The world has run out of news to report

[indyfrisco]

I can't believe someone sent me this link in an email. Possibly the dumbest shit I've ever read. Seriously, it's like the guy got fired at The Onion and was hired by Reuters.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061214/od_ ... riving1_dc

TORONTO, Dec 13 (Reuters Life!) - Never mind how careful you are behind the wheel or how long you've been driving, the signs of the zodiac may be bigger factors behind your ability to avoid car crashes -- or why you have too many.

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According to a study by InsuranceHotline.com, a Web site that quotes drivers on insurance rates, astrological signs are a significant factor in predicting car accidents.

The study, which looked at 100,000 North American drivers' records from the past six years, puts Libras (born September 23-October 22) followed by Aquarians (January 20-February 18) as the worst offenders for tickets and accidents

Leos (July 23-August 22) and then Geminis (May 21-June 20) were found to be the best overall.

"I was absolutely shocked by the results," said Lee Romanov, president of Toronto-based InsuranceHotline.com, who also wrote the book "Car Carma" which touches on the correlation between astrological signs and driving ability while doing the study.

Romanov originally wanted to have some fun by examining astrological signs as a possible cause for the variance between insurance companies quoting high and low rates but didn't expect to find anything interesting.

"Now, changing postal codes is far less significant to me than drivers of certain astrological signs," she told Reuters on Wednesday.

Even age, another variable for determining insurance rates, is less of a consideration to Romanov. The cutoff line for being considered a higher risk driver is 24 years of age; 25-year-olds are considered not-high risk.

"I'd rather get into a car with a 24-year-old Leo than a 25-year-old Aries," Romanov said.

Leos, described along with the study results on InsuranceHotline.com/a10.html, are "generous, and comfortable in sharing the roadway."

Aries, on the other hand, "have a 'me first' childlike nature that drives Aries into trouble."

"I wasn't believing in it before," said Romanov, "but I would think twice before getting into a car with an Aries."

[Ken]

I see jack stole IF's password.

[Goober McTuber]

I see jack stole IF's password.

Too bad he didn’t steal yours. Might actually be a minor improvement.

[Ken]

I see jack stole IF's password.

Too bad he didn’t steal yours. Might actually be a minor improvement.

Rack the deep thought that must have taken. Even as stupid as you appear to be, I can't fathom anyone typing that out and coming to the conclusion that it has even the slightest component of smack or humor to it and hitting submit. Not even you.

[Goober McTuber]

Of course you can’t see the humor, Kendra. You’re a brainless fucking tard.

[Ken]

Of course you can’t see the humor, Kendra. You’re a brainless fucking tard.

Oh no, I can see the humor through the Goober McTuber State Forest of ineptitude, as difficult as that may sound. It's just that it, well... in retrospect, it shouldn't surprise me that there was so little of it coming from you.

[Goober McTuber]

I can't fathom anyone typing that out and coming to the conclusion that it has even the slightest component of smack or humor

Oh no, I can see the humor

Just go look in the mirror and wave to the tard.

[Ken]

I can't fathom anyone typing that out and coming to the conclusion that it has even the slightest component of smack or humor

Oh no, I can see the humor

Just go look in the mirror and wave to the tard.

Ahhhh, I see where the disconnect is. You actually think I saw some humor in your POST. The truth is I see the humor in your unbridled idiocy and compulsion to post something that gives a malaria riddled, misquito's funny bone a run for its money. Keep shooting for the stars, idiot.

[Goober McTuber]

Of course, your idea of humor is “a malaria riddled, misquito's funny bone”? Is m2 writing your material now? Keep it up, Shecky, you’re gonna go places.

[Ken]

I can't believe someone sent me this link in an email. Possibly the dumbest shit I've ever read.

Check that, IF. Read on...

Too bad he didn’t steal yours. Might actually be a minor improvement.

Shecky

Take yer pick.

[Luther]

Ken, really. How in the fuck would you know humor? If I had to make a list of dorks who'd amass knock knock jokes in his shirt pocket, it would be you. Stick with things you are strong at, ...and give me a few minutes to search your name and find something to which I'm referring to. You are not a funny guy. You've never been a funny guy. I have you down as a loyal employee who'd leave his family in some cheap ass Motel 6, while you wore orange Johnny Miller slacks at some business meeting.

On a uplifting note, I do have LTS, TVO, and Jack down as being funnier than you. Print this out, fold it up and put it in your purse for future references.

Rip City

[Goober McTuber]

I can't believe someone sent me this link in an email. Possibly the dumbest shit I've ever read.

Check that, IF. Read on...

Too bad he didn’t steal yours. Might actually be a minor improvement.

Shecky

Take yer pick.

So first you smack Indy, and now you’re going to suck up to him? Good God, you’re fucking lame. No wonder your old lady has to hit up a ski instructor when she wants some good dicking.

[Ken]

and you see, luth... where YOUR disconnect comes into play is that you think I really do give a tail end about what you think. Do you EVER recall me posting a reply to you in recent memory? Let that be an illustration.

What I don't get about you is that, for some reason, you have this propensity to frequently police the boards with your backdoor PM's to the admins. Hey, I've sent my PM's here and there to PSU regarding spam, but rest assured, it ain't even CLOSE to what it seems you've done. One PM 'bout someone and I'm done.

Do something else w/your retirement, eh? Fuck... you've even taken vacations to places unknown, but you STILL couldn't let go of this place. When your thought processes in the holy land are trumped by "Where's my next photo op for the boards", you've got some freakin' issues.

