Fucked Up Holiday Food Traditions

[Truman]

Read Mikey’s Turkey Day thread and was pleased to find that the Truman Clan’s table fare was fairly typical… Er, with a few noted exceptions:

1) Noodles. Apparently, it was Written somewhere long-ago in the Clan annals that the Truman women-folk must endure burdensome hardship to bring this tasty complement to the holiday dinner table. Never mind that the perfect, ready-made substitute in frozen Reames Noodles lies patiently in-wait down at the local Price Chopper. Oh, no. Truman women must suffer countless hours of mixing, rolling, cutting, and simmering homemade noodles for the holiday to be deemed official. And yes, some of Todd’s giblets have been known to make the broth…

2) Oyster Casserole. Scalloped oysters would probably be a more apt description, but this mélange of oysters, saltines, heavy cream, and Worcestershire is a table favorite for the four of us that can tolerate the smell. At least it ain’t chitlins….

3) Meatloaf. Yes, we have couple of those in the family… Er, that is, those who wouldn’t touch poultry even if it tasted like chateaubriand. Fortunately, my step-mom bakes a mean meatloaf, and the leftovers are a nice change-of-pace from turkey sandwiches.

4) Smoked Turkey. Yeah, fried is all the rage these days, and roasted is traditional… But this is Kansas City. At least one bird to make the table has a 12-hour date with apple wood, hickory, and low fire.

Christmas Eve is a departure from the norm at the Truman’s as well. Slow-smoked ribs and brisket headline this sacred holiday’s menu, and are complemented with pit beans, cheesy corn-bake, Texas potatoes, and Cole slaw.

So what do y’all do differently? Anyone fry fish? Simmer a big pot of pasta and red sauce? Complement their bird with tortillas and molé? I’d sure like to hear about it….

[Goober McTuber]

For Christmas dinner my Sicilian father-in-law often serves lasagna.