The 3 dudes missing on Mt. Hood: Not Oregonians of course

[Uncle Fester]

When I first arrived in SoCal, I hiked up Mt. Wilson from Chantry Flat. I knew that a storm was supposed to arrive that night, but I had no idea that it could actually snow on top of that mountain.

I repeat....I had NO idea.

What did you think all that white stuff was on the top of mountains? Frosting?

[Moorese]

But I can't think of one of them who ever entertained the idea of going bumping around the top of Hood in winter. Just isn't done.

Oyeh. There's a reason summit windows are in the summer.

[Uncle Fester]

Not much of that on Mt. Wilson at any time of year.

"Mountains," in the generic. Those tall rocky things with the white stuff on top.

Maybe each mountain should have a talking moose out front holding a big sign that explains all the dangers.

[Dinsdale]

Maybe each mountain should have a talking moose out front holding a big sign that explains all the dangers.

It's a little-known fact that california and Texas pay the U&Lers to not erect signs. Something about "purifying the gene pool" or something.

[Uncle Fester]

I skied the bowl at Lone Mountain (Big Sky) on a day with -26 temps and 25 mph hour winds.

It wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done, but I was dressed for it.

From what little I know about Mt. Hood, the crevasses are dangerous enough in good weather to make any dilettante think twice about wandering around without a guide or local.

[Dinsdale]

From what little I know about Mt. Hood, the crevasses are dangerous enough in good weather to make any dilettante think twice about wandering around without a guide or local.

Huh?

Us "locals" ain't fucking stupid enough to get anywhere away from pavement or a ski resort on Hood in winter. And that kinda goes double when Mr Weatherman says there will be ffet and feet of snow and winds from 100-130MPH with below-zero temps.

D-A-R-W-I-N.

[Dinsdale]

In other U&L news --

http://www.katu.com/home/video/4946527. ... eo=pop&t=a


Couldn't see that here in the lowlands, since it was foggy this morning, but cool vid.


Now, if they were going to Darwin it up, why couldn't the Texicles have just hiked up Helens, and said some mumbo-jumbo prayer shit, while throwing themselves into the crater to appease the volcano gods?

Because with the mullets they were sporting, you can't tell me at least one of those tards wasn't a virgin.

[smackaholic]

.... 25 mph hour .....

wtf is that? some sore of measurement for acceleration. Real slow acceleration at that. I think my grandpa's vw rabbit diesel had an acceleration rate somewhere around that.

[Q, West Coast Style]

Personally I think some of the blame needs to go to all the people who prayed for these guys to be saved. Apparently they didn't pray hard enough. Or, maybe not enough people prayed. Maybe more people should've watched LArry King and joined him in prayer. ANyway SOMEBODY pissed off God cause it's not like him just to ignore prayers right?

[OCmike]

In other U&L news --

http://www.katu.com/home/video/4946527. ... eo=pop&t=a


Couldn't see that here in the lowlands, since it was foggy this morning, but cool vid.


Now, if they were going to Darwin it up, why couldn't the Texicles have just hiked up Helens, and said some mumbo-jumbo prayer shit, while throwing themselves into the crater to appease the volcano gods?

Because with the mullets they were sporting, you can't tell me at least one of those tards wasn't a virgin.

Kelly James, who I think is the goofiest-looking of the bunch, had a pretty attractive wife. I know, rules and all...looked for a pic, but couldn't find one. She was all over the news the past few days.

[Q, West Coast Style]

Kind of goofy looking but I'd pack her snow cave.

I heard she's available too.

[Goober McTuber]

Kind of goofy looking but I'd pack her snow cave.

I believe that would be spelunking, not mountaineering. With Patsy Stone you could do both.

[Dinsdale]

She was all over the news the past few days.

Besides the missing climbers and the James Kim aftermath, she was the next-hottest topic of water cooler discussion 'round these parts -- what a stupid, smarmy, bible-thumping bitch she was. People with no mountaineering skills were volunteering to help so as to expidite the rescue effort, and get that dumb bitch off our TVs and out of our state.


When she broke off with what amounted to "we don't even need to send out rescue crews, because God will deliver them home safely" (not her exact words, but sure how it came across), she pretty much pissed off everyone around here whose resources were being spent to look for the tards.

Class act, that one.

[Tom In VA]

When she broke off with what amounted to "we don't even need to send out rescue crews, because Gos will deliver them home safely" (not her exact words, but sure how it came across), she pretty much pissed off everyone around here whose resources were being spent to look for the tards.

Maybe the "them" she was referring to were the dollar bills from the life insurance policy. "We don't need to send out rescue crews, because God will deliver the checks from the life insurance company safely" or something. I don't know.

[Dinsdale]

Maybe the "them" she was referring to were the dollar bills from the life insurance policy.

