SHIT LIST RANKINGS - week 2

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:08 am

I know that I'm prepared for June 23rd. After I kick DB's teeth in, he has an appointment scheduled at Marquette's School of Dentistry, which just happens to be walking distance from the Greyhound station.

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 4:22 am

The plan is set and this thing is in motion. There is no turning back now. The calls have been made. Contacts have been established. I'm dealing with the right people to get this thing underway. We sit back in the meeting room and laugh uncontrollably at you idiots. You have no idea what's about to hit you. It will be surreal. Douchebag is coming to your town, folks. He will show no mercy, and there is no turning back for you.

I just have to coordinate some things in Atlanta with the Choice Hotels rep and all the lodging should be set.

This is going smoothly.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 4:40 am

Stevo, you've sharpied in the semblance of a hairline.

That's good enough to earn you a special beatdown from me, after DB has been sent up the Ohio like river trash. I'll slap a big red palm mark onto your expanse of a forehead - you'll look like a branded Apache nag. It will be a distinct pleasure to wipe that butt butter-eating grin off of your face and slam your ears with the crook of my elbow. The assembled crowd will mostly scream for more. I'll dive into the river real quick to wash off the blood, and I'll go enjoy a lemonade and a kielbosa.

Qbert · Post by **Qbert** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 4:43 am

Stevo wrote: This is going smoothly.

smooth like a Hi~Protien COCKtial going down your gullet?

smooth like a hot beef injection disecting your lover's chin~pad?

or, smooth like the road that Wylie Coyote spreads ACME Tacks upon...hoping to get that roadrunner.....AGAIN?

nobody really CARES....unless you're planning on releasing an INTERNET HIV.......

snuggle up to another Amerreto Sour w/a TWIST....and get back to us after your 10 tylenols tomorrow.

this

"TROLLING"

is quite boring....

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:17 pm

Douchebag, I wanted to show you the fate of the last dude that stepped to me. I met him at the Point, beat the living shit out of him, and tossed him in the Allegheny across from PNC Park. Here he is being disciplined after River Rescue fished his stupid ass out of the river:

As you can see, he's STILL YUKKING IT UP. I'm going to arrange for a little "accident" in the jail...just to see him cry.

You're going to be dead, though...and I'm going to roll you into the river at night, so that they don't fish you out so quickly. I don't want to burden City Resources for this beatdown, and to that end I'll be hiring a cleaning service to mop up your blood and shit and shattered eyeglass and puka shell shards.

Just as long as all of this has been made perfectly CLEAR to you. ASS

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Apr 24, 2007 1:51 pm

Check out how PSU did a little multi-tasking on that poor fuck.

Not only did he kick his ass, but he also wiped his ass (finally) all over that guy's trousers. Well done!

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 3:00 pm

Staying on the move is going to be key. We don't want to settle down in one area for too long. I know the boss wants an extended stay in Vegas and Kansas City to fulfill his insatiable appetite for hot sluts and beating down tards, and once he satisfies those needs, we'll be back on the road. I'm working with some very competent people down at Greyhound and they've got our entire route mapped out. The heat will be on us if we're crippling and killing people throughout the country; so I've got plans from A-Z on how to handle local authorites as well as the FBI. We'll always be a few steps ahead of those clowns. I've purchased some very complex and high tech equipment off ebay to help us elude them.

We should be able to pull this off real clean and easy.

missjo · Post by **missjo** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 4:50 pm

Dice · Post by **Dice** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:52 pm

good job, stevo. your planning, preparation and knowledge of tracking equipment will pay huge dividends. these stupid fucking bastards have no idea the type of carnage that's coming their way.

one day you're out on your sidewalk, smiling and laughing with your neighbors, walking your fucking little poodle, and then BAM! Douchebag will spear you with a clenched fist to the chest.

on the fucking ground out cold

it's coming. Summer's coming.

DallasFanatic · Post by **DallasFanatic** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 5:55 pm

I hope you are rolling with him Dice. You look like just the right size to stuff up Douche's ass after I am done with him.

Ace · Post by **Ace** » Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:53 pm

Anal douches, cock rings, and colt gear now passes for very complex and high tech equipment.

Noted.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:27 am

ya know douchebag, that little crew of yours is pissing me off. i have decided that when you show up here, I am gonna have to kill one of them. Don't know which one. Don't even care. In fact, I think I'll have you pick one.

