Hell...let's just make it 5 bucks a gallon

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:40 pm

BSmack wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:Fucking classic. And the "anklebiter" part -- money can't buy displays of retardation such as this...truly priceless. Just picking random lines out of the Tard Handbook, and hoping one of them might appear appropriate....tears, Falwell, tears.
Anklebiting is as anklebiting does. What HH did was a textbook example. Even if he did win a "Smackoff".

Actually, it's a textbook example of smack. Not that you'd know a fucking thing about it. See, you posted something, and I twisted it to make fun of you.

That is smack. Or at least it used to be, once upon a time.

A few years ago, when you gameless tards realized you could try and deflect smack by calling any iteration of it "anklebiting" thereby making the purveyor of the smack appear as the gameless one, was when smack really started to die.

It wasn't anklebiting, it was a drive by. There is a distinct difference. What Kaley does to Paul, follow him around everywhere and just nip at him regardless of content is anklebiting. Illuminating the fact that the village you now live in has a new idiot, besides being fact, is drive by smack.

You'd do well to learn the difference.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:43 pm

RACK da' Hoontah...one of the few Old-Schoolers left.

Headhunter wrote: You'd do well to learn the difference.

Trying to teach the Tard Twin about anything even vaguely related to smack is like teaching Jess about the Tao of Steve...useless.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed May 16, 2007 8:59 pm

Headhunter wrote:It wasn't anklebiting, it was a drive by.

It was a drive by attempt to nip at my ankles. You added nothing to the context of the thread, you simply got off a cheap shot that had absolutely nothing to do with the subject of the thread. That is textbook anklebiting. That you only took one nip doesn't change that fact.

BTW: What Kaley does to Paul is nothing more than spamming.

Now, let us get back to the topic at hand.

Shoalzie,

You're paying 3.49 a gallon???

Usually Rochester takes gas price hikes harder than most. But we're still in the 2.85 (if you have a BJ's membership) to 3.20 range. WTF is happening out in Michigan?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:14 pm

So, Tard Twin #1, despite a week of absolutelky brutal beatdowns, for the simple reason that he's a Tard, which was the same reason he was completely helpless and unable to mitigate the beatdowns...

is now attempting to lectute OTHERS on smack?

Good God, I've died and gone to Comedy Heaven.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:17 pm

Read more, post less, B-Monica, you fucking pathetic twat

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:17 pm

Dinsdale wrote:So, Tard Twin #1, despite a week of absolutelky brutal beatdowns, for the simple reason that he's a Tard, which was the same reason he was completely helpless and unable to mitigate the beatdowns...

is now attempting to lectute OTHERS on smack?

Good God, I've died and gone to Comedy Heaven.

This sounds like a driveby ankle-biting pile-on to me.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:20 pm

Dinsdale wrote:is now attempting to lectute OTHERS on smack?

If the shoe fits, wear it. Speaking of ankle biters, I've noticed a whole lot more of YOU on my cuffs.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:21 pm

Goober McTuber wrote: This sounds like a driveby ankle-biting pile-on to me.

I guess we'll have to consult the Tard Twins' Smack Handbook for an official ruling. I mean, we need stalwarts like Bitchslapped to use his supreme command of smack to offer up these judgements.

And as soon as I get some sound advice from TVO about ducking low overhangs, then complete my assigned reading from my latest educational persuit, entitled Mastering the English Language by Suncoastsooner, I'll be allaboutit.

the_ouskull · Post by **the_ouskull** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:24 pm

Raydah James wrote:RACK the gas prices shooting up.

I fucking hope they get to $7.00 a gallon here before summer is out.

Did you leave out the, "Sincerely, Dumbfuck," or what?

the_ouskull

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:27 pm

Headhunter wrote:
BSmack wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:Fucking classic. And the "anklebiter" part -- money can't buy displays of retardation such as this...truly priceless. Just picking random lines out of the Tard Handbook, and hoping one of them might appear appropriate....tears, Falwell, tears.
Anklebiting is as anklebiting does. What HH did was a textbook example. Even if he did win a "Smackoff".

