Joke

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 1:59 pm

Two hats were sitting on a hat-rack. One said to the other, "you stay here, I'll go on a head."

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:04 pm

TROTS will be growing green soon.

rozy · Post by **rozy** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:09 pm

PSUFAN wrote:TROTS will be growing green soon.

Why? In the midst of all the Annie-destroyed threads, this is almost a breath of fresh air.

Headhunter · Post by **Headhunter** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:22 pm

I chuckled.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:37 pm

Didja hear about the 160-lb man who had 80-lb testicles?

They said he was half nuts.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Thu Jul 26, 2007 2:38 pm

rozy wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:TROTS will be growing green soon.
Why? In the midst of all the Annie-destroyed threads, this is almost a breath of fresh air.

No need to jump out of your pew there, thumpy. The thread wasn't moved. We need to reserve TROTS for...well, whatever whim floats your fancy.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Fri Jul 27, 2007 4:34 am

A trout was swimming happily through some spawning beds when he saw a beautiful white fish. He tried to talk her into spawning with him but she flipped her tail and swam away. He caught up to her and tried again. She ignored him. He slowly sidled up to her and said "C'mon now, baby. Don't be Koi."

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Fri Jul 27, 2007 1:46 pm

How come oysters don't give to charity?

Because they are shellfish.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:42 am

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

bbqjones · Post by **bbqjones** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 2:45 am

why did the avon lady walk funny?

her lips stick

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jul 29, 2007 6:21 am

Two priests are standing at a urinal. The first one looks down and sees a Nicoderm patch on the other one's dick.
He says, "You're supposed to put that patch on your shoulder, not on your penis."
The second one says, "Well, it's working. I'm down to two butts a day."

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:02 pm

Three winos awaken on a mattress that had been discarded next to a dumpster. The wino on the right says, "Man, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that someone was jaggin' me off!" The wino on the left replied, "What a coincidence - I too dreamt that someone was poundin' my pud." Wino in the middle said, "That is a coincidence. I didn't have that dream, though. I dreamt that I was skiing."

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:05 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:Three winos awaken on a mattress that had been discarded next to a dumpster. The wino on the right says, "Man, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that someone was jaggin' me off!" The wino on the left replied, "What a coincidence - I too dreamt that someone was poundin' my pud." Wino in the middle said, "That is a coincidence. I didn't have that dream, though. I dreamt that I was skiing."

threadkiller

.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:06 pm

Sirfindafold wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:Three winos awaken on a mattress that had been discarded next to a dumpster. The wino on the right says, "Man, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that someone was jaggin' me off!" The wino on the left replied, "What a coincidence - I too dreamt that someone was poundin' my pud." Wino in the middle said, "That is a coincidence. I didn't have that dream, though. I dreamt that I was skiing."

threadkiller.

Hard to kill something that's already dead.

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:22 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:Three winos awaken on a mattress that had been discarded next to a dumpster. The wino on the right says, "Man, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that someone was jaggin' me off!" The wino on the left replied, "What a coincidence - I too dreamt that someone was poundin' my pud." Wino in the middle said, "That is a coincidence. I didn't have that dream, though. I dreamt that I was skiing."

I don't get it.

Luther · Post by **Luther** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:29 pm

Risa, that should be under your nickname. Picture a person skiing, and the motion involved in holding the ski poles. And I don't ski but I have bopped bologna, carved soap, pulled pud, spanked the monkey, cuffed the culprit, and or yakked my yeat.

Can we get a mod or admin to put "Just don't get it" under Risa's name, please?

TIA

Rip City

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:36 pm

Luther wrote:I have bopped bologna, carved soap, pulled pud, spanked the monkey, cuffed the culprit, and or yakked my yeat.

Carved soap?!? How 'bout waxed the dolphin?

Adelpiero · Post by **Adelpiero** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 10:42 pm

whats m2ools favorite pickup line at the gay bars?

can i push in your stool?

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Jul 30, 2007 11:43 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
Luther wrote:I have bopped bologna, carved soap, pulled pud, spanked the monkey, cuffed the culprit, and or yakked my yeat.
Carved soap?!? How 'bout waxed the dolphin?

flog the dolphin,
wax the carrot.
choke the chicken
Beat the dummy
squeeze the weasel
jerk the gherkin
shake white coconuts from the veiny tree
hand-to-gland combat
rape the raccoon
slap the purple-headed yogurt pistol

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:04 am

Mister Bushice wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:
Luther wrote:I have bopped bologna, carved soap, pulled pud, spanked the monkey, cuffed the culprit, and or yakked my yeat.
Carved soap?!? How 'bout waxed the dolphin?
flog the dolphin,
wax the carrot.
choke the chicken
Beat the dummy
squeeze the weasel
jerk the gherkin
shake white coconuts from the veiny tree
hand-to-gland combat
rape the raccoon
slap the purple-headed yogurt pistol

feeding the pigeons
punching the clown
doing the knuckle shuffle

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:50 pm

tug on shorty

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:08 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
Sirfindafold wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:Three winos awaken on a mattress that had been discarded next to a dumpster. The wino on the right says, "Man, I had a strange dream. I dreamt that someone was jaggin' me off!" The wino on the left replied, "What a coincidence - I too dreamt that someone was poundin' my pud." Wino in the middle said, "That is a coincidence. I didn't have that dream, though. I dreamt that I was skiing."

threadkiller.
Hard to kill something that's already dead.

Listen to this guy - he knows of what he speaks.

RIP and RACK

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:35 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:Hard to kill something that's already dead.
Listen to this guy - he knows of what he speaks.

The sig don't lie, mang.

Risa · Post by **Risa** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:45 pm

Luther wrote:Risa, that should be under your nickname. Picture a person skiing, and the motion involved in holding the ski poles. And I don't ski but I have bopped bologna, carved soap, pulled pud, spanked the monkey, cuffed the culprit, and or yakked my yeat.

Can we get a mod or admin to put "Just don't get it" under Risa's name, please?

TIA

Rip City

I'm sorry, man. I was thrown by this

Three winos awaken on a mattress that had been discarded next to a dumpster.

so I'm like, were the winos thrown out of a window with the mattress and that's why the third dude thought he was skiing (you know, like extreme jumping). It didn't make sense. As for the other, no matter the length I've never seen any guy treat his dick like a cow's udders. I've seen some energizer bunny shit that was amazing, but not any ski-poling

But thank you for the correction. I feel embarassed.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 2:54 pm

Good one for classy dinner parties, cocktail parties, business luncheons:

"How do you get a nun pregnant?"

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Fuck her.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:29 pm

Hey PSU - you do realise that your av stands for 'Isle of Man', not 'I Love Men'.

(seriously, is it a bike reference?)

Fat Bones · Post by **Fat Bones** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 10:34 pm

Did ya hear Mickey killed Minny?

Yeah, she was fucking Goofy.

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Tue Jul 31, 2007 11:38 pm

During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students:

"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her? "

Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I need to take a leak."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."

Charlie replied: " I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word "toilet" during a meal is unpleasant."

And Johnnie says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner."

That afternoon, Johnnie had to stay after school.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Wed Aug 01, 2007 6:34 pm

A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.

"None, they all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is four, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

"The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on... but I like your thinking."