Baseball

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:46 pm

RJ gets it-btw.

Since baseball is in a bit of a scandal, how about going all Old School up in it, and having Opening Day... oh, I dunno... in Cincinnatti, like it always used to be? Although DC with the new park would have been an excellent choice, as well.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:49 pm

My bad - I forgot that the last great hope of baseball abides yet in the U&L.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:57 pm

PSUFAN wrote:My bad - I forgot that the last great hope of baseball abides yet in the U&L.

That was an example given because I'm bombarded with all things M's on a daily basis (yuk). Tere's plenty of other excellent defensive lineups this season.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:57 pm

jiminphilly wrote:
RevLimiter wrote:
BSmack wrote:Baseball... something to kill the time between the NFL combines and training camp.
Truer words were never spoken.

FUCK Baseball and the roided up freaks that play it.
Because the NFL is free of any substance abuse problems...

Of course it is. They have an awesome testing program. And, as we all know, it is perfectly natural for 6'2" 250 lbs guys to break off 4.5 40 times while benching 500 lbs.

I'm no die hard baseball fan (though I am planning a trip to see Yankee Stadium this summer before the wrecking ball hits it), but you would have to be an absolute moron to slam baseball for it's drug issues while at the same time professing to be a die hard football fan.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:02 pm

BSmack wrote:And, as we all know, it is perfectly natural for 6'2" 250 lbs guys to break off 4.5 40 times while benching 500 lbs.

An acquaintence played football for a D1AA college. Says by his junior year, he showed up to play linebacker at 255 (he's about 6'3 or thereabouts), and at camp ran a 4.35. I asked him if the coaches knew what was up...

After a few minutes, when he got done laughing, his answer was "Gee, ya'think? 255 pound college scrubs always run 4.30's, right?"

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:16 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
BSmack wrote:And, as we all know, it is perfectly natural for 6'2" 250 lbs guys to break off 4.5 40 times while benching 500 lbs.
An acquaintence played football for a D1AA college. Says by his junior year, he showed up to play linebacker at 255 (he's about 6'3 or thereabouts), and at camp ran a 4.35. I asked him if the coaches knew what was up...

After a few minutes, when he got done laughing, his answer was "Gee, ya'think? 255 pound college scrubs always run 4.30's, right?"

That 40 must have been done on blacktop and been both hand timed and wind aided. 4.35 would have made him one of the fastest players period at this year's combine. Those college 40 times are about as reliable as a Colin Powell report on Iraqi WMDs. But still, even if you add the appropriate .2 seconds to his time to reflect reality, he's still moving at a damn solid clip. What ever happened to him?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:20 pm

BSmack wrote: What ever happened to him?

He grew tits and his balls got so big he couldn't run any more.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:21 pm

BSmack wrote:What ever happened to him?

His juicing produced the intended result -- he got a schollie for a 4th ear. If he was some mega-talent, he wouldn't have been playing 1AA in the first place, more than likely.

Now, a few years removed, he's alive and well (last I heard anyway), working as a bouncer at some of the finest clubs and tittybars, nailing the finest skanks available.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:22 pm

Mikey wrote:
BSmack wrote: What ever happened to him?
He grew tits and his balls got so big he couldn't run any more.

His Golden Rule -- when he had to reach down through his crotch to wipe his ass, it was time to cycle off.

I laughed when I heard that one.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:39 pm

My backup keyboard (after my trusty old Fujitsu unit had some problems) has produced some epic typos.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:46 pm

Fester, didn't Bill Veeck's son own the Saints at one time?

Yep, Mike Veeck. He owns five minor league teams.

The Saints games feature things like...
* Pig races
* Dogs that bring fresh baseballs to the umpires
* Drag racing (guys in drag pulling sections of chainlink fence around the infield to smooth out the dirt)
* Nuns who give massages between innings
* Mimes who perform instant replays

etc.

Rollins · Post by **Rollins** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:47 pm

I pound steroids and B-Light like it's water to a starving African.

I could fucking KILL most of you just by flexing.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:59 pm

Uncle Fester wrote:The Saints games feature things like...
* Pig races
* Dogs that bring fresh baseballs to the umpires
* Drag racing (guys in drag pulling sections of chainlink fence around the infield to smooth out the dirt)
* Nuns who give massages between innings
* Mimes who perform instant replays

etc.

