And Y'all Thought All the Hillbillies Were in Alabama

[Goober McTuber]

Dinsdale yipping about “dry-siders” in 5...4...3...2...

[Mikey]

Make the drive sometime from Las Vegas to Reno on Nevada Highway 95 sometime.

Indian Springs, Goldfield, Beatty, Tonopah, Yerington...

You won't see many living creatures along the way but what you do see may shock you.

[Mikey]

Some?!? There are shockingly huge populations of necks in Oregon, California and Washington.

Make the drive sometime from Las Vegas to Reno on Nevada Highway 95 sometime.

Indian Springs, Goldfield, Beatty, Tonopah, Yerington...

You won't see many living creatures along the way but what you do see may shock you.

Yeah, but do they have Confederate battle flags waving over their trailers?

Admittedly, no. Mostly just displays of local fine art accomplishments and tributes to Area 51.

[White Cock]

Rack the everloving crap out of the God Blessed South.

[RumpleForeskin]

Of all things Dinsdale claims the U&L invented, he forgot to mention Eugene, OR as the place of origin for cousin-on-cousin action.

[Goober McTuber]

cousin-on-cousin action.

In.

Sincerely,

Shoalzie

[Wolfman]

When I was working for the USFS in 1959 I was surprised to see so many folks from North Carolina living
in Darrington WA where I stayed when we weren't surveying in the mountains. They were hired by Weyerhauser to log the areas around that part of the Cascades. I think they fit right in with the indigenous "Scawegian" population.

[Q, West Coast Style]

Worst of all, in many parts of the state rednecks have interbred with hippies creating a demonish hybrid with an undying thirst of weed, beer, filth and public displays of indecency.

[smackaholic]

I got news for you, SS. Hillbillies are everywhere. I have yet to find a state that is free of them. Connecticut is probably about as 'billy free as you are gonna find and we got some charming little burgs in the east end of the state that would make you feel right at home.

[Dinsdale]

Mvscal is right. Mikey is right. Q is extra-right.

Oregon isn't the Great Bastion of Civilization, nor have I ever claimed it is.


The Willamette Valley is.


Once you leave the Promised Land... whole new ball game.

Put it this way -- my old next door neighbors in my old duplex and good frieds were from the mountains of West Virginia. They seemed to think there was a lot of rednecks once you left the Valley.

Lots of different types, too. As Q mentioned ,the unholy union of hippies and rednecks produced some odd mutations in the offspring.


Then, you've got your Coastal Necks (sup Q). An inbred lot in their own right. Coastal Necks live for two things -- the smell of cowshit, and meth. Fairly civilized by neck standards, though. As long as they keep making all that good cheese, we'll let them stay.

You've got your Dryside Necks (sup Timmay). They dont really do anything productive, but we let them think they do, and what little they do produce, the Civilized Ones take it from them for the greater good.

And right at the bottom of the totem pole (and why yes, totem poles were invented in the U&L, thank you very much), you have Logger Neck. There's several types of logger Neck, but possibly the most insipid is the North Coast Logger Neck, who I believe are shown on Axe Men. Nasty, nasty lot. Being from the adjacent lands, I can survive stumbling into a logging camp... most of you would not. Logger Neck ain't fucking around. If you do happen across Logger Neck in its native habitat, pray to God you brought booze and meth.


But none of these horrid subspecies of naeck can hold a candle to Southwestern Washington Neck. Their loves include meth, trailers, and meth.

And for those who have never been there... once you leave the populated areas of california, those folks will duelling banjos with anyone.


Mikey -- how could you possibly mention the drive from Vegas up 95 without referencing the crown jewel... Fallon?

[Mikey]

I only didn't mention Fallon because it's a veritable cosmopolitan metropolis compared to some of those other places. Mostly because of the NAS there.

There are some little towns along 95 that consist mainly of a few of these:




a couple of these:



several of these for unsuspecting intruders to fall into:



and some people living in one of these:





There are people out there who have been living for years in 120 degree weather and still don't know about air conditioning.

[indyfrisco]

So this is what the civilized rednecks drive?

[PSUFAN]

If there are any hillbillies on the board, welcome. Can one of you show Fester how to do the Claw Hammer technique?

Happy Ramp Season!