Rack Garth Brooks

[KC Scott]

I can't speak for Paul, just myself. For me, a lot has changed since 1997. Namely, I decided that I'd rather grow old with my wife than make her a widow for the last 20 years of her life. I'm already 10 years older than her and the actuarial tables are making me spot her another 6 years or so. Simply put, when I got married, I realized that I had to work twice as hard if I was going to ever have a chance of celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary with her. Which I would very much like to do. So I put the work in every day.

5 years ago, I was a candidate for high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. Now I'm sporting a BP of 110 over 70, a resting pulse rate of 70 bpm, my sugar and cholesterol are all good and I've managed to avoid the necessity of taking any medication other than my allergy meds. As for my level of fitness, I can walk 18 holes on a summer day while carrying my bag and my back 9 score stays within 3 strokes or less of my front 9 score. For a 41 year old guy, I figure that's a pretty good start. But I'm by no means finished. That's why I have all that gear in my basement.

Rack you for not playing the "it wasn't me, it was my fat brother card".
I've seen the pics :D

Good luck with the fitness regimine - it's one day at a time

[RevLimiter]

Unless the B-smack I met years ago has had an amazing
transformation--I find all this talk about exercise laughable !!
How did the smoking cessation work out Bri ??

Let's just say that I'm not the guy you met in 1997. A lot of shit has changed since the days of Elba and Smack Chat I.

I'm not fat anymore, either

Sin,

KCcut-n-paste

Backstabbingfucksayswhat?

[KC Scott]

It was the coat.
IT WAS THE COAT.
IT WAS THE COAT

Sin,

[War Wagon]

Simply put, when I got married, I realized that I had to work twice as hard if I was going to ever have a chance of celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary with her. Which I would very much like to do. So I put the work in every day.

15,222 posts says what?

Get yer lardass to the basement if you want to celebrate 20.

[Ana Ng]

That's a chick?

No offense, Wags. Maybe it's just a bad angle?

[BSmack]

15,222 posts says what?

It says that I have time management skills. I can multitask. That would be why I manage product pushes to thousands of retail locations while you drive a forklift.

Get yer lardass to the basement if you want to celebrate 20.

Compared to you, Ethiopians are lardasses. Mix some fucking protein in your diet and start lifting some weights. Just because you have the metabolic rate of a bumblebee does not mean your muscles are not slowly undergoing age related atrophy.

[Dinsdale]

Maybe in the U & L. In the Midwest, it's a Subaru Brokeback.

Oh, I forgot the cultural timeline.


Give them a few more years, and many of them will switch to Wranglers.

Don't get me wrong -- the Outback is displayed in the Lesbo Hall of Fame, bit it ain't no Wrangler.

Sin,
Resident of the Lesbian Capital of the Universe

[Goober McTuber]

Resident of the Lesbian Capital of the Universe

Perhaps the quality of the men in the U & L and their limited skill sets may be driving this high rate of Lesbianism.

[Dinsdale]

I attribute the Great Lesbian Migration to the high number of Subaru and Jeep dealerships.


Chicken/egg argument, I guess.

[Goober McTuber]

I attribute the Great Lesbian Migration to the high number of Subaru and Jeep dealerships.

With your proximity to the ocean, it might also have been the fish smell....

[War Wagon]

That's a chick?

No offense, Wags. Maybe it's just a bad angle?

No offense taken Angie, it's a smack board.

Can't vouch for those others, but #9 is definitely a female.

I was the first person to look in those eyes in the delivery room, and I got swallowed up whole.

Any angle looking at her is a good angle, btw.

And thanks again to orc for that particular angle.

[Y2K]

Smart Parent knows how to properly manipulate the expensive "and sometimes frivilous" shit we can afford to buy for our kids and use it so Smart Parent still gets over and is good $ spent in the long run.

It's hella fun holding all the cards, "Neat Stuff" can be quite the motivational tool if used properly as well is solid collateral when the kids screw up and you just wanna mess with their heads. Sometimes I just want to snag a kids Nintendo DS, I-Pod, ect so I can use it until I'm done, and as a bonus, the chores get done.


The frivilous "stuff" is extra fun, you can hang it over your kids head a long time...
My kids won't ask us for $200 concert tickets, They already know that won't work out well.

My kids aren't spoiled by any means but they are very fortunate....

they know it
I enjoy making sure they don't forget. Fun Fun...........

