3 Jokes...

[Jack]

Two Priests

Two priests attend the same church every Sunday. One drives and one rides a bike. One Sunday, the bike rider shows up without his bike.

The first priest asks, "Where is your bike?" The second answers, "I don't know if it was stolen or simply lost."

The first priest says, "Just recite the 10 Commandments when you are alone. When you get to Thou Shall Not Steal, you will get your bike back."

The next week, the second priest shows up with his bike. The first priest says, "See I told you it would work." The second priest says, "It sure did. When I got to Thou Shall not Commit Adultery, I remembered where I left it."

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Condom Size Tester

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.

"What size?" asks the clerk.

"Gee, I don't know."

"Go see Sophie in aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him in the crotch, and yells, "Medium!" The guy is mortified! He hurries over to pay and leaves quickly.

Another guy comes in to buy condoms, and gets sent to Sophie in aisle 4. Sophie grabs him and yells, "Large!" The guy struts over to the register, pays, and leaves.

A high school kid comes in to buy condoms.

"What size?" The kid embarassedly says "I've never done this before. I don't know what size." The clerk sends him over to Sophie in aisle 4. She grabs him and yells "Clean up in aisle 4!"


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GOLF


A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him, "What happened to you?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt."

"Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"

"I don't remember much after that..."

[The Seer]

#1 = D


#2 = D


#3 = A+

[Mikey]

Never met a woman who could actually bend a 5 iron.

[smackaholic]

Ever tell one she had an arse like a cow, while she was holding one? I'll wager you haven't.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Here's how I rated your jokes, Jack:

3 Wheels
3 Wheels
4 Wheels


Congratulations, Jack. This post earned a perfect "10" on my scroll wheel system.