Need A Job? Overweght? Dumb? "History"?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:48 pm

Well, the U.S. armed forces are eager to hire you, even if they wouldn't give you the time of day a year or two ago.

Among the changes that have helped attract recruits:

•Increasing to $20,000 the bonus for troops who join by Sept. 30 and leave for boot camp within a month.

•Raising the enlistment age to 42.

•Allowing recruits to come in with nonoffensive tattoos on their hands and neck.

•Offering a $2,000 bonus to soldiers who refer a new recruit.

•Enlisting recruits who don't meet weight standards and must trim down their first year.

•Advertising that targets potential recruits' parents.

•Increasing the number of recruits with general education diplomas rather than regular high school diplomas.

•Creating a more pleasant boot camp environment.

•Sending gung-ho soldiers fresh from boot camp or war zones to their hometowns to visit old friends and schoolmates to promote the Army.

•Increasing to more than 15 percent the number of Army and Army Reserve troops given waivers for medical and moral reasons or for positive drug and alcohol screening tests.

*Free prosthetic limbs to replace the real ones you leave behind.

*Get Out Of Jail card for any murders and rapes of Iraqi civilians.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 6:52 pm

Are you trying to tell me that there is still hope for Tom? Might the old bird finally take flight?

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Aug 10, 2007 7:02 pm

Well, if Don't Ask, Don't Tell is still in effect, I guess his GED is gold.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 12:07 am

this got moved to spin? looks more like trots archive material to me.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Aug 11, 2007 12:20 am

smackaholic wrote:this got moved to spin? looks more like trots archive material to me.

No argument from me on that call.

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Sat Aug 11, 2007 2:07 am

LT2, your country needs you.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sun Aug 12, 2007 12:06 am

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/5045831.html

Don't worry, our War Czar has suggested reviving the draft.

Gee, 88, after all it's a family affair :D

Here, son, help me urinate

Sorry, kids, but I really don't feel like reading you a bedtime story

Rich Fader · Post by **Rich Fader** » Sun Aug 12, 2007 2:04 pm

Apparently, not only does a smack board need its tards, but so do our armed forces.

LT2, I'll say it again: your country needs you. See your recruiter today.