Sis

[RumpleForeskin]

I'm sure I'll catch a lot of shit for this, but I am desperate for karma anywhere I can get it.

My sister went to a doctor yesterday because of a pounding headache she had been suffering from for the last four days. They ran a CT scan on her and the results came back with something. She was admitted to the hospital where they ran another CT scan to verify the initial results. It was confirmed she had a 1 and a half inch mass in her head. Today she had an MRI done and the doctors found a U shaped tumor in her brain and decided to remove it immediately. What was hoped by me and my family to just be a benign tumor, unfortunately it turned out to be much more serious. After 3 and half hours of surgery, the doctor informed us that it was in fact a severe malignant tumor. Pathology results will not be available for the type of cancer it is in my sister's brain until Saturday, but the doctor's initial prognosis suggests its a very aggressive cancer that will be difficult to treat, but at the same time there is a slim possibility it could be lymphoma which is treatable with chemo. For now, the doctors placed some chemo wafers in her head to release radiation on the affected areas. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

[Rob Lowe]

Archive.

[War Wagon]

I'm sure I'll catch a lot of shit for this, but I am desperate for karma anywhere I can get it.

Dude, you sure do seem to have a lot of drama in your life.

We'll need to see your sisters tits before any good karma can be issued.

Seriously, that sounds really bad for your sister. Good luck.

[BBMarley]

Rumple-

All the best to you and your family. Working on an oncology floor- I have seen the best and the worst. Stay strong man- your sister will need you

[RadioFan]

I'm sure I'll catch a lot of shit for this, but I am desperate for karma anywhere I can get it.

Obviously.

Why not drown your sorrows in the multiple pillows that you call your wife?

[Dinsdale]

Archive.

Maybe it's because I'm drunk, but that actually made me burst out laughing.

I wish your sister the best of luck, Rumple. But I hope you motherfucking die.

[Mister Bushice]

My sister went to a doctor yesterday because of a pounding headache she had been suffering from for the last four days. It was confirmed she had a 1 and a half inch mass in her head.

I'm gonna hazard a guess that it was either communion or the sermon that gave her the headaches.

I'm kind of shocked that the church managed to find a way to hide priests THAT well, though.

Miniaturization. Goddamn.

[DallasFanatic]

T&P are with you RF

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

I wish your sister the best of luck, Rumple. But I hope you motherfucking die.

Maybe it's because I'm sober, but that actually made me burst out laughing.

[OCmike]

Hope things work out for her, Rumple.

[BSmack]

They put a wafer in her skull?

Better make sure Rumplewife is well fed before visiting hours.






But seriously, best of luck to her. Cancer is a bitch. Treat it like one.

[BSmack]

But seriously, best of luck to her. Cancer is a bitch. Treat it like one.

I don't know how saying "yes dear", "please don't hit me" and doing the dishes out of fear is going to treat cancer.

Sin,

Terry in Crapchester

Not to totally derail this thread, but has anybody seen Mickey Rivers' wife on The Bronx Is Burning and NOT thought of Terry?

[Goober McTuber]

Rumple,

You’re a tard of the highest order, but best wishes to your sister in this ordeal. God knows she’s suffered enough already having you for a brother.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

After 3 and half hours of surgery, the doctor informed us that it was in fact a severe malignant tumor. Pathology results will not be available for the type of cancer it is in my sister's brain until Saturday.

How does he know that it's "severe" without getting any path or lab results back? Doctors don't usually hold the extracted mass up to a light and announce, "Yup, she's fucked. That's a severe malignant tumor!!" I am gonna have to call bullshit here.



Chances are it's a melanoma, or a carcinoma, some type of noma.

[RumpleForeskin]

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers fellas; it seems all the karma might be paying off.

Update.

Today was a bad morning that turned out to be good. My sister's head was swelling significantly overnight, so they had to perform an emergency surgery on her brain to reduce the swelling and relieve the pressure. After surgery was completed, the doctor said the swelling actually enabled him to remove more of the tumor. At the same time, the doctor was able to reduce most of the swelling. The doctors now say my sister has recovered to her condition before her original surgery, so that is positive news for her and the family. When she came out of her sedated mode, she was able to wiggle her toes and move her hands. Again, more positive news. We are still taking care of my 5 year old nephew and 3 year old neice while my sister and brother-in-law are at the hospital. Kids are doing great, but they miss their mommy. Hopefully they will get to see her next week.

[Rich Fader]

Thoughts, prayers and Jungle karma, Rump. One of my fraternity brothers got cut on for a brain tumor when we were undergrads. Twenty years down the road, he's alive, well, an MD, married to his college girlfriend and their kids will probably be starting kindergarten in a year or two. There is hope.

[smackaholic]

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers fellas; it seems all the karma might be paying off.

Update.

Today was a bad morning that turned out to be good. My sister's head was swelling significantly overnight, so they had to perform an emergency surgery on her brain to reduce the swelling and relieve the pressure. After surgery was completed, the doctor said the swelling actually enabled him to remove more of the tumor. At the same time, the doctor was able to reduce most of the swelling. The doctors now say my sister has recovered to her condition before her original surgery, so that is positive news for her and the family. When she came out of her sedated mode, she was able to wiggle her toes and move her hands. Again, more positive news. We are still taking care of my 5 year old nephew and 3 year old neice while my sister and brother-in-law are at the hospital. Kids are doing great, but they miss their mommy. Hopefully they will get to see her next week.

