Comedy in landscaping

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 5:43 am

Y2K wrote:No Comedy in Landscaping thread could be complete without "an oxidized trombone."

Not to worry. If your trombone gets oxidized Cudes will be more than happy to buff it out for you.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 1:06 pm

CTRL-Corrosion_Free ships with a spit valve - as fluids drain, randomly generated message board resets are emitted.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Jun 20, 2007 6:01 pm

PSUFAN wrote:With you around, what's the point? You'll have it scrubbed clean in a jiffy

Looks like you've taken a training class in "I'm rubber, you're glue..." smack. Good for you.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:08 am

AP, interlocking pavers isn't masonry. Tell me you knew.

Y2K wrote:I take it Rootbeer thinks I give a shit about his silly fasination with Interlock paving and am ready to play his stupid game.

You cared enough to post respond to my initial post. So when did you stop giving a shit? When I showed the gross depth and bredth of your ignorance? Yup I think that was exactly when you turned tail and started firing chaff and flares out your ass.

Licensed, Bonded, Insured, Guaranteed

Licensed by Carl at Home Depot
Bonded your head to your ass
Insured (liability only)
Guaranteed to fukk up a paver job. Even with some mexicans showing you how.

Here I'll fill you in so you can be smarter than Home Depot Carl in one area.
Your order of events are:
Excavation and Grade: Base overrun is equal to base depth.
Compact native soil.
Geotextile fabric
Base: State-approved road base. Depth: 4-6" for residential walkways, 6-8" for residential driveways, 10-12" for commercial walkways.
Compaction: Compact base with plate compactor or vibratory roller compactor every time you add 4" of base material. Add road base as needed to create base matching desired grade with no more than 3/8" variance.
Edging: Lay paver retention material: Concrete curbing, wood (not recommended), plastic edging, etc.
Screed 1" of bedding sand (masonry sand not recommended) into paver area.
Lay segmental pavers
Cut pavers no smaller than 1/3 original size
Compact pavers 3 times. First around the perimeter and in concentric laps to the interior. Compact again laterally back and forth moving from the bottom up. Compact again at a 45 degree angle to lateral compaction. Overlap compaction track 50% each pass.
Sweep in joint sand and compact at least 3 times.
If using polymetric sand make sure no sand is on top of pavers before moistening

If you're in a sandy soil environment there's a different way to create a solid base without road base but I'm sure you already know that what with your misguided, inaccurate, anecdotal mouthful of bullshit.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:28 am

Rootbeer wrote:AP, interlocking pavers isn't masonry. Tell me you knew.

PSSST!!!!

Might wanna look up the definition of "masonry."

Just sayin'.

Any standardized piece made from stone, clay, or cementuous materials are referred to as Masonry Units.

Pavers fall into this category.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:13 am

Mason: One who works with stones or bricks usually with the use of mortar or cement as a bonding agent.
Masonry: The building of structures from individual units laid in and bound together by mortar.

mmkay, Dictionary Piranha

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:51 am

Rootbeer wrote:Masonry: The building of structures from individual units laid in and bound together by mortar.

You might wanna find a dictionary that's actually correct.

There's plenty of construction done with CMUs(that's a Concrete Masonry Unit) that doesn't involve mortar. "Friction joints," or whatever the heck they call them. And gabions, or whatever they call those retaining things, are classified as masonry, and use no mortar.

Let this one go, Roots. You're flailing. And all the Google in the world isn't going to help. I know some of the shit you posted is inaccurate, stemming from "I read it on the internet, it must be true," and Y2Klown has forgotten more about masonry than I know. Add to that the fact that construction terms differ from region to region, and...well.

There you go.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:04 am

There's plenty of construction done with CMUs(that's a Concrete Masonry Unit) that doesn't involve mortar. "Friction joints

Not to mention Post Tension. They even have some cool Post Tension PAVING Units, but that's not Masonry and it's complete nonsense you have need for a C-29 License issued here by the CLB to do it.

Rooty needs to concentrate his Internet studies on how to construct working Emergency Exits for the next time he comes away looking like a total dumbshit in his own threads.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:12 am

Yes, well, of course, this is just the sort blinkered philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss about the struggling artist.

You excrement! You lousy hypocritical whining toadies with your lousy colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn't become a freemason now if you went down on your lousy, stinking, purulent knees and begged me.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 6:29 am

You do realize if I taught you the secret handshake you may be forced into teaching the importance of Grade and Slope techniques in Interlocking Paving to numerous Mexicans for years to come or quite possibly until death. There's no leaving once you're in the family...............

The Whistle Is Screaming · Thu Jun 21, 2007 2:08 pm

pron wrote:

^That's what I would call "Comedy in Landscaping."

As for the rest of the thread, not much with the comedy, it has more of a "Smack in Landascaping" feel.

Please continue ...

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 4:27 pm

Rootbeer wrote:AP, interlocking pavers isn't masonry. Tell me you knew.

masonry

noun
1. structure built of stone or brick by a mason

Okay Rootie. Someone at Home Depot must have clowned you with a Basalite brochure.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:40 pm

Rootbeer wrote:Mason: One who works with stones or bricks usually with the use of mortar or cement as a bonding agent.
Masonry: The building of structures from individual units laid in and bound together by mortar.

mmkay, Dictionary Piranha

You're both wrong. Masons are members of a secret brotherhood- originally the Knights Templar who looted the Holy Grail & a whole shit-load of dimes during the Crusades & buried it somewheres in Phildelphia, or maybe Scotland or Warshington DC or possibly France.

I'm not sure if you can be one, Rooty; the History Channel didn't mention whether or not they allowed Mormons to join.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 3:38 am

If Y2K is a mason and masonry includes segmental paver installation then why doesn't he know how to install them? Look out, Special K, your ignorance is showing.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 3:58 am

Y2K wrote: Not to mention Post Tension.

Hey!

Post tension slab edge concrete forming?

I know of these things. I've set-up bills of materials and labor routings on those pains in the ass.

Does it actually work?

Judging by the volume we've sold, I'd say it must not be worth the investment for contractors.

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Fri Jun 22, 2007 6:35 am

War Wagon wrote:
Y2K wrote: Not to mention Post Tension.
Hey!

Post tension slab edge concrete forming?

I know of these things. I've set-up bills of materials and labor routings on those pains in the ass.

Does it actually work?

Judging by the volume we've sold, I'd say it must not be worth the investment for contractors.

They have similarites. Post Tension is highly specialized and definately costs more per foot. We can used bored Masonry units that we can string braided steel cable or high strength steel rods though, we bolt each end through special metal plating designed for a specific product and use a monster nut driver to cinch each side up to a certain PSI rating. They have interlock Block walls and Paving than you can actually repair by unscrewing a whole plated section, fixing the damage and racheting the whole deal back down again with new compression nuts. Concrete is somewhat the same deal with them running post tension through multiple slabs near the edges ect. Very common when building large Span Bridges and a lot of highway work. Very specialized and costly.

Cool shit actually

For the typical Construction Geek that is......