And no, you can't pick yourself. As much as you will be wailing in pain, I am sure that will be your pick, but, as I said earlier, I want to share you with my fellow trolls. I promise that I will not kill you or even put you on the DL and deprive others of a piece of you. What I will do is make you suffer. I will make you suffer in a way that is biblical. Fukkin' Job didn't suffer the way you will. Infact, when you are begging for me to off you, ole Job, sittin' up there in heaven with THE man will be all, "damn G, look at that!!!! I had it easy compared to poor douchebag".

That's right dupebag, you will experience pain like you haven't experienced before. I been workin' with my boy, Royce Gracie, on some submission holds. And, dude, Royce knows some fukkin' holds. He's even come up with a new one. I'm not at liberty to tell you about it other than it involves puka shells and your liver. I will lock your ass up in one of these holds, but, when you tap out, I will just turn it up a notch. You will plead with me to just kill you, but, sorry, that aint how I roll. I ain't one way like PSU.

You will live to see another day, along with most of your crew. To show you what a sport I am, I've even asked my sister in law, who is a pastoral counselor, if she could maybe help you out a bit after your ordeal. Cause, dude, you will be needin' some spiritual help.

So, who's it gonna be. I'm kinda hopin' for that slim character, to tell the truth, but, I'm gonna put it on you.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 12:29 am

DallasFanatic wrote:I hope you are rolling with him Dice. You look like just the right size to stuff up Douche's ass after I am done with him.

are you kiddin' me? that fukking runt? you could jam him up there sideways and there'd still be room left for a few others.

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 8:07 pm

As I told Stevo earlier, it's going to be damn near impossible for me to keep from flat-out BLASTING some of these pricks on my own during scouting trips.

I'll keep my shit tight of course, 'cause we follow orders like men, but it's going to be hard not to knock mother fuckers OUT.

Almost time, Sunshine.

Almost time.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:15 pm

Damn R-Jack, looks like Rollins is already slamming one of your Urinebrau specialties in his av. Actually, it looks more like Pissweiser, but Rollins does seem to really enjoy a good ol' swig of piss. You can just hear him moaning "Mmmm, urinelicious." as he rubs one out in the bottom of the frame.

But what the hell is up with wanting to keep his "shit tight"? And "following orders like men"? Rollins must be the group punching bag, ready at all times for the "crew" to pull a train. Damn, what a sick little twinklestick.

And Stevo, seriously, what the fuck is up with your melon? It looks like Dolly Parton puked up a ginormous eyelash on your greasy bald head and the mascara started to run. If PSUFAN follows through on his promise, and I know he will, that palm print he's gonna' brand onto your ever expanding forehead will make you look like the loose-caboose squaw that you really are.

Douchebugger, you and your posse of pussies are doomed from the get-go. Your coast-to-coast beatdowns by T1B are going to be sublime.

Pucker up buttercups, it is going to get medieval up in here.

Steiner · Post by **Steiner** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:37 pm

R-Jack wrote:If you want me to recognize you try this. Get one of your epic crew members to find you a pair of those Reef sandals that have the bottle opener on the sole. When you step up I will remember to carry around a sealed beer bottle full of my own piss.

I learned the hard way a full beer bottle doesn't shatter over your head like in the movies. When you step up, I'll brain you with a bottle full of my own urine until you can't control your bowels and your own shit falls out of your chino shorts. As you are stumbling around barely able to stand, you will step in your own fecal matter before you collapse.

For the finish, I will crack open the bottle with the bottom of your soiled flip-flops and shove the contents down your gullet. If drinking a bottle of my own piss with trace amounts of your own shit in it passes as a fun time, I'll see you in a few.

and just who in the flying fuck do you think you are?

LISTEN up, you pencil penis shitbucket: obviously you are retarded because in REAL LIFE AS WELL, full beer bottles don't shatter over someone's head. i'll show you the hard way how much a fucking full liquor bottle hurts when it comes CRASHING down on your dome. i'll make you wish you were fucking terri schiavo with all the pAIN i'm going to put you thruogh.

GO DICAn'T FUCKiNG WAIT TO OFF YOU LOSERS.

Steiner · Post by **Steiner** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:40 pm

and don't FUCK with my main man, stevo. w hat you don't know about stevo is when he's not setting up the tang that i and DB turn out every fucking night, eh's fucking hookers in the deuce with no rubbers before kicking them into the streets, the good for nothing pieces of shit they are.

no cab fare, no clothes, no fucking nothing. that's just how stevo ROLLS.

