Hope you're all having a good summer.....

[Terry in Crapchester]

Mace,

There's a real simple solution here.

Simply run the worse players off the team. Make the team do 80 pushups a day in practice. If a kid makes an error in a game, make him run sprints until he drops in the next practice.

Your team will turn it around in no time. Just treat them like they're major leaguers, not little kids who should be having fun. Fun is overrated anyway.

Regards,

Schmick

[PSUFAN]

Mace,

your Hawkeyes will be dry-fucked this year by a team that is a physical menace.

:brad:

[BSmack]

Make the team do 80 pushups a day in practice. If a kid makes an error in a game, make him run sprints until he drops in the next practice.

Sounds like High School football.

[Mister Bushice]

Mace,

There's a real simple solution here.

Simply run the worse players off the team. Make the team do 80 pushups a day in practice. If a kid makes an error in a game, make him run sprints until he drops in the next practice.

Your team will turn it around in no time. Just treat them like they're major leaguers, not little kids who should be having fun. Fun is overrated anyway.

Regards,

Schmick

LOL! Yeah, I didn't think of that. Pushups and running sprints after every error would at least get us the "high school team in the best shape" award by seasons end.

In all honesty, it isn't that bad. The kids bust their asses and work extremely hard to get better. That's all I can ask. Problem is, we just don't have a lot of great athletes on the team. They're great kids, and I love them all, BUT baseball players they are not. Unlike Schmick, I realize that, even at the high school level, it ain't all about winning. These kids are learning how to be a class act (even in defeat), learning the fundies of the game, and are developing a work ethic that will hopefully remain with them for a lifetime. In the long haul of life, practicing sportsmanship and a good work ethic will make them better men than going undefeated and being a bunch of classless jerks.

Mace

Someone should print this out and slap glue it to So cal trojans clipboard. and to the back of all the kids uniforms, and in the dugout, and on his bathroom mirror.

[Mike the Lab Rat]

Hmmmm...let's see...

In the last couple of weeks:

- I was named "Teacher of the Year" by our local PTSA,
- the graduating seniors dedicated their yearbook to me,
- the elective I created (Infectious Diseases) got approved for renewal due to its popularity,
- I completed my 5th year at my district, which means that the feds are eating the remaining $4K of my Stafford Loans,
- I used my class advisor money to snag a brand new MacBook and Age of Empires 3 to try it out (gave Mrs. LabRat the free iPod nano),
- and now I'm on vacation for a couple of months.

The 2006-07 year started damned stressful, what with our new superintendent canning folks left and right (including the chemistry teacher, who is a friend of mine), a sinus infection that fought various antibiotics for 3 months and has left me with occasional "acephalgic" migraines (head doesn't hurt but my eyesight gets distorted and sparkly), my dad-in-law being diagnosed with Parkinson's, and two bouts with an intestinal bug that swept through my workplace and my son's school. Thankfully, things got better - a whole lot better- as spring arrived.

Nice to see that folks on the board are still up to the usual crap.

Lookin' forward to catching up on threads and maybe jumping in here and there.

[OCmike]

- the elective I created (Infectious Diseases) got approved for renewal due to its popularity,

Mike, congrats on the accolades. Just a thought though... Have you considered having Mike Backer come in as a guest speaker for your Infectious Diseases class?

[Derron]

Yeah baseball can really suck sometimes...

but not this year if your an Oregon State Alum and fan....

Threepeat in 08.

[Wolfman]

hey Mike--congrats--I think--
although you should have settled for nothing
less than Teacher of the Decade---
but I guess they're still trying to figure out
what to call the current decade ??
Wouldn't it be grand if that TofTYr. came with say
an extra grand in the Lab Rat salary !

[Mike the Lab Rat]

Thanks for the congrats, Mike, Sam & James - the award comes with a parking space (but, alas, no $$$, James...). I've only been at this for 5 years and it's been a blast so far.

The kids were awesome and I'm REALLY going to miss my seniors. I advised and mentored them for the last four years and feel an almost paternal pride in how well they turned out. My wife helped me chaperone their prom and said she was struck at how attached the kids and I were to each other. Their parents have every reason to be damned proud of that group of young men and women.

On a twisted note:

I have an ongoing feud with our physics/earth science teacher, who has been working to have my AP bio class and infectious diseases elective dropped. The former competes with his physics class for the "A-list" seniors (they cancelled physics this year due to lack of interest) and the latter he describes as a "pointless non-rigorous course."

