everything is FUCKED

[Douchebag]

Holy fucking god. Shit is going fucking DOWN. things are not good. things are REALLY not good. i'm fucked. i don't know what to do. everything is FUCKED.

I came home last saturday afternoon and dropped by headquarters. I noticed a foul smell in the air so I entered through the secret underground door in the back, and walked slowly with my fists tightening, ready to be thrown. when i entered the tech room, i saw everything had been destroyed. Our new plasma tvs - shattered to pieces. all of our computers fu cking BUSTED to pieces. i saw pukas all over the floor.

then i kept walking until the stench hit its peak...in the fucking bathroom. there was dice. lying on the ground with his face in the toilet and his ass hanging in the air. with his fucking pants around his ankles. there was a nasty mixture of blood and shit rubbed all over his back which formed to say "FUCK THE CREW".

i y elled out, "WHY!!!!!! FUCKING WHY????!!!!"

after my breakdown i gathered myself and kept looking around, surveying the damage. That's when I found the note. It was from O'Cyrus...stevo's arch enemy:

Fucking O'Cyrus! The cocksucker! i have to track this fuck down, kill him, and get stevo and Rollins back safely. I simply CANNOT go on with the tour without these guys. they're vital cogs in this operation.

But rest assured, faggots the tour WILL go down as planned. i do fucking professional work here, and i will make good on my word to do away with you shitsuckles.

EAT SHIT AND DIE

[L45B]

Hey D-Bag,
Just how in the fuck are you gonna find Stevo when he's the only one who knows how to work all the anal probing equipment & tracking devices?

[See You Next Wednesday]

Somebody has too much time on their hands.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Joos reemember Douchemarichon, choor next!


Sin,

[Mr T]

Somebody has too much time on their hands.

Thats what i have been saying to myself through this whole thing.

Someone is out of a job or not been getting any pussy.

[tuff gong]

Somebody has too much time on their hands.

Thats what i have been saying to myself through this whole thing.

Someone is out of a job or not been getting any pussy.

or has some dedication to the board's welfare - and/or simply likes to create. Would you prefer a board that stands still?

[Ace]

The lack of leadership is getting the crew killed. Time for a change. Perhaps someone who is not fat, a drunk, and enjoys the occasional tube steak would be the ideal candidate

[Cuda]

Joos reemember Douchemarichon, choor next!


Sin,

Nice to see Erik Estrada & Jose Canseco both landed on their feet.

[PSUFAN]

another Douche bites the dust.

[MuchoBulls]

so I entered through the secret underground door in the back

So you entered through Stevo's ass?

[See You Next Wednesday]

Somebody has too much time on their hands.

Thats what i have been saying to myself through this whole thing.

Someone is out of a job or not been getting any pussy.

or has some dedication to the board's welfare - and/or simply likes to create. Would you prefer a board that stands still?

Would I care?

[Mr T]

Somebody has too much time on their hands.

Thats what i have been saying to myself through this whole thing.

Someone is out of a job or not been getting any pussy.

or has some dedication to the board's welfare - and/or simply likes to create. Would you prefer a board that stands still?

I dont have any stock in the company, so no I wouldnt care.

I would much rather see a true meltdown than a WWF made up one.

Ex. A certain poster talking about gazing at another dudes cock as it runs in and out of his wifes ass, or another certain poster reseting a two year old scobode topic about combining the boards and then getting beat down about his fat wife, or a certain poster getting caught ctrl-p other posts from other boards, ect.

[Mr T]

I would much rather see a true meltdown than a WWF made up one.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but nobody really gives a fuck what you would rather see.

Tuff asked a question to me and I replied. So he must give a fuck on what I would rather see.

And obviously you do, bececause you read my reply on what I would rather see and replied to it.

So I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are a fucking dumbfuck.

[Quad McWheels]

It's kind of nice to be the 2nd "least-abled" on this site.

Thanks, douchefag.

-QmcW

P.S. Hawking doesn't count. Dude is like all smart and shit.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

And obviously you do, bececause you read my reply on what I would rather see and replied to it.

The T1B Tard Handbook needs updating I see. Or maybe... this kind of circular logic falls under "You smacked me so I am in your dome and have BODE."


Hmmm... let me mull this over and I will get back to you.

[Mr T]

And obviously you do, bececause you read my reply on what I would rather see and replied to it.

The T1B Tard Handbook needs updating I see. Or maybe... this kind of circular logic falls under "You smacked me so I am in your dome and have BODE."


Hmmm... let me mull this over and I will get back to you.

If you truly didnt give a shit, you wouldnt reply.

That is my logic.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I said I'd get back to... please be patient.

[Mr T]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but nobody really gives a fuck what you would rather see.

Tuff asked a question to me and I replied. So he must give a fuck on what I would rather see.

Oh really? It was pretty clear to me that his question was rhetorical, but no need to speculate. Why don't we ask him?

Mr. Gong,

Do you give a __________ about what Mr. T wants to see?