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:41 pm

I can't believe you clowns are still flapping your damn gums.

I pulled a fucking all-nighter last night going over some Mui Tai notes to give to Stevo for Douchebag's fight database. This shit is fucking SERIOUS and by the time you poor bastards figure it out, THE CREW will have rolled over your city and left nothing but a trail of tears and blood in our wake. But don't let that stop you from begging for death by busting on my freakishly good looks.

Just so happens that picture uses a bad angle and was taken some time ago with one of those wide-angle lens thingies. I'm so rocked up in real life your girlfriends won't even pause to say "I'm sorry" before leaving your asses for my stick.

That's right, FOOL. She'll be pounding forties with me in the VIP while I pound her in the ass. And I'm a beer snob, too. I don't mess with any of that piss water they sell in grocery stores and shit holes like Kansas City. We wreck Bud forties. NOTHING BUT THE KING FOR THE CREW, BABY. Me and Steiner split almost six forties when we were out clubbing a couple weeks ago and would have killed a seventh if we weren't so busy pounding hot bitches.

Gotta go for now. The latest UFC videos will be here any minute from Netflix, and I have to break them down before our meeting tomorrow.

Fucks.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:51 pm

this shit is on. I can't believe Rollins is here now.

DallasFanatic · Post by **DallasFanatic** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 9:55 pm

Rollins wrote: Me and Steiner split almost six forties when we were out clubbing a couple weeks ago

I can just see the two of you pussies now, splitting a forty. No doubt the clubs you were visiting were filled with faggots. Bring as many forties as you want to California (sup Trojan), I will shove them all up your fat fucking ass. You guys are going to be a pleasure to erase from the face of the earth. I'll see you in a couple of months bitches.

Steiner · Post by **Steiner** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:03 pm

DallasFanatic wrote:I can just see the two of you pussies now, splitting a forty. No doubt the clubs you were visiting were filled with faggots. Bring as many forties as you want to California (sup Trojan), I will shove them all up your fat fucking ass. You guys are going to be a pleasure to erase from the face of the earth. I'll see you in a couple of months bitches.

you faggots just don't get it, do you? DF, i'm going to curb you so bad IRIE will have more teeth when i'm finished with you.

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:09 pm

Rollins wrote: Me and Steiner split almost six forties when we were out clubbing a couple weeks ago and would have killed a seventh

Did you have two straws in those forties for you and Steiner to share?

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:30 pm

Louis Cyphre wrote:Did you have two straws in those forties for you and Steiner to share?

Oh they shared a couple of straws alright. They plunger them hungrily into Stevo's auns, after the prequisite anal sex natch'. Then they both coquettishly enjoy the bubbly brown broth emanating from Stevo's dialated rectum.

They call it, rather coyly, shrimp stew.

That's just their appetizer.

Their collective beatdown is the main course.

Bon appettite faggots.

Dice · Post by **Dice** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:32 pm

i'd cool it if I were you, Jay. D-Bag logs on here and takes notes of the things you fucking shitstains say, and will remember this shit right before he raises his fists.

The fact is, YOU have shown him very little respect. I can assure you this won't end well for you.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:37 pm

Goddammit Dice, you silly cockbag. I have shown DouchBug NO FUCKING RESPECT WHATSOEVER you bleach-blonde crack whore. Tell that fat fecal fucking fagboy the only thing he'll get to respect is the almighty power of my fists as the crush is stupid face.

And shit is debbinately what he's going to remember. I'll be serving it to him in platters.

Bon appettite faggots.

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:42 pm

Hey Stevo, go ahead and get a double read on this guy.

Tracking number: 32867
Location: Phoenix, Arizona

On my que, go ahead and send the signal. Ping 385736.

Re-direct the info to box 77.6

Get on it. NOW.

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:47 pm

All set, boss.

The confirmation # has been sent through. We've got a double read on one, Jay in Phoenix, and he's sorted in column C.

tuff gong · Post by **tuff gong** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:48 pm

wow Douchebag - deadly #9 on the list of doom. Fukk, I SAID I was sorry! I thought I asked you guys to please not kick my ass. Fukk, I'm shittin my pants thinking of what gruesome fate awaits me when the Greyhound rolls into town. The Leehotti guys will pour out of the bus and as I flee in terror they will unleash their deadly gel-ray, releasing a stream of super strong hair gel that will immobilize me in mid-stride -- just like Mr. Freeze zapping Batman + Robin with his cryogenic ice gun.

