What do you do when every team you root for sucks?

[warren]

I liked the Oilers=gone, I like the Astros=suck, Texans=suck, Aggies=sucks, Rockets=may or may not suck, futbol team Dyanamo's are pretty good but I'm from Texas futbol=sucks.

What the hell is a man to do?

I'm guessing go for Red Sox, Patriots and any team that doesn't take Kobe=pissant.

War becoming a frontrunner.

Oh and rack the "show me your lightening bolts." They're showcasing a Texan by name of Ladanian to be the class act that he is, and their showing another Texan named Kubiak for what he is, a back up quarterback and a subpar offensive coordinater that nobody would give sniif to being head coach until another trillionaiar oilman went aggie.

I beg all of you to read Lou Holtz's "Winns, Losses, and Lessons."

It put's it in into perspective. Sort of like watching San Diego put an ass whipping on the Pathexans. JPerfectiona baby.

God bless all you of you So-calls and your tax shelters.

[Mikey]

Not sure what's worse.

Having all your teams suck,
or
having teams that always seem to go 90% of the way and then consistently break your heart at the end of the season.

Anyhow, fuck all Boston teams.

And while I'm at it, fuck all NY teams.

And the Dodgers.

[Screw_Michigan]

what do you do when every team you root for sucks?

well, warren, offing your shit self would be a good start. taking down fran with you would probably get you a lot of local support as well.

[smackaholic]

kill yourself.

[smackaholic]

go with the 12 gauge. less painful.

[Bucmonkey]

Kill yourself smack is so fresh...

[Atomic Punk]

...and their showing another Texan named Kubiak for what he is, a back up quarterback and a subpar offensive coordinater that nobody would give sniif to being head coach until another trillionaiar oilman went aggie.

The Texsuckans can't blame David Carr this year. What a fucked up organization. I thought Kubes was this savior. hahahaha Fuck the Texans forever! warren, I'm not shooting at you dude, I've listened to the Texans fans on their NFL sites rip on Carr for their problems for 5 years. Now this genius in Kubiak is getting exposed for the fraud he is. My favorite team plays the Houston Texans every week since the sacrificial lamb was offered to Carolina.

Fuck Kubiak and Houston!

[smackaholic]

I'll tell you what's worse than having every team you root for suck....having your magic badluck umbrella blowup in your face.

ftfy, nc

[RadioFan]

I'll tell you what's worse than having every team you root for suck....having teams you've despised your entire life suceeding all at the same time.

THA SOXXX WIN! THAAAAAAA SOX WIN!!

Tell it to some underage girl or your mom, douche. Better yet, KILL yourself.

[RadioFan]

I liked the Oilers=gone, I like the Astros=suck, Texans=suck, Aggies=sucks, Rockets=may or may not suck, futbol team Dyanamo's are pretty good but I'm from Texas futbol=sucks.

What the hell is a man to do?

Do what you always do and find another man, in San Marcos.


Seriously, when the SA Spurs were down -- for those whole 2 or 3 years, in the last two decades -- I wasn't sure what I would do, during those years, except have high hopes for my team.

The Kansas City Chiefs lured me in, starting about 1990. They've broken my heart more times than KU hasn't won basketball championships, living in Lawrence, from 1989-99, and then in Oklahoma.

Suck it up and stick with your teams, you fucking faggot.

[Mister Bushice]

I liked the Oilers=gone, I like the Astros=suck, Texans=suck, Aggies=sucks, Rockets=may or may not suck, futbol team Dyanamo's are pretty good but I'm from Texas futbol=sucks.

What the hell is a man to do?

Move out of Texas.

[poptart]

The Texsuckans can't blame David Carr this year.

Last I checked David Carr was sitting in favor of 57 yr old Vinnie Testaverde.

Oh, that's right ..... his back is sore. haha

Funny, he got the snot kicked out of him in Houston for 4 yrs but it's now that a 'sore back' is keeping him down, ... so Vinnie can play.

Face facts, AP, David Carr isn't really worth jack squat as a NFLer.

I watched him a lot, living in Houston.

Nice kid, tough kid, bright kid, .... loser.

The Texans problems were certainly not his fault, but it's also very true that he was no part of the solution.

[warren]

what do you do when every team you root for sucks?

well, warren, offing your shit self would be a good start. taking down fran with you would probably get you a lot of local support as well.

OK, I knew the suicidal offerings would be coming my way, however, other than sports and other than you light in the loafer, pink sausage swilling fag's, I still love pussy, surfing and sunrises. oh, and money doesn't suck either, even though I'm not making much of it right now.

One more, however though, this dude's one that included Fran's demise is funny, creative and get's a rack.

Thanks for making my day poofter.

[warren]

...and their showing another Texan named Kubiak for what he is, a back up quarterback and a subpar offensive coordinater that nobody would give sniif to being head coach until another trillionaiar oilman went aggie.

