Douchebag is looking for me

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:57 pm

So, last Tuesday, a friend/co-worker of mine stopped into my place of work to warn me that some guy (who I don't even know) is planning on heading into where I work to "beat my ass." My friend who warned me, Jenny, is friend's with the girl who's married to this guy, and they're in the process of getting a divorce. Apparently she's divorcing him because he's abusive. Gee, I wasn't able to get that impression right off the bat, or anything. Anyway, for whatever outrageous reason, he believes her to be cheating on him...with me. Why? Who fucking knows. I've hung around this girl maybe a total of one hour in my entire life, and it was always with a group of other people. Dude has yet to come by, but if/when he does, I'm going to tell him his wife is fat and ugly and gives terrible blowjobs and that I shoot my load in her asscrack. Then I'll point to the blowtorch that I have sitting ten feet from my desk and tell him to get fucked.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:00 am

If he's going to kill you for fucking his OL, you might as well go ahead and do it anyway.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:02 am

Record the conversation for us and try to take a couple of pictures.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:22 am

ElvisMonster wrote:Record the conversation, then give it to me. I'll take care of it, in here.

:swoon:

- T1B

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:23 am

Actually, it's me he's looking for.

I ran him on SCIII.

Sorry for the mix up, hope it works out for you.

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:26 am

As always there's missing information here.

At some point you provided her a shoulder to lean on and then there was that moment when somehow the dick slipped in.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:31 am

I'll just ask him, "Son, are you familiar with the Icy Hot Stuntaz? I'm sort of cool with them. Now back the fuck up."

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:37 am

you think this might be PHX ROB?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:01 am

Wait...

Was your original nic Predator, and is this guy's name Kev in Pheenix?

Now I'm worried!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:29 am

Divorced?

I didn't even know zyclone was married.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:32 am

Funny you mention that. From what I hear, dude is short, stocky, and "looks" Italian. Apparently, he also thinks he can take anyone.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:44 am

My advice, based up decades of being an obnoxious asshole, would be to A) Obviously, not worry about it too much, and B) Wait for dude to show up.When/if he does, and it becomes apparent who he is and why he's there...

Just fucking drop him. No talk, no negotiations, no explainations. Just cold fucking cock him somewhere in the Greater Melon Metropolitan Area. If that's the language he speaks, then "yell in his ear," so to speak. Then, when he drops, you don't just stop there...fuck no. Mounts the bitch, knees-in-armpits, and take out all the anger and frustration you've ever had, even going back to when you were 6 and Mom and Dad lied about Fluffy going to heaven. Beat his ass so fucking silly he doesn't know what the fuck just happened.

He won't be back.

Of course, you also need to focus on not losing sleep over the beating his ex-to-be is going to take on account of your actions...but that ain't your problem.

FUCK. HIM. UP.

Either that, or you can just tell him "hey dude, I know Dinsdale, of internet messageboard fame. DO NOT make me call him."

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:46 am

Martyred wrote:Actually, it's me he's looking for.

Cinder's husband is threatening to beat up Mgo?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:57 am

It's Perk? I've seen his pic. I can totally take that dude.

Adelpiero · Post by **Adelpiero** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:09 am

listen to dins on this one

tell the guy, its joe from accounting, while your walking him to joes office, you fucking lay him out . what is dude going to do, call the cops? he threatened you, he showed up at your office, and as long as noone seen the punch, you defended yourself.

knock him the fuck out

remember: r,l,r,l,r,l,r,l,r,l,r

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:11 am

Douchebag is ranked higher than me?

Fuck the pollsters.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:24 am

Did the suicidal fetal positioner really just call me "spineless?" And based on what exactly?

That's comedy of the highest order, right there.

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:05 am

sounds like youre skeered. ive been skeered beforeO) cuda still posts here and mim sure everybody would want him to be beaten to a pulp. ijnm hope that doestn happento you. just incase the worst case happens. i hate mgd

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 4:01 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:So, last Tuesday, a friend/co-worker of mine stopped into my place of work to warn me that some guy (who I don't even know) is planning on heading into where I work to "beat my ass." My friend who warned me, Jenny, is friend's with the girl who's married to this guy, and they're in the process of getting a divorce. Apparently she's divorcing him because he's abusive. Gee, I wasn't able to get that impression right off the bat, or anything. Anyway, for whatever outrageous reason, he believes her to be cheating on him...with me. Why? Who fucking knows. I've hung around this girl maybe a total of one hour in my entire life, and it was always with a group of other people. Dude has yet to come by, but if/when he does, I'm going to tell him his wife is fat and ugly and gives terrible blowjobs and that I shoot my load in her asscrack. Then I'll point to the blowtorch that I have sitting ten feet from my desk and tell him to get fucked.

