My Theories About Christmas

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:32 am

That was beautiful, man! I'm calling a production meeting.

Sin,

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:36 am

Merry Christmas to you too 88 !!

I guess if Time magazine had a "Man of All Time" it should be Jesus, but they'd probably cop out and say
"Homo sapiens".

I can't think of one man who has had such an
impact on world history-- I'm not even going to list
those "impacts"--I'm guessing anyone can think of
quite a few--- and most of them positive--especially
in the long run !!

Doug near DC · Post by **Doug near DC** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:42 am

You should hang out with "the Grinch"

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:48 am

Thanks for your beautiful post 88.

I'm a little drunk right now and listening to CSN&Y on wolfgan's vault, so I didn't actually read it (RACK the FUCK outta Down By the River). I'm sure your post was epoch because you're a really smart and creative dude. I promise to read the hole thing lateer and come back with come commentary.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:04 am

88 wrote: Now I obviously wasn't there and cannot know for sure whether any of that story is true or not.

Heresy!

You really should be burnt at the stake.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have shopping to do on ebay.

Jesus H. Christ · Post by **Jesus H. Christ** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:06 am

Rack the "hell" out of

88 Got the story pretty right and has the good spirit!

Bobby42 nice take. I'll use it at our next production planning meeting! (with the pic)!

Wolfman. Allways a solid "old experienced guy like me" take.

Doug: Which version? But rack you anyway.

Mikey: Just keep on with the Wolfgang's stuff and don't worry man. Even though too liberal you are the man and a good guy. With most excellent music taste i might add. ya say ya like Joni?

Rage on all and Merry Christmas! When ever the fuk I was born... Like every moment when someone feels me and lives the moment in love...

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:22 am

Jesus H Christ, Joni is at the top of the heap.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:35 am

88,

Is that the story you tell your chil'lun?

And thanks for the PM. I've already sent a message to our (hopefully) mutual friend.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:36 am

Mitchell?

Jack · Post by **Jack** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:54 am

88,

and what are your thoughts on Saint Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, who had a reputation for secret gift-giving, but is now commonly identified with Santa Claus?

Eastern Orthodox icon of Saint Nicolas

Inge Bodil · Post by **Inge Bodil** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:58 am

mvscal wrote:
Wolfman wrote:I guess if Time magazine had a "Man of All Time" it should be Jesus,

For what? Being a pussy and getting tacked to a cross?

It takes a man to forgive one's persecutors while being killed by them.

'forgive them father, for they know not what they do.'

that's powerful. that's inspiring.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:56 am

Jack wrote:88,

and what are your thoughts on Saint Nicholas, Bishop of Myra, who had a reputation for secret gift-giving, but is now commonly identified with Santa Claus?

I'll take ressurected from history by some dude selling shit as a marketing tool for the commercialism aspect of Christmas for $100.

rozy · Post by **rozy** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:54 pm

88 wrote: I'm fairly sure there was a dude named Jesus H. Christ. I think he got punked by the Romans and some pissed off Jews, and died a barbaric death on a cross. I'm also fairly sure he wasn't the son of God, and that he didn't rise from the dead or do anything remarkable during his life other than come up with a major scam that allowed his posse to con dudes out of their coin and obtain political power.

Just to get boiled in oil, crucified upside down, etc. etc.? Thanks, bro! I LOVE the early morning chuckles.

Merry Christmas, anyhoo.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:00 pm

Inge Bodil wrote:
mvscal wrote:
Wolfman wrote:I guess if Time magazine had a "Man of All Time" it should be Jesus,

For what? Being a pussy and getting tacked to a cross?
It takes a man to forgive one's persecutors while being killed by them.

'forgive them father, for they know not what they do.'

that's powerful. that's inspiring.

No, that's called being fucking delirious after 8 hours on a fucking cross. I'm sure he said a whole lot of other shit that day as well. Most of which wasn't deemed worthy of recording.

Terry in Crapchester · Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:00 pm

rozy wrote:
88 wrote: I'm fairly sure there was a dude named Jesus H. Christ. I think he got punked by the Romans and some pissed off Jews, and died a barbaric death on a cross. I'm also fairly sure he wasn't the son of God, and that he didn't rise from the dead or do anything remarkable during his life other than come up with a major scam that allowed his posse to con dudes out of their coin and obtain political power.

Just to get boiled in oil, crucified upside down, etc. etc.? Thanks, bro! I LOVE the early morning chuckles.

Not the only error in his version, but I'll echo the sentiments as well.

Merry Christmas, anyhoo.

