Salem, Ma

BBMarley · Post by **BBMarley** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:13 pm

Hey all...

Anyone ever been here for a visit? My wife and I have always been interested in going for a trip and I may schedule a trip up there for a couple days next week. Is it worth it for my wife, daughter and I to make the 6 hour drive?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:15 pm

I've been 3-4 times. I live in the Boston/North Shore area, so I'm only 35 minutes away.

Do:

*Salem Theatre Company (maybe not so much for your kid)
*Peabody-Essex Museum (again, maybe not so much for your kid) not about Salem Witches, just art.
*Haunted Footsteps Tour (if you get a good guide)
*Dracula's Castle (excellent for children)
*Willow's Park (rides, arcade, food, etc... good for children)

Don't:
*Salem Witch Museum (lame)
*House of Seven Gables (boring, was very disappointed)
*Witch Dungeon Museum (herded like cattle through gift shop area. asshats constantly selling you shit. fuck this place with a passion)

There's some really cool museums about Salem Witch trials. If your daughter isn't too young, it might be interesting for her. Just like any touristy attraction, there's a lot of bullshit not worth the money and really cool places... if you can wade through the BS.

BBMarley · Post by **BBMarley** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:32 pm

Cool... thanks man!

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Aug 24, 2007 6:45 pm

there's another cool little town in the area, you might have heard of it. It's called Boston.

I wouldn't drive 6 hrs to see salem, but, I might to see boston.

Fortunately, I only have a 2 hr drive unless of course there's the usual fukked up traffic where it goes to more like 3 days-week.

We went downtown to the quincy market/fanueil hall area. There was a free concert going on, a very, very good chairforce big band. They did an especially nice job on the buddy rich orchestra version of west side story. the drummer was no buddy rich, fukkk, NOBODY is a buddy rich when it comes to drumming, but, he was quite respectable.

not sure if they have concerts every night or not. I think it was a wednesday night that we were there.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:34 pm

so marley, are you making the trip to beantown?

if so, here are a few tips to help with communication with the natives. they have a pretty fukked up dialect. when it comes to town pronunciations, your first 6 or 7 guesses at it will likely be wrong.

Worchester? Try wuss-tuh.

Many already know this one. A good one to know though, is Peabody. It's not pronounced like that little dog professor cartoon dude from the 60s. It's more like peeb-ih-dee, but said quickly. Pretty much one syllable.

So, if you have a sox cap and some sort of derogatory yankees gear and the look, kind of a Irish fetal alcohol syndrome thing, just pull off the pike somewhere near boston and walk up to somebody and say "hey buddy, how do ya get to peebihdee? I been theh once befoh , but I was cahked." They'll hook you up. Probably even ask if you wanna go drinkin'.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Sat Aug 25, 2007 4:40 pm

And make sure to use the word "wicked" repeatedly to describe anything you like.

If you REALLY like it, call it "wicked good."

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Aug 25, 2007 7:09 pm

another fukked up part of the chowd dialect is the complete inability to pronounce the letter R in it's proper place. They don't just drop Rs like some new yorkers do. They just misplace it. They figure "oh fahk me I forgot to pronounce that R on the end of car, so I'll make up for it by adding a few on to words that don't have them."

For instance....

I was so fahkin' cahked that I plowed my cahh into the rivah. You shoulda sawr it. Now it smells like low tide no mattah how much I warsh it out out.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Sat Aug 25, 2007 10:55 pm

smackaholic wrote:there's another cool little town in the area, you might have heard of it. It's called Boston.

Are you retarded? There's actual history in the town of Salem that you can't get in Boston. Would you tell anyone who wants to check out the casinos in CT to go to Ellington? Good God. Excellent advice, smack.... "Go to Fanueil {Sic} Hall and learn about the witches."

Furthermore, the Boston "R" is not relocated to words like warsh and sarw. That is total bullshit... no one here talks like that.

Lastly, it's WUH-STAH, no wuss-tuh. Not even close. If you're going to bag on the Chowd dialect, at least have the common courtesy to know what the fuck you're talking about.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:15 pm

no, I wouldn't tell somebody going to the casinos to go to ellington unless maybe they are into cow tipping. I mentioned boston because he talked about driving 6 fuggin' hrs to visit a crappy minor little town that got some run just because the locals had a witch barbeque 300 years ago while completely ignoring a major city right next door that has more fukking ancient history than the rest of the country's cities combined, damned near. Ofcourse salem has history, so does glouchester or many other little 300 year old towns in the area.