Actually, it's a textbook example of smack. Not that you'd know a fucking thing about it. See, you posted something, and I twisted it to make fun of you.

That is smack. Or at least it used to be, once upon a time.

A few years ago, when you gameless tards realized you could try and deflect smack by calling any iteration of it "anklebiting" thereby making the purveyor of the smack appear as the gameless one, was when smack really started to die.

It wasn't anklebiting, it was a drive by. There is a distinct difference. What Kaley does to Paul, follow him around everywhere and just nip at him regardless of content is anklebiting. Illuminating the fact that the village you now live in has a new idiot, besides being fact, is drive by smack.

You'd do well to learn the difference.

This was spot on.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:28 pm

You mean it gets better?

Frankly, I think it's time to put an end to this madness. It's not like T1B came up with a cure for cancer and an end to world famine, which changed the world. Therefore, I seriously doubt we've done anything to deserve this much entertainment.

I mean, the Undisputed King of Piled-On Tards is now figuring that trumpeting "you're biting my ankles" enough times is somehow going to pull him out of the smack-cellar?

I mean...it might work, right? If you throw some furious combination of "you're biting my ankles" and "I'm sooooo in your dome," you then can tactfully set up the knockout blow...the dreaded "I know you are, but what am I."

And not just your run-of-the-mill IKYABWAI blast, like "if the shoe fits" example -- no, siree...we're talking a full on "I'm not a Tard...YOU'RE a Tard" salvo.

I mean sure -- it will result in yet another notorious trip the the archives, as a lesson to the children on why you shouldn't strive to be a Tard, but look on the bright side, BSackless -- they'll probably erect a statue of you in Kansas City.

So you've got that going for you...

You complete fucking tool.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:28 pm

BSmack wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:is now attempting to lectute OTHERS on smack?
If the shoe fits, wear it. Speaking of ankle biters, I've noticed a whole lot more of YOU on my cuffs.

Oh shit, here it comes ...

Wait for it ...

IKYABWAI

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:31 pm

Smackie,

In all fairness to BSmack, that’s more of a I Know He Is And So Are You.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:36 pm

Smackie Chan wrote: IKYABWAI

The Tards have grown to become innovative with their attacks. I'm not even sure if this fits into the subset known as the "IKYABWAI Variants."

Nope, this is a whole new scourge on the landscape -- the "you called me out for incorrectly referring to people as 'anklebiters,' which makes you an anklebiter."

It's like there's another Kansas City residing in a parallel universe, or something, and a very strange twist of the space/time continuum has allowed it to intersect with the universe that we currently know.

It's like the End Times for the Nation's Breadbasket.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:39 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
BSmack wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:is now attempting to lectute OTHERS on smack?
If the shoe fits, wear it. Speaking of ankle biters, I've noticed a whole lot more of YOU on my cuffs.
Oh shit, here it comes ...

Wait for it ...

IKYABWAI

If you mean we all nip at ankles, yes we do. I'm just as guilty as you or Dins. In fact this whole board has become nothing more than a bunch of drive by, anklebiting cheap shots. The only people working for laughs these days are the trolls behind the Douchebag Crew and the odd Mike Backer post. If pointing that out bothers you, then I suggest looking in the mirror.

You're from KC comeback in 3...2...1...

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:41 pm

Dinsdale wrote:I'm not even sure if this fits into the subset known as the "IKYABWAI Variants.".

I vote yea- imo.

It was clearly a case of IKIABWAY, btw

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:45 pm

Cuda wrote:It was clearly a case of IKIABWAY, btw

I only wish Tard Twin #1 would have adressed this in his State of the Board Adress -- since he's clearly qualified to make such assessments.

OK Admins...just shut this board down. Shoot it, and bury it in the backyard. We're at Peak Smack, and it's all downhill from here. This board will never be funnier than the reigning King of Tards attempting to give a smack sermon from the mountaintop*.

* -- bottom of the pile

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:47 pm

Dinsdale wrote:* -- bottom of the pile

^^^^^^^^^^ Flashing back to chicks shitting on your shlong?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 9:58 pm

BSmack wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:* -- bottom of the pile
^^^^^^^^^^ Flashing back to chicks shitting on your shlong?