The Texsuckans can't blame David Carr this year. What a fucked up organization. I thought Kubes was this savior. hahahaha Fuck the Texans forever! warren, I'm not shooting at you dude, I've listened to the Texans fans on their NFL sites rip on Carr for their problems for 5 years. Now this genius in Kubiak is getting exposed for the fraud he is. My favorite team plays the Houston Texans every week since the sacrificial lamb was offered to Carolina.

Fuck Kubiak and Houston!

OK, I'll agree that you probably want to fuck Kubiak, but Houston would be a major undertaking, even for vodka and vicodin starving queer such as yourself.

However, if you're going to give it a try, my Brother is a Houston Chronicle contributor and would love to "chronicle" this epic homosexual endeavour and it may even end up in a annusal event, forever named in your honour.

So please notify your "steward" to warm up the Gulfstream VIII Stealth, prep the vodka and the IV and get your greased up ass to H-town.

I would reccomend that you flight plan for Hobby Airport, it's so much closer to Montrose than Bush, and we all how much you hate bush, and I don't me the President's.

Now fuck you very much, Texan's 38-Gaiders 9.

David Carr will be in man on man porn within the year, Fresno State, like you is a fraud. And yes my man David Carr had a hair stylist on the sideline, that shit don't fly in Texas bra.

One last thing Atomic Puke, don't bother sending special ops guys here, I'm too far inland for your SEAL attached subs.


Party on wannabee.

[warren]

I liked the Oilers=gone, I like the Astros=suck, Texans=suck, Aggies=sucks, Rockets=may or may not suck, futbol team Dyanamo's are pretty good but I'm from Texas futbol=sucks.

What the hell is a man to do?

Do what you always do and find another man, in San Marcos.


Seriously, when the SA Spurs were down -- for those whole 2 or 3 years, in the last two decades -- I wasn't sure what I would do, during those years, except have high hopes for my team.

The Kansas City Chiefs lured me in, starting about 1990. They've broken my heart more times than KU hasn't won basketball championships, living in Lawrence, from 1989-99, and then in Oklahoma.

Suck it up and stick with your teams, you fucking faggot.

You know what dude, I really enjoyed your Knute Rockne speach there Gipper, but when you call me a faggot and have some over compensating avatar, then you better start getting real and talking to the Dr. Phil.

You were "lured" in by the Chiefs, then they broke your "heart."

The Spurs sucked for awhile then the resucitated your "heart."

I played fucking ball, I slung a rifle for my country and I love my wife. You on the other hand, I mean the one that's not on your cock while fucking yourself litterally and figuratively every time you click SUBMIT, are a child with no comprehension skills.

I was pissed last night and I really don't care who wins as long as the price of oil reaches $hundy a barrel and you kooks keep bying "HYBRIDS.That way I win, and I don't give a fuck what a bunch of overpaid moron do on the freshly trimmed field, you know, like the Dolphin that requested a translator for the trip to England, he said he didn't know they spoke English.

I always win, I'm on sabaticall and this is better than xbox for me, that's all.

[warren]

The Texsuckans can't blame David Carr this year.

Last I checked David Carr was sitting in favor of 57 yr old Vinnie Testaverde.

Oh, that's right ..... his back is sore. haha

Funny, he got the snot kicked out of him in Houston for 4 yrs but it's now that a 'sore back' is keeping him down, ... so Vinnie can play.

Face facts, AP, David Carr isn't really worth jack squat as a NFLer.

I watched him a lot, living in Houston.

Nice kid, tough kid, bright kid, .... loser.

The Texans problems were certainly not his fault, but it's also very true that he was no part of the solution.

Thank you for being the first one that I can say has a solid take on what's going on. I initiated this thread before the 38 year old fogey, ME, went to bed, just so I could wake up and play with the retards, but you sir got in a good shot.

My respect to you. The Texans have many faults, as you stated, but D. Carr and his floppy freaking hair and sore back did not solve any problems in Carolina and his line didn't block for him in Houston because he is a softy leader and they lost confidence in a guy that held on to the ball to long and mad them look bad, (i.e. 68 sacks,NFL record).

I will agree with you on another thing, he and his Family were exemplery citizens in Houston. However, I want an asshole that hate's Houston, smokes crack and love hookers, but wins games.

Thank you very much.

[warren]

I liked the Oilers=gone, I like the Astros=suck, Texans=suck, Aggies=sucks, Rockets=may or may not suck, futbol team Dyanamo's are pretty good but I'm from Texas futbol=sucks.

What the hell is a man to do?

Move out of Texas.

I do quite regularly, but I come back every now and then just prove my lack of intelligence to you sorry fucks.

Texas is best to hell with the rest.

Although I really would like NO Cal this time of year, or New Hampshire.

