UCLA alum flunks Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader

[420]

My brother tells me to tune into this show, "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"

It's kind of retarded, but the first guy graduated from UCLA with a 3.0.


First question: What month do we observe Columbus Day? He gets it wrong. He said September.

Second question: T or F: Polar Bears typically feed on penguins. He had no idea and used his "cheat" lifeline thing.

Third Question: If a triangle has an area of 16 square inches and a base of 8 inches, how long is its height?

He honestly did not know. He said 1 inch. I'm not even kidding. LxW/2. How fucking hard is that? The fucking 5th grader knew that!! I mean, he's like in his 30's. If he had said 2, I could understand that he forgot to divide by 2. But, um...1? 1??? So, anyways. He used his last lifeline and stayed alive.


What a fucking Magoo.

Oh, and this is rich. Just rich. His major was U.S. History, and on his last question he had no idea who the first president to be impeached was. He said freaking John Quincy Adams, but wasn't confident and walked out with $5,000. Yes, he got $5,000 without getting a single question right.


Which prompted host Jeff Foxworthy to quip: "Do you have any idea how many USC grads are lovin' this moment right now?"


I couldn't stop laughing!

[Tom In VA]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

"Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"

Question 1: What is the plural of the term Board Bitch?

[BSmack]

His major was U.S. History, and on his last question he had no idea who the first president to be impeached was.

Pathetic.

There are two types of history majors. Those with a real love of the discipline and those who thought a history major was a safe way to hide out for 4 years while drinking away mommy and daddy's money. I guess it's pretty obvious which category this clown fell into.

[trev]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

m2 thinks it was real. Let him bask in his puddle of tardom. Let him have that small joy.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Whoa now trev, wait just a second...he saw in on television, right?

So it HAS to be real!

What a fucking dunce you are, mtool.

BTW - I'd take the 5th grader over mdouche any day of the week in a basic english quiz.

[The Seer]

Question: How many mythical national football championships has UC Berkeley won in the last 8 years?


m2ool: Eight, naturally....

[Mikey]

Question: How many mythical national football championships has UC Berkeley won in the last 8 years?

That's easy...12.

[Rich Fader]

But what inquiring minds want to know is...are recent Berkeley alums smarter than a fifth grader?

[BSmack]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

So they paid someone to purposely tank a chance to win 1 million bucks? How much do you think they paid him?

[Tom In VA]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

So they paid someone to purposely tank a chance to win 1 million bucks? How much do you think they paid him?

I don't know. How much does a spot during the Super Bowl cost ? Point is, I don't think the t.v. people are above doing something like paying him to tank.

This guy cleans house and people are like "Umm yeah, what a stupid idea for a t.v. show, a 3.0 GPA student at a well known school is supposed to beat these fifth graders"

He cleans house, no interest is generated at all. He tanks, all of a sudden people are like "Holy cow, did you hear .... ". More people are going to tune in next week to see what's going on with the show.

[Ken]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

You are vasty underestimating the collective idiocy of the American public. I'll bet if you polled 100 adults and asked them the formula for figuring the area of a square, 50% would tap out.

[Tom In VA]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

You are vasty underestimating the collective idiocy of the American public. I'll bet if you polled 100 adults and asked them the formula for figuring the area of a square, 50% would tap out.

I wouldn't suggest that has anything to do with people being idiots as much as it has to do with retention of what they need. For instance, I've worked with many an engineer and a few scientists, and if it wasn't for their sheepskin on the wall you would think they're dumb.

They're not dumb, not at all, they're on a different plane and have forgotten knowledge in order to make room for knowledge that serves them in their careers and field of discipline.

Now if people are pushing out basic knowledge for what Anna Nicole ate on the day she died, that kind of trivial knowledge, then perhaps you're correct.

[Ken]

They're not dumb, not at all, they're on a different plane and have forgotten knowledge in order to make room for knowledge that serves them in their careers and field of discipline.

Now if people are pushing out basic knowledge for what Anna Nicole ate on the day she died, that kind of trivial knowledge, then perhaps you're correct.

There's a Seinfeld reset in there somewhere.

Anyways, care to contradict yourself anymore? 1st, it was they scripted this guy to fuck up. Next, he really is a certifiable dumbshit who ejected any knowledge he may have actually gleaned over the years out his shit hole.

[Tom In VA]

They're not dumb, not at all, they're on a different plane and have forgotten knowledge in order to make room for knowledge that serves them in their careers and field of discipline.