We sparred verbally, in front of colleagues (and some students) when he made a public point of stating that "the number one reason students fail out of or drop out of pre-med is not taking physics in high school." I asked him to cite his sources, and he responded with "well...it's a well-known fact" and tossed in some anecdotal crap about his daughter, who is in a PT program. He followed up this crap with the delightful "well Mike, if you actually worked in academia you'd know this." He used to be an adjunct physics professor. Yep, I reminded him what I used to do for a living (including my scoreboard of two co-authored papers versus his zero) and how two of my current drinking buds are doctors who would be more than happy to refute his points. After this encounter, he decided to avoid confronting me and instead tried lobbying students directly to drop my courses (didn't work) and tried badgering the superintendent to require "honor" students to take physics to graduate (also didn't work). He even went to the local supermarket where one of my AP students worked and badgered her to the point of tears, telling her that she was going to surely fail out of college next year because she had foolishly chosen to not to take physics. Her dad went hunting for the guy and followed up with a complaint to the principal and superintendent.

His latest idiocy was to tell the superintendent that my two ToY awards were obvious evidence of my "pandering to the lowest element." (she let me know what he said) This from a guy who craps on his students Monday through Thursday and then gives 'em doughnuts on Friday. Between his behavior, dropping enrollments (his classes are not required courses, btw), and obscene salary (he makes over twice what I do), if it weren't for tenure & seniority, I'm sure the BoE would have dropped kicked his ass this year. The guy set out to torpedo me and instead wound up on the radar of the bosses. What an asshat.

With all the drama this year, I'm looking forward to Scotch, hangin' in the pool, enjoying my wife's slimmer bod, playing with my kids, playing Age of Empires, and dropping some posts in this cyber-playground once in a while.

[Wolfman]

Mike--- one of the greatest "perks" (of course $$ would be nice) is meeting your former students later on--and they are happy to see you and talk about how you influenced their career decisions--- most cool !!
ps--
sounds like you are working in a school district like the Cortland
City School District was in the 70's and 80's-- mostly kids who really want to learn !! Enjoy it.

[smackaholic]

Sounds like that physics teacher is an aasshat, indeed.

That being said, physics is one of the basics. Everyone should take it. Infectious diseases seems to me, a bit too specialized for a highschool kid.

Rack you anyway, you fukkin' part time workin' dickhead.

My neighbor across the street is my kid's music teacher. I will make certain, each day this summer to play him a little wake up tune on the FJ's supertrapp horn at 0530 sharp. Fukk, why didn't I become a teacher?

[smackaholic]

Mace,

There's a real simple solution here.

Simply run the worse players off the team. Make the team do 80 pushups a day in practice. If a kid makes an error in a game, make him run sprints until he drops in the next practice.

Your team will turn it around in no time. Just treat them like they're major leaguers, not little kids who should be having fun. Fun is overrated anyway.

Regards,

Schmick

\

You forgot the car antenna beatings. Simply dropping from exhaustion will not provide sufficient motivation unless it is accompanied by a few lashes across the back.

[Mike the Lab Rat]

My ID course covered basic microbiological techniques (simple morphological staining, Gram staining, endospore staining, culturing bacteria) and then I sent the kids on a "microbial safari" all over the school to collect, culture, and identify specimens. We did basic virology, including growing some E. coli in culture just to spread bacteriophage (viruses that attack bacteria) on them.

Then I went over various infectious diseases in history and their impact on human society. For example, we did quite a bit on the Black Death - historical readings, a "Secrets of the Dead" video, impact on Western culture. We went over smallpox, malaria, etc. and how the interaction of different human cultures and their normal flora played roles in the conquest of Africa and the New World (played clips from "Guns, Germs, and Steel" DVD and some readings). The history of epidemiology, especially with John Snow's work on the London cholera outbreak was fun (describing the "ricewater stools" and the aromas of mid-19th century London was cool). We spent several days on the Spanish Influenza, which scared the crap out of the kids (we did readings from the time and papers on the virus that came out recently) and then watched the "American Experience" video on the topic. It had interviews with the survivors of the influenza, who gave heartbreaking accounts of family members dying. I had to stop the video at one point so that kids could compose themselves. I felt it important that the kids stop thinking of disease victims as just numbers, and that video pretty much nailed it for me.

We did a week on AIDS - watched "And The Band Played On," went over the discovery of HIV, the origins of the virus, strategies on treatments and vaccines (found a great PBS video on three promising but ultimately doomed vacine efforts), and even discussed the HIV-deniers like Peter Duesberg. We went over some emerging and re-emerging infectious diseases and used the epidemiological methods discussed earlier in the semester to come up with plans to limit the spread of specific diseases.

By the end of the semester, the kids had decided that they would never touch a frigging monkey and that they would never go to either central Africa or a South American jungle.

The final project was a self-directed presentation on any infectious disease not covered in class. They had to present a Powerpoint/multimedia informational piece. All of the kids chose venereal diseases. I'm not sure what to make of that. I gave each of the kids a plush microbe from "Giantmicrobes.com" at the end of the semester.

The course had kids of all abilities in it - from the AP-level honors kids to the IEP-requiring kids to the ESL kids. They all dug it. So did I (the kids are what made it fun).