If I'm ever in the area, this sounds like a must-see.

Although around here the AAA team (largest metro area without an MLB team-btw, with Pittsburg being a close second) plays in the recently remodelled POS park. But the one worthwhile improvement, was they put a bar right on the first base line. Epic. Last game I went to, some old dude had his back turned while getting his food and drink, when the batter looped a foul.

Me and my drunk buddies (it was even a corporate dealio that day, and we were mercilessly sucking kegs dry on the 1st base line) were all like "I GOT IT... I GOT IT... oh, fuck, that old dude really got it."

The splattering of blood about the place was really a sight. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. Stadium staff hauled the guy off for treatment (he must have been well over 70). And I'll be damned if Tough Old Bastard wasn't back with a bandage within about 5 minutes, slurping down beers.

They have a Thirsty Thursday deal, where beers are like $2 on Thursday night games. Last couple of seasons, they average about 15,000 a game for AAA. The first base bar pretty much becomes a meet-market on Thursdays, which is kinda cool at a ball game.

RACK baseball.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:15 pm

Minute Maid ballpark is among THE worst stadium to purchase alcoholic beverages. Shit costs for a 16 ouncer in a shitty plastic bottle. Fuck that. I like to take a roadie to Round Rock to watch the AAA team play in the very fan friendly confines of Dell Diamond. My buddy works for Dell and he gets free tix all the time. I love to grab a few beach towels and just lay out on the lawn in right field with a nice cold brew and a tasty hot dog in hand. Fucking rack!

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:32 pm

(largest metro area without an MLB team-btw, with Pittsburg being a close second)

When we were officially known as Pittsburgh, our baseball teams were fucking nails.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/c ... erCard.jpg" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Jeff in SD · Post by **Jeff in SD** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 6:58 pm

As much as I do like football, going to ballgames is one of the most kick ass things to watch live. Couldn't think of a better atmosphere. Football has a lot of excitement but I've enjoyed it more watching it on TV rather than at the Stadium. But then again I live in San Diego, and watching the Chargers and San Diego State play has been abysmal whether they are winning or losing since the fans here might be the shittiest in all sports. Luckily good ol Dodger Stadium is only a couple hours away.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:15 pm

PSUFAN wrote: When we were officially known as Pittsburgh, our baseball teams were fucking nails.

I'm actually quite familiar with the spelling of "PittsburgH."

H is one of the keys on tis POS keyboard that just ain't cutting it. The space bar hasn't been too frindly to me, either.

I was going to go back and fix "this," but for this post... perfect.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:01 am

Sudden Sam wrote: I love baseball. The intricacies of the game, the details. I try to explain to my wife that on every pitch, every player has to be thinking about what he'll do.

Here, Here!

Nothing like being at a game with someone else knowledgable and dissecting every move.

Every once in a while my brothers will be in town and we'll get to a game, just like we did when we were kids. Growing up, we'd go at the drop of a hat, 5 seconds notice and 30 minutes before game time... "hey, let's go to the game". It didn't hurt that we lived 10 minutes from the stadium. Getting to watch George Brett/Frank White/Amos Otis/Willie Wilson/etc. for about $5 was nice motivation to fill a seat.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:04 am

War Wagon wrote:Willie Wilson

If my memory is working right (fat chance), he hit the first inside-the-park HR I ever saw.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:24 am

I'm quite sure it was the first time I'd ever seen one as well. I was all like "is that even legal"???

Turns out it was.

RevLimiter · Post by **RevLimiter** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:30 am

War Wagon wrote:Willie Wilson

Arguably one of the best base stealers I've ever seen. GODDAMN that dude could haul ass around the bases.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:54 am

Sudden Sam wrote:Amos Otis! Another great Mobilian.

We just called him 'AO' or 'smooth'.

I'll never forget watching him crash into the fence in Anaheim and steal a HR from Freddy Lynn. I may forget to take my lunch to work tomorrow, but won't forget who patrolled CF for my beloved Royals during their hay day.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:07 am

Twins/Rays game today that my brother and I saw--Livan Hernandez did something I never saw in my life.
Read it here. It was amazing to see !!

http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/news/art ... p&c_id=min" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:13 am

Man, I will never forget when I was in New York a few years back and I decided to take the train out to Flushing Meadows for a Mets day game against my beloved Astros. I had the 'Stros hat and bought a single game ticket in the nose bleeds out in left field. I get up there with a cold one in my hand and there are 5 hard core New Yorkers all around my age starting to give me shit about my ballcap. Just sitting up there by myself hearing it for the first couple of innings.

