My kids took the Weetabix challenge this weekend

[Rootbeer]

If you're unfamiliar with the Weetabix challenge, I'll summarize. You must swallow one weetabix biscuit in under 60 seconds. It can't be done but it's always entertaining to watch.

I offered $50 if anyone could do it. My son chowed down like he'd never eaten before. He got 75% of the biscuit in his mouth and the rest lay in shards around his feet. Dude couldn't chew, talk, or swallow and he could barely breathe. It was hilarious. I counted down the last twenty seconds waving the $50 in front of him. He tried and TRIED to swallow but no freaking way. You might as well swallow a jagged rock. My daughter nibbled at her biscuit like a squirrel nibbling a nut and got through a third of it before she decided to try swallowing. She had no chance. The human mouth just doesn't make enough spit. Next time I think I'll offer $20 and take away $5 per minute. That would drag out the entertainment for a while. Next time I need to video tape it also.

My son wants to try the two milk challenges. The gallon challenge which I've only seen two people accomplish and the two liter challenge which I have conquered twice. I haven't decided to let him do the milks. Not sure its warm enough outside and I don't want him puking in the house.

Typing that just reminded me of something. I was at a friend's house in 1994 where some guys were doing the gallon challenge. Christian, another friend, was on his last quart of milk with about twenty minutes to go. His buddy who wasn't doing the challenge came out of the bathroom and says "Hey, guys, you gotta see this." Since I wasn't full of milk, I was faster than the others. Never before or since have I smelled that rancid of human turd. It was incredible. Dude had flushed and everything but the stink held on like a cloud. So I came out of the bathroom and told the others "You gotta look in the bathtub." Christian is kind of a cocky sucker and he pushes through the other four guys and forces himself into the bathroom first. He emptied three quarts of milk into the bathtub like a steam cannon. The four dudes in the hall heard him puking and raced for the balcony. A waterfall of cottage cheese fell two stories and pooled in the grass below. Most of it was caught on video by another friend named Shawn who later moved to Phoenix to be a comedian. Good times. I'm glad I remembered that.

You know with a little effort I could probably make that story a lot funnier but I'm not sure you dweebs are worth the effort.

[Dinsdale]

You know with a little effort I could probably make that story a lot funnier but I'm not sure you dweebs are worth the effort.

With lines like "I counted down the last twenty seconds waving the $50 in front of him. He tried and TRIED to swallow but no freaking way" I'm pretty sure I could make it a lot funnier, too.


I've heard of the gallon of milk in one hour challenge. Never tried it, but I have a great deal of confidence that I could not only do it, but do it easily. Hell, when I get a fresh gallon of milk, I sometimes open it up and shotgun about half of it in 30 seconds...then go back for more a few minutes later.


But then again, for a skinny shit, I do pretty well in the "gluttony challenges."

[Rootbeer]

With lines like "I counted down the last twenty seconds waving the $50 in front of him. He tried and TRIED to swallow but no freaking way" I'm pretty sure I could make it a lot funnier, too.

Leave the easy homosmack to Tiny. He needs all the help he can get.

I've heard of the gallon of milk in one hour challenge. Never tried it, but I have a great deal of confidence that I could not only do it, but do it easily. Hell, when I get a fresh gallon of milk, I sometimes open it up and shotgun about half of it in 30 seconds...then go back for more a few minutes later.

The gallon challenge I'm familiar with is two part. You must drink a gallon of milk within an hour. Once it's down you must hold it for an hour. You can piss all you want but no puking.
The only two people I've seen victorious in the gallon challenge was a little college cheerleader wrapped up in an electric blanket and a big Samoan who turned two shades whiter and maybe a little green. I've never tried the gallon. The two liter isn't difficult for me. It is a little uncomfortable though.

[PSUFAN]

Cinder's getting all kinds of mad run today.

[Mister Bushice]

My son wants to try the two milk challenges. The gallon challenge which I've only seen two people accomplish and the two liter challenge which I have conquered twice. I haven't decided to let him do the milks. Not sure its warm enough outside and I don't want him puking in the house.

Yeah, Nice parenting there. Why don't you try the "Jumping off the roof of the house head first and landing uninjured" challenge?

[Mustang]

Here's something similar.....bet someone they can't eat FOUR saltine crackers (squares) in one minute. No liquid to help. Sounds easier than that wheatabix....but it's nearly impossible. I've never seen anyone do it.

[Cuda]

My son wants to try the two milk challenges. The gallon challenge which I've only seen two people accomplish and the two liter challenge which I have conquered twice. I haven't decided to let him do the milks. Not sure its warm enough outside and I don't want him puking in the house.

Yeah, Nice parenting there. Why don't you try the "Jumping off the roof of the house head first and landing uninjured" challenge?

Maybe because Biggie already has insurmountable bode in that dept, dumbfuck. Oh, wait... you specified "uninjured" didn't you?

&RACK! Rooty, imo

[Rootbeer]

My son wants to try the two milk challenges. The gallon challenge which I've only seen two people accomplish and the two liter challenge which I have conquered twice. I haven't decided to let him do the milks. Not sure its warm enough outside and I don't want him puking in the house.

Yeah, Nice parenting there. Why don't you try the "Jumping off the roof of the house head first and landing uninjured" challenge?

Why don't you try doing something with your kids that doesn't involve you getting drunk, pissing in public, beating their step-mother, and wrapping the car around your own elm tree?
We don't have to hold hands around a campfire and chant kum-ba-ya to have a good time as a family. Sometimes we'll hold hands around a campfire, chant kumbaya and throw explosives into the coals. Last one standing gets the final smores. I usually win cuz I don't have to worry about my hair catching fire.

[Mister Bushice]

My son wants to try the two milk challenges. The gallon challenge which I've only seen two people accomplish and the two liter challenge which I have conquered twice. I haven't decided to let him do the milks. Not sure its warm enough outside and I don't want him puking in the house.

Yeah, Nice parenting there. Why don't you try the "Jumping off the roof of the house head first and landing uninjured" challenge?

Why don't you try doing something with your kids that doesn't involve you getting drunk, pissing in public, beating their step-mother, and wrapping the car around your own elm tree?

You're getting me confused with a combination of Cinder, KC Dave, and Ten Tall Ben.

We don't have to hold hands around a campfire and chant kum-ba-ya to have a good time as a family. Sometimes we'll hold hands around a campfire, chant kumbaya and throw explosives into the coals. Last one standing gets the final smores. I usually win cuz I don't have to worry about my hair catching fire.

Yeah riight. Go right ahead and teach your kids all about the benfits of binge style drinking and performing jack ass type stunts. When I'm bored in a few years I'll be happy to be entertained by the story of their premature death doing something really stupid that their dad taught them.