Glad to hear sis is doing better.

Just keep the niece and nephew away from rumplecow. It would really suck for your sis to get through this only to find one of her kids got squashed to death accidentally when auntie rolled over.

[PSUFAN]

Best wishes to your sister. I hope she beats this thing.

And good luck with your wife's clit. I hope you beat that thing HARD until she finally haloooooooooooos to see if you're down there:


You work hard, it's time you were recognized for your efforts.

[indyfrisco]

Seriously, get the fuck off the interwebs. What the fuck is your goal here? Do you print this shit off to read to your sister?

It was confirmed she had a 1 and a half inch mass in her head.

So which is it? Rumplesdicksthin or Bigfatmanintheboat?

[BSmack]

Seriously, get the fuck off the interwebs. What the fuck is your goal here? Do you print this shit off to read to your sister?

It was confirmed she had a 1 and a half inch mass in her head.

So which is it? Rumplesdicksthin or Bigfatmanintheboat?

At 1 1/2" it sounds more like TVO was doing some skullfucking.

[PSUFAN]

I feel a fat mass a'risin'...

[Goober McTuber]

Thoughts, prayers and Jungle karma, Rump.

Thank you, Andy Assmunch.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Best wishes to your sister, Rumple.

[RumpleForeskin]

Why is it always the paste eating dimwits on the fringe who bring their alleged family tragedies to the board?

You know what? I don't fucking care. Fuck you and your sister.

Because I need all the karma I can get. GFYJO

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I hate to break this to you Foreskin, but...

there is no such thing as "karma."

[Goober McTuber]

I hate to break this to you Foreskin, but...

there is no such thing as "karma."

Try telling that to Assmunch Fader.

[Dinsdale]

Because I need all the karma I can get.

You know what will never stop being funny?

Just how quickly people convert to Hinduism/Buddhism when someone gets sick.

Freaking classic. Must not have a whole lot of faith in the christian god, when they look across the ocean for the really tricky stuff like healing the sick.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

BCO will help in his uniquely semi-literate style.

Did he send you that book yet? If you don't want it, I'll take it man. I'll spread it across my lawn, watch it grow green, then later have the clippings littered all over Rack Fu's cul de sack.

[RumpleForeskin]

Right now I don't care what religion you are or what god you follow. Thoughts, prayers, karma, etc.; whatever works.

[Dog]

Hey guys, I need a little jungle karma for this rash on my dick. I don't know what it is quite yet, but it itches like a muthafucka. Any thoughts, prayers, karma you can send my way is appreciated.

tia

[quacker backer]

Why is it always the paste eating dimwits on the fringe who bring their alleged family tragedies to the board?

You know what? I don't fucking care. Fuck you and your sister.

it scares me but I actually was thinking the same thing...
get some real people around you...this place is just a stupid message board....

[indyfrisco]

Hey guys, I need a little jungle karma for this rash on my dick. I don't know what it is quite yet, but it itches like a muthafucka. Any thoughts, prayers, karma you can send my way is appreciated.

tia

I'll need to have a visual before karma is sent your way.

- ILII

[smackaholic]

I'd send you some karma, but, I seem to have misplaced it. Prolly sitting next to the fukking clutch slave cylinder rebuild kit I been looking all over the place for. $21 for a fukking set of O rings!!! Fukkk!!!! Now, it looks like I gotta spend it again.

Actually, even if I did have some karma kicking around, I think I'd use it to try to get a BJ outta the old lady or something useful like that.

Rack mvs, btw, for reminding dimwits on proper karma aquisition techniques and for just being the most cold hearted sumbitch on the internet.

[Invictus]

Right now I don't care what religion you are or what god you follow. Thoughts, prayers, karma, etc.; whatever works.

I worship Joe Pesci because he looks like a guy who can really get shit done.

rack my obscure comedic ref.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

When did an amazing Carlin rant about religion start becoming... "obscure"?????

[Invictus]

Guess it is just obscure in my off interweb circles.

My bad yo.

[Headhunter]

When did an amazing Carlin rant about religion start becoming... "obscure"?????

When people started thinking Carrot Top was funny.

If you've seen Idiocracy you'll understand where we are headed.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

My bad yo.

No prob... it probably is obscure to most people. Just not our little community of dorks really cool peeps with good taste in comedy.

[Invictus]

A good point ucan't.

I don't know many people personally who can discuss Pryor, Bob and Tom, Carlin, and Lenny Bruce but I know that most of the cats on here can.

I was in Vegas last weekend for a wedding and there were billboards and elevator ads urging me to go see Carrot Top at some strip hotel, I forget which one. Rita Ruddner and Louis Anderson also have shows in Vegas. What happens in Vegas should always stay in Vegas.

Who the fuck pays to see any of those hacks at a show?

Speaking of Vegas and fat, single gay men, anyone seen JCT around here recently?

[indyfrisco]

Ow, my balls!