Then, I get up to walk down for another cold brew and the 5 Brooklyn boys ask if I would get them a beer. "Sure."

While I was away getting beers for my new found friends, I missed some action. I get back with beers a plenty in my hand and the guys tell me that I missed back-to-back bombs by the Mets. They start to rub it in and razz me a bit, but paid for mine and their beers. Next thing you know, we're talking about nothing but the game and about the current players, sharing opinions and getting into some damn good debates. After the game, the boys took me to their local bar in Brooklyn where we continued to talk baseball into the early evening hours.

Great times.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:32 am

Wolfman wrote:Twins/Rays game today that my brother and I saw--Livan Hernandez did something I never saw in my life.
Read it here. It was amazing to see !!

http://minnesota.twins.mlb.com/news/art ... p&c_id=min" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Checked out the article. What an amazing play... But Hernandez kicking a ball soccer-style to the 1st baseman for an out isn't what stuck out to me, it was this:

The play was executed so perfectly that (Twins first baseman)Morneau was asked after the game if the team intends to add that specific move into pitchers' fielding practice.

I mean, are you freaking kidding me? Are they going to practice kicking the ball to 1st base?!

Whichever reporter asked that should be flogged until it looks like a '68 Mustang peeled out on his back with a cheesegrater, have goat feces and rock salt rubbed into the wounds, have remoras attached to his nutsack ('sup Paul), and be sent to the Dinah Shore Invitational with "God Hates Snizz-lickers" written on his chest in menstrual blood.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:55 am

OCmike wrote: Whichever reporter asked that should be flogged until it looks like a '68 Mustang peeled out on his back with a cheesegrater, have goat feces and rock salt rubbed into the wounds, have remoras attached to his nutsack ('sup Paul), and be sent to the Dinah Shore Invitational with "God Hates Snizz-lickers" written on his chest in menstrual blood.

Uhm... I think he was just having some fun with it, Mike.

That would be one hell of a play to see.

Freaking Livan... either the best pitcher in the bigs, or gives up 7 in 3. The problem being, you never know which Livan you're getting when he takes the mound.

Willie Wilson is probably the best baserunner Ive ever seen that wasn't named Rickey.

Rumps -- I've never been to NY, but seems like whenever I come across the transplants, be it at a AAA game or at the sports bar, them NYers take their baseball pretty freaking seriously. They'll be up in your face, then buy you a brew... ponderous. Last time I dealt with one, at a AAA game, he traded me a 2000 WS Champion Yanks hat for my standard-issue Yanks hat (something about buying two at Yankee Stadium during the WS, one for his father, who had recently croaked, and figured his dad woulkd want someone else to enjoy it... and I have, to the point it's just about worn out). Cool guy, big mouth. If I put on a Yanks hat and a Ducks shirt when I go to Seattle, it makes me Mr. Popular, and I meet lots of really friendly locals. Especially at a Seahawks tailgate. New Yorkers take their baseball really seriously, Seattlites take their fighting really seriously.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:19 am

Dinsdale wrote:
OCmike wrote: Whichever reporter asked that should be flogged until it looks like a '68 Mustang peeled out on his back with a cheesegrater, have goat feces and rock salt rubbed into the wounds, have remoras attached to his nutsack ('sup Paul), and be sent to the Dinah Shore Invitational with "God Hates Snizz-lickers" written on his chest in menstrual blood.

Uhm... I think he was just having some fun with it, Mike.

Don't stop me, dammit...I was on a roll! :D

I just hate it when reporters ask stupid questions, even if they're trying to be funny. They aren't there to be funny, they're there to write a banal article about a meaningless Minnesota Twins baseball game. If they actually were funny, they'd have a pop culture humor column on the editorials page and wouldn't be sniffing nog jocks in the locker room.

Dins wrote:Freaking Livan... either the best pitcher in the bigs, or gives up 7 in 3. The problem being, you never know which Livan you're getting when he takes the mound.

The problem is, he's the latter more than the former. I forget the name of the infamous umpire that was calling, "STEEEEEEEEEEERIKE!!!!" for Hernandez even before he had lifted his leg towards home plate during the Marlin's series win, but LH owes that guy at least $10 mil.

