Visited Best Buy Last Night

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:23 pm

-and experienced the usual attack of over stimulation and media-induced apoplexy.

Lately, for some inexplicable reason, I've had Scott Jopin piano rags running through my noggin. I stopped at the CD rack, looking vainly for music from the 1920s while my rib cage rattled to the thunderous rap music blaring overhead. The rappers talked about hoes and muthafuckas and jackin people up and sounded very pissed off about everything. Does the anger ever go away? Do they ever mellow out? If you gave them a puppy would they say stuff like "Yo-yo, muthafucka, I'm gonna fukken pet that muthafukkin puppy bitch and if he bites my finger I'm gonna pop a cap in his muthafukkin ass, know what I'm sayin??"

The "music" made me dizzy and I felt transformed into a weird amalgam of Hank Hill, Red Green, and the Simpson's Mr. Burns. I scowled at the overhead security cameras and pointed to the speakers, mouthing the words, "TURN THAT SHIT OFF!" which was transmitted to a teenaged security guard somewhere in a back room.

But no luck.

I moved on to the DVDs, looking for boxed sets of Sherlock Holmes, Beverly Hillbillies, and old Laurel and Hardy movies, but struck out on all three.

A young sales gal ran up and introduced herself as Christine, but she was unable to help. I asked her about all the tents outside in the cold parking lot and if Best Buy was adding sporting goods to their line of products.

"Oh no," she said, "Those are people who are waiting in line to buy the new Play Station III. They've been out there for over a week."

I said, "They're camping? On the cement? To buy video games?

We were standing near a shelf containing hundreds of copies of DVDs called Hostel, SAW, SAW II, SAW BLEEPS AND BLOOPERS, etc. -- movies where people are tortured to death on camera for the entertainment of teenagers.

"That makes me feel sad," I added.

She said "Oh no, the new Playstation is really cool. You can drive dune buggies in the Grand Canyon."

"If I can help you with anything else just let me know, and my name is Christine!" she said happily.

I made my way to the TVs, all costing thousands of dollars, some the size of garage doors, and watched with alarm at the nostril hairs, yellow teeth, and potential squamous cell carcinomas displayed in high definition on a replay of the World Series. "Geeze, that pitcher ought to see a dermotologist," I thought to myself.

"Are you looking for a new Hi-Def TV?" a clerk asked.

I asked if the one in front of me was really $385 and he said no, that was the price of the stand. The TV retailed for over $5 grand.

I left the TV aisle reeling, hoping to play "Polar Bowler" on a PC and soothe my jangled nerves, but after the fourth salesman pestered me I gave up and went home.

Once safe on the couch, my wife wrapped me in a blanket and gave me a glass of wine, but it was hard not to think of all those poor nerds out there in sleeping bags, enduring another chilly night for the chance to plunk down $500 bones and drive Playstation dune buggies in the desert.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:33 pm

Ho christ. There were tents out side the Best Buy near where I live too. I think I'll get up 1/2 hour before the store opens on Friday and stand right in front of the glass door and yell out "first" and see if the smelly campers try anything. As far as I know there ain't no law that says pitched tents filled with stinky campers have priority over pushy assholes with good timing.

Then I think I'll buy a PS and sell it to the last tent in line. That ought to rile em up.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:51 pm

Fester,

Do the following

1. Download a bit torrent client http://www.bittornado.com/

2. Dowload and execute this torrent file. http://isohunt.com/download/12746313/the+entertainer

3. Enjoy listening to the Complete Piano Works of Scott Joplin

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 7:57 pm

I've been boycotting Best Buy for about 3 years now, ever since I realized that:

1. It takes at least an hour to get any customer service.
2. When you do finally get somebody to pay any attention, they don't know WTF they're talking about.
3. When you figure out what you want to buy, there's about a -10% chance that it's in stock (at least for laptop computers).

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:09 pm

B - Thanks for the tip.

As for customer service, the sales teenagers were literally chasing me around the store with their "Can I help you Can I help you?"

Whatever happened to letting bums like myself wander around and play with all the toys in peace?