[smackaholic]

No self respecting lesbo worth here LL bean flanel shirt would be caught dead in an outback. Outbacks are for yuppie soccer moms that aren't quite dumb enough to buy a full sized SUV. Or atleast that's how it goes here in the U&R. And trust me we got our share of carpet munchers.

My list of dike mobiles...

1. Wrangler (I think that one's pretty much universal).
2. Cherokee
3. 4 door explorer pickup (bonus points for kayak on roof/bed)
4. 77 F-350 4x4 (old school bulldike rig. other years acceptable so long as it has the round headlights. the square ones they went to around 78-79 are gax. bonus points for chrome diesel stacks)

[BSmack]

No self respecting lesbo worth here LL bean flanel shirt would be caught dead in an outback. Outbacks are for yuppie soccer moms that aren't quite dumb enough to buy a full sized SUV. Or atleast that's how it goes here in the U&R. And trust me we got our share of carpet munchers.

I'm pretty sure the Subaru Outback is the State Car of Vermont. You can't swing a dead hippie in Vermont without hitting an Outback owner.

[Dinsdale]

4. 77 F-350 4x4 (old school bulldike rig. other years acceptable so long as it has the round headlights. the square ones they went to around 78-79 are gax. bonus points for chrome diesel stacks)

Oh, dude. I was being all cool and shit, but you had to go there, and conjure the images of one of the more fearsome sights in the U&L...

The dreaded Rural Lezbo.

DO NOT look Rural Lezbo directly in the eye. DO NOT make any comments, even if her cholo-style bandana is on crooked. DO NOT cross Rural Lezbo... it's like a snake coiled, ready to strike.


When you are travelling off the beaten path and deep in the woods, if you encounter a group of Rural Lezbos ( a "group" being any number greater than zero), treat them with the same caution as you'd treat other forest hazards, such as Methed-Out Logger, Bigfoot, or any group of people sporting torches and pentagrams -- just turn around and leave the area as quickly as possible.

[RevLimiter]

My list of dike mobiles...

1. Wrangler (I think that one's pretty much universal).
2. Cherokee
3. 4 door explorer pickup (bonus points for kayak on roof/bed)
4. 77 F-350 4x4 (old school bulldike rig. other years acceptable so long as it has the round headlights. the square ones they went to around 78-79 are gax. bonus points for chrome diesel stacks)

You left off two high profile dike sleds:





I think BOTH those fugly things come standard with rainbow stripes on the back glass.

[Dinsdale]

You left off two high profile dike sleds:

Uhm...no.


Sin,
Dude Who Lives Where There's More Lezbos In One Block Than Your Entire Region



Dang, I'm getting back to this whole "if I had a digicam" thing. If I had a digicam, next time I go through the Lesbo District(yeah, we have one of those... fairly large, really), I'd go take a pic at the parking lot of the Egyptian Club, or any of the other close-in-Southeast lezbo clubs. And you wouldn't see any freaking Hondas.

[Felix]

That's a chick?

No offense, Wags. Maybe it's just a bad angle?

[smackaholic]

You left off two high profile dike sleds:

Uhm...no.


Sin,
Dude Who Lives Where There's More Lezbos In One Block Than Your Entire Region



Dang, I'm getting back to this whole "if I had a digicam" thing. If I had a digicam, next time I go through the Lesbo District(yeah, we have one of those... fairly large, really), I'd go take a pic at the parking lot of the Egyptian Club, or any of the other close-in-Southeast lezbo clubs. And you wouldn't see any freaking Hondas.

not so fast, dins. you might see a honda in that parking lot. probably a cr500.....in the bed of the F-350. Other than that, I concur. Rev Limiter don't know shit 'bout lezbo transportation. If there is a rainbow in the rear window of a crv, you can bet it's owned by a cum swilling nancy boy.

[Mister Bushice]

Yeppers, that's her Mace, and yes, she has worked hard developing that swing. Those hitting lessons at $50 per half hour didn't hurt either. Money well spent. She's definitely not a slap hitter, doesn't have the wheels, and that ball you see coming off her bat is a line drive into the right-center field gap for a 2 out, 2 RBI double.

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

[smackaholic]

Or I bought her a bat that cost more than folks insome countries make in a year, so she can drive the ball through the gap.....in women's softball. Forget to mention that those 4 or 7 or however many outfielders there are in women's softball are about 15 feet behind the infielders which makes them almost as deep as real baseball infielders.....when they are looking to turn a double play.

