls are wired that way and your buddy made a mistake marrying a bar whore. You just helped him out by speeding up the divorce process.

Feel better?

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:25 pm

Any bitch with a Gene Simmons tounge that wants to knob me is going to have that pleasure. Braggin about it only brings it on more.

Deny fucking the lying whore. Pyshco women suck and deserve any shit they get.

Surprised you express guilt... that means your a sensitive caring faggot, not a real man.

When I was a young man I had a girlfriend who loved to fuck, a couple times per day. Now that should have been good enough for a young man of 20, but nooo......a bud's girlfriend expressed some interest, so I would go by and fuck her before work, then fuck my girl friend after work, and then stop by late that night and fuck the other chick, OR her roomate who was just a fucking cock monster.

The girlfriends cousin from somewhere came to visit and she just had to suck my dick a couple of times...that was a pretty good year... never got found out, had plenty of pussy to back up and fall outs when the girlfriend split.

Did I feel bad ???? Hell no....I am a man...

When I managed Little League, I looked in the stands and there in the same row sat my wife, my ex wife, my girl friend before ex wife, and girlfriend between ex wife and wife. All had kids on the team. I told my coach, who had been my coach and was about 65, that I had fucked all 4 of those women in that row, he laughed his ass of and told me I was fucked if they started talking. Still not guilty....

Pussy is pussy....

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:29 pm

Derron, I'm not reading all of that, you Cowper's Cowboy.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:57 pm

Derron wrote: When I managed Little League, I looked in the stands and there in the same row sat my wife, my ex wife, my girl friend before ex wife, and girlfriend between ex wife and wife. All had kids on the team.

Any of the skanks as for a paternity test?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 9:00 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Derron, I'm not reading all of that, you Cowper's Cowboy.

I got most of the way through the first sentence where he talked of having a man-tongue on his dick, and I bailed.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:06 pm

Is Derron trying to tell us something?

Again?

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:53 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Is Derron trying to tell us something?

Again?

That I got more pussy than you faggots combined ??? That your jealous ?? or you can't make shit up as good as I can ?? or that you go to the fag card when you think you can get over... not likely...

Any of the skanks as for a paternity test?

Since I am not like you bunch of mvscal want to be's, I only had children by one woman. The rest of them happend to have kid (s) of their own and I ended up with them on my team.

Derron, I'm not reading all of that, you Cowper's Cowboy.

I imagine not since you would be bummed that you did not get as much trim as I did, and your a faggot anyway, so ignore anything remotely heterosexual.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 1:03 am

Luther wrote:[align=center][/align]

So wrong...

BSmack wrote:Mike,

Look at it this way. At least he doesn't have to worry about you nailing his OL again.

Does he?

Less. If for no other reason than that my older sis is a stage 5 clinger.

quacker backer · Post by **quacker backer** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:46 pm

BSmack wrote:Mike,

Look at it this way. At least he doesn't have to worry about you nailing his OL again.

Does he?

rack

sick bastard

PrimeX · Post by **PrimeX** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 4:28 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:
So I just know that at some point at some family event he's going to ask me about it when we're alone. You know, the "Hey, you mind if we take a walk for a few minutes" type of thing?
I have no personal experience with this type of scenario, but if daytime TV is correct, I think you're supposed to throw a chair at him and then beat him with your shoe.

lol! Me rikey.

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:53 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:
Ace wrote:Best thing to do is lie. No need to have to relive old mistakes. If the wife was a lying cunt, then he'll believe you.
Dude: Did you fuck my ex wife?

Mike: You mean when I stayed at your house that time? No way. I would NEVER fuck her at your house, man. She was constantly trying to get me in bed while I was there but I wouldn't, not as a guest in your house man! Hell, I even woke up on your couch with her trying to do me a couple of times but I told her no everytime she tried it. Then she got pissed and started threatening me, and that's why I left early"

^ THAT, worded correctly, is no lie. :)

I agree with this. that skank just wanted to get into your dome, and she's still there after 15 years. Gotta Rack that, unfortunately

The phantorino · Post by **The phantorino** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:53 pm

[quote="Luther"][align=center]

[/align]

That's NOT Elin,

Tiger

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 9:41 pm

Derron wrote:Pussy is pussy....

Well, you'd know about that.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 9:43 pm

Nishlord wrote:
Derron wrote:Pussy is pussy....
Well, you'd know about that.

Is it not time for all good Limey cocksuckers to go to bed ?? Got to be 11 pm or so ??

Got your jerk material set out ??

T1B

It's a small world

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