My Theories About Christmas

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:17 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
I do believe that Jesus would be quite perplexed and maybe
even angry at what some of his followers have done in His name.
"Perplexed"...yep, I'd say so. That is, if he believed one whit of what has been attributed to him, anyway.

I am genuinely intrigued. I'd like to read more.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:28 pm

You'd like to read depictions of Christians behaving in ways that would "perplex" Jesus?

Have you a taste for the lash?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:29 pm

PSUFAN wrote:You'd like to read depictions of Christians behaving in ways that would "perplex" Jesus?

Have you a taste for the lash?

No sir. What intrigued me about your post was the following ....

"That is, if he believed one whit of what has been attributed to him, anyway."

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:31 pm

Let me help you make your way through it - of COURSE Jesus would have been perplexed and even angry at some of the things done in his name. Otherwise, what he said - or what was attributed him - would needs be meaningless to him.

Does it make a little more sense to you now?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:34 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Let me help you make your way through it - of COURSE Jesus would have been perplexed and even angry at some of the things done in his name. Otherwise, what he said - or what was attributed him - would needs be meaningless to him.

Does it make a little more sense to you now?

I see. I was thinking in a different direction.

My thoughts are that Jesus would be, not unlike he was in temple with the money changers, ... pissed.

Other than that I was trying to see if your thoughts were akin to mine.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:40 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:Easter and Christmas were devised as replacements for the solstice celebrations.
So these two holidays were made up?!?

Why does Bush even acknowledge them?

He did? Oh, FOUL! RALLY THE SOLDIERS OF INDEMNITY!

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:00 pm

I stopped worrying and boiled it all down to Linus saying, "And on Earth Peace, goodwill toward men."

Then I went to church with the Lutherans and the stupid pastor said, "And on Earth Peace, goodwill to THOSE WHO GOD FAVORS."

I did a spit take on the bald guy in front of me and started saying "WHAT THE FUCK?" and "JESUS CHRIST IN A CHICKEN BASKET!" loud enough to be escorted from the sanctuary.

Anybody who fukks with Linus will have to fight me.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:02 pm

Linus is a heretic - a Liberal. I know because he's got bad hair.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:07 pm

to the numbers
killed by "secularism" (Communism alone in the past century)

Communism - or Christianity - never killed anyone.

Why is that concept so difficult to grasp?

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:54 pm

Look, Charlie, let's face it: we all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It's run by a big Eastern syndicate, you know

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 6:43 pm

Tom In VA wrote:My thoughts are that Jesus would be, not unlike he was in temple with the money changers, ... pissed.

You got that right brother. One trip into a Walgreens with the hordes meandering around and there'd be a whole lot of Chia Pets and Clappers hitting the floor in a hurry. And Wal-Mart ... holy shit. Talk about some holy merchandise throwdown. I'd be like all "Amen" and shit.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:56 pm

Wolfman wrote:millions of people who were killed by Christians ???

no matter if true or not-- it pales when compared to the numbers
killed by "secularism" (Communism alone in the past century).

And Christians are still being persecuted in Africa and elsewhere !

I do believe that Jesus would be quite perplexed and maybe
even angry at what some of his followers have done in His name.

hey wolf check out this beauty

XXXL · Post by **XXXL** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 5:05 am

I prefer to think in terms of Santa Claus and how I bought into that myth back in the wonder years...

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 6:34 pm

Mace wrote: Grissom: "We set out to gather DNA evidence to determine paternity in the Jesus H. Christ case and were attempting to ascertain if JHC was, in fact, the Son of God. We now know that the story is true, that Mary was impregnated by God, and that descendants of Christ family will now be trying to collect back child support from the Woody Hays family in Columbus, Ohio."

Mace

And they had Gods DNA on file for comparison how? Did God commit some kind of crime prior to having an angel fly his holy sperm up Marys snatch?

I wanna see the mug shot.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 7:45 pm

Not quite sure I'm ready to take the word from a group of people who gobble pig balls on a regular occasion, however I figure you're at least a stone age older than woody, so you must know. :)

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:42 pm

BSmack wrote: I'm sure he said a whole lot of other shit that day as well. Most of which wasn't deemed worthy of recording.

From the home office in Burbank, here are the Top 10 Things Jesus Said on the Cross, that didn't get recorded:

10. Owwwwwwww God damn, that fucking hurts ....... Owwwwwwwwwww
9. Judas, new robe dude? - Where'd you get the coin for that?
8. Hey Mary Magdalin, I can look right down your shirt from up here.
7. That's just Great, my last fucking supper was at Applebees
6. Man I must be losing it. Now I see a giant fucking bunny hiding eggs
5. You Stupid Jew Motherfuckers, this isn't what I meant when I said "Rack Me"
4. Pilot, you call yourself a Roman? The only Roman I see is your Lips roaming over my schlong
3. Yea, I'm God, And yea I could zap all your faggy asses if I really wanted to. Bode' Me.
2. Irieicus, quit thou gazing up at my crank
1. One day, 8 tiny reindeer will get you cocksuckers for this

After that, I'd so be going to Hell if there really was one