That sham WS performance is the whole reason the Giants traded for him in the first place. Stupid front office...

I watched him pitch plenty of times with SF and most of the time he was just gawdawful. The only reason they kept him on as long as they did was because even at $3 million/year, no one else would even consider touching him. Well, if he was a 12 y/o cub scout in the Dominican Republic, InkyDave might have, but other than him, no one else would!

When they finally ditched him, they sent him off to Montreal with Edwards Guzman (who?) and cash, for a player to be named later and Jim Brower. In other words, they paid the Expos to take him off their roster...and the teams swapped two no-name shitty players.

I don't fault him one bit for his shortcomings though, because he's one of those "nobody's done more with less" guys in my book. He got dumped by the Giants for being a grade-A POS and five years later he's pulling in double what the Giants were paying him.

:bode:

Sin,
Livan

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:40 am

Dinsdale wrote:
Willie Wilson is probably the best baserunner Ive ever seen that wasn't named Rickey.

RACK that, and RACK Rickeyball. Last I heard Rickey was still coaching and playing for a semi-pro team, after retiring from the bigs, in his late 40's.

All time stolen base leader for both the A's and the Yankees.

Rickey just loves him some baseball.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:49 am

Wolfman wrote:Read it here. It was amazing to see !!

THAT ^ could only come from someone who grew up watching TV on the radio.

Hernandez is a fat fuck who had his best moments when they don't count.

6 teams in 12 years. An inning eater who flames out in year two.

Play by play:

Announcer: It's a Bunt!!!! Hernandez waddles towards the ball, but is too slow and too fat to bend over in time to make a play, so he kicks it in the general direction of first base! WHAT A PLAY!!!

It's in the hole! It's in the Hole!

6 months from now the overpaid fat fuck won't even TRY to get close enough to kick it unless it's disguised as a happy meal.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:34 pm

Mister Bushice wrote: Hernandez is a fat fuck who had his best moments when they don't count.

Holy shit.

NLCS MVP.

World Series MVP.

Care to regale us with more of your superlative knowledge of MLB?

Announcer: It's a Bunt!!!! Hernandez waddles towards the ball, but is too slow and too fat to bend over in time to make a play, so he kicks it in the general direction of first base! WHAT A PLAY!!!

A quick check shows that We Shall Be Livan is up to a grand total of 14 errors in 11 seasons. Has a career .979 fielding %. In 5 different seasons, his fielding % was 1.000, meaning he successfully fielded every ball hit to him (including last season as a "fat fuck"). In contrast, many, if not most people would consider Greg Maddux the best fielding pitcher of the era, and he has a career fielding % of .974.

Good hitting pitcher, as well.

But feel free to share more of your vast historical knowledge of Livan Hernanzez.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:50 pm

Actually Hernandez looks in good shape and pitched well yesterday. The bunt was no ordinary bunt, but a perfectly
executed drag bunt that was rolling down towards 1st base just ahead of the runner. I'm thinking everyone of the 7,900+ people there thought as I did that there was no way he would be out. It may not have been a very "athletic move" but was one of the coolest plays I've ever seen.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:54 am

Now THAT'S how you should open a baseball season. At the nation's capital in a new yard with the president in attendance and you get a well-pitched game by both teams ending with a walk-off homer by the young star of the home team. You can try to sell the game overseas all you, Bud but that is the type of stuff us fans over here appreciate and you don't need to wrap it up in a fancy package. Baseball is still great for what it is...we need to keep it that way.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:15 am

Dinsdale wrote:
Mister Bushice wrote: Hernandez is a fat fuck who had his best moments when they don't count.

Holy shit.

NLCS MVP.

World Series MVP.

Care to regale us with more of your superlative knowledge of MLB?

A fucking decade ago, and what championships has he won since? and HOW many teams has he played for in 10 years? 5? 6? Hell he wasn't even in the post season rotation for the Marlins until Kevin Brown got sick in the NLCS, and he won ONE game in that series. KB won the deciding game.

Moises Alou hit .321 with 3HRs and 9 RBIS in that WS for the marlins, and he saved Eislers ass in both games that Eisler pitched in with a 3 run HR in EACH GAME, so fuck right off on his awesome post season awards.

