Worst song ever recorded

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:23 am

This topic(sup Rack Fu) was actually discussed by me and some friends lately. I think we came up with the wrong answer, which we didn't realize until I was riding in the car with one of them, and then while flipping through stations, it happened...

It came on.

I wanna say the "band" is 4 Non Blondes, and I believe the song is What's Up.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Did we turn the station?

HELL NO!

It's like an accident on the side of the freeway -- it's nasty and gross, but for some reason, you just can't turn your head away...there's some warped desire to see the gore.

I just can't stop fucking laughing when I hear that song. I mean, it represents a breakdown on so many different levels of the recording industry, it really defied the odds by even existing.

First, someone actually had to keep their dinner down long enough to write it, no easy task.

Then, the had to get co-conspirators to help them with the arraingement.

Then...and this is the really amazing part -- they had to get some A&R guy to talk his boss into recording it.

The marketing department then had to get it airplay, from station managers that were obviously on A LOT of drugs. Hell, I've taken a lot of drugs, and I can't really say I've ever been so high to where that song would ever approach sounding even tolerable.

When you think about it, the odds of that many complete breakdowns in the long process involved in a commercially recorded song reaching the airwaves are astronomical.

Yet somehow, that complete and utter piece of crap somehow found its way past all of those obsticles, and to the airwaves. Never again in the future of mankind will the planets align so perfectly that such an offensively bad tune could ever find its way to assault my tympanic membranes again.

Or so I hope.

So it's with more than a small measure of reservation that I must actually RACK 4 Non Blondes for beating such steep odds, and actually getting that one through the cracks.

Fuck, drunk bitches in karaoke bars sing that song better than the stupid bitch that nauseates me every time that lump of shit gets played. LObsters being dropped in a pot of boiling water make more pleasant vocals that that silly hag does on her best day. Her "vocal stylings" make me long to hear someone dragging their nails across a chalkboard while simultaniously rubbing a chunk of styrofoam on their hair.

If anyone thinks they can name a worse song...

I'll call bullshit, and possibly do Luther's final bit of campaigning for him, and post some audio file.

Egads -- what the fuck was someone thinking when they watsed a penny's worth of plastic putting that crap on a CD?

socal · Post by **socal** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:36 am

Anything by Limpbizquit and/or Fred Durst could rival that song for utter shittiness.

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:38 am

Midnight At The Oasis would give What's Up a run for its money. That song has incredibly powerful earworm capabilities that render the listener unable to think of any other tune for weeks at a time. Send In The Clowns ranks a close second.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:46 am

Fine choices all, but I really don't think they can quite keep up with the 4 Reigning Queens.

Although...Limp Bizkit is pretty fucking offensively bad.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:46 am

We built this city on Rock and Roll
has been voted worst ever and I can't argue with that!!

Ice Ice Baby is another BAD song!

http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/news ... ongs_x.htm

Dasher · Post by **Dasher** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:46 am

"Holly Jolly Christmas", or whatever the hell it's called. If the old man plays that one more time, I'm going to hoofslap him in the nutsack.

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:03 am

I'm sticking with my current choice of Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake. Painful on so many levels.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:12 am

Pretty much anything recorded by Yoko Ono, unless bleeding ears and shattered glass is your thing.

for oldies, "afternoon delight" "Billy don't be a hero" "disco duck" come to mind.

"I'm too sexy" by those two faggot brother body builders and the safety dance by wang chung.

for current songs, "chasing cars" is right up there. what a simplistic, meaningless piece of crap that is.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:12 am

RACK Dins on that rant. Outstanding.

As an individual song, "What's Going On" is positively horrid. But, in terms of their overall, relatively long-term Godawful, how-the-fuck-is-this-being-played noise, 4 Non Blondes still have a way to go in terms of ringing the all-time suck bell.