[smackaholic]

No self respecting lesbo worth here LL bean flanel shirt would be caught dead in an outback. Outbacks are for yuppie soccer moms that aren't quite dumb enough to buy a full sized SUV. Or atleast that's how it goes here in the U&R. And trust me we got our share of carpet munchers.

I'm pretty sure the Subaru Outback is the State Car of Vermont. You can't swing a dead hippie in Vermont without hitting an Outback owner.

Yes, the Outback is pretty damn popular with former hippie vermonters, but, the topic here was lesmobiles. I could maybe see a lesbo in an old rusted out brat, but, no fuggin' weigh are you gonna see one in an outback. Not even in vermont.

Another cool lezbo rig would be an army surplus Humvee. Gotta be the D.O.D. model with the GM diesel. No blinged out chromed rim hummer.

[BSmack]

I'm pretty sure the Subaru Outback is the State Car of Vermont. You can't swing a dead hippie in Vermont without hitting an Outback owner.

Yes, the Outback is pretty damn popular with former hippie vermonters, but, the topic here was lesmobiles. I could maybe see a lesbo in an old rusted out brat, but, no fuggin' weigh are you gonna see one in an outback. Not even in vermont.

Another cool lezbo rig would be an army surplus Humvee. Gotta be the D.O.D. model with the GM diesel. No blinged out chromed rim hummer.

Yea, cause there's no lesbians in Vermont. Not in one of the two states that gives full legal rights to same sex couples. They would NEVER move there.

True story. My brother rents a house in Vermont. The owners? A lesbian couple. Their rig? A Subaru Outback.

[War Wagon]

Yeppers, that's her Mace, and yes, she has worked hard developing that swing. Those hitting lessons at $50 per half hour didn't hurt either. Money well spent. She's definitely not a slap hitter, doesn't have the wheels, and that ball you see coming off her bat is a line drive into the right-center field gap for a 2 out, 2 RBI double.

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

Any money spent on her for softball was well spent. The scholarship for just her freshman year alone more than paid that back.

And besides that, if she had never even gotten a dime for college, the good times we've had watching her grow and develop over the years would've still been well worth it. She's happy, healthy, and never gotten into a bit of trouble. I'm extremely proud of her.

Yet you apparently have a problem with that

What's up with your redass about my daughter? The picture becoming clear here is that you're one bitter little fuckstain. Those drubbings I've given you over the years are still leaving a mark, eh?

So what's up with your kid(s), Bitchshice? Have to pull one out of a ditch lately? Do tell how successful they are, and try not to lie thru your teeth.

Ya' know, I pretty much try to ignore your dreary existence these days. You're probably the lamest and most boring poster to ever bash submit. That fact has been brought home quite clearly on numerous occasions and by many posters. Yet you're somehow still delusional to the point that you think something you post just might be relevant.

Dude, you flat out suck. You always have, you always will. Paul could run circles around you without stopping to catch his breath.

[RevLimiter]

Yeppers, that's her Mace, and yes, she has worked hard developing that swing. Those hitting lessons at $50 per half hour didn't hurt either. Money well spent. She's definitely not a slap hitter, doesn't have the wheels, and that ball you see coming off her bat is a line drive into the right-center field gap for a 2 out, 2 RBI double.

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

I pray you never reproduce.

[Y2K]

Yeppers, that's her Mace, and yes, she has worked hard developing that swing. Those hitting lessons at $50 per half hour didn't hurt either. Money well spent. She's definitely not a slap hitter, doesn't have the wheels, and that ball you see coming off her bat is a line drive into the right-center field gap for a 2 out, 2 RBI double.

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

I pray you never reproduce.

Funny you mention reproduction Paul.......

Has the Doc given you a firm date on your inpending Mitosis?
Chin up Tough Guy, and remember Darwin can be one sick Bastard.
Half the fat but twice the stupid.
but look on the bright side ,
I doubt anyone here will even notice, If by chance you start double posting plagiarized content from other Interweb Boards? Relax, and when Genetic Question Marks like yourself save enough energy to fire up synaptic activity and finally surpass "Basic Moron" and after breaking out The Depends from the excess Spittle Drool coming from a consistant habit of talking out your Ass, don't forget to scrawl out some bizarre "DoubleTard" UberBode Smack to solidify the pure "laugh value" we all get at your expense.

Double the Dipshit,
Double the Fun,
Double the Fodder,
Double the Run.

This is guaranteed to upstage any epic KCPauley vs. Kaley Battle even taking Kaley's advantage in having that extra chromosome in account.