A. Shit
B. Fuck
C. Flying Fuck
D. Rat's Ass

Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

MV

Not only are you giving a shit about me but now you are giving a shit on what tuff thinks. Thats nice of you.

[Goober McTuber]

It's kind of nice to be the 2nd "least-abled" on this site.

Thanks, douchefag.

-QmcW

P.S. Hawking doesn't count. Dude is like all smart and shit.

You should probably check out Cuda's posting history. I think you’ll feel even better about yourself.

[Terry in Crapchester]

I xuppose I should rack mvscal for manning up.

[ElvisMonster]

Yo, D_Bag. If you need a place to fucking hole up while you get shit BACK on fucking TRACK you can totally crash at my place on the couch. My fucking apartment complex is TOTALLY gated. NOBODY gets in OR out without a passcard...or unless they call somebody that lives in one of the other apartments...but whatever. The Casa de EM is totally fucking SECURE. The bad news is that my XBox 360 is FUCKED right now. But I've got Madden on Wii, so we're cool. Get me the fucking word and I'll go pick up and extra fucking 12 pack of MOTHER FUCKING 211!

[Douchebag]

Sup, brah. i might need to take you up on that dawg. my funds are completely drained, my office is smashed up, i can't pay the bills here now, and my fucking visa platinum is maxed out and they won't raise my limit past $500. THEN all my fucking donaters cut me off because they were afraid O'Cyrus would eventually track THEM down too.

i still haven't heard from that freckle faced fuck O'Cyrus and his band of butt-hungry mexicans, and i have no idea where to fucking find stevo and rollins. To top it off my boy Dice is DEAD and A-Bomb has gone into hiding from O'Cyrus. my celly has been silent for DAYS yo. FUCK, man. things aren't fucking good. where you at? i can raise a few bucks and hitch a greyhound to yoru place. pm me the deets (details).

btw, you aren't rooming with any mexicans or anything right? i've got a PS2 and some pretty sweet games like God of War and the Final Fantasy series.

peace, bro

[War Wagon]

...my fucking visa platinum is maxed out and they won't raise my limit past $500.

Bastards.

War the consistency though, D.

When trolling, it's crucial that you stay consistent.

[ElvisMonster]

PM sent! It's a one bedroom place and I'm not fucking Mexican (lol). I've got the brews stocked and the FUCKING BITCHES on your tour have NO idea where I am. When you get to the gate...nevermind. I'll totally PM it. Bottom line: me and a select few fucking OLD SCHOOL mother fuckers back your agenda and are willing to gamble on your success. You go down, we go down with you. :fistpump: OoT!

[Tiny]

No, you couldn't see that one coming back in March, when this shit troll started the whole "tour" BS in the first place...

[Mister Bushice]

Somebody has too much time on their hands.

at 464 views of only 28 posts, I'd say somebody has a lot of company.

[PSUFAN]

EM can host a brutal .wav in the storage banks of his forehead. Douchebag's kinda fucked.

[Douchebag]

PM sent! It's a one bedroom place and I'm not fucking Mexican (lol). I've got the brews stocked and the FUCKING BITCHES on your tour have NO idea where I am. When you get to the gate...nevermind. I'll totally PM it. Bottom line: me and a select few fucking OLD SCHOOL mother fuckers back your agenda and are willing to gamble on your success. You go down, we go down with you. :fistpump: OoT!

sweet, thanks brah! i have to sell a bunch of shit for some extra cayshe but i plan on arriving at your crib no later than Sunday. i just need a place to lay low for awhile so o'cyrus can't find me. he still hasn't contacted me with his demands. i just hope my boyz stevo and rollins are okay. i'm worried. they would've hit up my celly by now if things were straight. FUCK

how are you at pullin the bitches? my game is pretty air tight, but not quite as good as Slim's was.

these are the kind of bitches i can pull


these whores stay out your way, so i'll debinitely have to hit em up when i get to your crib. i'm bringin my PS2 a bunch of games, and a shitload of DVDs so i figure we can watch some movies and shit when you get home from work.

peace bro

[Jay in Phoenix]

sweet, thanks brah! i have to sell a bunch of shit for some extra cayshe but i plan on arriving at your crib no later than Sunday. i just need a place to lay low for awhile so o'cyrus can't find me. he still hasn't contacted me with his demands. i just hope my boyz stevo and rollins are okay. i'm worried. they would've hit up my celly by now if things were straight. FUCK

ONE thing you know damn well by now Douchenozzle, is that there is NOTHING straight about you. So stop wringing your limp-wristed hands over that issue. O'Cyrus and the Mexican mafia have already fed Stevo and Rollins' intestines to Rumpleforskin's wife. She's rutting about in their corpses as we speak, smearing their feces over the twin jello-moons of her massive chest.

i'm bringin my PS2 a bunch of games, and a shitload of DVDs so i figure we can watch some movies and shit when you get home from work.

peace bro

Yeah, that's the stuff Douchefag. Get nice and softened up on video games and He-Man DVDs. Little do you realize that EM is going to be filtering a hypno.wav through his dome, directly into the video inputs on his Entertainment Console of Doom. YOU'll be a drooling, putty-brained puppet half-way through the first episode.

