What's the protocol if a stripper gives you a number? (M)

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 4:57 am

While in Vegas a stripper from Sapphire named Liza gave me her phone number, what am I supposed to do call her up and ask her to come ride my pole? Any Vegas posters want her number?

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:38 am

Check your wallet tool!

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:57 am

No problem.

Call her up and say, "Hey, Liza! My username is hapbeej, on Xbox."

That ought to reel her in for sure.

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 12:51 pm

RACK all the responses thus fan.

Jess, make sure you bring copies of American Pie II for her.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 1:59 pm

Jess,

I fear you've miscategorized her ~~posts~~ approach.

She gave you a telephone number because she mistook you for a FBI Info Kiosk. She needs to reach out to the authorities because she's the victim of a white slavery ring (DOWN, Kevnic!! Take it EASY!).

I suggest you lose a few pounds, shave your pate so people don't mistake you hair for armrest padding or decorative styrofoam, and wipe the alluvial fan of Crisco from your vast chins.

Strippers will then start ignoring you, which is a good thing. You're supposed to just LOOK at them, and then leave.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 4:21 pm

http://www.ruhr-uni-bochum.de/ls-wank/wank.htm

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:17 pm

Jess, you're such a dolt. That wasn't her number. She was ranking you.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:21 pm

Rootbeer wrote:Jess, you're such a dolt. That wasn't her number. She was ranking you.

Either that or Jess asked, "guess my weight."

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:22 pm

Jess,

You need to ask yourself "What would Charlie Sheen do?"

Dog · Post by **Dog** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:38 pm

I had a stripper give me a phone number once. I'm not bashful, I called her the next day. We arranged a meeting at my house. She shows up, asks what I want and how much I am willing to pay.

It was all business. Damn woman!

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Thu Mar 22, 2007 9:42 pm

Rootbeer wrote:Jess, you're such a dolt. That wasn't her number. She was ranking you.

rack

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:34 pm

Toddowen wrote:A stripper handing out her card to the same guy that we saw in that blog video a few months ago is just a little too unbelievable

Oh, it's completely believable. It's all about the stripper's intent. If you want to know more, see Dog's post. Jess is exactly the type of dude a stripper is gonna target. That's easy money.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 12:38 am

88 wrote:You are supposed to give her your number. Your VISA account number, to be exact.

I could see something similar to what happened Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love...it'll end with Jess getting beat up by a couple dudes in a pickup truck.

It's gotta be a roost. Strippers make money off lonely guys all the time...it's a scam, don't fall for it.

jtr · Post by **jtr** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:31 am

702 351 6417 is a ranking?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:37 am

jtr wrote:702 351 6417

Ok, she said $300 for an hour. $500 if you want to have sex.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:58 am

jtr wrote:702 351 6417 is a ranking?

TMI...

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:04 am

a fantastic thread of hysterical responses.

yes, please.

a fantastic opportunity to dial 702 351 6417 hysterically hundreds of times.

--rts

IndyGunClown · Post by **IndyGunClown** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:17 pm

[quote="jtr"]702 351 6417 is a ranking?[/quote]

Is this her actual number?

I take back what I said about you and being cool.

Why the fuck would you consider a strippers personal life less than this board. Jess you will never get fucking laid and will die lonely and pathetic like the rest of the losers here.

Fucking bitch move man, I dont even care who she was.

You can clown on her all you want for being a stripper, but how is your existence any fucking different with you whoring it up to Hollywood for 2 bit parts that will never earn you a decent income. Then in about 5 years when no one gives a fucking shit about your gimmick, what will you do? Come to these 10 people in the world and dance like a fucking monkey?

Enjoy your days fucking MGO in the ass, I heard he likes mayonaise on his taint and a good 30 minutes of straight licking his ass while he jerks it and cums in your face.

IndyGunClown · Post by **IndyGunClown** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:23 pm

BTW Jess, I can garauntee this whore, cunt, slut, bitch, loser, etc makes more money than you will and will retire better than your whore Hollywood wanna be ass

Dance fatass monkey, dance.

IndyGunClown · Post by **IndyGunClown** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:34 pm

[quote="MgoBlue-LightSpecial"][quote="jtr"]702 351 6417[/quote]

Ok, she said $300 for an hour. $500 if you want to have sex.[/quote]

MGO is impressed, keep dancing chimp, keep dancing.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Mar 23, 2007 1:48 pm

Just fetch me a deluxe with extra cheese and keep your fucking hole shut. And don't try to make small talk with me at my door. Just take your tip, and be grateful I afforded you an extra 40oz at the end of your shift.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 2:36 pm

[quote="IndyGunClown"][/quote]

I'm with ucant....this "troll job" has become an embarrassment....

seriously, quit posting....

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:15 pm

Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.

Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

jtr wrote:702 351 6417 is a ranking?

It's your ranking amongst the men of China. For your overall worldwide ranking, put a 1 in front of that figure. And make sure to thank the Aborigines of Australia for being so ugly that it allowed you to get that high a ranking.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 3:50 pm

I'm guessing the average Aussie Aborigine (cc: slang request, missjo) gets more ass in a week than Jess will get in his entire lifetime.

And BTW, that ain't no complaint. Any foolishness with the birth control on Jess's part will be an Earth-scalding disaster.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 5:03 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.
Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

When did m2 start trolling as Dins?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:13 pm

Shoalzie wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:
Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.
Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

When did m2 start trolling as Dins?

OK, I'll try again --

Dinsdale wrote:
Shoalzie wrote:It's gotta be a roost.
Which could be a blow to Jess' self-of-steam. When he gets their, too big guys might beet him up.

Clear things up?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:23 pm

What word do you think he meant, Dins?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:31 pm

In context, there's only one word I could possibly imagine using that vaguely resembles "roost."

Shoalzie wrote: It's gotta be a roost. Strippers make money off lonely guys all the time...it's a scam, don't fall for it.

Since "it's a scam," I can only assume he meant the stripper was perpetrating a ruse for the sake of scamming Jess.

I'm trying to rope "roost," "cousin," and "Jess" into one epic blast, but I'm coming up short...little help?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Mar 23, 2007 6:46 pm

I enjoy ribbing Shotzie for his incestuous musings... he doesn't strike me as the "ruse vs roost" type. I am thinking it's some sort of Michigan slang. If I am wrong, so be it.

the_ouskull · Post by **the_ouskull** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 7:44 pm

As for the original question...

Well Jess, I'm going to defer to a line of dialogue (not yours) from a movie that you were in...

"I recommend you stop being such a foggot."

[stream]http://moviewavs.com/0028375953/MP3S/Mo ... atbelt.mp3[/stream]

Call her.

the_ouskull

...and let's get a Media tag on this bitch, no?

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Fri Mar 23, 2007 10:48 pm

Screw you, ouskull. I saw a (M) tag on this thread and I thought that meant Moorese had posted in it. You suck.