Pins and needles.....really..

[Mister Bushice]

Yeppers, that's her Mace, and yes, she has worked hard developing that swing. Those hitting lessons at $50 per half hour didn't hurt either. Money well spent. She's definitely not a slap hitter, doesn't have the wheels, and that ball you see coming off her bat is a line drive into the right-center field gap for a 2 out, 2 RBI double.

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

Any money spent on her for softball was well spent. The scholarship for just her freshman year alone more than paid that back.

Not smart enough for an educational scholarship? I'm Shocked* your offspring would underachieve like that.

And besides that, if she had never even gotten a dime for college, the good times we've had watching her grow and develop over the years would've still been well worth it.

Like the son you've never even gotten.

The picture becoming clear here is that you're one bitter little fuckstain. Those drubbings I've given you over the years are still leaving a mark, eh?

Drubbings? which? where? Hell, Have you given even ONE, to ANYONE?

If you provide it, I would bronze the link to said drubbage.

So what's up with your kid(s), Bitchshice? Have to pull one out of a ditch lately? Do tell how successful they are, and try not to lie thru your teeth.

Unlike you, I don't feel any compulsion to put pics or stories of my kids on a message board to gain some level of satisfaction or meaning, or whatever the hell it is you get by draping your sad ass life over the laundry lines of the internet for anyone to beat with a stick.

Paul could run circles around you without stopping to catch his breath.

Most planetoids can. I'm not that bothered by it.








* Like hell I am.

[Y2K]

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

I pray you never reproduce.

Funny you mention reproduction Paul.......

Has the Doc given you a firm date on your inpending Mitosis?
Chin up Tough Guy, and remember Darwin can be one sick Bastard.
Half the fat but twice the stupid.
but look on the bright side ,
I doubt anyone here will even notice, If by chance you start double posting plagiarized content from other Interweb Boards? Relax, Genetic question mark's like yourself need to save energy to possibly fire up synaptic activity and surpass "Basic Moron." After wringing out the Depends from the excess Spittle from talking out your fat ass, don't forget to scrawl out some bizarre "DoubleTard" UberBode Smack to solidify the pure "laugh value" we all get at your expense.

Double the Dipshit,
Double the Fun,
Double the Fodder,
Double the Run.

This is guaranteed to upstage any epic KCPauley vs. Kaley Battle even taking Kaley's advantage in having that extra chromosome in account.

Pins and needles.....really..

[smackaholic]

I'm pretty sure the Subaru Outback is the State Car of Vermont. You can't swing a dead hippie in Vermont without hitting an Outback owner.

Yes, the Outback is pretty damn popular with former hippie vermonters, but, the topic here was lesmobiles. I could maybe see a lesbo in an old rusted out brat, but, no fuggin' weigh are you gonna see one in an outback. Not even in vermont.

Another cool lezbo rig would be an army surplus Humvee. Gotta be the D.O.D. model with the GM diesel. No blinged out chromed rim hummer.

Yea, cause there's no lesbians in Vermont. Not in one of the two states that gives full legal rights to same sex couples. They would NEVER move there.

True story. My brother rents a house in Vermont. The owners? A lesbian couple. Their rig? A Subaru Outback.

like old hippies, i think vermont is where old lezzie couples go to settle down and run a B&B.

the lezzies dins and i refer to are the twenty something active lezzies that can't fit their dirt bike into an outback.

so, i guess i will give outback as a rig of choice of settled down over 35 lezbo B&B owners. but the young ones are more fun to run lezbo smack about. and that pretty much is the whole point of this shitstain of a message board, ain't it?

[RevLimiter]

Everything you write about her should just end with the phrase, "In Womens Softball"

For example " I spent untold sums of money at $50 per half hour to perfect my daughters swing so she would succeed "IN WOMENS SOFTBALL"

It gives everyone a much clearer picture of how much of a dumbass you are.

I pray you never reproduce.

Funny you mention reproduction Paul.......

Has the Doc given you a firm date on your inpending Mitosis?
Chin up Tough Guy, and remember Darwin can be one sick Bastard.
Half the fat but twice the stupid.
but look on the bright side ,
I doubt anyone here will even notice, If by chance you start double posting plagiarized content from other Interweb Boards? Relax, and when Genetic Question Marks like yourself save enough energy to fire up synaptic activity and finally surpass "Basic Moron" and after breaking out The Depends from the excess Spittle Drool coming from a consistant habit of talking out your Ass, don't forget to scrawl out some bizarre "DoubleTard" UberBode Smack to solidify the pure "laugh value" we all get at your expense.