[Wolfman]

All of the kids chose venereal diseases. I'm not sure what to make of that.
looks like you got them thinking !!!
that's what it is all about--- I did stuff like that when I taught
senior high health in summer school for the last 25 years of my career.
You are on the right track my friend---keep it going and do not
get discouraged---at least until you are ready to pack it in !

[Terry in Crapchester]

Congrats, Mike. Oh, and btw . . .

I completed my 5th year at my district, which means that the feds are eating the remaining $4K of my Stafford Loans,

If there's no dollar limit on that particular dealio, perhaps I should consider a career change.

[Mike the Lab Rat]

Congrats, Mike. Oh, and btw . . .

I completed my 5th year at my district, which means that the feds are eating the remaining $4K of my Stafford Loans,

If there's no dollar limit on that particular dealio, perhaps I should consider a career change.

Basically:

- if you're a "highly qualified" teacher (as defined by NCLB) who has taught at a federally-designated school in need for 5 years: up to $5K forgiven

- if you're a highly qualified math or science teacher under the above criteria: up to $17.5K forgiven

It's not the reason I chose to teach in my district - heck I didn't even find out about the deal until the federal loan folks sent me the info two years ago- but it sure as heck doesn't suck. I mentioned the deal to my bosses an recommended that they give the info to new teacher candidates as an incentive to come to our district.

[Mike the Lab Rat]

Mace - congrats on the award!

I was a little surprised and disgusted when our Athletic Director ORDERED me to attend on a day when we had a home game and knowing that I needed to be on the field to get it ready for that night's game.

I've learned that when a boss orders you to attend an awards ceremony (esp. if they've never done so before), it means that you're getting recognized.

Anyway, in the days following the faculty banquet, I received a half dozen cards from some of the real teachers in attendance at the banquet who had sons that played for me back in the 80's. They congratulated me on the award and thanked me for "doing the same things for the boys now that I had done for their boys" so many years ago. Any doubts that I might ever have had about why I'm burning the candle at both ends and putting in 18-20 hours a day working my real job and coaching baseball were dispelled after reading those cards.

Yep. Know how you feel. Keep those cards and the award handy the next time the gig seems like a real grind - they'll remind you why the effort is well worth it.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Yep. Know how you feel. Keep those cards and the award handy the next time the gig seems like a real grind - they'll remind you why the effort is well worth it.

Well put.

I recently was assigned to represent a terminally ill woman who had committed the unforgiveable offense of driving while her driver's license was suspended. In light of her illness and the relatively minor transgression, I had suggested a motion to dismiss in furtherance of justice, but she did not want to divulge her medical records, which would have been necessary, to the Court. So I wound up working out a plea to a lesser offense. Anyway, she later sent me a card thanking me for the hard work I had done on her case (on a few occasions, she wound up in the hospital on short notice and missed court. I was able to talk the judge out of a few bench warrants even without knowing the whole story.) She didn't have to do it, of course, and I certainly didn't expect it, but I thought it was a nice gesture anyway.

Congrats, Mace, btw.

[Goober McTuber]

Congratulations to MtLR on Teacher of the Year.

Congratulations to Mace on Coach of the Year.

Congratulations to TiC on Shitbag Lawyer of the Week.

[Moving Sale]

I recently was hired to represent a pedophile who had attempted to molest a 28yo officer playing a 14yo on the Net. Dude did his time and was paroled to the State Hospital. I proved he did not met criterion for parole to the Hospital and he is now out of said Hospital and serving his parole like most people do. Anyway, he later sent me a card thanking me for the hard work I had done on his case. He didn't have to do it, of course, and I certainly didn't expect it, but I thought it was a nice gesture anyway.

[DiT]

other than getting high and drunk alot I haven't done much.
WAR me!

[BSmack]

I recently was hired to represent a pedophile who had attempted to molest a 28yo officer playing a 14yo on the Net. Dude did his time and was paroled to the State Hospital. I proved he did not met criterion for parole to the Hospital and he is now out of said Hospital and serving his parole like most people do. Anyway, he later sent me a card thanking me for the hard work I had done on his case. He didn't have to do it, of course, and I certainly didn't expect it, but I thought it was a nice gesture anyway.

Will you send a card to the next kid he molests?

[Moving Sale]

I recently was hired to represent a pedophile who had attempted to molest a 28yo officer playing a 14yo on the Net. Dude did his time and was paroled to the State Hospital. I proved he did not met criterion for parole to the Hospital and he is now out of said Hospital and serving his parole like most people do. Anyway, he later sent me a card thanking me for the hard work I had done on his case. He didn't have to do it, of course, and I certainly didn't expect it, but I thought it was a nice gesture anyway.

Will you send a card to the next kid he molests?

The next kid he molests will be his first.