Not sure how the law works after a darwinning, but a few years ago, we passed a law here that puts you on the hook for the bill after major S&R operations on your behalf, if a person didn't take every reasonable precaution to make it easier on rescuers(these clowns didn't. A rental transponder is 5 freaking bucks...$5). I certainly hope any insurance money goes to reimburse all the out-of-pocket money the people of Oregon(and there was military involved too, a federal thing) spent trying to fool Charles Darwin.

Laws that came about because while our winter tourists have somehow made national headlines this year, this shit happens every winter. Hence, the transponder rentals...that you rent at the same place they dropped off their itinerary.


And it's usually not Oregonians they're looking for. Gee, I guess we didn't just fall of the turnip truck when it comes to outdoors stuff, eh?

[Derron]

There are some pretty good cliffs on the trail up. Several of them appeared to be over a 100 foot drop from what I remember and I felt fortunate that the twilight hadn't completely faded away.

Pity you could not have just jumped off said cliff and saved all the suicide drama for yo mama.

There was also a ranger at the summit who was a bit peeved when I arrived exuasted at the observatory. I told him I'd left Chantry Flat around 11:00 am and he said that it was no wonder that I was so spent physically. I think it's about a 12 mile hike and around a 4,000 foot climb in elevation, which I did in less than six hours.

Jeezes crist....12 miles and 4000 feet in less than 6 hours...that's about a 2 mile's per hour and less than 1000 vertical feet an hour....my fucking grandmother could do that and she's been dead for 40 years. Stopped and jerked off too much ??

Don't strain yourself.....

[Dinsdale]

You're in Oregon, correct? Then you should be well aware that 12 miles of distance and 4000 feet of incline isn't just a stroll for granny through the rose garden.

I'm from Oregon...and it's only about a half mile and about 100 verticle feet or so through the Rose Garden.

[Atomic Punk]

Stopped and jerked off too much ??

my wandering off the beaten path on several occasions

[Derron]

Sometimes, a certain natural feature of a landscape can just hypnotize you into losing a sense of common reasoning and cause one to put themselves in danger without realizing it before it's too late.

But were I was at was pretty remote from civilization and I could have been just as lost as these hikers.

Yeah.. happens to me all the time... just get caught up in the "beauty" of the landscape, that I just fucking completely forget where I am at and what I am doing.

Yes.. comparing yourself to those frozen Dilly bars on Mt Hood is a "real" valid comparision.


1. Your both stupid as hell thinking you could get over on Mother Nature.

2. Given that you compare your exploits to those mountaineers, you likely could get lost if you stepped off the trail to take a
piss.

3. There is a "real" comparision to a 500 foot hill in a temperate climate to an 11,000 foot mountain in a huge mountian range.

Drawing the comparision that way, pretty much confirms you are one of the dumbest fucks to walk the earth. Best be looking over your shoulder, CD got to be reallll close.

[BSmack]

Derron,

I suppose it might be asking too much for you to read Todd's post before mashing the submit button?

[BSmack]

Climbing mountains is a fukking blast. Doing it in the winter is even better. Just mix in a fukking weather report and very clear instructions of where you are going and when you will be back if you are tackling something as challenging as hood in the winter.

Can somebody enlighten me on what sort of weather they had during their first days on the hill? At the first sign of shit weather they should have done like melo after a sucker punch and ran like hell AWAY from the danger. I have been above tree line in nasty shit in the middle of nowhere within a few hundred feet of the summit on Mt Marcy in the adirondacks. It ain't no Mt hood, but, it's still nasty enough that you don't wanna spend a night on it in a storm. We were like, damn, all this effort and we ain't gonna make the summit? So fukking what, it was white out conditions anyhow. We turned around and slid our asses back down to our leantoo and cozy warm sleeping bags. Fukk ice caves. I've heard they are actually kinda nice for sleeping in. Maybe someday I will try it......In the snow bank in my front yard, 50 ft from warmth.

Smart move. Marcy ain't nothing to fuck with. Plenty of people have died on that mountain because they didn't do what you did. Mix in the possibility of an avalanche with all that snow and subzero weather and you have a perfect recipe for a Chuck Darwin Stew.

[smackaholic]

Sometimes, a certain natural feature of a landscape can just hypnotize you into losing a sense of common reasoning and cause one to put themselves in danger without realizing it before it's too late.

But were I was at was pretty remote from civilization and I could have been just as lost as these hikers.

Yeah.. happens to me all the time... just get caught up in the "beauty" of the landscape, that I just fucking completely forget where I am at and what I am doing.

Yes.. comparing yourself to those frozen Dilly bars on Mt Hood is a "real" valid comparision.


1. Your both stupid as hell thinking you could get over on Mother Nature.

2. Given that you compare your exploits to those mountaineers, you likely could get lost if you stepped off the trail to take a
piss.

3. There is a "real" comparision to a 500 foot hill in a temperate climate to an 11,000 foot mountain in a huge mountian range.

