Beer and Evolution....

[ChargerMike]

Some of you no doubt have seen this around (ok, sin. 2002) to those who have not...



Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the winter and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the summer.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

[ChargerMike]

When you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea! Have a point! It makes it so much more interesting for the reader.

oh sorry Jack, I dindn't add pictures so I assumed you wouldn't check in....The point...It all evolved from BEER!

[Mikey]

And of course it has nothing to do with CM's personal view of "conservative" vs. "liberal".

:wink:

('scuse me while I go check my mascara...)

[Goober McTuber]

Too bad we don’t have a forum for lame recycled emails. Oh, that’s right. We do. It’s called T.R.O.T.S.

[Tom In VA]

The story is a weak, humorless, insipid and unorigional

Spellcheck smack usually backfires.

Spellcheck smack with an edit to boot is funny.

*Spell check with an edit to boot smack being funny, is funnier when there was no edit.

*For R-Jack. My nad , post looked different the first time. I'm debugging code and my monitor is about to fly out the window as it is.

Please pass the grey poupon this crow is rather dry and bland.

[bbqjones]

tom in va is not using the asterisk properly.

[Tom In VA]

You know you're right bbq.


It's unfortunate how close "B" is to "N", it can really change the tonem to a psot.


lrotf

[bbqjones]

tom in va is not getting it.* the asterisk application needs to be applied properly. perhaps tom in va needs a turdorial.

* dins., shwold be here soon.

[Mister Bushice]

tom in va is not getting it. the asterisk application needs to be applied properly. perhaps tom in va needs a turdorial*.

* dins., shwold be here soon.

FTFY