Let me guess...your next move is the dreaded "you're using non sequiturs" smack?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:02 pm

BSmack wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:
BSmack wrote: If the shoe fits, wear it. Speaking of ankle biters, I've noticed a whole lot more of YOU on my cuffs.
Oh shit, here it comes ...

Wait for it ...

IKYABWAI
If you mean we all nip at ankles, yes we do. I'm just as guilty as you or Dins. In fact this whole board has become nothing more than a bunch of drive by, anklebiting cheap shots. The only people working for laughs these days are the trolls behind the Douchebag Crew and the odd Mike Backer post. If pointing that out bothers you, then I suggest looking in the mirror.

You're from KC comeback in 3...2...1...

I just find it tiresome that everything is placed neatly into its designated bin, identifying it as some category or another of smack, which ultimately leads to the conclusion that, because it falls into such and such a category, it's not really smack at all, and we're left with ... no smack, because it's all been played out. That being said, you're confusing ankle-biting with drive-by, which are two almost mutually exclusive categories. The drive-by, which Salad Tosser recently (and accurately) accused me of practicing, is tantamount to a hit & run - you get in, take a quick and often cheap shot, then get out. Ankle-biting, by contrast, requires the perpetrator to stick around the target and take multiple, repeated, and often unwarranted shots before executing the dismount. The two varieties are easily distinguishable from one another, and shouldn't be confused.

But getting back to my original banal point, just look at this small sample of the categories of smack, in addition to the two just discussed, that researchers of this science have identified:

Homo smack
Job smack
Spelling smack
Grammar smack
Location smack ('sup, KC?)
Wytching (still fresh when expertly performed, btw)
Stature smack (Ya feelin' me, TVO?)
Post total smack
And, of course, IKYABWAI

The list goes on, and eventually the well runs dry as it relates to anything innovative, because everything is categorized.

Sorry to be such a buzzkill.

ElvisMonster · Post by **ElvisMonster** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:09 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Tard Twins' Smack Handbook

I'm not sure if we do this here, but...

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:12 pm

After my last post, I should prolly change my sig.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:14 pm

Smackie Chan wrote: The list goes on, and eventually the well runs dry as it relates to anything innovative, because everything is categorized.

Sorry to be such a buzzkill.

See, but what isn't taken into account here is the whole "creativity" concept. It's the reason that stand-up comedy still has a booming market.

Some people have it, and other's ain't.

Hell, a well-placed IKYABWAI blast can be executed with hilarious results -- it's just that a certain geographically-identified contingent lacks any sort of creativity, and simply revert to "I'm not a Tard...YOU'RE a Tard!" Hence, the recent disdain fir anything even vaguely resembling IKYABWAI of late.

At the root of it all -- there's vertain people who just don't get it. Most of the KC Contingent falls into this category, and BSmack has risen to the position of Leader of the Clueless.

The sad part of it is, that the light isn't suddenly going to come on for them one day. Tardism is an incurable affliction, and it's terminal.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:26 pm

Smackie Chan wrote: And, of course, IKYABWAI

Easily the most used genre as of a late, and I'm as guilty as anyone of perpetrating it. I'm trying to be careful in not doing it anymore, and will just let the cheap (or not) shots roll off my back if I can't comeback with something more substantial than "Oh, yeah? Well you're a bigger 'tard."

The key is in getting the cheap (or not) shot in 1st, so you're not just going all rubber and glue. Let the recipient be the one having to field that slow roller whilst I steam down the basepath as fast as my feet can fly.

I just might beat that sucker out.

Husker4ever · Post by **Husker4ever** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:29 pm

BSmack wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:is now attempting to lectute OTHERS on smack?
If the shoe fits, wear it. Speaking of ankle biters, I've noticed a whole lot more of YOU on my cuffs.

Cuffs? Get your toughskins on clearance? Buy a pair that fits unless you're still sporting the tapered leg-rolled up into cuffs-exposing the red chuck taylor high-tops look.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:30 pm

War Wagon wrote:I just might beat that sucker out.

