The Board Bitch race

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Oct 07, 2007 10:25 pm

Back in August, I said:

That being said, I'm gonna have to go with Toejam. I see USC coasting, and then fumbling somewhere down the home stretch; at Cal or possibly at home vs UCLA. This of course will ruin a wire-to-wire NC season, and a genuine internet meltdown beyond anything we've seen in this forum will ensue.

Well, this loss came sooner than expected. And more surprisingly...Toejam actually came correct.

However, with his recent work in this thread, he remains in the standings.

JON's been finding a way to shit out some decent takes here and there. But that's to be expected when all his friends say he knows everything about college football. JON has wasted no time this year, continuing with his highly touted "LOCKS OF THE WEEK" threads, where this week, he proceeded to post a very JON-like 2-8 record. He did call his shot with the Wisky loss, but overall, he's done way more damage than good by continuing to pick his own team to cover and/or win ball games. And we all know how well that's working out. But of course it's common knowledge that Iowa is the best 2-4 team in the history of organized competition, and if it wasn't for all those penalties, injuries, turnovers, and questional coaching, Iowa would be on their way to a national championship.

Then we've got Trixie. What can you say about this guy? He's just a meltdown waiting to happen. I picture him as the loner in the bar watching his beloved Gators, sitting in the darkest corner pounding Red Bulls and chain smoking as UF tries to make a stop on defense.

Few posters take this stuff quite as seriously as our boy Trixie. There's just no shred of humor, personality...anything. The guy just canNOT stand anyone talking shit about his 'lil Gators. He's more sensitive about Gator football than Nick Saban is about academic standards.

By the way, isn't that a cute team? Those Gators? That's a cute, precious little football team -- the way Tebow runs around and just flicks the ball in the endzone at the last second when he's got the guy wide open the entire time. They're just a cuddly little bunch, those Gators.

Two losses by UF. Expect grand things to come out of Trix. Should be epic. Stay tuned...

L45B · Post by **L45B** » Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:07 pm

A very good race thus far, but I have a feeling it could all be decided in a matter of one day. If Kal beats SC, we might witness a barrage of [img]'s that none of us could ever fathom.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:04 pm

bump for a good read that i overlooked previously.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 3:02 pm

Schmuck back in the lead.

SoCalTrjn wrote:well if Im a coach at USC and Im looking at this jugernaut of a Oregon offense, Im going to do what it takes to give my team the best chance to win and thats knock Dixon out of the game. Leaf may be a great passer but the pass rush is going to know where he will be, Dixon is all over the place. Course I would have tried to blow up Vince Young too and hurt him, hopefully they learned from that game.

Course, if trix comes in at any point claiming a 2 loss floriduh team deserves to be in the BCS championship game, he may take over.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 4:19 pm

Then again, if Sam continues to have something about Alabama in every single post, he may be in the running too. His every post being a Bama post is very m2oolesque if I must say so myself.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Oct 24, 2007 4:37 pm

Simply...wow.

Why even hold practice? Why work on tackling and persuing drills? Why hold meetings with your coaches to game-plan and discuss defensive schemes? Why do any of that stuff if you're just going to tell your players to go out there and cheap-shot it?

It's one thing to tell your guys to be aggressive and hit hard, and then...whatever happens, happens. But to instruct them to try and intentionally take out the other guy? Nice.

Jesus crimeny, Toejam. The idea behind sport and competition is very fundamental: You pit your best against their best. Your preparation vs their preparation. And whoever does better in these two departments WINS THE GAME. And if you lose? You go back to that thing called "trying to get better." Wild concept, eh shitforbrains?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 5:40 pm

Sorry Sam, but that campaign speech was pretty weak.

Reading it, I actually felt pretty cheated when I got to the end without some sort of rationale for SEC scheduling.

orcinus · Post by **orcinus** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:02 pm

This shouldn't even be a contest, as the KC posters spend most of the season beating up on one another.

We should never have to apologize for our location.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:10 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:So it's okay to defend every conference other than the SEC...am I correct?

