Rollins, Stevo, A-Bomb and myself have left summer behind and have WELCOMED the fall season with a whole new mentality. We're fresh, vibrant, and full of 100% pure blood-pumping HATRED for EVERY last one of you, your friends, your family, and even your fucking PETS
i have set forth a plan to eradicate as many of you as we feasibly can. however, this plan does NOT come without painstaking, knuckle-bleeding HELL. i am going to put my crew through weeks and WEEKS of intense, brutal, and surreal training that would make the navy SEALS squirm with intimidation.
it will all start with POUNDING iron
soon enough, my dick won't be the largest appendage my body has to offer. HOLLA! why? because each of my fucking BICEPS will become so massive, i'll have to walk sideways through crowds. Fuck, even Stevo will have guns the NRA would jerk to.
then it's on to conditioning
let me make this VERY clear, cocksnorters: we will hit the most rigorous, physical terrain on the entire PLANET, and we will run until we vomit out of our assholes, and shit out of our incredibly attractive mouths. once we've mastered that, we will run with the wolves in the hills of Kazakstan and become one with the canus lupus. We will survive on nothing but plants, live animals, as well as rotting, fallen carcasses.
once our bodies are beyond that of human stature, it will be on to exclsuive martial arts training -
This is Mark Stevenson. AKA, Badass O'Toole. His teachings are offered to only the best of the BEST in undergound, hand to hand combat. It has been said that Badass O'Toole can move tectonic plates by merely punching the wind. The rest of the Crew and I have been hand selected to learn the ways of the Badass. his regimen is so extreme, that of the 2,489 students who have taken his class, ALL have failed. Yet... 100% of those who have taken his class have ALL become killing MACHINES.
we aren't taking you dickslaps LIGHTLY this go around. we will NOT be fucking around.
we're getting ready for this shit. ARE YOU?