No my friends, when it comes to just plain "KILL ME, FUCKING KILL ME NOW, BEFORE I KILL YOU AND EVERYONE AROUND ME, let us not forget the ever-timeless, ear-wrenching abortions in the form of two words -- take your pick on which two words are worse, depending on the state of your stomach on any given moment in which one is forced to endure a note of either one of them:

Air Supply

Celine Dion

Surely no two "artists" have ever sucked so bad yet astonishingly been given so much undeserved run and airplay in human history. And to think the true part of this nightmare is that both have untold millions of fucking tards buying their piles of shit and soaking it up like tidy bowl sponges. THAT, my friends, is the true horror of it.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:20 am

Dude, I'd not only listen to an entire Air Supply album before I'd be subjected to What's Up, I'd sing along.

Great choices all around, but you're all coming up short. Sorry, but that warbling through an assortment of vocal ranges that bitch has no business attempting, and the varied expanses of timbres, all of which are exceedingly bad...

No one can hang with 4 Non Blondes. Sure, a few have come close -- too numerous to name(although Elvis Costello shouldn't be left off this list), but they are the Karl Malone's to the 4 Evil Ones' Michael Jordan.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:20 am

The Safety Dance PWNS! - btw.

And it was by Men Without Hats, not Wang Chung.

And I generally HATED 80's dance music.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:28 am

I'm certain the rest of their work sux as well, but, bizkit's cover of an absolute rock anthem, the who's behind blue eyes has to outsuck anything else simply because it takes one of the best songs in rock and ruins it so thouroughly. Someone needs to kill them. How the fuk did they ever get a record contract?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:30 am

One entry starts VERY strong.

The poetic interlude with which "Knights in White Satin" begins...acrid smelly cheese, my friends. The song is not as bad as some of the others mentioned...

The Assassin · Post by **The Assassin** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:31 am

Kokomo-Beach Boys

game over.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:37 am

88 -- "yes" or "no" question --

Are you fucking smoking crack?

First off, while no one will argue that We Built This City doesn't blow the biggest goat balls known to man or goatkind, at least Jefferson Starship manages to sing that particular piece of shit in tune.

I have a hunch 4 Non Blondes even know what "in tune" is.

And frankly, I think both Guy Fawkes and IndyFrisco made less self-damning confessions on these boards.

I'm quite certain that if medical researchers ever decided to attempt to investigate links between bad music and cancer, they'd bombard the mice with that tune. And the mice would be begging for the cancer to stike its final blow and end their suffering.

But along the whole "accident on the freeway" theme...I clicked your youtube link. I find it very fitting that the stupid bitch dresses like she got turned down for a job at M2's House of Chimes for showing up for the interview inappropriately dressed.

Hell, I fuck about anything that moves, but I wouldn't nail that quasi-human, for fear my superlative sexual prowess might make her break out into song as she climaxed.

I only wish that some admin from the music industry would off that shit band.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:42 am

Oh, and unRACK the lot of you for letting this thread get this far without a mention of Achey Breaky Heart. So bad, it created a haircut fad in the South.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:51 am

Mister Bushice wrote:Pretty much anything recorded by Yoko Ono

phucc'nay

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:01 am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpp00gYI ... ed&search=

L45B · Post by **L45B** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:05 am

That "Breakfast at Tiffany's" song has always tempted me to commit a hate crime.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 6:55 am

That freaking Ring My Bell song that my dad made us listen to every summer trip up to maine and back.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:21 am

RadioFan wrote:RACK Dins on that rant. Outstanding.

As an individual song, "What's Going On" is positively horrid. But, in terms of their overall, relatively long-term Godawful, how-the-fuck-is-this-being-played noise, 4 Non Blondes still have a way to go in terms of ringing the all-time suck bell.

No my friends, when it comes to just plain "KILL ME, FUCKING KILL ME NOW, BEFORE I KILL YOU AND EVERYONE AROUND ME, let us not forget the ever-timeless, ear-wrenching abortions in the form of two words -- take your pick on which two words are worse, depending on the state of your stomach on any given moment in which one is forced to endure a note of either one of them:

Air Supply

Celine Dion

Surely no two "artists" have ever sucked so bad yet astonishingly been given so much undeserved run and airplay in human history. And to think the true part of this nightmare is that both have untold millions of fucking tards buying their piles of shit and soaking it up like tidy bowl sponges. THAT, my friends, is the true horror of it.

