I'm going to the prom.

It's the 19th Anniversary for T1B - Fuckin' A

Moderator: Jesus H Christ

Post Reply
User avatar
missjo
I'm a Fucking Princess
Posts: 643
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 9:50 am
Location: Oz

Post by missjo »

I say do the whole High school prom experience
Though I would skip the backseat & book a Nice hotel
I think it would be hilarious fun
Don't forget to get the biggest corsage you can find & take a hipflask of butterscotch schnapps
You'll have a more of a chance of getting lucky that way ;)
You just can't fix stupid...trust me I've tried
User avatar
Dinsdale
Lord Google
Posts: 33414
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 5:30 pm
Location: Rip City

Post by Dinsdale »

missjo wrote: You'll have a more of a chance of getting lucky that way

He's married -- the best chance at being "lucky" he has is if the OL's great great aunt kicks off, she has to leave town with the kids the weekend of the prom, and he gets to sit around all weekend watching football and scratching his nuts.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
User avatar
Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 31514
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Post by Mikey »

Be careful not to insult your wife.

You might get locked in a burning gymnasium.
User avatar
Cicatrix
Elwood
Posts: 708
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2005 4:26 am
Location: The land of beer and hockey

Re: I'm going to the prom.

Post by Cicatrix »

R-Jack wrote:or if I was just going to date rape her in the back of my parents car, which I would borrow for the evening.
Two words.....Lemon Gin.
User avatar
Mister Bushice
Drinking all the beer Luther left behind
Posts: 9490
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:39 pm

Post by Mister Bushice »

Don't forget to show up drunk, dance like only a white man can, and then throw up on your dates shoes later on or out of the car window in the parking lot, whichever hurl comes first.
If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." —GWB Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000
Martyred wrote: Hang in there, Whitey. Smart people are on their way with dictionaries.
War Wagon wrote:being as how I've got "stupid" draped all over, I'm not really sure.
User avatar
War Wagon
2010 CFB Pickem Champ
Posts: 21127
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 2:38 pm
Location: Tiger country

Re: I'm going to the prom.

Post by War Wagon »

R-Jack wrote: My question to you shitholes is, how far should I take this prom thing?
Book a first class room at some near bye hostel, preferably one that has an in-room jacuzzi, and fuck the everliving shit out of her drunk ass.

That bitch isn't getting any younger and neither are you.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

Divorce your wife for even contemplating an "adult prom".

Seriously, it only gets worse.
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
User avatar
RevLimiter
Count Chunkula
Posts: 2211
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Heartland Of America

Post by RevLimiter »

Martyred wrote:Divorce your wife for even contemplating an "adult prom".

Seriously, it only gets worse.
R-Jackoff doesn't have the BALLS to tell his wife he won't go to that stupid fucking deal.
T1B- THE place to be for fun, informative sports talk....or NOT:
Wet-Brained Fucktard wrote:I know we here like to talk shit and we do tend to get, how you say, immature at times. At some points, the banter on a board like this can be somewhat childish. It happens.
jiminphilly
2014 JFFL Champion
Posts: 4553
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:59 pm

Re: I'm going to the prom.

Post by jiminphilly »

R-Jack wrote: Date rape her
When said roleplay is over, make sure she get the ironing done before she comes to bed.
User avatar
Terry in Crapchester
2012 March Madness Champ
Posts: 8995
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2005 12:56 pm
Location: Back in the 'burbs

Post by Terry in Crapchester »

Dinsdale wrote:
missjo wrote: You'll have a more of a chance of getting lucky that way

He's married -- the best chance at being "lucky" he has is if the OL's great great aunt kicks off, she has to leave town with the kids the weekend of the prom, and he gets to sit around all weekend watching football and scratching his nuts.
Well, throw in the OL's great great aunt being filthy rich, and the OL being the only surviving relative, and then he gets really lucky. For a married guy, anyway.
R-Jack wrote:I'm going to . . . rustle up a fake ID.
We've all seen your picture. Your driver's license could do quite nicely as a double for a fake ID.
War Wagon wrote:The first time I click on one of your youtube links will be the first time.
User avatar
Shlomart Ben Yisrael
Insha'Allah
Posts: 19031
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: filling molotovs

Post by Shlomart Ben Yisrael »

Image

Don't forget the corsage.
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
silvurna
Elwood
Posts: 235
Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:00 am

Post by silvurna »

Because this is an 'adult' prom the only sensible thing to do is give your presence there an international theme..it'll show the rest of those loads you are worldly, sophisticated, and have a flair for adventurous evenings out...I recommend you dress as Il Duce and your OL costumed as Maggie Smith portraying Miss Jean Brodie..(in her prime of course).
"The big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing...I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass."
The Eagles
Headhunter
Eternal Scobode
Posts: 2810
Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 10:34 pm

Post by Headhunter »

First of all R-Jack, you never let on how much you like your wife. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."

Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."

Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

And five, now this is the most important, R-Jack. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.
Dinsdale wrote:This board makes me feel like Stephen-Hawking-For-The-Day, except my penis is functional and I can walk and stuff.
User avatar
OCmike
Cursed JFFL Owner
Posts: 3626
Joined: Wed Oct 26, 2005 4:58 pm
Location: South Bay

Post by OCmike »

RACK the FTARH reset.
User avatar
Wolfman
Dumpater Artist
Posts: 7318
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 1:16 pm
Location: SW FL

Post by Wolfman »

necking to Led Zepplin ??

now that is funny !
"It''s not dark yet--but it's getting there". -- Bob Dylan

Carbon Dating, the number one dating app for senior citizens.

"Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to the war, and my fingers to fight."
User avatar
Dinsdale
Lord Google
Posts: 33414
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 5:30 pm
Location: Rip City

Post by Dinsdale »

Wolfman wrote:necking to Led Zepplin ??

now that is funny !

PSSST!

It was a quote from a movie that kind of served as the "defining film" of the Children Of The 80's.


Early 80's, anyway.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
User avatar
Y2K
Internet Overlord
Posts: 2830
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 8:07 am
Location: Fresno CA.

Post by Y2K »

After getting all dressed up in the Tux, stand around the corner from a local Liquor Store and see if some sucker will by you a bottle of good wine for the evening festivities. T.J. Swan or Boone's Farm is always a solid choice. I doubt the wife has much experience lately with drinking such Fine Wine and you might just bring along a barf bag. This would be a great night to borrow the In-laws new car.
Post Reply