RACK!!!!

Oh...you were talking about the pitch, not the shortstop?

Nevermind.

Sin,
SoCalTrojan

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:30 pm

Dinsdale wrote:but what isn't taken into account here is the whole "creativity" concept. It's the reason that stand-up comedy still has a booming market.

While I won't argue with creativity being a critical element, what I look for is the unexpected, whether it be in stand-up comedy, TV sitcoms, or message boards. In far too many instances, I can see the punchline coming a mile away, and when it's delivered, it has no impact as a result. Merging the concepts, it's the creative mind that is able to craft unexpected humor. It's what made (or makes) shows like The Simpsons, Cheers and, of course, your all-time favorite, Everybody Loves Raymond, stand apart from the crowd. They all rely on skilled writers and gifted actors (such as Groundskeeper Willie) to pull the punchline outta left field and deftly deliver it. An example from today's episode of T1B was mvscal's "dirtpipe Jesus" blast. The timing was spot-on, and the delivery was masterful, despite the fact that this is exactly the type of material one expects from that particular poster.

Comedy is art.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed May 16, 2007 10:42 pm

Smackie Chan wrote: Comedy is art.

For clarification -- "Art" is not some dude that fat little fucks can keep hostage in their basement.

Cueball · Post by **Cueball** » Wed May 16, 2007 11:45 pm

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu May 17, 2007 12:03 am

And you people are shocked and pissed?

This makes you morons.

The free market system was replaced by special interests buying the government, who did the special-interest's bidding by dictating exactly who got to participate in this "free market."

So, how do you clowns express your love of American Values and protest this amazing bit of anti-Americanism that was aimed solely at victimizing the American Consumer?

Why of course...you vote in an oilman. That should loosen the grip of the select few "free market" participants on the American Consumer.

Fucking tards.

Don't get pissed at the oil companies -- look right in the mirror, and get pissed at yourself. You brought this on yourself when even after years of abuse, you still wouldn't stand up for the US Constitution. When yet another special interest says "but bypassing the Constitution is for your own good," you bend over and take it like complete fucking tools.

You've been not only tolerating it, but encouraging it your entire lives...and an extra few cents at the pump is what it's finally taking for the light to come on?

Every time you see that price go up, you SHOULD feel fucking stupid. The People grant rights to the government, not the other way around. And when the government starts granting rights to only certain people, it might be a red flag, eh tardlings?

But it's taking an extra couplefew bucks at the gas pump to make you scratch your head about it...fucking ponderous.

The reason the people of this country are being exploited by Big Oil is...quite frankly...because they're stupid fucking pussies.

"But if you give up your Rights, we can score you cheaper gas!"

Oh, Okay!"

"If you surrender a couple more rights, we can protect you from the terrrrists that are pissed off at us for scoring you cheaper gas!"

Oh, Okay.

But NOW all of a sudden you come to the realization that maybe those people who have completely undermined the American way of life to make a few billion aren't always looking out for YOUR best interest, even though you sacrifice your childrens' lives to protect the very interests that have sunbverted your rights for profit...

and this is somehow some strange revelation?

This reads like a bad fucking science fiction novel, not a history book, because in theory, NO ONE is dumb enough to fall for that...are they?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu May 17, 2007 12:48 am

^^^I'm going to print that and shred it into very small pieces. Then mix it with Scott's speedy green and get to spreading it over that shady spot in my backyard that just refuses to yield tall fescue. If that doesn't work, nothing will.

Thanks, Dins. That's some golden shit.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu May 17, 2007 1:05 am

Dinsdale wrote:Why of course...you vote in an oilman. That should loosen the grip of the select few "free market" participants on the American Consumer.

An oilman whose administration losened the government's ability to enforce collection of oil royalties on federal lands. Allegedly.

Fewer tax dollars from the oil companies that are required to pay for the privilege of drilling on OUR land? No WAY!