Or maybe Rollins, Dice & Stevo will swarm their victims like killer bees and suffocate them with aqua velva fumes. Somebody stop them!

Release me from this nightmare!

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:49 pm

By the way, none of you idiots will know what any of this means. That's the beauty of it. It's all technical jargon, just language that relates to the very complex technology and tracking/radar equipment I am using. So don't try to decipher it. You won't be able to.

Basically, you're fucked.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 10:59 pm

Well that was strange. I had just taken this wicked nasty crap, you know, one of them long curling bad boys that had the extra funk on it. As I was pushing the flush control, I had the whimsical notion to christen the turd the USS Douchebag. As it circled the drain, breaking apart and running the toilet water a rich brown, there was this odd 'pinging' sound.

Weird.

A-Bomb · Post by **A-Bomb** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:09 pm

DallasFanatic wrote:I can just see the two of you pussies now, splitting a forty. No doubt the clubs you were visiting were filled with faggots. Bring as many forties as you want to California (sup Trojan), I will shove them all up your fat fucking ass. You guys are going to be a pleasure to erase from the face of the earth. I'll see you in a couple of months bitches.

HEY BOSS, PLEASE LET ME FINISH THIS GUY OFF. I WANT TO STOMP HIS FUCKING FACE IN WITH MY FOOTBALL CLEATS. THEN I WANT TO STICK HIS BROKEN TEETH IN THE HOLES ON HIS FACE AND CONNECT THE DOTS WITH HIS FUCKING BLOOD

I WANT YOU DALLASFANATIC!!! I WILL CRUSH YOU

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Wed Apr 25, 2007 11:10 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Louis Cyphre wrote:Did you have two straws in those forties for you and Steiner to share?
Oh they shared a couple of straws alright. They plunger them hungrily into Stevo's auns, after the prequisite anal sex natch'. Then they both coquettishly enjoy the bubbly brown broth emanating from Stevo's dialated rectum.

They call it, rather coyly, shrimp stew.

That's just their appetizer.

Their collective beatdown is the main course.

Bon appettite faggots.

The things that doughnut punchers do to each other makes me want to puke.

Steiner · Post by **Steiner** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:24 am

R-Jack wrote:Uh yeah....I know. I even said as such. You actually highlighted it.

DON'T you fucking mock me ASSHOLE. I can't fucking StAND IT WHEN PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF ME. Just shut up. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

Douchebag · Post by **Douchebag** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 12:32 am

listen up Steiner - if this pathetic shitsicle R-Jack earns the distinction of getting paralyzed, I MIGHT let you finish the job. after you snap his neck i'll order Rollins to take a giant shit on his back and spread it around as to lube him up, that way he'll glide down tthe fucking mountain we push him off like a warm stick of butter.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 1:11 am

hey douchebag, where'd you find that steiner character? if you like to fukk people up so much, you really ought to start with his mom.

that fetal alcohol syndrome is a mutherfukker, huh, stein?

Stevo · Post by **Stevo** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 1:37 am

smackaholic wrote:hey douchebag, where'd you find that steiner character? if you like to fukk people up so much, you really ought to start with his mom.

that fetal alcohol syndrome is a mutherfukker, huh, stein?

It isn't wise to poke fun at any of us. Especially me. The type of tracking devices I use can keep tabs on earthworms hundreds of feet below the ground.

Just think about that when you hit the interstate with that piece of shit RV of yours. I'll know where you are at all times.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:09 am

Jess has a brother?

Shalom Motherfucker.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:16 am

Stevo wrote:The type of tracking devices I use can keep tabs on earthworms hundreds of feet below the ground.

Just think about that when you hit the interstate with that piece of shit RV of yours. I'll know where you are at all times.

EAD Loser.

I got a blackberry that make's Jack Bauer's cell phone look like a Captain Crunch Decoder ring.
The mother fucker can jack store cams, sattelites and the SDI proton missle defense system.
It's hooked to my USD Drive and I can see your ass right fucking now.

Why do you have Raiduh James pic as a screensaver?

Fag.

tuff gong · Post by **tuff gong** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:18 am

R-Jack wrote: Porcupiner.

You've identified his secret weapon: he will shoot his quills and their barbed ends will burrow deep in your flesh.

As long as I'm hiding behind R-Jack I might mention that Steiner has beady eyes and a donut chin.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:47 am

greco roman rasslin' silver medalist, heavyweight div
2004 special olympics