Announcer: It's a Bunt!!!! Hernandez waddles towards the ball, but is too slow and too fat to bend over in time to make a play, so he kicks it in the general direction of first base! WHAT A PLAY!!!

A quick check shows that We Shall Be Livan is up to a grand total of 14 errors in 11 seasons. Has a career .979 fielding %. In 5 different seasons, his fielding % was 1.000, meaning he successfully fielded every ball hit to him (including last season as a "fat fuck"). In contrast, many, if not most people would consider Greg Maddux the best fielding pitcher of the era, and he has a career fielding % of .974.

Good hitting pitcher, as well.

But feel free to share more of your vast historical knowledge of Livan Hernanzez.

[/quote]

I only had to suffer through the season where FAT Eisler mentally melted down on the mound in the 7th game of the WS where the entire team was counting on him to go deep into the game, except he was gone before the first out of inning #3 and blew the game. ERA 14 plus, all 4 runs scored against the G's were because of him.

Then there was game three, which he also lost, with 5 ER, 6 allowed, and a 12 plus ERA. He didn't make it out of inning 3 there, either.

So I don't give a fuck about his fielding percentage.

He was a .500 pitcher in his 3 plus years in SF, an inning eater who wasn't there when it was all on the line and WHEN IT REALLY MATTERED.

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Mar 31, 2008 1:33 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Rumps -- I've never been to NY, but seems like whenever I come across the transplants, be it at a AAA game or at the sports bar, them NYers take their baseball pretty freaking seriously. They'll be up in your face, then buy you a brew... ponderous.

If you ever get the chance to hear a Yankees fan and a Mets fan talk baseball in NYC, by all means don't pass it up.

Yankeefan still gets on Metsfan for the Nolan Ryan-for-Jim Fregosi trade.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:18 pm

When I was 14 and my parents took me to New York so I can see my favorite player, Don Mattingly, we were sitting in the left field seats about 5 rows up from the foul pole. Anyways, the Yankees were down by 5 runs and it was getting late, so the beers started to flow through Yankee fan. In the 8th inning some drunk guy stands up and rips his long sleeve button up shirt open like Clark Kent and low and behold he was wearing a Mets T-shirt underneath the button up shirt. Dude starts pointing to his Mets shirt and yells in a drunk voice "Lessss sgo Metshhs!" The hard core Yank fans start chanting "Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!" Dude was still pointing at his shirt, so this blonde chick stands up with beer in her hand walks over to the drunk Mets fan and punches him square in the face, but proceeds to lose her balance and fall over the seats and lose her beer. Fucking good times.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 2:36 pm

Moral of the story:

Yankme fans can't handle their beer.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 3:58 pm

Mikey wrote: Yankme fans can't handle their beer.

I believe it was in the 1977 ALCS game 5 when Chambliss hit a walk off HR and got mobbed by drunk fans rounding 3rd and was barely able to make it home. I think he had to shove a few out the way.

Then in the 1980 WS in Philly, the city of brotherly love prepared by having mounted police all up and down both the base lines to prevent unruly, boisterous fans from showing their appreciation for their team. That was exceptional.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 4:22 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:A fucking decade ago, and what championships has he won since?

None. He just nutted it up as a rookie that was tossed into the spotlight... WHEN IT MATTERED.

So I don't give a fuck about his fielding percentage.

After claiming he's too fat to make a play, I point out that last year as a fat fuck, dude not only made a play in the fielkd... he made every single play that came his way.

Yes, I'm sure you don't give a fuck about his fielding %, since it flies in the face of everything you're claiming.

godzilla2002 · Post by **godzilla2002** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 5:27 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YphEUa5LPjM" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Mar 31, 2008 8:22 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
Mister Bushice wrote:A fucking decade ago, and what championships has he won since?
None. He just nutted it up as a rookie that was tossed into the spotlight... WHEN IT MATTERED.

And in 2002 as a veteran his testicles shriveled up TWICE...WHEN IT MATTERED.

So I don't give a fuck about his fielding percentage.
After claiming he's too fat to make a play, I point out that last year as a fat fuck, dude not only made a play in the fielkd... he made every single play that came his way.

Yes, I'm sure you don't give a fuck about his fielding %, since it flies in the face of everything you're claiming.

If his fielding had made ANY difference when he was a potbellied losing pitcher in the Giants 2002 post season I would.