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu May 17, 2007 1:36 am

BSmack wrote:
smackaholic wrote:now why's a card carrying commie pinko hippie fag democrat like you driving an SUV? Lemme guess, it's all good cause you bought some carbon credits too.
When you live in the "snow belt", you come to appreciate 4 wheel drive. I drove a Mercury tracer for 8 years. That was enough. If a hybrid 4x4 hits the market at the right price, I'll buy it because it makes economic sense. But don't think that just because I think Bush is a babbling retard that I am rushing to be first in line to buy into everything Al Gore has to say on global warming.

that I live in the snow belt, so I need an SUV is a buncha bullshit. If you live in the snow belt and your an ER doc, maybe having one makes sense. For the rest of us a fwd car with a decent set of all season tires is plenty. When a huge fukking storm hits, just chill. The gubmint has these big orange dump trucks, you see. They have big hunks of steel on the front called plows. They send these trucks out when the big snow hits to push it around some and wreck folks mailboxes. After a few hours of pushing that stuff around, enough of it gets off the road and then you can actually drive around in normal fwd cars. If you have a mustang or 2wd truck, well, you gotta sit tight till about june.

So dump the SUV, buy a two year old taurus (gawd bless american POS resale, or lack thereof) and for christ's sake spend a few dollars on new treads now and then. Trust me on this. I skated around in my SHO on racing slicks for a few winters. Not much fun.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu May 17, 2007 1:36 am

The righteous indignation just drips from you, RF. If I didn't know any better, I'd think this thread was about Jim Nance.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu May 17, 2007 1:50 am

War Wagon wrote:righteous indignation

I shouldn't have to pay taxes, either. The thing is though, if I don't, the government will come after me.

Oil companies? Nope. Not under this administration.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Thu May 17, 2007 2:39 am

Dinsdale wrote:you vote in an oilman.

Who, Chimpy?

He's no more an Oil Man than he was a Baseball Man

Or maybe you mean Cheney. He's not an Oil Man either. The most he ever was was a Political Connection. You ask him what oil is and he'll probably say it's something you cook french-fries in.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu May 17, 2007 3:20 am

RadioFan wrote: I shouldn't have to pay taxes, either.

Yes, that is a bummer, but it's the price we pay for "freedom", eh?

I should hit the Powerball jackpot without even having to buy a ticket, but sadly, I'll still drag my dawg ass out of bed at 5:30 am sharp and go to work tomorrow.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu May 17, 2007 4:07 am

BSmack wrote:The only people working for laughs these days are the trolls behind the Douchebag Crew and the odd Mike Backer post.

Hey Bri, sorry for stepping in another pile-on thread and all... but you DO know Mike Backer is TNW's ole Branman right? Someone outted him about 6 months or so after he signed in under the new nic. I was still in New Jersey when that happened a few years ago. Brannie has always been up front and I give him the benefit of a doubt when it comes to storytelling. In fact, I wasn't even disturbed at the bathroom stall floor dealio. That is just something he would do. Rack him for that story anyway.

Well, I'll jump out of this other pile-on and find a thread where you aren't get pummeled.

Take care friend!

Oh, and Smackie's assessment was dead-on accurate and HH prolly explained it with too much emphasis on reading skills. Thanks Smackie for describing a "drive-by" versus "ankle biting" in simpler terms. Can't argue with either one of them although they sometimes smack me for stupid things I write. Shit happens.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu May 17, 2007 5:13 am

Yea Mike, I know of Brannie's alias. I think Luther sussed him out.

As for the rest, it doesn't much matter. We're just splitting hairs. It's like trying to decide if you would rather have herpes or genital warts.

RadioFan · Post by **RadioFan** » Thu May 17, 2007 5:59 am

War Wagon wrote:
RadioFan wrote: I shouldn't have to pay taxes, either.
Yes, that is a bummer, but it's the price we pay for "freedom", eh?

You're right.

We're here to protect you. We don't need to pay taxes.

Sin,

The oil companies. Get it, yet?

Damn, dude. Dinsdale just kicked your ass, and he didn't even have to post. That's got to be some sort of record. Then again, you are a loyal, Bud Light tithing tard, and "proud of it." So no real surprise.

Next time, click on some links, champ. It might help you out.