Sure, Air Supply and Celine are properly wretched, but ...hold on...

are you really suggesting that "What's Goin' On," by Marvin Gaye, is anything less than a classic among classics?

Are you totally RETARDED?

Here's a few actual Worst Song nominees:

Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Elton Queer and Kiki Dee

Just A Girl by No Doubt

Baby Hold On To Me by Eddie Money

The Ketchup Song by some Eurotrash slatterns

Joey by Bob Dylan

I'm Going To Let Her In by John Travolta

420 · Post by **420** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 9:39 am

88 wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiDpMfEeo3Q

I have always liked that song. I don't know why. It is a train wreck. But I enjoy that stuff too.

I have to agree that:

We built this city on Rock and Roll

is the single worst song ever recorded.

I'm with 88 on this one. I just watched the video and realized why San Francisco and Berkeley are like Siamese Twins and why the whole country has a disdain for everything "Bay Area".

"We fake it better than everyone else, and we still have a shit load of ben's in our pockets.

I also noticed that they were cranking a "black" Gibson Les Paul (my first guitar) the baddest of the bad ever made.

I also have a thing for lesbians, and why in the fuck am I still in Texas(College Station)??? I need to get over myself.

420 needs to get back to "Baghdad" for a little truth.

Which leads me to a quote from my boy... Adam Duritz

Link

Later on after the game, I was having a beer and some food with the coaches and their families in the stadium when usc somehow forgot to beat fucla and @#%$ the bed on their way to another national championship. All of the sudden, everyone looked at each other and realized we were co-champions of the Pac 10 conference for the 1st time since Joe Roth and Chuck Muncie's 1975 team did it. That's kind of a legendary team because Joe had cancer at the time and died of it the next year. Some of the people in the room had been there with Joe and Chuck. My 1st Cal game ever was the 1st Joe Roth memorial game against SC in 1977. It was suddenly, and unexpectedly, a very emotional room. There were tears in Dawg Turner's eyes. He had known Joe very well. Thirty-one years later, courtesy of a good game by fucla and u$¢'s incredible ineptitude, we were champions again. It was a hell of a feeling.

Being a thoughtful soul, I quickly got out my Treo and dashed off some emails to friends of mine who were SC fans congratulating them on their share of the Championship. Got some very nasty notes in return. People don't appreciate good sportsmanship anymore. I thought they'd appreciate the camaraderie shared among fellow champions...

..but apparently not.

Fuckin' soCal's

Go Bears!!!

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:19 am

"American Pie" by Don McLean. Wretched piece of garbage with pseudo-profound "secret codes" that hypnotizes drunk idiots with room-temperature IQ's to sing along. Don McLean should be beaten with a pool cue just for vomiting this song and "Vincent" into the world.

"Paradise By The Dashboard Lights." Meatloaf is should have listened to Dean Wormer ("Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son"). Another of those moron-magnet songs that calls to the chromosomally-challenged and induces them to sing along.

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:29 am

Mister Bushice wrote:Pretty much anything recorded by Yoko Ono, unless bleeding ears and shattered glass is your thing.

We have a winner!!!

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 1:18 pm

Ummmm I'm going to have to go with "Believe" by Cher as the worst song ever. If you could just destroy every copy ever made of that song, that would be great.

Neely8 · Post by **Neely8** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:26 pm

RACK BSMACK!!!

How about that Hmmm Hmmmmm Hmmmmm Hmmmm song from Crash Test Dummies??????

Even worse then the original Don McLean "American Pie" was the disco remix version by Britains favorite daughter Madge.....

patsy stone · Post by **patsy stone** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:34 pm

I think the song "What If God Was One of Us" is pretty terrible.