Second.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:10 pm

In northern Europe, they celebrated the winter solstice as "Yule". All of these holidays were cause for epoch hell raising and partying

If you lived in Northern Europe in winter, you'd totally understand why.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:41 pm

Nishlord wrote:
In northern Europe, they celebrated the winter solstice as "Yule". All of these holidays were cause for epoch hell raising and partying
If you lived in Northern Europe in winter, you'd totally understand why.

I believe the celebration originated when one of them Northern Euros said to another, "It's so freakin' cold out here, yule be one sorry mofo if you don't drink some of this!"

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:53 pm

I think everyone's theory in here is absolutely 100% correct and right on the money.

Rack Smackie's "funnay" especially.

On a serious note, it's about warmth. I wish you all warmth on this day of eves of days of yore.

Unless of course you're really hot, whether it's from running a fever or because you live in some tropical paradise, then I hope you cool down. Well, I hope the former cools down, I envy the latter far too much to really have any good thoughts or intentions.

But Merry Christmas

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:56 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:
rozy wrote:
88 wrote: I'm fairly sure there was a dude named Jesus H. Christ. I think he got punked by the Romans and some pissed off Jews, and died a barbaric death on a cross. I'm also fairly sure he wasn't the son of God, and that he didn't rise from the dead or do anything remarkable during his life other than come up with a major scam that allowed his posse to con dudes out of their coin and obtain political power.

Just to get boiled in oil, crucified upside down, etc. etc.? Thanks, bro! I LOVE the early morning chuckles.
Not the only error in his version, but I'll echo the sentiments as well.

Doncha just wish Scanner was around to provide his insight on the workings of the early Church?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:00 pm

At the time that Northern Europe converted to Christianity, the climate of that region was significantly warmer.

Easter and Christmas were devised as replacements for the solstice celebrations. Conversion is going to take a lot more successfully if you present it as a repackaging.

It makes an awful lot of sense celebrating the cycles of the moon and sun - something that had a direct effect on humanity each and every year. When the weather was favorable, people got rich - when it sucked and they couldn't grow things, they died.

Towards the end of the Viking era, the region got a lot colder.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:02 pm

PSUFAN wrote:At the time that Northern Europe converted to Christianity, the climate of that region was significantly warmer.

Easter and Christmas were devised as replacements for the solstice celebrations. Conversion is going to take a lot more successfully if you present it as a repackaging.

It makes an awful lot of sense celebrating the cycles of the moon and sun - something that had a direct effect on humanity each and every year. When the weather was favorable, people got rich - when it sucked and they couldn't grow things, they died.

Towards the end of the Viking era, the region got a lot colder.

Did they have thermometers back in the day?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:05 pm

Certainly, the climactic record for the period is well documented:

http://www2.sunysuffolk.edu/mandias/lia ... g_mwp.html

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:23 pm

88 wrote:
rozy wrote:
88 wrote: I'm fairly sure there was a dude named Jesus H. Christ. I think he got punked by the Romans and some pissed off Jews, and died a barbaric death on a cross. I'm also fairly sure he wasn't the son of God, and that he didn't rise from the dead or do anything remarkable during his life other than come up with a major scam that allowed his posse to con dudes out of their coin and obtain political power.

Just to get boiled in oil, crucified upside down, etc. etc.? Thanks, bro! I LOVE the early morning chuckles.

Merry Christmas, anyhoo.
I know what you mean. What says LOVE more than letting your own child and his followers get boiled in oil, crucified upside down, etc. etc.? I wonder if Andrea Yates had used some railroad spikes and a telephone pole to kill her kids, and then immediately let it be known that God told her to do it because God wanted to show all of us how much he LOVES us, we'd be saying prayers for Saint Andrea right now?

Early morning chuckles rock.

Well said 88. If only the world had a man like you 2000+ years ago, we could have avoided all this mess. What mess you might ask ?

Look around. I know I'd be chillin ...... wait a minute no ...

Just where the fuck would we be without this man Christ ?

The unfortunate thing is it's all subjective speculation because the facts are the facts and History is HIS-Story. At least in the Western world. You might not like it, I know I don't, but it is what it is.

On second thought, you're absolutely right, I do hope the world comes around to seeing things YOUR way very soon. I think we'd be better off.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:28 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Easter and Christmas were devised as replacements for the solstice celebrations.

So these two holidays were made up?!?

Why does Bush even acknowledge them?

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:28 pm

come up with a major scam that allowed his posse to con dudes out of their coin and obtain political power.

I think that came after Jesus.