So, luth, run, errrr... hobble along and start drafting a PM to PSU 'bout ST or fatsak. Or better yet, start planning one of your breaks from the board. Break out the tard meter, PLEASE. At least I can roughly keep track of your impending leave of absence.

[indyfrisco]

I was smacked?

[Ken]

and now you’re going to suck up to him?

Oh yes, that's sucking up to him. Just because your daily being is controlled by your lips' want for dick doesn't mean you have to let it override your brain function and ooze into your posts.

If I wanted to suck up to IF, a simple image of a cock would do the trick, btw.

[Ken]

I was smacked?

Well, in your world where a cock waved in front of your face or slapped upside your head with it is desireable... no, you weren't smacked.

[Goober McTuber]

a simple image of a cock would do the trick, btw.

You tried that once before. Remember?

[Uncle Fester]

As a Leo and stock car racing champion (in my one and only stock car race), I concur with the findings in the article.

As further proof, I dated four different Aries women and they were all hell on wheels in a car.

[Luther]

Kenny, you've sent a complaint to a mod about SPAMM ? Did you ever have the balls to post it in the thread of the guy/gal who's spamming, or are you doing the windshield route like Gunny? bwahahahaha. Do you think a mod, ...any mod even gives a shit what you think is spamm? Please list them, or if a mod is reading this shit then to post his name. Do you think I ever smacked DrDetroit for running his mouth? Do you have a perception problem?

So, you're in your manufactured cubicle, hunched over typing on a message board and running smack on how I should use my time? Now, have any of us read about you hustling around trying to squeeze in a round of golf on your companies expense account? OMFG, those were the most hilarious, gripping accounts that this board has ever seen. I found it a GD tragedy that our mods didn't create a special Kenny forum for redundant, sleep inducing, monotonous semi-loser yankee bigwigs.

You'll probably never retire or get to travel anywhere outside the limits of your used Jetta. Photography is my hobby and I go places all the time. I even make some money at it. So I spend twelve hours with my group visiting sites in Beijing, Xian, Jerusalem, Amman or wherever the fuck. Typically we'd have dinner and a few beers and off we'd go to our rooms. My wife doesn't travel with me overseas, so I spend the evening uploading Canon files to my hard drive so I have space on my flash card for the next day. Did I ever post from abroad? Oh fuck yeah. Was the thread interesting...did people respond, did people have some laughs, or do you think they preferred your pathetic shower ring stories, Dell ??

Rip City

[Ken]

You unadulterated, idiot. When the idiocy can't possibly run any deeper, you somehow find a way to run that trench to a depth approaching your daughter's gash... you know, seeing as how she's in college now and all. No, that doesn't happen to your daughter, I'm sure.

I have you down as a loyal employee who'd leave his family in some cheap ass Motel 6, while you wore orange Johnny Miller slacks at some business meeting.

Quite the epiphany you had there. Can we get a "No fucking shit" forum up in here? ... and no, not for your commode's daily thoughts. Run some job smack, but at least make something up apart from clothing, eh? No effing shit... I travel. No shit, I leave my wife and kids behind at home, cuz well, my wife is the shit and makes it all possible. That's what salesmen do. We travel. I don't have a product that my or potential customers are slammin my door down for. So yeah, I've gotta hit the road and find a way to creatively jam it up their ass. Run some job smack... that's fine and all, but make it work, luth. As an aside, one of the many bennies happens to be MUCHO airline miles and hotel pts. so that I can take family to parts unkown (read: outside my used Jetta ) for fucking free. Run your travel and 'leavin' the family behind' smack all you want. Whatever. I'm doin' it w/my family for NOTHING. Free. Sucks to be you.

I'll say this... While I've always said good police officers can't possibly be paid enough (rack you for your service), at least I've gotta get one of my brain cells jammin' it up w/the one next to it rather than utilizing just one, simpleminded cell who is left alone to wonder where my next 'hiding spot' should be.... which by the way is precisely one cell too many.

As far as any of my golf account threads? Well, I post 'em in the GOLF forum... you know, that place where GOLF threads and GOLF travels are suited? None of 'em were meant to be funny, you douche, but rather to provide some legitimate discussion about GOLF and GOLF courses. 'cuz, unlike this here forum, that's how THAT place rolls. You don't participate over there, so don't coment on 'em. Do I ever venture over to the spin zone? Music forum? Fuck no. So, I don't run smack about them over HERE. Idiot.

[Ingse Bodil]

My wife doesn't travel with me overseas, so I spend the evening uploading Canon files to my hard drive so I have space on my flash card for the next day.

So that's how you're able to get so many upskirt/ass level shots? damn, dude. that changes things. you do it just for us (the board)? that's crazy/sentimental, you old lug.

[Luther]

You unadulterated, idiot. When the idiocy can't possibly run any deeper, you somehow find a way to run that trench to a depth approaching your daughter's gash... you know, seeing as how she's in college now and all. No, that doesn't happen to your daughter, I'm sure.

I missed this until now.

You're using my daughters "gash" in some smack, and you're thinking it might be appropriate to run that smack because she's now in college? And, how you then backtrack and state it wouldn't happen to my daughter. You are sure of it.

THEN WHY EVEN SAY IT?

A couple of years ago, some shit troll whose name I don't remember used to run kid smack on me. Was that you slinking around with the kid smack? There are only a couple of people left that run kid smack. Here is the deal, Ken, ...I want you to reach into your pants and see if you can find your balls. Did you find them yet? Then I want you to whisper to yourself, " I'm Ken, and I'm a grown man. I will not run kid smack on anyone ever again. "


Rip City