Drawing the comparision that way, pretty much confirms you are one of the dumbest fucks to walk the earth. Best be looking over your shoulder, CD got to be reallll close.

nahhhh, he's OK. Last I checked chuckie was still on a roll in the U&L. He don't have time to shoot over to the U&R just now.

[Q, West Coast Style]

And the message from T1B is...

Glass Dick much?

Still a front page story a week later. 70 replies in here. Suck it. Never underestimate people's fascination with stories involving mother nature getting over on the unfortunate and/or the stupid. It touches our sensitivity to , and fear of, the fact that "we" as a species are still not completely in control.

[Derron]

Best be looking over your shoulder, CD got to be reallll close.

You should hope that I'm looking over my shoulder. Because right now, I'm looking at the wording of your post and wondering which ghetto you escaped from.

The only way you would be looking over my shoulder would be because your faggot ass was trying to go homo on me, and that ain't going to happen.

Reasons it would not happen:

1. It takes you months to construct a readable take. Motor functions much ??

2. Grammer smack ?? " fiddling about oneself " ...that look familiar ??

3. If you did try to cornhole me... I could always hold up a picutre of a scenic landscape and you could become lost in the
beauty and lose touch with your surroundings, at which time I could kick you square in your balls.

Pick up a loose handgun...check for a loaded magazine / cylinder...insert in mouth and pull trigger.

Make sure you leave instructions for next of kin / sherrif / medical examiner / corner / Santas elves to post details of your demise so your Death Pool action can go down.

[Goober McTuber]

Tardowen,

That wasn’t homo smack, that was foreplay.

Smile, you get to be on top. Derron’s a catcher.

[Derron]

Tardowen,

That wasn’t homo smack, that was foreplay.

Smile, you get to be on top. Derron’s a catcher.

You would know.. since I have kicked your ass a few times.....

[Goober McTuber]

Tardowen,

That wasn’t homo smack, that was foreplay.

Smile, you get to be on top. Derron’s a catcher.

You would know..

Just what I've heard. Nice of you to confirm your faggotry.

since I have kicked your ass a few times.....

In your dreams, Corky.

[Derron]

Tardowen,

That wasn’t homo smack, that was foreplay.

Smile, you get to be on top. Derron’s a catcher.

You would know..

Just what I've heard. Nice of you to confirm your faggotry.

since I have kicked your ass a few times.....

In your dreams, Corky.

Merry Christmas......mother fucker.

[Dinsdale]

And who knows how the bible-thumpers will ever be found(the GOPsicles).

In retrospect, that was a dumb question.

The obvious answer was "by completely wasting public funds."

MOUNT HOOD, Ore. - The search will begin again for two climbers who died on Mount Hood.

In December, 38-year-old Kelley James, 37-year-old Brian Hall and 36-year-old Nikko Cooke died after becoming stranded on the mountain when the weather turned.

The severe conditions hampered the search. Crews eventually found James' body in a snow cave, but Hall and Cooke have not been found.

Hood River Sheriff Joe Wampler said his department is preparing to mount a massive search in July, when the winter snow pack has decreased. They will concentrate around the 8,500-foot level on the Newton-Clark and Elliott glaciers. Crews will also look off the mountain in case the men fell or made it down into the forest.

If that fails, more searching is planned for August when snow levels are down to glacial ice.

WTF?

There's all kinds of corpses trapped under ice up there. They find people decades after their disappearance there.

What makes these douchebags more worthy of tax dollars than anyone else?

Not sure I've even heard of actually setting out looking for douchecicles before. When the glaciers melt enough, the summertime climbers usually find the remains...if not...oh, well.

[OCmike]

You never know...bro. We just may find one alive and show him how to weeze the juice, bud-deh!

[Dinsdale]

We need to bill the buble-thumping families for the cryogenic services, regardless.

[Money Shot]

If that fails, more searching is planned for August when snow levels are down to glacial ice.

There's still glacial ice in places? I thought global warming already took care of all of that. I may need to speak with Al Gore about this.

[Dinsdale]

There's still glacial ice in places? I thought global warming already took care of all of that. I may need to speak with Al Gore about this.

Less than 50% of what was up there when they first started measuring it.


But hey...it's not like that's what we drink and bathe in, or anything.

[PSUFAN]

If that fails, more searching is planned for August when snow levels are down to glacial ice.

There's still glacial ice in places? I thought global warming already took care of all of that. I may need to speak with Al Gore about this.

I hate to break it to you, but there's little doubt that glacial ice on the planet is receding. Actually, there's no debate on that topic whatsoever, except perhaps via super-secret BOSE radio communiques from Wolfman and Paul Harvey.

The debate centers on what is causing climate change - not whether it's happening or not. Even the quasi-primate that runs our country understands that - I hear he saw it in Putin's eyes, as he gazed deeply into them this time around.