Either way, it wasn't tough to end up getting nailed to a cross or boiled in oil or thrown to the lions in those days, no matter who you burned candles to.

Life is nasty, brutish, and short - and we are lucky sons of bitches.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:29 pm

PSUFAN wrote:

Life is nasty, brutish, and short - and we are lucky sons of bitches.

RACK

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 3:39 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Certainly, the climactic record for the period is well documented:

http://www2.sunysuffolk.edu/mandias/lia ... g_mwp.html

So I could Google the high and low temps for Oslo in 912?

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:01 pm

millions of people who were killed by Christians ???

no matter if true or not-- it pales when compared to the numbers
killed by "secularism" (Communism alone in the past century).

And Christians are still being persecuted in Africa and elsewhere !

I do believe that Jesus would be quite perplexed and maybe
even angry at what some of his followers have done in His name.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:04 pm

Wolfman wrote:millions of people who were killed by Christians ???

no matter if true or not-- it pales when compared to the numbers
killed by "secularism" (Communism alone in the past century).

And Christians are still being persecuted in Africa and elsewhere !

I do believe that Jesus would be quite perplexed and maybe
even angry at what some of his followers have done in His name.

That might be true Wolfman, but you have to understand Right Wing Christian American started the killing. It wasn't until Right Wing Christian Americans came around that death, famine, pestilence, and Jim Rome came around. Prior to that, everyone was naked and writhing around in ecstasy, nary a care in the world.

Sure you might say "That sounds un-sanitary", but you see, until Right Wing Christian American came around there was no real need to eat and drink anything so therefore nobody farted, pooped or pissed.

And it was good.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:07 pm

And Christians are still being persecuted in Africa and elsewhere !

Funny thing about persecution - it doesn't belong to a religion or creed or nationality or belief system.

IMO, it was not as a reward for Moral Virtue that Northern Europeans came to rule the globe and its resources. We weren't selected by God and the Baby Jesus to lap at riversides of Ambrosia.

We just got good and ruthless, and didn't let up.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:09 pm

Funny...I thought it was the Godless Liberals that pig-earmarked our decline.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:13 pm

That's by design. Common tact of misdirection.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:13 pm

I do believe that Jesus would be quite perplexed and maybe
even angry at what some of his followers have done in His name.

"Perplexed"...yep, I'd say so. That is, if he believed one whit of what has been attributed to him, anyway.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:17 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
I do believe that Jesus would be quite perplexed and maybe
even angry at what some of his followers have done in His name.
"Perplexed"...yep, I'd say so. That is, if he believed one whit of what has been attributed to him, anyway.

I am genuinely intrigued. I'd like to read more.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:28 pm

You'd like to read depictions of Christians behaving in ways that would "perplex" Jesus?

Have you a taste for the lash?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:29 pm

PSUFAN wrote:You'd like to read depictions of Christians behaving in ways that would "perplex" Jesus?

Have you a taste for the lash?

No sir. What intrigued me about your post was the following ....

"That is, if he believed one whit of what has been attributed to him, anyway."

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:31 pm

Let me help you make your way through it - of COURSE Jesus would have been perplexed and even angry at some of the things done in his name. Otherwise, what he said - or what was attributed him - would needs be meaningless to him.

Does it make a little more sense to you now?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:34 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Let me help you make your way through it - of COURSE Jesus would have been perplexed and even angry at some of the things done in his name. Otherwise, what he said - or what was attributed him - would needs be meaningless to him.

Does it make a little more sense to you now?

I see. I was thinking in a different direction.

My thoughts are that Jesus would be, not unlike he was in temple with the money changers, ... pissed.

Other than that I was trying to see if your thoughts were akin to mine.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:40 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:Easter and Christmas were devised as replacements for the solstice celebrations.
So these two holidays were made up?!?

Why does Bush even acknowledge them?

He did? Oh, FOUL! RALLY THE SOLDIERS OF INDEMNITY!

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:00 pm

I stopped worrying and boiled it all down to Linus saying, "And on Earth Peace, goodwill toward men."

Then I went to church with the Lutherans and the stupid pastor said, "And on Earth Peace, goodwill to THOSE WHO GOD FAVORS."

I did a spit take on the bald guy in front of me and started saying "WHAT THE FUCK?" and "JESUS CHRIST IN A CHICKEN BASKET!" loud enough to be escorted from the sanctuary.

Anybody who fukks with Linus will have to fight me.

T1B

My Theories About Christmas

Re: My Theories About Christmas

Re: My Theories About Christmas

Re: My Theories About Christmas

Re: My Theories About Christmas

Re: My Theories About Christmas