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:57 pm

When you do finally get somebody to pay any attention, they don't know WTF they're talking about.

Customer: My computer's running slow and needs a tune up, I might have a virus and adware stuff. Can you clean it up and remove all the bad stuff.

Geek Squad Dipshit: Do you have all your factory software and have you backed everything up so we can restore back to it was the day you bought it?

Customer: What happens to all my bookmarks and work programs like Quickbooks?

GSD: It all gets deleted

C: What? There's nothing broken, it just needs some clean up and to make sure everything is in order. How long are you going to have my machine to do this?

GSD: 1 week or more, we are really swamped at the moment, to do it right a certified tech should do the reinstall and restore because it's a difficult task even for people familiar with computers.

C: After I back all the stuff up don't I just put in Disk 1 from the set and reboot then follow instructions? Are you sure I have to reinstall EVERYTHING?

GSD: Absolutely, that's what any qualified PC Tech would do to make sure it's runs at top performance and that you are safe from outside threats coming from the Internet. We can do a backup for you for $150.00 and the reinstall is only another $150 and we throw in a free copy of AVG Antivirus software and Adaware Personal for picking the Geek Squad to handle your serious situation.

C: Really 300 dollars for all that work, that's pretty cheap...Thanks....

GSD: No Problem.......We are here to help Have a good day, We'll call when it's ready...

GeekTwat #2 comes out of the back room after playing on the Internet for most his shift....
I'll have this done in about 10 minutes and throw it up on the top shelf, wanna play some Dungeons and Dragons while the server does the autosave and reload on these machines or look to see who's got the best Porn on these bitches? We might get lucky and get some Homemade stuff these idiots left on their drive.

GSD: Porn of course! then made we'll take the VW on a "Service Call" and jerk each other off before our shifts over.

GT2: God I love this job, you think these people will ever figure this scam out?

GSD: BWAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAA! Not a chance with all the excellent training we got through the Company.
I just wish I can finally fiqure out where to plug in this cool USB Flash Drive.....

GT2: Yeah dontcha hate that shit, I wish these damn things were easier to work on. Whoever invented Plug and Play is a fucking idiot.

GSD: Word dawg..... check this out dude's got pics of his ole ladies snatch wide open while she's taking it in the ass...
Go warm up the Beetle Doug....................

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:08 am

Best Buy--not
when we first moved here we had to buy a washer, dryer, and electric range--first stop was a Best Buy--
the sales kid tells me I can get them delivered
in a week to a week and a half---
wrong answer-- NO DEAL
--we go to Sears and that guy says --how about
tomorrow afternoon ???
DEAL !!

Cross Traffic · Post by **Cross Traffic** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 12:23 pm

BB sucks, they hassle you way too much at checkout. Just tell me the total, and don't sell me shit like magazines at the register.

Funny story about the geeks:

http://www.idahostatesman.com/235/story/60399.html

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 1:47 pm

I usually do my homework when buying electronics so I don't worry about Best Buy's horrible service. If you cut out their employees, it's a wonderful store.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 2:38 pm

They should open a Best Buy that is staffed 100% with strippers.

The girls wouldn't be any less helpful about gadget purchasing than the sebaceous sacks they currently employ.

I'd gladly interrupt my shopping for an aisle dance. Hell, after 20-30 minutes in the store, a blonde with the right shape might have me halfway talked into a 5K TV purchase...or two.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:47 pm

Moreso than the people being tortured to death, well, Hostel really had some Grade A Bratislava T&A.

Sayin'.

Fester...the best read going these days.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Nov 17, 2006 4:52 pm

Cross Traffic wrote:BB sucks, they hassle you way too much at checkout. Just tell me the total, and don't sell me shit like magazines at the register.

Funny story about the geeks:

http://www.idahostatesman.com/235/story/60399.html

This line alone is freakin classic.

Yet a handful of hopeful dorks remained in line Thursday morning, willing to freeze for 24 hours in case one of the raffle winners didn't show up, or a credit card was rejected.