[Goober McTuber]

Although I really would like NO Cal this time of year

Keep a close watch on your credit cards, and double-wrap that pencil-dick.

[warren]

Although I really would like NO Cal this time of year

Keep a close watch on your credit cards, and double-wrap that pencil-dick.

Thanks for the heads up McDufuss, however, I'm to poor to have a credit card and my Magic Marker don't need no condom, because I reserve it for my lovely Wife.

One thing that your "epic" retort reminded me of, was the time I had to double-wrap your old lady's horrid cranium and then how hard I laughed when the OBGYN told me how he had to "double-wrap" that savant she gave birth to because it was your's.

No matter how much I deposited in her gaping tuna troller, I couldn't get it done and my hat is off to you for besting me.

Please give the beast a hello and remind her to think of what she could of had: my inability to get her pregnant v. your inability to get her off.


Bwaaaaaahhhhh, bitch!

[Goober McTuber]

So in your first sentence you claim loyalty to your wife, then spend the rest of your post claiming to have fucked mine? I see your time away from the board hasn’t exactly made you any smarter.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I had the same problem warren...

...until I read JSC810's brand new book, How To Be A Fan of Basically Any Team In The Country In 24 Hours! It's a great way to bandwagon for anybody you want without feeling like a giant douchebag!

WHOA!!!!


So how does it work, you ask? Well I'll tell ya!. It's all based on "ties" to a given university or professional sports town. It's actually very simple, and allows you to be a tried and true, dyed-in-the-wool fan in less than 24 hours!!

No way, you say?? Well to that I say, WAAAAAAY!!

Here's what you do. First, construct a tree of every...single...person with a tie to you in some way, shape, or form. Make sure to include close friendships, friends of friends, blood relationships, in-laws, distant cousins, and all those other bullshit relatives. But don't forget about all those not so obvious people connected to you. That could mean famous stars who you know on message boards like Jesse Heiman, all the way down to NBA team owners, whose salads' you might've tossed by proxy.

Next, pick out any team you want. Doesn't matter who, just pick out any ol' team whose colors you want to proudly don on gameday.

For this particular example, we'll go with the University of Southern California Trojans.

Now that you've got a working list of "ties" to choose from, and a brand new soon-to-be favorite team, it's time to make your fandom official!

Disclaimer: The following information is based strictly on hypothetical situations. Your results may vary.

Brother Steve lives Philadelphia, PA
V
Steve has a best friend who lives in Houston, Texas
V
Steve's best friend knows a guy, who has a sister, who fucked an asian midget in a bathroom on the eve of her wedding
V
Said midget resides in Van Nuys and earns a living acting in the fetish porn industry where he appeared in a flick called "Big Chicks on Little Dicks," and is shown pounding a busty blonde
V
Blonde porn star lives in LA, and is USC alum, former valedictorian, and current season ticket holder
V
But instead of actually going to the games, she gives her tickets away to a local drug dealer in exchange for equal amounts of smack and assorted pain killers
V
Drug dealer attends USC home football games
V
Connection satisified.

And just like that, warren, you've got an official tie to the USC TROJANS! This makes you an instant, but honorary DIEHARD USC Trojan fan!!

For further details, by the book today! Or don't...and continue to wallow in pain and misery.

[KC Scott]

Bwa at Mgoo's 7 degrees of Band Wagondon

[War Wagon]

Good stuff, Magoo.

I mean really authentic, original material.

Who'd you rip that off from? :wink:

Like Dins says, those that can, do.

[RadioFan]

You know what dude, I really enjoyed your Knute Rockne speach there Gipper, but when you call me a faggot and have some over compensating avatar, then you better start getting real and talking to the Dr. Phil.

Uh, hello?

I've got a hot chick in my av, and you're knocking it (so to speak?). Check. Next time, I'll break out the giant penis av, if that makes you feel any better. Faggot.

You were "lured" in by the Chiefs, then they broke your "heart."

The Spurs sucked for awhile then the resucitated your "heart."

Actually, the Spurs have had a whole 1 -- count it motherfucker -- ONE losing season since 1989, and aside from '85-89, only one other, if I'm not mistaken. The Spurs are currently the most successful pro franchise in sports over the last decade, you fucking incoherent hillbilly. I've been a fan since 1977, no matter what.

I played fucking ball, I slung a rifle for my country and I love my wife.

Congrats. Sounds like it's well-earned. You go, boy.

Just don't let your "teams" get in the way of bringing you down.


p.s. Rack Mgo. Funny shit.

[indyfrisco]

I liked the Oilers=gone, I like the Astros=suck, Texans=suck, Aggies=sucks, Rockets=may or may not suck, futbol team Dyanamo's are pretty good but I'm from Texas futbol=sucks.

I liked the Oilers too...now a Titans Fan and they are a sucky 5-2. Agree on Stros. Never like the Texans. Agree on Ags. No Hakeem...no Dream. Rocket=suck.