You really don't want to know what EM has in store for your fat, bleeding ass after that.

Sucker.

[indyfrisco]

You really don't want to know what EM has in store for your fat, bleeding ass after that.

Sucker.

EM will break out the knife weilded dildo contraption used in the movie Seven. Douchefag will beg for the Mexicans.

[Douchebag]

FUCK all of you stupid ass fucks

just FUCK YOU! ok? FUCK YOU. the level of respect i'm receiving right now is at an ALL TIME low. and i don't fucking LIKE IT godDAMMIT!

me and elvismonster are going to have a GOOD fucking time and we're going to be fucking DOGS and hang out, drink beers, play video games and NAIL skanks. any of you homos got a problem with that?

don't JUDGE me. don't fucking judge ME or Elvismonster.

the tour will be underway. it's GOING to happen you ugly fucking losers.

[Douchebag]

hey man -- i hated on you in the past, i know. but i respect your opinions.

do you have a few bucks i can borrow? i'm totally good for it some time down the road.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Not only that, but you have to swear off bright polos, puka shells and aviators for the rest of your miserable fat life.

You also have to lift up the tip of your nose and sing,
"I'm a little piggie, oink-oink-oink, oink-oink-oink." while wearing Scott Tenerman's pubes on your chin.

THEN mvscal will think about it.

[ElvisMonster]

Epic news. Picked up some baby backs to slap into the crock pot and bought a second Wii nunchuck. Also cleaned some of my shit off of the computer desk so you can maybe handle some business while I'm at work spinning the platters that matter.

I'm not exactly WAR with the ladies all the time, so I totally snuck a couple of station t-shirts out of the prize closet and threw them into the back of my fucking EPIC Hyundai Accent while the receptionist was in the bathroom. Those should be good for seeing at least a few pairs of FAT tits at karaoke night.

By the way, the apartment is only one bedroom so it'll be a tight fit, but since it's small and on the second floor, it's EASILY fucking defendable against Mexicans and dipshits from, I don't know, maybe KANSAS CITY that are too fat to climb up on the balcony.

Looking forward to it, man.

P.S. Scored a couple of certificates good for FREE catfish dinners at Catfish fucking Plus. New location only. WAR. OoT.

[War Wagon]

...it's EASILY fucking defendable against Mexicans and dipshits from, I don't know, maybe KANSAS CITY that are too fat to climb up on the balcony.

Not to mention fat, dumb, Mexican dipshits from KC. We've got plenty of them too. I wonder how many fat mexicans can fit in an F-150 supercab for a 600 mile roadie?

Good luck holding down the fort, EM. I suggest you barren down the hatches... maybe PM a certain Prime X for help in this matter. I heard he's available.

[Ken]

I suggest you barren down the hatches...

Oh great. You could have just sent dins an invite to the thread by PM rather than brandishing your 'command' of the english language for the rest here.

[Dinsdale]

PSSSST!!!

A couple of things, Kenny Longhitter...

First, you're more associated with spelling/grammarsmack than I am.

Second, "barren down the hatches" is T1B Lexicon humor.

[War Wagon]

You could have just sent dins an invite to the thread...

As if Dins needs an invite.

If you don't get insulted by Dins on a daily basis, you ain't shit.

Tell me you knew.

[Goober McTuber]

me and elvismonster are going to have a GOOD fucking time and we're going to be fucking DOGS

Hey Cuda, better lock up your poodle.

[PSUFAN]

Now that ElvisTrainer has joined the Crew, I have a renewed interest in presenting their ruined corpses to their Maker. Although...will they survive long enough to sally forth and Tour? I'm guessing that might prove difficult, what with Osiris scanning the boards and bathhouses, hungry for their demise.

As for me, Douchebag, you can step to me and my city AGAIN, if you'd like. This time, there will be no fucking mercy - NONE. You and EpicanthicMonster will DIE here in Pittsburgh.

This time, look for me at PNC Park, just to keep things fresh. I'll steal some kid's balloon, inhale the helium, and after a furious disabling assault, I'll blow that shit into EM's fucking EARhole, under the assumption that it won't take much to get that massive dome airbourne.

Imagine the glorious scene of indignity that will unfold as EM slowly rises into the air, above all the stupefied Pirate Fans, and goes aloft whither the wind will take him. He'll kinda look like this

except flipped over, and not skinny, and not an ant. I think the Pirates will all jump up and try to hit him with balls and bats, but they'll surely miss, so I'll step forward with my vicious sling and wreck him with a riverrock.

Then I'll turn to you, Douchebag, and end this thing. I'm not going to tell you how you're going down. That was my only mistake, before, I was too specific about that. Just know that it will be Painful and Humiliating, and there will be redemptive elements thrown in, in honor of those good fools you've duped along the way. I'll probably be removing the fat from your corpse and dragging it down to the river and tacking it up to cure in the sun, that much I can tell you.