Double the Dipshit,
Double the Fun,
Double the Fodder,
Double the Run.

This is guaranteed to upstage any epic KCPauley vs. Kaley Battle even taking Kaley's advantage in having that extra chromosome in account.

Pins and needles.....really..

WOW....nice attempt at trying to make all that jibberish look legible and coherent.

It didn't work.

P.S.- I'm extending the no-reproduction prayer to you as well....quit stealing our oxygen and kindly swallow a 12-gauge slug.

TIA

[Goober McTuber]

No self respecting lesbo worth here LL bean flanel shirt would be caught dead in an outback. Outbacks are for yuppie soccer moms that aren't quite dumb enough to buy a full sized SUV. Or atleast that's how it goes here in the U&R. And trust me we got our share of carpet munchers.

I'm pretty sure the Subaru Outback is the State Car of Vermont. You can't swing a dead hippie in Vermont without hitting an Outback owner.

Yes, the Outback is pretty damn popular with former hippie vermonters, but, the topic here was lesmobiles. I could maybe see a lesbo in an old rusted out brat, but, no fuggin' weigh are you gonna see one in an outback. Not even in vermont.

Another cool lezbo rig would be an army surplus Humvee. Gotta be the D.O.D. model with the GM diesel. No blinged out chromed rim hummer.

Madison, since it is the most liberal city in the Midwest, is a major haven or same-sexers. The Subaru is definitely at the top of the list of preferred vehicles for this demographic. It’s just a fact.

I don’t think that the Wrangler is all that popular here with anyone, because of the colder climate. Those things don’t seal up that well. And around here the Jeep Cherokee is much more likely to be found in the vastly incapable hands of soccer mom.

[smackaholic]

your picture of the lezbo is no fun. here's another fine old school lezbo rig...

1st gen bronco

[Goober McTuber]

your picture of the lezbo is no fun.

Oh, I have some real fun lezbo pictures. Videos, too. I’m not posting them here, though.

[Dinsdale]

so, i guess i will give outback as a rig of choice of settled down over 35 lezbo B&B owners. but the young ones are more fun to run lezbo smack about. and that pretty much is the whole point of this shitstain of a message board, ain't it?

I think that pretty well nails it for the U&L lezbos, too.


Although I'd say they're more likely to be toting a Banshee, Quadzilla, or some other ATV, over the CR500. Might be a regional thing, since the 4-wheeler is a better all-around ride, since they're much better suited to riding on the beach/dunes. I'll assume it's the fishy smell that draws them to the beach, but you'll find plenty in the forest riding the logging roads as well. But whatever OHV they choose, it's a pretty safe bet they'll get the biggest, baddest, fastest one... because that is how they roll.



Did I mention that I tried to convert a pair of lezbos not too long ago? And for those who don't know better -- 99.9% of lezbos don't look like the chicks in girl-on-girl porn (thanks, Marcus). Sure, they were a little on the butch side, but I figured that since there was two of them, I needed to do some math, and adjust my already-low standards by a factor of 0.5 to compensate for there being two of them. Not sure if my conversion techniques worked or not, nor do I care. And I was pretty buzzed, but if I remember right, at least one of them drove... an Outback.

[Ana Ng]

My list of dike mobiles...

1. Wrangler (I think that one's pretty much universal).

Motherfucker, I drive a Jeep Wrangler!!!

Bwahahaha!

No worries, I see you workin'.


How do you feel about the Jeep Liberty?!

[smackaholic]

I'm not a dike, so what do you think?

Actually, I really wanted a CJ pretty badly when I was a kid, but, I'm kinda over that now. If I ever get the need to go offroading, I think I'd get a pickup instead. Make that old dented up cheap pickup. Nothing stupider than some dimwit taking his shiny new 4X4 pickup offroad, then crying when he scratches it up. I have seen this first hand. I couldn't believe how fukking dumb that guy was.

Actually, the most fun time I ever had four wheeling was with a friend that bought his neighbors rusted out '69 torino station wagon for 50 bucks. We beat the fukking shit outta that thing in the state forest. What a fukking blast that was. After we were done abusing it, he got 75 bucks from the junkyard for it. That is some cost effective offroading there.

[LTS TRN 2]

Lezzys..?......what do you know 'bout Lesbos?.....