What the hell is a man to do?

Move out of Texas.

I tried that. My teams still suck. I do pretend to to be a Colts Fan when with the in-laws as they are all Colts fans. However, faking rooting for a divisional rival and really acting like you're enjoying watching them win is like acting like you're happy your schlong is 2" longer than the dude nailing your wife's stink star while you watch.

Oh, warren, to top it off, expect Kubiak to be heading the Aggies next year too.

[Goober McTuber]

Hurry up and die already, you drunken mother-humping pedophile.

[RadioFan]

And Radiofan.....try changing your outer layer of clothing as often as your underwear. OK shitstain?

And maybe mix in a brushing of your tooth every now and then with a gargle of something resemblaing mouthwash other than Yukon Jack. It's not like oral hygene is that difficult when you can count on one hand the number of teeth left.

And keep up the good post. At least when you type your tripe out, we don't have to smell it.

Not bad, except for the Yukon Jack smack.

See, you can do it Todd, even in these incredibly dark days of Yankme turmoil. All you have to do is put forth the effort you just displayed and pull the trigger. I promise, everything will be better.

[Dinsdale]

What do you do when every team you root for sucks?

Tell the world that they're the only teams that should never have to make excuses.

[PSUFAN]

What do you do when every team you root for sucks?

Hop aboooooooard!

--SEC BallSuckingWagonDriver

[Douchebag]

I will adminsister a backwards Heimlich manuever upon you....kneeing you in the crotch while I grab your balls and ram them into your asshole....thrusting in a twisting upward motion into your diaphram which will force your liver and kidneys into your mouth whereupon I force you to chew your own organs and swallow them back down.

excellent. excellent

[RadioFan]

And Radiofan.....try changing your outer layer of clothing as often as your underwear. OK shitstain?

And maybe mix in a brushing of your tooth every now and then with a gargle of something resemblaing mouthwash other than Yukon Jack. It's not like oral hygene is that difficult when you can count on one hand the number of teeth left.

And keep up the good post. At least when you type your tripe out, we don't have to smell it.

Not bad, except for the Yukon Jack smack.

See, you can do it Todd, even in these incredibly dark days of Yankme turmoil. All you have to do is put forth the effort you just displayed and pull the trigger. I promise, everything will be better.

Here is what I promise...If ever I run into you in person

I will adminsister a backwards Heimlich manuever upon you....kneeing you in the crotch while I grab your balls and ram them into your asshole....thrusting in a twisting upward motion into your diaphram which will force your liver and kidneys into your mouth whereupon I force you to chew your own organs and swallow them back down. I'd probably kick you in the head a few times for good measure, then wipe my sneakers clean of your shit and move onto the next Okie cesspool of a town and deal with the inbred retards there.....just another outsider passing thru Oklahoma pretty much.

Ya, I heard, A-Rod is going to re-sign.

Calm down, faggot.

while I grab your balls

thrusting in a twisting upward motion into your diaphram

Nice try, but sorry to dissappoint you, bro.

Unfortunately, for you, I'm not a 12-year-old girl. Nor am I you mother, you fucking faggot.

But by all means, send A-Rod an e-mail, with your potential "administrations," for his re-signing.

Btw, be sure to tell him to be prepared to win at least 90 games a year, only to be crushed in the playoffs, each and every year.

Fucking tard.

[RadioFan]

I will adminsister a backwards Heimlich manuever upon you....kneeing you in the crotch while I grab your balls and ram them into your asshole....thrusting in a twisting upward motion into your diaphram which will force your liver and kidneys into your mouth whereupon I force you to chew your own organs and swallow them back down.

excellent. excellent

See, now THAT's what I'm talking about, Douche. Todd doesn't know what's in for him. He has no IDEA.

[Doug near DC]

kill yourself.

Can I have his record player?

[smackaholic]

bow down to the king of page two you unworthy cunts.

And Smackholic.....I thought we were cool.....guess not now.

Just digging through some old threads and I come across this bit. Apparently in response to busting your stones over that magic umbrella losing a bit of it's magic.

What exactly is "cool". If it means that we go around slurping one another's nutsack 24/7 as some do here, then, no, I guess we're not...uhh, cool.

I rarely pass up an opportunity to drop smack around this shithole on anybody. It's why it exists. It doesn't mean I dislike or like anybody here. Fukkk, I've never even met anybody here in real life. And the more I read shit like this, the more I think it's probably a good idea to keep it that way.

It's really too bad that there are posters here that take this place personally.

Have a merry xmas todd. Hope you get some nice yankee gear from santa. That shit ought to be on clearance by now. And merry xmas to the rest of you shitstains too, 'cept for the whacko america hating tin foil hat brigade. You fukks really can feel free to just kill yourselves.