Now if people are pushing out basic knowledge for what Anna Nicole ate on the day she died, that kind of trivial knowledge, then perhaps you're correct.

There's a Seinfeld reset in there somewhere.

Anyways, care to contradict yourself anymore? 1st, it was they scripted this guy to fuck up. Next, he really is a certifiable dumbshit who ejected any knowledge he may have actually gleaned over the years out his shit hole.

You brought the discussion to a general level in discussing the "american public" and one hundred other people therefore taking it out of the context of this gentleman and this show. I offered my opinion on that. My opinion as it relates to this show and this dude, remains the same.

[Shoalzie]

A lot of people kind of choose to forget stuff they learned in grade school because they don't use it in their everyday life. I think a 5th grader will be able to answer some questions an adult couldn't because it's fresh in their mind. Honestly, I wouldn't have known whether or not polar bears eat penguins...what do I need to know that for? I know of lot of useless trivial facts but I can't say I knew that. Does that make me not as smart as a 5th grader? Kids are sponges for knowledge and the smart ones will pick up anything you teach them. I remember being that age and anything the teachers taught the class was interesting and fun. When you get older, school becomes less fun and you count down the days until you're done with it.

[Ken]

My opinion as it relates to this show and this dude, remains the same.

As does my opinion that you're grossly underestimating the stupidity of the American public... and that I'm grossly underestimating yours.

[Wolfman]

There are two types of history majors. Those with a real love of the discipline and those who thought a history major was a safe way to hide out for 4 years while drinking away mommy and daddy's money.

What about you Bri ??
crap-
I forgot--you majored in Physical Chemistry.

[Rack Fu]

You fine folks arguing that the show was a fix...

In 1959, Congress made it a crime for anyone influencing, prearranging or predetermining the outcome of TV contests of knowledge, skill or chance. Anyone familiar with the Twenty-One quiz show scandal?

I highly doubt the execs at Fox are willing to risk jail time over a show that probably won't last a season.

[Tom In VA]

You fine folks arguing that the show was a fix...

In 1959, Congress made it a crime for anyone influencing, prearranging or predetermining the outcome of TV contests of knowledge, skill or chance. Anyone familiar with the Twenty-One quiz show scandal?

I appreciate the input AND the illumination Rack Fu, I honestly was unaware of such a law. Part of me wants to suggest "loopholes" and Fox having a legal team to let them know exactly where the lines are drawn but I'm going to listen to the part of me that says .....

"Concede, get some fucking sleep".

I concede to your knowledge of the law.

[Mister Bushice]

My brother ........ "Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?"

I think it was more of a rhetorical question on his part.

[trev]

I saw the show and answered every question with no problem. Fuck you all who DIDN'T think this show was STAGED.

[trev]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

You are vasty underestimating the collective idiocy of the American public. I'll bet if you polled 100 adults and asked them the formula for figuring the area of a square, 50% would tap out.

Yeah. YOU would tap out. But then again, your 6 year old daughter gave you a black eye. You are officially a dumb American. Congrats, dumb fuck.

[Atomic Punk]

But what inquiring minds want to know is...are recent Berkeley alums smarter than a fifth grader?

m2 didn't last long at Cal nor is an alum. He said so himself.

Shoalzie is right about forgetting information you don't use. However, if you are going to be on national TV, it isn't that hard to get 5th grade curriculum and look that shit up prior to embarrassing yourself. This USC alum laughs at the fUCLAme tard from 10 miles west off the I-10.

[BSmack]

So they paid someone to purposely tank a chance to win 1 million bucks? How much do you think they paid him?

I don't know. How much does a spot during the Super Bowl cost ? Point is, I don't think the t.v. people are above doing something like paying him to tank.

This guy cleans house and people are like "Umm yeah, what a stupid idea for a t.v. show, a 3.0 GPA student at a well known school is supposed to beat these fifth graders"

He cleans house, no interest is generated at all. He tanks, all of a sudden people are like "Holy cow, did you hear .... ". More people are going to tune in next week to see what's going on with the show.

A more likely scenario is that they filmed a whole bunch of contestants and simply went with the idiot guy from UCLA to lead off the parade.

It's far more foolproof to go that way than to engage in some conspiracy that could always be uncovered sometime down the road.