As for which syllable the s belongs to in worchester, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one, being a chowd and all.

As for misplaced Rs, if you are gonna tell me that 99% of chowds don't say sawr, then you are full of shit.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:47 pm

Park the car in the Harvard Yard !! Oh--and it is Worcester. As long as we are going this way. Here's the real test--pronounce Leominster.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 12:59 pm

leminstuh

How 'bout a list of cities in mass you needn't bother visiting. Cities that make CNY or CPA look, well, less shitty. My top 3 massatwoshit shithole cities are.....

Brockton-What an ugly ass shithole. Drove through it a few weeks ago headed back from one of the nicer spots on the southshore. Why did they spend eleventy trillion dollahs on the dig just to make logan accessible? They coulda killed two birds with one stone and bulldozed Brockton and built a decent airport.

Fitchburg-Pass through this lovely little burg from time to time. Makes me wish that we had given puerto rico back to spain after we kicked their ass. That way their wouldn't be so many friggin PRs here and maybe fitchburg might suck less.

One of the cities along 128 north west of boston. Not sure which one it is, but, from 128 it looks like a complete shithole. Lowell, maybe?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Aug 26, 2007 10:47 pm

If you do decide to head up I-91 to northern new england, stay on 95 for an extra hour or so and get off in east lyme and clog up route 1 traffic just a bit more just to piss todd off. Then take back roads up through ct as they are much nicer than the highways.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Mon Aug 27, 2007 2:05 pm

smackaholic wrote:As for misplaced Rs, if you are gonna tell me that 99% of chowds don't say sawr, then you are full of shit.

Born and raised in JP (Jamaica Plain.) Currently work in JP and live in the North Shore. Spend every day interacting with Chowds. I know what I am talking about... No one here talks like that. You're confusing Maine (and parts of NH) with Boston.

smackaholic wrote:One of the cities along 128 north west of boston. Not sure which one it is, but, from 128 it looks like a complete shithole. Lowell, maybe?

Lowell is a shithole, but you can't see it from 128. If you want to talk about THE ARMPIT of Massachusetts, look no further than Lawrence. That's nowhere near 128 though either = off 495. Reminds me of Bridgeport, CT about 20 years ago...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:41 pm

that's the one I'm thinking of ucan't. Just had the wrong loop, 495 rather than 128. thanks for unfukking me.

maybe it's just chowd who move to CT that say shit like "I sawr my sistuh sukk a guys cahk for a dawluh" or maybe there are different dialects within chowd nation. whatever. bottom line is, you fukkers talk fukked up. but, it is one of my favorite fukked up acents. My favorite though is downeast maine. some of them fukkers are pretty much unintelligible, but, it sounds cool.

as for most fukked up accents, asswhipes from south jersey piss me off. i wanna put fukking ear plugs in when traveling in that area for fear of ending up in jail for having to shoot somebody. I HATE that fukking accent. Other annoying accents is the anglo canuck accent. sounds like somebody grabs them by their balls at the end of every sentence. wait, i forgot, they don't have balls.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Aug 28, 2007 12:51 pm

smackaholic wrote:bottom line is, you fukkers talk fukked up.

I speak with a Nutmeg drawl... spent the majority of my formative years in Enfield, CT. I lost my chowdcent many, many years ago. The "funny" part is, these Massholes all think I talk funny.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:53 pm

smackaholic wrote:thanks for unfukking me.

Ucant is a man of many talents.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Aug 28, 2007 11:08 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
smackaholic wrote:bottom line is, you fukkers talk fukked up.

I speak with a Nutmeg drawl... spent the majority of my formative years in Enfield, CT. I lost my chowdcent many, many years ago. The "funny" part is, these Massholes all think I talk funny.

so which is it then, jamaica plains or enfield?

my brotherinlaw's kids went to school in enfield (fermi). i suspect you are a little older than them. when did you graduate?

growing up, i thought nobody in ct had an accent till I moved away, then came back. We seem to have a muddled boston accent as best I can tell with a little new yawk accent thrown in.