What do you call 500 Cherokees that don't have any apples?
The Indianappless 500.
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Labor Day Joke
Moderator: Jesus H Christ
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Smackie Chan
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Re: Labor Day Joke
Sirfindafold wrote:What do you call 500 Cherokees that don't have any apples?
The Indianappless 500.
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Wouldn't that joke be more for Memorial Day weekend?
RACK Smackie...
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Smackie Chan
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More medical humor...
An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, “You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad.”
The old man, naturally, gets all nervous and asks, “What is it, Doc? Don't hold back -- just give it to me straight.”
“Well,” says the doctor, “you have cancer and you have Alzheimer's.”
The man replies, “Wow. Well, at least I don't have cancer.”
An old man goes to see the doctor and gets some tests. When the results come in, the doctor calls the old man in and says, “You'd better sit down. It's pretty bad.”
The old man, naturally, gets all nervous and asks, “What is it, Doc? Don't hold back -- just give it to me straight.”
“Well,” says the doctor, “you have cancer and you have Alzheimer's.”
The man replies, “Wow. Well, at least I don't have cancer.”
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smackaholic
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An italian, a englishman and a pollack are gonna try to walk across the sahara desert.
The guinea decides to bring along a jug of wine to quench his thirst.
The pasty englishman brings an umbrella to provide shade.
The pollack decides to bring a car door.
WTF are you bringing a car door for you dumb pollack? says the other two.
"When it gets hot, I'll roll down the window"
The guinea decides to bring along a jug of wine to quench his thirst.
The pasty englishman brings an umbrella to provide shade.
The pollack decides to bring a car door.
WTF are you bringing a car door for you dumb pollack? says the other two.
"When it gets hot, I'll roll down the window"
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
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Smackie Chan
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- Joined: Fri May 20, 2005 1:56 pm
- Location: Inside Your Speakers
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock -- it's half-past three in the morning.
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."
"I'm not getting out of bed at this time", he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So, he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk. "Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"
"No. Get lost, it's half-past three. I was in bed," says the man and slams the door.
He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's door to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him."
So, the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and, not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?" and he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger, he shouts: "Where are you?"
And the stranger replies: "I'm over here, on your swing set."