Great story.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:36 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote: but if/when he does, I'm going to tell him his wife is fat and ugly and gives terrible blowjobs and that I shoot my load in her asscrack.

If the guy is fat and ugly, has a small mouth and a stain on the back of his pants, you may have pissed him off for an entirely different reason.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 5:44 am

Toddowen wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:And based on what exactly?

MGO-Netboyspecial wrote:So, last Tuesday, a friend/co-worker of mine stopped into my place of work to warn me that some guy (who I don't even know) is planning on heading into where I work to to slap my poo-poo around. My friend who warned me, Jessica, is friend's with the girl who's married to this guy, and they're in the process of getting a divorce. Apparently she's divorcing him because he's abusive. Gee, I can't understand how anyone could be abusive to someone as sweet as my friend. Anyway, for whatever outrageous reason, he believes her to be cheating on him...with me. Why? I love her and THAT'S NOT CHEATING. Since I've hung around this girl maybe a total of one hour in my entire life I knew from that moment that I wanted her and loved her and wanted to spend my entire life with her and couldn't live without her. Dude has yet to come by, but if/when he does, I'm going to tell him that he doesn't love her and to leave her alone and not involve Jessica in any of this. Then I'll point to the telephone and tell him that if he doesn't move his butt out of the office that I'm going to involve our local police in this discussion.

i'll RACK the netboy reid reference.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:18 am

Don't judge me. I was actually around her tonight and we flirted BIG TIME. Now things should get interesting.

I will fight you all.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:59 am

Mgo, tell him your buddy AP has a lazy wandering eye and has switched jobs 27 times in 2 months and drinks beer and will travel across country to move in next door to that guy if he doesn't step off.

He'll shit his pants and back down immediately. Trust me on this.

Patrick Bateman · Post by **Patrick Bateman** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:40 pm

If someone came into my office at Pierce & Pierce and interrupted my work, I would tune up my Huey Lewis and the News tape and murder them with an axe to the face.

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:57 pm

it wasn't me but HOLY FUCKING GOD do i wish it was. i'd fly up there to beat your fucking ass if i could afford it. but my credit card is maxed out because of online porn. just wait, you' ll have your day with me fuckwad. BANK on it

XXXL · Post by **XXXL** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 2:21 am

Maybe increase your life insurance policy, jus sayin...

Raydah James · Post by **Raydah James** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 3:35 am

Dinsdale wrote:My advice, based up decades of being an obnoxious asshole, would be to A) Obviously, not worry about it too much, and B) Wait for dude to show up.When/if he does, and it becomes apparent who he is and why he's there...

Just fucking drop him. No talk, no negotiations, no explainations. Just cold fucking cock him somewhere in the Greater Melon Metropolitan Area. If that's the language he speaks, then "yell in his ear," so to speak. Then, when he drops, you don't just stop there...fuck no. Mounts the bitch, knees-in-armpits, and take out all the anger and frustration you've ever had, even going back to when you were 6 and Mom and Dad lied about Fluffy going to heaven. Beat his ass so fucking silly he doesn't know what the fuck just happened.

He won't be back.

Of course, you also need to focus on not losing sleep over the beating his ex-to-be is going to take on account of your actions...but that ain't your problem.

FUCK. HIM. UP.

Exactly.

Preferrably, where there are no witnesses. It becomes a 'your word against his' type of situation from there.

Once the cops find out (If he's stupid enough to call them after said assbeating) he went to your locale to find you, they'll dismiss it altogether and warn you both.

RACK the Tyson's punch out reset

pron · Post by **pron** » Sat Dec 30, 2006 4:24 am

Douchebag wrote:my credit card is maxed out because of online porn

If you need more porn than what is available for free at (!) http://myfreepaysite.com/ (!) then there's not much hope for you.

T1B

Douchebag is looking for me

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