Oh, and for Big O, I was one of those rare specimens with enough game to be able to drink and love history. To the tune of a 3.0+ in my major. And I know that Andrew Johnson was the first President to be Impeached, that Columbus Day is in October and that Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere and are the preyed upon by Leopard Seals, not the Arctic dwelling Polar Bears. It was the statistics and genetics classes that fucked up my GPA (and 1987 ). Which is why I would have needed a quick math refresher to remember the height of the triangle answer. Well, that and unlike Mtool, I don't need to calculate the size of a fucking triangle to build my new hut errr "home" every other fucking week.

[Ken]

There's is absolutely no way in hell that shit could have been scripted either. No way they would set a guy up to fail to generate "buzz" about the show and get people watching.

Shit's real dog.

You are vasty underestimating the collective idiocy of the American public. I'll bet if you polled 100 adults and asked them the formula for figuring the area of a square, 50% would tap out.

Yeah. YOU would tap out. But then again, your 6 year old daughter gave you a black eye. You are officially a dumb American. Congrats, dumb fuck.

Oh, Lordy. Please, say it ain't so. I'll give you an out right now...
You didn't just try to pass that off as smack, did you, trev?

[Tom In VA]

So they paid someone to purposely tank a chance to win 1 million bucks? How much do you think they paid him?

I don't know. How much does a spot during the Super Bowl cost ? Point is, I don't think the t.v. people are above doing something like paying him to tank.

This guy cleans house and people are like "Umm yeah, what a stupid idea for a t.v. show, a 3.0 GPA student at a well known school is supposed to beat these fifth graders"

He cleans house, no interest is generated at all. He tanks, all of a sudden people are like "Holy cow, did you hear .... ". More people are going to tune in next week to see what's going on with the show.

A more likely scenario is that they filmed a whole bunch of contestants and simply went with the idiot guy from UCLA to lead off the parade.

It's far more foolproof to go that way than to engage in some conspiracy that could always be uncovered sometime down the road.

I think I can buy that explanation. It allows them to stage it somewhat AND work within the confines of the law RACK FU mentioned. Of course for all we know it could have been the cousin of the producer and he wasn't elgible to win anything anyway. You know how they have those rules about family and such in contests.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Oh, Lordy. Please, say it ain't so. I'll give you an out right now...
You didn't just try to pass that off as smack, did you, trev?

A double dose of "that isn't smack" smack. Are you originally from Missouri? Or perhaps, you've taken a drive through the state in your faggoty Jetta Truckster, eh HonkeyLips?

[Goober McTuber]

Kendra was doing alot better this past week when he was just lurking and not posting. At least he didn’t get carved up too bad last night in the Cooking Forum.

[Dinsdale]

Anyone familiar with the Twenty-One quiz show scandal?

I highly doubt the execs at Fox are willing to risk jail time over a show that probably won't last a season.

First thing I thought of when the "fixed" allegations were brought up.

Fucking funny shit, really. A bunch of dumbfucks that are coming right out and confessing to forgetting much of their fifth grade education. Even with my greatly diminished memory capacity, I can't say I suffer from that same affliction.

Yet...you fifth grade might-as-well-have-been-dropouts want to deride me for being a "know it all."

No, tards...I just never found the material covered in fifth grade all that complicated that I needed to do spring cleaning of my brain and toss out basic stuff, so I could learn these bold new concepts(nevermind that MOST of you claiming to have college degrees couldn't correctly punctuate a sentence if your life depended on it).


I'm certainly not a "know-it-all." I do, however, know more than most of you. And this thread provides a lot of insight as to why.

[Rack Fu]

A few of the questions, although I knew most of them, took a few seconds to search the outer reaches of my brain for the answers. Add the element of stress being on the show and I could see how people could freeze up and have brain farts.

Some stuff like "Is the ostrich the fastest bird on foot?", I just don't fucking know the answer. I might have known the answer 25 years ago but it has since been replaced by stuff that might prove useful someday. Anything dealing with math, science, history, geography - stuff that you need to get through basic life - is pretty damn easy.

[kcdave]

I checked out that show tonight, and just I thought, it SUCKED. HORRIBLE! Reminded of that show most of you will not remember. I have no idea what the hell it was called, but basic premise, you miss a question, you got some form of mild torture. Cold rain, ice shit, blowing on your face, wind, heat. Whatever, just another horrible show.

Not quite sure Im buying the whole 5th grade bullshit though.

[420]

I have no idea what the hell it was called, but basic premise, you miss a question, you got some form of mild torture. Cold rain, ice shit, blowing on your face, wind, heat.

It's called "Kansas City"... and you're welcome.