I think it is the "We are the World" stance that puts most people off. While the name is Florida International, it doesn't mean you are branching out per se.

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:19 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:I think it is the "We are the World" stance that puts most people off. While the name is Florida International, it doesn't mean you are branching out per se.

Pictured are T REX, Sudden Sam, Buc Monkey, SEC Ballsucking Homer and others discussing the total righteousness of the SEC

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:26 pm

Sudden Sam wrote: So it's okay to defend every conference other than the SEC...am I correct?

Yeah, pretty much.

A pretty harsh stance on my part, I realize...

But hey, I didn't make the rules...

Sudden Sam wrote:The SEC is the one conference that should never have to make excuses.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:34 pm

I'm pretty sure an offensive line of Hall and Oates, along with Stevie Wonder and Paul Simon would steamroll Florida International.

L45B · Post by **L45B** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:47 pm

Wait a sec, is that John Oates or Lionel Ritchie in the pic? Always get those two confused. Kinda like Mississippi State and Ole Miss.

MuchoBulls · Post by **MuchoBulls** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:57 pm

Looks like Lionel Ritchie

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 7:01 pm

rack Lance

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 7:44 pm

L45B wrote:Wait a sec, is that John Oates or Lionel Ritchie in the pic? Always get those two confused. Kinda like Mississippi State and Ole Miss.

Just remember that Ole Miss is in Oxford.

Jimmy Medalions · Post by **Jimmy Medalions** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:05 pm

orcinus wrote:This shouldn't even be a contest, as the SEC teams spend most of the season beating up on one another.

We should never have to apologize for our OOC scheduling.

Fixed

/s/ SECfan

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Wed Oct 24, 2007 9:32 pm

The hate/envy rises to levels unimagined...bode?

Cicero · Post by **Cicero** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:17 am

Sorry, that not everyone has decided to come in an suck the SEC's balls like the rest of the hacks on TV.

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 4:16 pm

Cicero wrote:Sorry, that not everyone has decided to come in an suck the SEC's balls like the rest of the hacks on TV.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/w ... index.html

Adelpiero · Post by **Adelpiero** » Thu Oct 25, 2007 9:34 pm

rack smickity/socal

i told you guys, this was his year. He was always in the shadows of m200l,trix, and jonsense. I knew this was the year, he was ready to flourish as the board bitch.

and i took him at 8/1 odds. swing and a homerun!

keep'm coming smick, your distancing yourself from the crowd.

Jimmy Medalions · Post by **Jimmy Medalions** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:33 pm

I'm thinking the title is pretty much locked down by smickity at this point. I took the liberty of having the trophy engraved already. Let me know when it's time to formally present the hardware...

Q, West Coast Style · Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:49 pm

Colleen Bellotti?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Oct 30, 2007 11:53 pm

Q, West Coast Style wrote:Colleen Bellotti?

Good candidate, but she can't hang with Toejam...

Colleen has the "I was drunk" excuse to fall back on. How's Schmicky going to defend himself?

"I was born fucking stupid!" ?

Sorry, but this is a yacht race. He's sucked the wind from the sails of every ship-of-fools chasing him.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Oct 31, 2007 3:21 am

Schmick has monopolized this Board Bitch thing to such a severe degree, that the rest of the competing bitches may want to file an antitrust suit.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:00 pm

Hold on. I can see Florida winning out and Georgia losing to Auburn and Kentucky. That would give floriduh the SEC east title. I can see them facing LSU in the SEC championship and actually winning.

I still contend that trix will be in here saying a 3 loss floriduh team should be playing kal for the championship. Until this scenario is no longer mathmatically possible, hold off on the engraving.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:10 pm

Schmick is making the other Board Bitches his Bitch. Impressive.

Killian · Post by **Killian** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 3:09 pm

Fuck. Even Babs is impressed

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Wed Oct 31, 2007 4:41 pm

This just in....Babs is throwing her support toward the Schmick campaign. Having not uttered a word in these parts this season, she felt it would be unfair to the more committed bitches to mount what would no doubt be a victorious run.

It appears that it's schmicks to lose.

When's the announcement?