I dig a Pygmy by Charles Hawtrey and the Deaf Aids...

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:31 am

-Phase One in which Doris gets her oats.

What the H-E double-hot dogs did that mean anyway?

Hi Fukkers. How she be?

I've been taking a break from the Internets, examining the life not lived, reading books like "Ghost Soldiers" and "Born on a Blue Day," and taking eight mile walks until my knees scream like a little girl. I still love the clean, refreshing taste of Hamm's beer, although Summit is better and Yellowtail is less fattening.

I have nothing particularly profound to add, other than to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. May your wines be blended, your deck screws squared, your tomato soup filled with oyster crackers, your coffers full, your livers functioning, your underwear clean and of the male variety, your banjos tuned to Double C, unless you are playing bluegrass...

Be thankful for what you have and don't be assholes, at least not more than 75 percent of the time.

Me, I want to kayak around Lake Superior, see Brett Fukking Favre live at Lambeau on the 30th, and try and make enough money in the new year to survive.

I remain your Humble Servant,

Fraternally Yours Through Christ,

Uncle Fester

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:43 am

~~Fester was run.~~

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 8:46 am

poptart wrote:~~Fester was run.~~

HELL NO!!

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 10:34 am

We thought them sirens done loved you up and turned you into a horny toad.

Welcome back.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 12:34 pm

Gallivanting on the Lake Paths, eh?

Merry Christmas, Fester.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 1:24 pm

we thought you wuz dead.

asshole.

rack your deciding to have a life in 07. now get back in here, once in awhile, anyway.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 3:16 pm

PS: 'Getting your oats' is a descriptive term for a full and satisfying sex life.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 4:18 pm

Nishlord wrote:PS: 'Getting your oats' is a descriptive term for a full and satisfying sex life.

No, actually it just means it's her feeding time again.

sin

Rumplehusband

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:11 pm

Rack Fester & Nish

The rest of youse can go fukk yerselves

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:40 am

Uncle Fester wrote: Be thankful for what you have

Amen to that.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:41 am

Mister Bushice wrote:We thought them sirens done loved you up and turned you into a horny toad.

Welcome back.

RACK the OBWAT reset.

Oh yeah, and the Fester sighting.

KC Scott · Post by **KC Scott** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:48 am

It's a Fester Sighting!

God Bless us, everyone

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:16 am

I think Poptart still hates me because given his nic and posting style, I once told him I always assumed he was a girl.

Nish, thanks for the ruling on the field about Charles Hawtry, although I still don't know who the hail he was. Maybe he's the Englishster version of Johnny Arthur from Little Rascals fame:

By the way, I was nearly killed the other night whilst browsing the used X-box games at Gamestop. I bumped the shelf and was buried up to my neck in an avalanche of used copies of "FIFA World Cup Soccer." The clerk grabbed me, saying he'd sell me any soccer game in the store for $1.99 and to hurry, because there were only 18,958 copies left. I declined the offer, prying his fingers off my arm with a pliers, and bought something more exciting -- I think it was "Curling Take-Out 2," featuring the life-like curling action of legendary world champion, Randy Ferbey.

Hey to everybody else and Happy Christmas!

Now is the time in the Fester Household ven vee dance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PklKed5FIr0

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 9:36 am

Uncle Fester wrote:I think Poptart still hates me because given his nic and posting style, I once told him I always assumed he was a girl.

Well, he throws like a girl.

He runs extremely well, though

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 11:28 am

nobody brings the sahkah smack like fester.

rack

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Sun Dec 23, 2007 12:23 pm

Fester,

He was the extremely impotent and camp one in the Carry On series of films from the mid-50s to the early 70s. Riotously popular in the Mother Country. The only one Americans may have the slightest inkling of would have been Carry On Follow That Camel, as it starred Phil Silvers.

And everyone knows that Pro Evo is a million times better than the FIFA games.

socal · Post by **socal** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 8:59 pm

In truth, Fester's kid ran him in FIFA World Cup Soccer.

Here is Fester's kid, post nutmegging the Old Man:
.
.
.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 9:35 pm

Nishlord wrote:

John Bonham has him beat. 40 shots of vodka the day before he kicked, and he would have survived the day had he not choked on his own vomit.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:24 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:

Any man who drinks Drambuie can't be all bad.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:29 pm

BSmack wrote:Any man who drinks Drambuie can't be all bad.

Drambuie is a horrible thing to do to Scotch.

People who drink rusty nails should be beaten severely for their sacrilege.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 11:33 pm

Yea, really sucks adding all that flavor to Scotch. ;)

T1B

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