"SexyBack" has redeeming qualities. It's catchy, and it's good to dance to.

"Joey" by Concrete Blonde in this list is blasphemy! Am I the only CB fan? It's a good song if you are feeling all depressed and like, totally deep, man. Like back in high school. Wearing all black and stuff.

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:45 pm

BSmack wrote:Ummmm I'm going to have to go with "Believe" by Cher as the worst song ever. If you could just destroy every copy ever made of that song, that would be great.

RACK!!

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:53 pm

one and a half pages and no mention of

MacArthur Park by Richard Harris.........the worst of the music dregs.....

MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

eeks.......

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 2:59 pm

Don McLean should be beaten with a pool cue

I vote for Polonium 210. The cue beating would soil the air with a fetid Patchouli Cloud - unacceptable to all except Logon Fan.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 3:32 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:Pretty much anything recorded by Yoko Ono, unless bleeding ears and shattered glass is your thing.

for oldies, "afternoon delight" "Billy don't be a hero" "disco duck" come to mind.

"I'm too sexy" by those two faggot brother body builders and the safety dance by wang chung.

for current songs, "chasing cars" is right up there. what a simplistic, meaningless piece of crap that is.

To quote Dins..."Holy-Fucking-Crap. "Billy don't be a hero?" I dunno, but I think Bushice has hit the winner. Any one of the steaming piles of Gunslinger nugget-treacle that escaped from the Archie-esque maws of Bo Donaldson and the Heywoods has got to be considered. "Billy" was and is as horrific a song as has ever been made.

I mean, look at these guys...

See You Next Wednesday · Wed Dec 06, 2006 3:47 pm

"Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm" by the Crash Test Dummies is certainly near the top of this list.

Hobbes · Post by **Hobbes** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:05 pm

What, no love...er...hate for Aqua's "Barbie Girl?" Or what about "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayzeeeeeeeeee. Like nails on a damn chalkboard.

L45B · Post by **L45B** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:16 pm

Mike the Lab Rat wrote:"American Pie" by Don McLean. Wretched piece of garbage with pseudo-profound "secret codes" that hypnotizes drunk idiots with room-temperature IQ's to sing along.

You nailed it. That song is fucking annoying as hell, yet I've even seen people sing along without the song actually playing. And without alcohol. Fucking annoying.

TenTallBen · Post by **TenTallBen** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:37 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:Pretty much anything recorded by Yoko Ono.

EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Oh, and I'll add Summer Breeze by Seals and Croft. HORRIBLE.

Also, Concrete Blonde does not suck. Tomorrow Wendy is one of the best songs evah.

patsy stone · Post by **patsy stone** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:06 pm

TenTallBen wrote:Also, Concrete Blonde does not suck. Tomorrow Wendy is one of the best songs evah.

"Heal It Up" = Best song by them, IMO!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:18 pm

Hobbes wrote:what about "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayzeeeeeeeeee.

SERIOUS contender. Made all the worse, since at the time of its popularity, I was running with some extreme hotties(ah, the glory days of youth), and they thought that tune(and Swayze) was the bee's knees. As badly as I wanted to share my thoughts on the matter, my dick always did the right thing, and compelled me to keep my mouth shut.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:26 pm

Do novelty acts like William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy doing covers count ?

patsy stone · Post by **patsy stone** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:34 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
Hobbes wrote:what about "She's Like the Wind" by Patrick Swayzeeeeeeeeee.

SERIOUS contender. Made all the worse, since at the time of its popularity, I was running with some extreme hotties(ah, the glory days of youth), and they thought that tune(and Swayze) was the bee's knees. As badly as I wanted to share my thoughts on the matter, my dick always did the right thing, and compelled me to keep my mouth shut.

Yeah, chicks like this song.

Hobbes · Post by **Hobbes** » Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:37 pm

patsy stone wrote:Yeah, chicks like this song.

Go figure. They also like the corresponding "Dirty Dancing" which I'd have to put on my list of all time worst movies.