[BSmack]

I recently was hired to represent a pedophile who had attempted to molest a 28yo officer playing a 14yo on the Net. Dude did his time and was paroled to the State Hospital. I proved he did not met criterion for parole to the Hospital and he is now out of said Hospital and serving his parole like most people do. Anyway, he later sent me a card thanking me for the hard work I had done on his case. He didn't have to do it, of course, and I certainly didn't expect it, but I thought it was a nice gesture anyway.

Will you send a card to the next kid he molests?

The next kid he molests will be his first.

I'm sure he was just going to meet the kid to tell him/her about the dangers of meeting strangers on the Interwebs. Perhaps he was even going to give a demonstration?

[Moving Sale]

Perhaps he was even going to give a demonstration?

Perhaps. The fact remains that not one Dr testified that he had ever molested a child. Which was my point to you.

[BSmack]

Perhaps he was even going to give a demonstration?

Perhaps. The fact remains that not one Dr testified that he had ever molested a child. Which was my point to you.

Not one Dr.?

Please do elaborate. How does is a doctor supposed to know if this guy was or was not diddling little kids?

[Goober McTuber]

This was a feel-good thread about a couple of old school posters (Mace and MtLR) being recognized by their peers for their accomplishments. They didn’t seem to be bragging, it just came out in the course of the thread.

Then one of the shitbag lawyers felt left out and shared a story about helping a little old lady across the street, or over the fence, or whatever the fuck he did. He got a thank you note.

Then another shitbag lawyer felt left out and unrecognized, and shared a heart-warming story about how he helped a Tardowen in his area and got a thank you note.

Now how many of the rest of you out there have done something nice that really helped out another person? That’s right, pretty much all of you. Except for mvscal. And how many of you found it necessary to pound your chests and tell others what you did? No wonder people have the opinions they do about attorneys.

[PSUFAN]

You don't understand, Goobs:

I recently was hired

That there is noteworthy, and probably lays the groundwork for some pretty gripping tragedy.

[Dinsdale]

Please do elaborate. How does is a doctor supposed to know if this guy was or was not diddling little kids?

Yeah, we should probably throw everyone in jail, just in case they might have molested a child.

I suggest they start with you.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Then another shitbag lawyer felt left out and unrecognized, and shared a heart-warming story about how he helped a Tardowen in his area and got a thank you note.

The other shitbag lawyer just control-Cuda'd Terry's shitty post and changed some of the words in a shitassed troll attempt. Of course, B-Smacked and his 20+ shit posts/day took the bait and is now "fisting" the dwarf in the shitter.

[PSUFAN]

How does is a doctor supposed to know if this guy was or was not diddling little kids?

CNY colloquialism? I'm not from CNY, so I guess I don't understand.

How can I understand? Should I ask my server? How will that server communicate my question and his answer?

Who's keeping track of what OJ ordered? Will I understand, even if I'm not a murderer?

I'm just not following you here.

[BSmack]

Please do elaborate. How does is a doctor supposed to know if this guy was or was not diddling little kids?

Yeah, we should probably throw everyone in jail, just in case they might have molested a child.

If by "everybody" you mean everybody who has attempted to have sex with cops posing as kids, then I'll agree.

[Mike the Lab Rat]

fisting the dwarf in the shitter.

Wasn't this the title of a Metallica album?

Or was it W.A.S.P?

Maybe Jethro Tull.

[Goober McTuber]

Then another shitbag lawyer felt left out and unrecognized, and shared a heart-warming story about how he helped a Tardowen in his area and got a thank you note.

The other shitbag lawyer just control-Cuda'd Terry's shitty post and changed some of the words in a shitassed troll attempt. Of course, B-Smacked and his 20+ shit posts/day took the bait and is now "fisting" the dwarf in the shitter.

Yes, I recognized that, but it still held the possibility of attracting other fish.

[PSUFAN]

Stryper referred to it as something we should avoid.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

fisting the dwarf in the shitter.

Wasn't this the title of a Metallica album?

Moreese's Greatest Hits, actually.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Then one of the shitbag lawyers felt left out and shared a story about helping a little old lady across the street, or over the fence, or whatever the fuck he did. He got a thank you note.

Hardly, you cretin. I merely was responding to the Lab Rat's comment, which was:

Yep. Know how you feel. Keep those cards and the award handy the next time the gig seems like a real grind - they'll remind you why the effort is well worth it.

I merely added a personal anecdote to illustrate that, is all.

Now how many of the rest of you out there have done something nice that really helped out another person? That’s right, pretty much all of you. Except for mvscal.

Don't be so modest. You're right in there with mvscal, if your board persona is any indication of how truly despicable a person you are.

[BSmack]

fisting the dwarf in the shitter.

Wasn't this the title of a Metallica album?

Moreese's Greatest Hits, actually.

I think Dinsadale covered that as well.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Damn.

[Dinsdale]

"I know you are, and so is he."